Tag Archives: editing

Does it Really Matter?

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Does it Really Matter?
Terry Odell

Recently, I made some major changes to the wip. As in totally abandoning one thread of my female protagonist and replacing it with another. I’d written 14 chapters and was at the 13K word mark when I realized my heroine’s back story wasn’t working, and I was heading down a dark, winding road that didn’t seem to lead where I needed it to go. I knew the main conflict she was going to be dealing with, but the path we’d started on wasn’t getting there.

My keyboard has a delete key, and I know how to use it, but this wasn’t a matter of making some adjustments. This was ripping out huge chunks of chapters, and rewriting them.

My process here isn’t a “try to fix it” one. I open a new document and rewrite the offending chapters more of less from scratch. I have the original open on my second monitor, and if—and it’s a BIG IF—there is a paragraph or a section that works in both the old and new version, I’ll copy it, but this time, it was almost all new material.

I was happier with what was going on with my heroine. As for the hero, I wasn’t having any trouble with his story, but … where the two characters interacted didn’t work anymore. For most of his chapters, I could make modifications rather than start from scratch.

I’d been very proud of the fact that I’d kept up my chapter summaries on my spreadsheet. But now, other than the first 2 chapters, I had to start over. Doing summaries isn’t my favorite writing chore task, but I finally bit the bullet and worked on the requisite changes. Not as easy as I’d hoped, because as I redid the summaries, I discovered that time had ceased its unidirectional course. Results were happening before causes. Characters were reacting to, or talking about things that hadn’t happened yet.

More fixes.

And then, as I decided I should be noting whose POV each chapter was in (color coding cells comes in handy), I noticed that during the revision process, I’d ended up with two chapters in the same character’s POV. I used to have two POVs in a chapter, but with the trend to readers preferring shorter chapters, I’d switched to making each POV switch its own chapter.

Did it matter? Would readers get confused? Would they even notice? Note: I’m a stickler for establishing the POV character in the first paragraph—preferably in the first sentence—of each chapter, so I didn’t think reader confusion would be an issue. But I’m also anal when it comes to sticking to patterns, so I had to decide how to “fix” it, even if it wasn’t technically “broken.” Could I combine both those chapters into one? Maybe, but then it would be twice as long as all the rest, and anal me doesn’t like that, either.

Does chapter length matter? Back when I was a green newbie at the gig, I belonged to a RWA chapter, and the question of “How long should a chapter be?” came up. One answer was “as long as a cat’s tail,” which translated to “as long as it needs to be.” A recent read had chapters as short as a page and a half, to well over twenty pages. The book was published in 1994, so no telling whether an editor today would have “suggested” more uniform lengths, or would have gone with the “long as it needs to be” approach.

Could I tighten both chapters enough so the length wouldn’t be outside the “norm” for the book? A quick perusal of the text said “nope.” But a closer look gave me a semi-solution. I could reverse chapters 13 and 14, make some adjustments (that time thing again), and then I’d be ready to move into “new” territory.

Not saying it’s all smooth sailing from this point forward, but at least the first 15 chapters are working together. Except for those two characters who showed up. Who are they, and what are they doing here?

What about you, TKZers? Do you strive for something approaching uniformity in chapter structure, or don’t you care?

The floor is open.
TKZ:

Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Deadly Ambitions
Peace in Mapleton doesn’t last. Police Chief Gordon Hepler is already juggling a bitter ex-mayoral candidate who refuses to accept election results and a new council member determined to cut police department’s funding.
Meanwhile, Angie’s long-delayed diner remodel uncovers an old journal, sparking her curiosity about the girl who wrote it. But as she digs for answers, is she uncovering more than she bargained for?
Now, Gordon must untangle political maneuvering, personal grudges, and hidden agendas before danger closes in on the people he loves most.
Deadly Ambitions delivers small-town intrigue, political tension, and page-turning suspense rooted in both history and today’s ambitions.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

A Lighthearted Look at Writing

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A Lighthearted Look at Writing
Terry Odell

I’ve had editing on my mind lately. The process with my editor is I send her my “best I can make it” file, which she returns with her feedback. I make the adjustments as I see fit and send it back.

I’ve just returned my second round of edits, and I’ve also gone through the tedious process of letting my computer read the manuscript to me, which reveals things we’ve both missed. In this phase, it’s less about the story and more about accuracy. The eyes glaze over.

I stumbled across this piece buried in my hard drive. The closest I came to finding its origin was William Safire, Fumblerules: A Lighthearted Guide to Grammar and Good Usage , New York Times, November 4, 1979; later also published in book form. Most sources gave credit to “Anonymous.”

Although the piece is designed to be humorous, the points made are legitimate considerations to make while writing and editing.

How to write English

Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Don’t use contractions in formal writing, and don’t use no double negatives. It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms. Proofread carefully to see if you words out or incorect speling. It has come to our considered attention that in a large majority of cases, far too many people use a great deal more words than is absolutely necessary when engaged in the practice of writing sentences. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of redundant repetition can be removed and eliminated by rereading and editing.

A writer must not shift your point of view. If the writer is considerate of the reader, he won’t have a problem with ambiguous sentences. Don’t write a run-on sentence its hard to read you must punctuate it. If a dependent clause precedes an independent clause put a comma after the dependent clause. But avoid commas, that are not necessary, and don’t overuse exclamation marks!!! Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed. In statements involving two word phrases, make an all out effort to use hyphens, but make sure you hyp- henate properly.

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Always pick on the correct idiom. Avoid colloquial stuff, and trendy locutions that sound flaky. Also, avoid all awkward or affected alliteration. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity, and avoid the utilization of enlarged words when shortened ones will do. Avoidification of neologisms strengthenifies your prosification. Avoid using sesquipedalian words. It is not resultful to transform one part of speech into another by prefixing, suffixing, or other alterings. Perform a functional iterative analysis on your work to root out third generation transitional buzz words. Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck into the language. The de facto use of foreign phrases vis-a-vis plain English in your written tete-a-tetes makes the sentence harder to understand.

Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Write all adverbial forms correct. Verbs has to agree with their subjects, and the adverb always follows the verb. This sentence no verb. Which is not a complete sentence, but merely a subordinate clause. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

Last but not least, avoid dyed-in-the-wool cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

OK, TKZers. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break, right?

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Deadly Ambitions
Peace in Mapleton doesn’t last. Police Chief Gordon Hepler is already juggling a bitter ex-mayoral candidate who refuses to accept election results and a new council member determined to cut police department’s funding.
Meanwhile, Angie’s long-delayed diner remodel uncovers an old journal, sparking her curiosity about the girl who wrote it. But as she digs for answers, is she uncovering more than she bargained for?
Now, Gordon must untangle political maneuvering, personal grudges, and hidden agendas before danger closes in on the people he loves most.
Deadly Ambitions delivers small-town intrigue, political tension, and page-turning suspense rooted in both history and today’s ambitions.

Preorder now

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

Finished the Draft. Now What?

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Finished the Draft. Now What?
Terry Odell

marked up manuscript printed in 2 columns

Since my last post, I reached “the end” of the current manuscript. Yippee! Of course, now the real “fun” begins. Editing. Previously, I’ve talked about how I attempt to fool my brain with printing the manuscript in columns and in a different font. You can find that post here. That’s what I’ll be doing for the next several weeks before sending it off to my editor.

One thing I’m super happy about is that I found a title. I know some authors can’t start writing without one. For me, it’s usually the last thing I come up with. I can think of only two exceptions. What’s In A Name? got its title when I was forced to fill out an entry sheet for a RWA chapter contest. There was this big, blank line that said “Title.” The title was almost a placeholder, but I realized that it actually fit the story. Subconscious at work? Maybe. Probably.

The other one was Starting Over which is exactly what I was doing. It wasn’t so much a name of the manuscript, but rather the name I gave the folder in my computer where I would be saving drafts, chapters, notes, etc. The title worked, for the book, too, as it turned out.

When rights reverted, indie publishing still wasn’t a thing, so I approached another publisher. They accepted it, but didn’t want the same title, so it became Nowhere to Hide, which I kept when rights from that publisher reverted to me.

What was I talking about? Right. The new book and its title. It’s part of my Mapleton Mystery series, and the pattern for titles throughout has been a two-word title, the first word being “Deadly.” You’d think coming up with one word would be easy. Ha! Not for me.

Since I had finished the draft, I had some idea of a theme (I don’t think of those when I start, either). It came to me. Deadly Ambitions. It worked, my writing buddy liked it, and my editor liked it.

That puts me one step closer to publication.

But first, I have to whip this draft into shape.

We talk about first pages a lot here at TKZ. They’re important. Very important. It’s been months since I’ve written my first chapter, and there were changes as there always are when I’m starting a new book. Am I starting in the wrong place? Am I info dumping? Will it entice new readers to keep going? (The current wip is the 9th novel, and the 12th work in my Mapleton mystery series.) I write them so they can be read as stand alones, but there’s always the temptation to make sure new readers don’t feel confused when I introduce recurring characters. I know that bugs the heck out of me, which is the main reason I prefer to start with book one in a series. JSB is always saying readers will wait for answers, but how long?

My Mapleton books are small town police procedurals. Sort of. I’ve had reviewers comment that there’s a “cozy feel” to them. But they definitely do not fit the rules/guidelines/expectations of a cozy.

When I’m reading, I like seeing the off-the-job side of my protagonist. Through the series, Gordon has dated, become engaged, married, and is now at the “newlywed phase is starting to wear off” point. Angie, his girlfriend-fiancé-wife has been with him in some capacity since book one.

My dilemma, as is frequently the case, is how much page time she gets, along with how much page time Daily Bread, the diner she runs, gets. Are readers going to want to skim those scenes to get back to the Cop Stuff and Chief Stuff Gordon has to deal with? In the current book, she’s playing a significant role and is personally involved in one of Gordon’s cases. (No spoilers.) She’s part of the opening scene, but is it too much? Not enough? I’ll pose that question to you, TKZers.

These were the opening paragraphs in my first draft.

Gordon Hepler, Mapleton, Colorado’s Chief of Police, moseyed over to Jerry Illingsworth, newly elected mayor of the city. This was Jerry’s night, and it was in full swing. The event room at the Community Center was filled with his supporters, all enjoying the food and drink.

Angie, his wife, was in charge of the food, and she’d done a great job, deviating from the usual fare at Daily Bread. Jerry had requested something more upscale, and she’d been happy to comply, especially since her restaurant was closed for remodeling. The extra work provided much needed income.

Gordon snagged a shrimp-topped canape—Angie’s term. Gordon called them nibbles—from a passing server. The group around Jerry wandered off, and Gordon moved in to congratulate the new mayor.

“Would it be inappropriate for me to say It’s about time?” Jerry gave a quiet laugh. “Three recounts before Nelson Manning accepted—reluctantly is too kind a word—defeat.”

When I started my edits, I thought I’d devoted too much ‘dumping’ of who Angie was and her role, so I tightened it to this. (Only the second paragraph was changed.)

Gordon Hepler, Mapleton, Colorado’s Chief of Police, moseyed over to Jerry Illingsworth, newly elected mayor of the city. This was Jerry’s night, and it was in full swing. The event room at the Community Center was filled with his supporters, all enjoying the food and drink.

Gordon snagged a shrimp-topped canape—his wife Angie’s term—from a passing server. She was the chef, so she would know. Gordon called them nibbles. The group around Jerry wandered off, and Gordon moved in to congratulate the new mayor.

“Would it be inappropriate for me to say It’s about time?” Jerry gave a quiet laugh. “Three recounts before Nelson Manning accepted—reluctantly is too kind a word—defeat.”

What’s your take? Too much? Too little?

~~~~~

woman pouring a smoked Manhattan into a glassOh, and for those of you who are interested in my images from our anniversary getaway last month, you can find them here.

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Danger Abroad

When breaking family ties is the only option.

Madison Westfield has information that could short-circuit her politician father’s campaign for governor. But he’s family. Although he was a father more in word than deed, she changes her identity and leaves the country rather than blow the whistle.

Blackthorne, Inc. taps Security and Investigations staffer, Logan Bolt, to track down Madison Westfield. When he finds her in the Faroe Islands, her story doesn’t match the one her father told Blackthorne. The investigation assignment quickly switches to personal protection for Madison.

Soon, they’re involved with a drug ring and a kidnapping attempt. Will working together put them in more danger? Can a budding relationship survive the dangers they encounter?

Available now.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Triple-D Ranch bundle. All four novels for one low price. One stop shopping here.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

The Book of Proverbs & Self-Editing for Fiction Writers

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Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience. —Miguel de Cervantes

* * *

Note: This blog post was taken from one I posted on my own blog in 2019.

* * *

Every morning I sit down with my bowl of oatmeal and cup of coffee and read a chapter in the Book of Proverbs. I’ve been doing this for a very long time — so long, I can’t remember when I started or where I got the idea.

Now, I’m all about doing things the easy way, so since there are thirty-one chapters in Proverbs, I read the chapter whose number corresponds with the date. Therefore, I go through the entire book each month. (Okay, chapter 31 doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves, but it’s still a pretty good system.)

The thing about the Book of Proverbs that interests me is the wealth of wisdom found in its pages. Practical wisdom. A soul-searching, character-changing experience in less than five minutes every morning.

 “Good sense makes one slow to anger,
    and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” – Proverbs 19:11

 “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches” – Proverbs 22:1a

 “Pride goes before destruction,
    and a haughty spirit before a fall.” – Proverbs 16:18

 “A dishonest man spreads strife,
    and a whisperer separates close friends.” – Proverbs 16:28

I could go on, but you get the idea. The Book of Proverbs is surely self-editing for the soul.

* * *

I may not remember exactly when I started reading the Proverbs every morning, but I remember precisely where I was when I first heard about Self-editing for Fiction Writers. I was attending a panel discussion for new authors at my first writers conference (Killer Nashville 2017.) The subject was how to improve your writing, and one of the speakers said the book Self-editing for Fiction Writers was an essential addition to any writer’s library. So I bought a copy and started reading.

Talk about practical wisdom!

“To write exposition at length … is to engage your readers’ intellects. What you want to do is to engage their emotions.” – Chapter One, “Show and Tell”

“When you make the point of view clear at the beginning of a scene, you get your readers involved right away and let them get used to inhabiting your viewpoint character’s head.” – Chapter Three, “Point of View”

“Don’t open a paragraph of dialogue with the speaker attribution. Instead, start a paragraph with dialogue and place the speaker attribution at the first natural break in the first sentence.” — Chapter Five, “Dialogue Mechanics”

“The greatest advantage of self-editing … is the kind of attention you have to pay to your own work while you’re doing the self-editing. It demands that you revise again and again until what you’ve written rings true. Until you can believe it.” – Chapter Twelve, “Voice”

This was the kind of advice I needed to self-edit my manuscript before I sent it off to a professional editor.

* * *

So TKZers: What proverb about writing has helped you? What books do you turn to in order to study the craft? What writing conferences have influenced you the most?

 

Reen Penterson is determined to find a treasure hidden by the mysterious Mr. Shadow so she’ll become rich and famous and won’t have to go to school anymore. Her father wisely advises her to think about Proverbs 30:8.

EBOOK ON SALE NOW: 99¢ on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, and Apple Books.

 

Taking Criticism

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Recently, I was the subject of a silent auction at a writers conference. The item was a detailed critique of the first 3k words of a novel. The winner sent me her pages and I spent considerable time with comments, suggested edits, and ways to improve.

You never know how someone will take constructive criticism. In my email, I told her not to get discouraged, and that early on in my career I had a brilliant editor who was known for his lengthy, single-spaced editorial letters. Whenever I got one of these I placed it, unopened, on the corner of my desk, and circled around it for a couple of days. I knew there would be ample work to do.

And every time I did the work I came out a better writer.

So when I didn’t hear back from this writer, I wondered if I’d discouraged her. I was about to write her a follow-up email when hers arrived. It read:

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Your notes throughout provide me with so much I can improve upon. I will keep at it! I am so thankful for you. Thank you for your time spent!

I wrote back and told her, “Now that is the response of a true writer.” Because to my mind, a true writer wants to get better and sees criticism not as an assault but as an ally. That’s the value of a trusted editor or beta reader (see Brother Gilstrap’s recent post and my comment therein).

Of course, not all criticism is constructive; indeed, these days, it’s likely not criticism at all—it’s an eruption of bile directed at the author for some insular and dyspeptic reason. These diatribes are not offered to help a writer, but rather to make the writer feel like this:

I’ve never learned anything from a nasty, negative review. So I don’t read them. (I’ll read good reviews from time to time as a little shot in the arm, perhaps not the best metaphor these days, but there you are.)

Writers worth their salt (an idiom that goes back to how ancient Roman soldiers were paid) seek feedback on a manuscript. Not just to catch obvious errors, which we all make, but to spotlight areas for improvement. It’s up to the author what to do with those notes.

A few suggestions:

1. Find good feedbackers. We’ve talked about editors and beta readers a lot here at TKZ. How to find the good ones is a matter of research, trial, and culling. There are many experienced freelance editors out there. Check their background and client lists. I’ve heard good things about Reedsy. Try gathering some beta readers and cull the list to settle on one or two of the best. When you have those, shoot them some moolah for future critiques.

2. Be objective. To the extent you can, look at the suggestions as if you were a disinterested third party. Some things are worth fighting for, but not if you have a chip on your shoulder.

3. Listen, but remain true to your vision. There’s a famous story about Bennett Cerf, a legendary editor for Random House, suggesting edits to Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. She took a puff on her cigarette and said, “You would not cut zee Bible, would you?” No shrinking violet, Ayn. She won, and Atlas Shrugged still sells tens of thousands of copies a year. When you reach that level, maybe you can say the same thing. Until then, listen, assess, use what is helpful while, at the same time, keep the vision of your book intact.

You’re in this to write books not just for yourself, but in hopes of connecting with readers and turning those readers into fans. If you want to write just for yourself or, heaven forfend, let AI write for you, and throw stuff out there to see if anything sticks, well, it’s not illegal, just ill informed, ill fated, and will probably make most readers ill, too.

But if you want to keep getting better at your craft, form a plan to get helpful criticism. And ignore angry people with a shoe in their hand.

Agree or disagree? Have at it in the comments.

What Makes a Book Good?

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What Makes a Book Good?
Terry Odell

woman in front of library shelves reading a book.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

It’s done. But not really. Yes, I reached “the end” of the manuscript, which is a major part of the writing process. I wrapped it up at around 76,500 words.

Now what? I have 16 days before I have to send it to my editor. I print it in my ‘fool the eye’ (and save paper) format. Different font, single-spaced, two columns, print on both sides of the paper. I also have my board of sticky notes to go through.

lined paper with blue writingAnd I really created extra work for myself this time around, because I didn’t write chapter summaries and time stamps as I finished each chapter. My bad. So, as I’m reading and marking up my printouts—and adding more sticky notes as I run across things that need elaboration or deleting—I’m also writing my chapter summaries. Longhand. I hope I can read them when the time comes!

But getting ready to deliver the best manuscript I can to my editor always makes me wonder if it will be good enough. Will she send it back after three chapters and say it’s not going to work? Or will she say it’ll work if you change your characters, move the setting, cut this thread, add another one. All of which made me think about what makes a book good. Eventually, it’s in the hands, eyes, or ears of the reader. Which then led me to thinking about a recent read. I’m not mentioning title or author, or the overall story, because I don’t think it’s fair to the author, and that’s not the point of this post.

I belong to a neighborhood book club. To pick what we read, each month, someone suggests about 4 books, we vote, and majority rules. The vast majority of the selections are not what I’d choose on my own, but I have found some books I’m glad I read. A couple, I’ve even bought to add to my bookshelves. (Mostly, I get the books from the library—yay libraries—because I don’t like spending money on something I’m not likely to keep.)

Usually, the books would be categorized as literary, women’s fiction, or—who knew this was a genre classification?—book club books.

This month’s read had me befuddled. It was classified as a mystery/thriller/crime novel in reviews, so I thought I’d like it. It came in at almost 500 pages, and at least 300 of them were superfluous. I finished it, because I kept waiting for it to live up to the bazillion accolades and awards from sites like the New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Public Library, Washinton Post, Boston Globe, NPR … the list goes on.

I went to Amazon. The book ranks in the top 25 in the overall Amazon store. Not too shabby. I scrolled down to see what readers thought. What I generally do when I look at reader reviews is zero in on the 3 stars and under to see what people didn’t like about the book. For this book, the feedback from those matched my thoughts perfectly.

I’ve already returned the book to the library, so I can’t go back and count the POV characters, but I’d estimate at least 10. If not that many, it sure felt like it. There was one I sort of liked. The others weren’t worth the ink on the page as far as I was concerned. Nothing to like about any of them.

Then there was the overall structure. Some POVs were written in 1st person, others in 3rd. I don’t think there was a JSB ‘mirror moment’ for any of them. If so, it was buried so deeply that I never noticed.

Chronology? The book covered several decades in time. The author had a list of the decades/years as chapter headers, and the “now” for that chapter was in bold. (I confess, it took me a while to figure that out, and even if I had, my brain couldn’t put things in chronological order to keep track of the story. I’m a linear writer and reader.) If you could keep things straight and remember them, you could follow character arcs, but I don’t want to work that hard when I’m reading fiction. Or take notes.

Overall, I got to the end—which wrapped things up, but seemed silly and contrived. Book club meets next week, and I’ll be curious to see whether anyone else was bothered by the same things I was. The writing was fine. The overall story, had it been written in a more linear fashion, with fewer POV characters (and pages!), was fine. But the book, to me, was anything but fine.

Which, in the end, reminds me that not everyone likes every book, and once mine is the best it can be, I should let it go and move on.

What about you, TKXers. What turns you off in a book that others say is fantastic?

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Double Intrigue
When your dream assignment turns into more than you bargained for
Cover of Double Intrigue, an International Romantic Suspense by Terry Odell Shalah Kennedy has dreams of becoming a senior travel advisor—one who actually gets to travel. Her big break comes when the agency’s “Golden Girl” is hospitalized and Shalah is sent on a Danube River cruise in her place. She’s the only advisor in the agency with a knowledge of photography, and she’s determined to get stunning images for the agency’s website.
Aleksy Jakes wants out. He’s been working for an unscrupulous taskmaster in Prague, and he’s had enough. When he spots one of his coworkers in a Prague hotel restaurant, he’s shocked to discover she’s not who he thought she was.
As Shalah and Aleksy cruise along the Danube, the simple excursion soon becomes an adventure neither of them imagined.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Mapleton Bundle. Books 4, 5, and 6 for one low price.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

Writing Things Right

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Writing Things Right
Terry Odell

My second cataract surgery was yesterday, and if everything went as smoothly as the first one did, I should be around to respond to comments.

I’m not a fan of the old “Write What You Know,” mostly because if I followed that guideline, I’d bore my readers (and myself) to death. “Write What You Can Learn” always made more sense to me.

The problem arises when you’re clueless that you don’t know something and merrily write along, enjoying the story.

Hint: Readers don’t like inaccuracies.

In Finding Sarah, I needed a way to keep her from doing the obvious—taking the bad guy’s car keys and driving away after she bonked him on the head. I gave the car a manual transmission, and parked it headed against a tree. Pretty clever, right?  A wise critique partner told me that the Highlander I’d chosen for the vehicle (inside nod to my writing beginnings) didn’t come with a manual transmission. I had no idea you couldn’t get every car in whatever configuration you wanted.

Then there are the gun people.

Robert Crais made the unforgiveable “thumbed the safety off the Glock” error in a book, and I asked him if readers gave him flak about it. His response? “Every. Damn. Day.”

John Sandford had the same issue once when he’d been using the term “pistol” and decided he wanted to get specific, so he changed it to a Glock, not realizing he’d already had a character releasing the safety. His response? “It was an after-market addition.”

I know darn well I’m clueless about weaponry, so I do my homework before arming my characters.

What about other areas? The current manuscript, Deadly Adversaries, seemed to be throwing roadblocks every time I wrote a scene. Wanting to make sure what I’d written was at least plausible, I asked my specialist sources.

***Note. It’s important to rely on reliable sources if you want to get things right. As Dr. Doug Lyle said in a webinar: Google something you know a lot about, and see how many different explanations you get. The internet can be helpful, but don’t take it as gospel.

Sometimes solutions are easy. If I have a fight scene, I give my martial arts daughter the basics, letting her know who’s fighting, who’s supposed to win, if anyone’s injured, etc. She comes back with the basic choreography and I put it into prose.

Sometimes solutions are not quite so easy. I had a great scenario for immobilizing my victims. I ran it by my medical consultant, and he said, Nothing is impossible but this is as close as it gets. The drug would have to absorb through the skin in very small doses and very quickly. Cyanide and sodium azide can do that but they are both deadly—very quickly. I’d find another way to incapacitate your character.

Back to the drawing board.

In my Blackthorne, Inc. series, which center around a totally made up high-end security and covert ops company, I can give my characters technology, equipment, and just about anything else they need. In and out like the wind is their motto. The scope of plausibility is wide.

Not so with my Mapleton books. They’re contemporary police procedurals at heart, and I want them to be as accurate as possible. To this end, I ran a couple of scenes by my cop consultant. He told me my headlight fragments probably weren’t going to help the cops identify the vehicle involved. Okay, I could work around that.

The next question was about my cops questioning someone in jail. Eye opener here. After some what if this’s and what about that’’? the bottom line: usually what you get at the time of the arrest is the last bite at the apple. So, the information I needed my cops to discover had to come from someone else instead of going to the jail to interview him after he was arrested.

Back to the drawing board again.

The biggest—and most troublesome—stumbling block in this book was that the story played out in numerous jurisdictions. I couldn’t have my cops go to their suspects, or even witnesses, without a local LEO along, or at least notified.

Once they knock on the character’s door, they’re just civilians. Outside of their jurisdiction, they’re not cops. What I’d written was just plain wrong and my decent, play by the rules Mapleton cops would never have done it. If they had, they could have been charged with false imprisonment.

So much for my exciting climactic scene! It would be nothing but paperwork and judges and extraditions. Nothing edge-of-the-seat in those scenarios.

As my cop friend put it, Funny how most people don’t get how complicated the laws make everything.

I went back to the drawing board a lot on these scenes.

By the time we’d had dozens of back-and-forths, and I’d reached a plausible, “that could work” resolution, he said:

I’m laughing. You try to do it right. See how boring Hollywood would have been it they had to keep within that pesky Constitution. It stood in my way many times.

What about you, TKZers? How do you make sure you get things right? Have you ever not realized you thought you knew something and then found out you didn’t? Do you write first, fix later, or research first? Or ignore the issue altogether–it’s fiction, after all.

Cover image of Deadly Relations by Terry OdellAvailable Now
Deadly Relations.
Nothing Ever Happens in Mapleton … Until it Does
Gordon Hepler, Mapleton, Colorado’s Police Chief, is called away from a quiet Sunday with his wife to an emergency situation at the home he’s planning to sell. A man has chained himself to the front porch, threatening to set off an explosive.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

ProWritingAid Premium How-To

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Terry’s last post spurred spawned this one. With many editing softwares available, it’s difficult to decide on the one that will work for you. I use ProWritingAid Premium, though like Terry, I take the advice that resonates and ignore what doesn’t. The worst thing a writer can do is to depend on automated software to do all the heavy lifting, or it’ll strip out your voice and style choices. The nice part of ProWritingAid is its ability to learn. The more you use it, the less it flags nit-picky things. You can also tell it not to check for certain things.

For example, I include quotes with some chapter headings as a subtle POV signal to the reader. Only one character has quotes in his chapter headings. Every single time, ProWritingAid flags the quotation marks for not being closed at the end of each line, even if it’s mid-quote. I don’t want to tell the software to ignore the quote rule or it won’t catch places in the narrative where I may have forgotten the end quote. See what I’m sayin’? Be careful of which rules you set to ignore. You may need that second pair of eyes later.

Whether you use the free or paid version, the first step is to download the software (available for Mac or PC). Once the software downloads directly into MS Word, it’ll add a new button to the top ribbon. Also available for Google Docs, Scrivener (desktop), or as an extension for Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.

Here’s what it looks like in Word.

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When you want to use the software, click the button. Easy peasy. If you don’t want to download the software, you can use the app instead, which opens in a new tab/window. In the app, you’ll have to upload a doc. When downloaded to Word, the software will read whatever document you’re in.

Once you open the software, click the dropdown menu. Since I write thrillers, I keep it set to Thriller, but you can choose any genre of fiction, formal or business writing, other nonfiction, or even email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After PWA processes the document, it’ll show you suggestions for improvement.

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Because I’m using the software as I write this post, it’s showing suggestions for all of it. LOL

If I click the first suggestion, it looks like this…

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The program didn’t like the spaces between ProWritingAid, so I accepted the revision by clicking the highlighted suggestion. Boom — it corrected the spelling for me. The next suggestion was “nice” in the opening paragraph of this post. I clicked “ignore,” but check out the alternatives…

 

 

 

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Let’s move on to fiction… For this post, I pasted a few paragraphs from the WIP. Keep in mind, I’m in the drafting stage. 😉

A gunshot coiled through the dark forest, and he ducked, the bullet sailing over him. Not that I could pinpoint something that small, but it sure didn’t hit him. Before the scumbag had time to fire a second shot, Mr. Mayhem dove on top of him, tackling him, wrestling in the dirt, arms, legs, and fists flailing.

My breath stalled somewhere in my chest. Where’s the third guy?

Through the binoculars, I scanned left.

The software suggested I add “the” before “left,” but it reads fine without it. If my editor suggests the same, then maybe I’ll change it.

No beam of light. I swung the binoculars to the right. No light-beams. Where the hell did he go? Once I lowered the binoculars, my blood turned to slush. Camouflage boots clomped through thick underbrush—twenty feet from the oak tree!—a sawed-off shotgun rested on linebacker shoulders. Behind him, Poe emerged, divebombing the intruder, crow feet stomping on his head.

 

PWA caught the missing hyphen in dive-bombing. I accepted the change by clicking the green highlighted area. (click to enlarge)

 

 

The mobbing technique allowed me enough time to climb down, Shicheii’s quiver slung on my back, his bow held tight in my hand.

Shicheii means maternal grandfather in Diné, so I added his name to dictionary like this..

 

 

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At fifteen feet away, I stopped, reached behind me, and slid out an arrow. Aimed low to avoid Poe. Fired. The razor-tipped arrow sailed through the air, striking the scumbag in the thigh.

Shoot. Missed my mark.

I reloaded. Aimed a scooch higher. And fired. This time, the arrow zipped right past him, missing his hip by an inch, maybe two.

Since scooch is a word, and it’s spelled correctly, I added it to dictionary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Screw this.” I dropped the bow, squirmed my arms out of the quiver straps, and charged straight at him, bellowing a deep, raspy roar, my voice coiling through the trees, boomeranging right back as I lunged at him.

Arms spread like wings, I flew through the air without considering the consequences. If he raised that shotgun, he could kill me. Didn’t matter. Everything within me screamed for me to protect my family, and sheer animalistic instinct took over. I landed on his chest, and we both tumbled backward. 

I ignored the suggestion to remove “through the air” after “flew” because it doesn’t sound right to my ear.

Here’s where you need to be careful. Don’t accept that the software knows better than you. Since this is an early draft, I’ll probably end up rewriting the sentence to use swan-dive instead of flew (paints a better picture), but that’s irrelevant. The point is, question every change to remain true to your voice, your style.

While straddling his hips, I threw a mean right hook, sucker-punched him—almost broke my friggin’ knuckles on his blocky nose—and I swear he laughed. Over and over, I hammered his face in rapid succession, first the right, then left, alternating between the two to keep him off-balance.

“Who’s laughing now, asshole?”

Probably shouldn’t’ve gotten cocky, because he muscled me onto my back. Drilled me in the right temple with his fist, and tiny specks of bright, white light danced before my eyes. That only pissed me off more, and I chomped down on his forearm, my teeth sinking into his flesh.

 

Valid suggestion, PWA. The comma is unnecessary after “bright.”

 

<– At the bottom of that pane, it says Open Full Editor.

When I click that button, it opens in a new window.

 

 

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Notice the side column. I’ll scroll through for you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything looks good, except dialogue tags. But I don’t have any dialogue tags in the excerpt. Hmm, let’s see what it says by clicking the dialogue box in the top-right corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, it’s just explaining why “said” and “asked” are best to use. Not sure why it says 100% in the negative. There are no dialogue tags. Perhaps that’s why. See what I mean about not blindly trusting editing software? You—the writer—need to weigh each suggestion. If it works, accept the change. If it doesn’t, ignore and move on. Your human editor should flag it again if there’s a problem.

Now, if you’re just beginning your writing journey, click each dialogue box for a full explanation of why to remove things like weak adverbs from your writing.

Here’s what it says under “Weak Adverbs”:

 

 

 

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Check out the top ribbon of the full editor. You can tell the software to search for anything. Overused Words, anyone? We’re all guilty of littering the first draft with crutch words.

 

 

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Check out the Thesaurus. Not only does it tell you how many nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs the document has, but look at all the suggestions it offers for the word “different”.

 

 

 

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This software checks for everything, from sticky sentences, homonyms, echoes, and alliterations, to structure, pacing, and a visual representation of sentence length. Seriously, you could spend hours dissecting your prose. I don’t, but if you’re just learning the craft of writing, spending time learning the basics is time well-spent. I love ProWritingAid Premium because it catches typos, commas, grammatical errors, awkward sentences and/or phrases, or clunky words written when your soul’s on fire and your fingers are sailing across the keyboard. You know what I’m talkin’ about, that sheer passionate writing that made so much sense in the moment, but in the cold light of day, needs tweaking.

Let’s talk about money for a minute. I pay yearly, but they also have monthly plans. I buy yearly plans at Christmastime, because it’s, like, $60 compared to $120 ($10/mo). Or try the free version first. There are some limitations to the free plan. You can only upload five or six chapters at a time, rather than uploading an entire 90K word novel, and you won’t have access to everything in the Full Editor ribbon. But at least it’ll give you the feel of how it works. I’ve used Grammarly, too, and ProWritingAid offers a lot more bang for your buck, IMO.

So, that’s a sampling of ProWritingAid Premium. Hope you found it useful! Do you use editing software? If so, which one?

 

Surgery for the Manuscript

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Surgery for the Manuscript
Terry Odell

I hit “The End” on the current WIP, which is really “The Beginning.” James Scott Bell talked about getting rid of mosquitos in his recent post. To continue with his analogy (it was an analogy, wasn’t it?) Sometimes you’re getting rid of angry wasps, and sometimes it’s annoying gnats.

I prefer thinking in surgical terms when I tackle my draft. First, the major medical. The current manuscript came in longer than I wanted. Although I firmly believe that a story should be as long as it needs to be, the operative word is needs, and I check to make sure that every scene pulls its weight and advances the story. I confess that as a non-plotter, I often find things that never got followed up on, or were just fun scenes to write. If they don’t connect to the overall story, they get cut.

  • Purely practical note. At Amazon, for books priced for the 70% royalty option, there’s a “delivery fee” for ebooks based on file size. Longer books, bigger cut for them. Example: for my three-book box sets, they slice from 25 to 27 cents per book. They take about a dime from my “normal” length books. For those who go wide, B&N, Kobo, and Smashwords don’t have these fees. D2D keeps about 10% regardless of book length.
  • In print, the cost to produce the book via KDP is based on page count. More pages, bigger cut. I don’t sell enough print books to check out the other distributors, so I can’t speak for them.
  • If you’re going to produce the book in audio and pay a narrator, the longer the book, the greater the cost.

These, to me, justify excising ugly fat. If you want more advice from the real experts, Ruth Harris has an excellent summary. Check this out.

Back to cutting plot threads. Should be easy, right? Patient has appendicitis, you cut out the appendix. In the manuscript, you find the threads that don’t need to be there and remove them.

Trouble is, threads don’t exist in nice, tidy packages. There will be places where you’ve foreshadowed, places where you’ve followed up, and places where you’ve made a reference, almost in passing, to something that happened in that now defunct thread.

Example: One thread I’d decided wasn’t necessary (even though it created conflict and tension) related to the character finding an earring in the pasture. How did it get there? Who dropped it? Could it belong to the cattle rustler? I set things up by having my hero spot similar earrings on the heroine and asking where she got them which led down a path I decided was no longer needed. I had enough other mystery threads to be solved. The entire scene had to be revised. (And it was at a restaurant, JSB.) If that patient’s appendix burst, the surgeon wants to remove all traces of infection. In the manuscript, I have to make sure I’ve removed all references to this “earring thread.” It showed up in several more chapters, and cutting them leads to more problems.

A tip: Watch your transitions. It’s more than likely the scene before the one you cut led into it. That will have to be adjusted. Likewise the one after it. If you ended the scene with a page-turning cliff hanger, that cliffhanger now sends readers into an abyss with no bottom.

Another example came from removing a simple piece of stage business. My characters love coffee, and they were often (too often?) brewing, pouring, sipping. In the scene in question, the characters were dealing with a suspicious package purportedly delivered by FedEx, and the heroine offered to make coffee while they worked. Yet another coffee-making scene. Didn’t add enough to justify the extra words, so I deleted it:

“There’s time for coffee. Want some?”
Figuring the simple task might take her mind off what she was dealing with, he said yes.
As she went through the process of water, filter, and grounds, he mulled over what had gone on.

But now, since they had coffee, there were more references throughout the scene (and more) that had to go: carrying the mugs upstairs, bringing them down and washing them, leaving the half-empty pot for the house-sitter and … having the hero taste like coffee when they kissed. The kiss was important, but he couldn’t taste like coffee anymore. None of these references went on for more than a sentence—a paragraph at most. Often they were simply action beats. But if you want the patient to recover, you have to make sure there are no sponges or instruments left behind when you close him up.

Deleting a paragraph can create a dominoes effect. Watch what happens right before and after, and smooth out the edges. Critique partners, beta readers, and editors are helpful here, because they haven’t read the manuscript seventy-eleven times.

Moving on to the gnats, or doing the minor and microsurgery.

Words that don’t add anything to the story need to go. They might even add distance, keeping a layer you don’t want between your readers and the characters. Or, there might be awkward bits.

I’ve talked about using SmartEdit before. It’s great for finding those pesky adverbs, repeated words and phrases, and another source of extra words: redundancies.

As with any automated program, you have to review every “suggestion” it makes. These programs don’t write genre fiction. SmartEdit suggests possible redundancies. I’ve run chapters and scenes through Grammarly as well, and find the same problem. Many of their suggestions don’t apply in context. However, they deserve a second look. Fortunately both programs show you where each “offense” occurs, so you can move through the manuscript quickly. Some examples:

  • Outside of
  • Whether or not
  • Start off
  • Ask a question
  • Started out
  • Advance warning
  • Off of
  • Open up
  • Shut down
  • Temper tantrum
  • Major breakthrough
  • Basic essentials
  • Stand up
  • Fall down
  • Advance notice
  • Burning embers
  • Shrug a shoulder

I remember my high school Latin teacher complaining about advertising wording. “From its earliest beginnings to its final completion.” Or “Free gift.” He also said “up” is an overused word, which I talked about in an earlier post. I’ll never forget class clown Leon saying, “So what’s the bank robber supposed to say? This is a stick?”

Then there are the clunkers. Sometimes the eye catches them, but having Word (or your program of choice) read the book aloud to you will help you find them.

Example from the current wip: A woman was busy decorating a wooden wall hanging made from pieces of weathered wood.

Duh. Do I need to use the word wood twice? Wouldn’t the same information get across more efficiently as A woman was busy decorating a wall hanging made from weathered wood.  Do I even need “was busy”? Can it be A woman decorated a wall hanging made from weathered wood?

Listening calls attention to repeated words. Plus, you can hear words that aren’t really repeats, but echoes, such as this passage I discovered:

His mouth dropped. “You’re saying you’re going to wash my clothes?”
She sighed. “Apparently.”
It took several heartbeats for his mouth to close….

Did you spot the ‘clunker’? If not, read it out loud.

OK, TKZers: What are your tips for performing surgery on your manuscript?

Trusting Uncertainty by Terry OdellAvailable Now Trusting Uncertainty, Book 10 in the Blackthorne, Inc. series.
You can’t go back and fix the past. Moving on means moving forward.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.” Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.