journalread

Writings and Witterings

Lamb

78 Comments

Cute lambs  5

Back in 2012, over at dVerse, Gay Cannon asked ‘What is modern?’ and also asked us to write a Triversen poem—I guess we all have our own take on what is modern—it seems to me to be a word that is used in many different ways…anyway, here is my Triversen poem, the form was invented by William Carlos Williams.

Now, in 2015, Grace asks us if we have a favorite spring poem to share—so here it is again 🙂

Lamb

At the start of spring sunshine
in May, a clamour occurs,
an ignominious din.

She sees the lambs born
on a cool sunny morn, stumble;
bumble, late in the daylight.

The sun rises at four,
red, ruby, gold glows up high
and christens the new-born babes.

It comes round, it goes around,
it returns on this morning
of joy, of hope, of new lives.

Polly Stretton © 2012

Over at dVerse Poets, Gay had us writing Triversen  in 2012—it’s harder than it looks—go and see for yourself! Republished in 2015 for Grace’s prompt about springtime.

78 thoughts on “Lamb

  1. Victoria C. Slotto's avatar

    Lovely visual that brought to mind an 8-day retreat I spent at a monastery in a countryside in Pennsylvania in many years ago. The ewes were dropping their babies and every time you looked there were more little white dots on the green grass. I’m smiling.

    Like

  2. Gay's avatar

    Very effective use of the form – the implied “agnus dei” lamb of god – the Easter message of joy in resurrection, in new birth, the hope of salvation, the turn of the seasons, and cycle of life – all this is found here. It flows so naturally. The poem lies before us green, scintillating in new light.

    This is a very successful poem. Kudos.

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      It’s a funny thing about form, whilst on the one hand it constrains on the other it frees within those constraints…if you see what I mean…

      Thank you for your comments, Gay, and for a superb prompt.

      Like

    • Gay's avatar

      Second time around I felt the naturalness of the symbolism – which goes beyond faith and redemption but right to life itself. Again, as I say a very successful poem and exquisitely beautiful.

      Like

      • Polly's avatar

        Thank you again, Gay, it means a great deal that you have commented twice especially since it was in response to your prompt 🙂

        Like

  3. brian miller's avatar

    nice…so cool to see new life born…it reminds us of the miracles that are life around us…lovely imagery in this as well..

    Like

  4. aprille's avatar

    Hiya Polly:
    ‘ignominious din”- glorious choice
    I could wax lyrical about.
    This wasn’t easy, was it?
    The lambs around us are getting big and run around in gangs at the minute.

    Like

  5. Polly's avatar

    hah! Aprille, ‘ignominious’ is a wonderful word, I’ve been wanting to use it and it came to me for this poem, I’m sure!

    No, it wasn’t easy 🙂

    Thank you for your comments.

    Like

  6. Susan's avatar

    This is one christening I wold love to see–I mean, I see it in images, and now would like to be transported there. I like the idea of the sun (she) delighting in rebirth!

    Like

  7. Semaphore / Samuel Peralta's avatar

    Always a joy to see a naturalistic poem, as so few writers are adept at it, choosing instead an urban vocabulary.

    Like

  8. Carrie's avatar

    I know little about poetry other than how it makes me feel and how the words move through my brain. Your words glide with a lovely fluidity, igniting all of my senses. For whatever that’s worth. 🙂

    Like

  9. Hanq's avatar

    Love lambs in literature. Like the visual. Great work here.

    Like

  10. charlesmashburn's avatar

    Beautifully vivid write, Polly. I could see it all in glorious living color!

    Like

  11. splkplo's avatar

    Simply beautiful!

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Aw, thanks, Laurie

      Like

      • splkplo's avatar

        I’m glad you showcased this one. Have you thought of submitting it for publication somewhere?

        Like

        • Polly's avatar

          I’m fond of this one, Laurie, but fear I wouldn’t have a clue about where to submit it for publication. I’ve had some poems published in anthologies, so may wait for the next appropriate one of those … I don’t know enough about submitting work / protecting copyright / whether publishers accept blogged work etc, so now I’ve written that perhaps it will make me do something about it.

          Thank you for your interest and kind comments. Any suggestions re the above would be welcome 🙂

          Like

  12. bwarren's avatar

    Lovely… Lambs bring me joy. Thank you for this piece.

    Like

  13. marousia's avatar

    Lovely imagery – new life is always so uplifting

    Like

  14. Lindsay Stanberry-Flynn's avatar

    I enjoyed this, Polly. Like your comment about the constraints/freedom of form – I think that’s true. Constrained emotion is somehow more powerful. Your poem made me look for something on triversen as it’s not a form I’m familiar with and thought you might like this link
    http://thepoetsgarret.com/2011Challenge/form12.html

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Hey-hey, thanks for the comments and the link, Lindsay. Triversen is an interesting form, invented by William Carlos Williams there seem to be a motley assortment of ‘rules’ eg Gay at dVerse says this: ‘Williams adapted to American poetry the syllabic prosody of the haiku and katauta by transmuting it: syllables became stresses; the seventeen syllables of the haiku and the nineteen syllables of the katauta, arranged in three lines of 5-7-5 or 5-7-7 syllables, became a “variable foot,” to use Williams’ terminology, also arranged in three lines.’ So this was the form I tried to stick with, see http://dversepoets.com/2012/06/14/formforall-triversen-an-attempt-to-define-the-modern/ it’s really interesting [if one is interested in form in poetry!]

      Like

  15. SallyJ's avatar

    Lovely Polly – well done. As usual I have come to the dVerse challenge too late, but am going to have a go at this form.

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      It’s an interesting one, Sally. You did a great Triolet recently, but this is a bit different … interesting how many definitions of this form seem to abound (!)

      Like

  16. Serendipity's avatar

    Ahhhh…. 😉

    Like

  17. hedgewitch's avatar

    Vivid, and with a soft emotional edge of rebirth,refreshment and the connection with renewal that the web of nature provides us–liked it much.

    Like

  18. pandamoniumcat's avatar

    I just loved this, the sun christening new born lambs a delightful image… a smile on my face this Saturday morning! 🙂

    Like

  19. John (@bookdreamer)'s avatar

    Lambs and the circle of life – good theme

    Like

  20. hollyannegetspoetic's avatar

    It’s all been said…. Apart from.

    Baaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa….

    Like

  21. Anna's avatar

    An interesting twist and a nice commentary about what constitutes the modern, we tend to be blind to those things outside our narrow conception. It’s great to see form and your conceit working together well.

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Thanks for visiting Anna and for your thoughts 🙂 I love that you see the form and poetic conceit working well, that’s great 🙂

      Like

  22. John (@bookdreamer)'s avatar

    I love this form and come back to it on a regular basis. Nice use of it

    Like

  23. brian miller's avatar

    smiles…this is lovely…the watching of the newly born and being born is a beautiful thing…as is new life…glad you are a part of what we are doing at dverse…

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Aw, thanks Brian – good to see you here the first time and even better the second with such lovely thoughts 🙂

      Really glad to be part of it …

      Like

  24. 1emeraldcity's avatar

    Not to be disrespectful of form, rhyme, meter, etc. I pay attention to what is said and how, rather than the former. I could smell and see everything you write here. There is strong sense of renewal you put forth beautifully. Thank you.

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Thank you for your honesty, I like the words and the way in which they’re used, what is said and how … having said that, sometimes they can be even more effective, tightened somehow, by the constraints / freedom brought about by a particular form.

      Thank you for you thoughts, lovely to have you visit 🙂

      Like

  25. kelly's avatar

    This is wonderful. i know little of form, but this definitely brought William Carlos Williams to mind. Gorgeous imagery.

    Like

  26. darkangelwrites's avatar

    Wish the babies would wait for a warm day around here… no thunderstorms in February are their time of choice.

    Like

  27. clawfish's avatar

    Spring the birth of a new year, fertile sweet smelling thinking of the pleasure of English country lanes seeing the lambs, so many thoughts as it could be birth of thought and creativity love it

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Thoughtful comments for which I thank you so much ~ as I write this I can hear this years group bleating in the field next to our house …

      Like

  28. ManicDdaily's avatar

    Such a pretty poem. Really almost an Easter kind of poem, I thought. Though very naturalistic too, one can feel the stumbling of just-born feet.

    Thanks also for all your kindness, Polly. k.

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      k, thank you for your lovely words, I see what you mean about it being an Easter kind of poem, new birth, lambs, yes, definitely for that time of year. 🙂

      Like

  29. Grace's avatar

    A beautiful share Polly ~ Thanks for linking it with D’verse OLN ~

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Polly's avatar

    Glad it’s OK with you to bring out an oldie, Grace, thanks for the prompt 🙂

    Like

  31. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)'s avatar

    Wonderful Polly, There is nothing that is more spring to me than a newborn lamb….

    Liked by 1 person

  32. billgncs's avatar

    spring and young animals bring joy and smiles

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Polly's avatar

    Joyous little critters jumping and running 😀

    Like

  34. The Course of Our Seasons's avatar

    A wonderful poem filled with the new life of spring – serendipitously, just got a call from my husband driving to a clients home, he saw twin lambs in the field, newly born, is turning around now to stop and photograph!

    Like

  35. Sharp Little Pencil's avatar

    Polly, I have to laugh… I saw the single word in the title and thought for a moment that the poem was going to be about Lamb, the dish… not Lamb, the animal!! And I was filled with dread, because I love those curly little guys and hate to see them end up on a plate.

    My fear diminished with the first line. (yikes…) This is a lovely poem, and I didn’t recognize any particular form, which is a strength, because usually forms are, you know, hanging out by the edges for all to see! None of that nonsense here. It would be paired (as in a wine tasting) with Viv’s ode to Spring published today. Very nicely done, Polly! (Hope you get a laugh…) Amy

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      heh-heh–Amy you made me giggle 🙂 ‘Lamb, the dish’ indeed! ROFL 😀

      Pleased to see your fears were so quickly allayed!

      I have one thing to say to you: ‘mint sauce’! (J for joke)

      x

      Like

  36. katiemiafrederick's avatar

    Yes.. the modern new of now.. is the
    same now of old.. as new is birth
    and yesterday and tomorrow
    is always death
    that cannot
    truly
    exist for now..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Blaine F's avatar

    This is a great blog

    Like

    • Polly's avatar

      Thank you for commenting on ‘Lamb’ – it’s some years old and was the lead poem in my first poetry collection ‘Girl’s Got Rhythm’ published by Black Pear Press 🙂

      Like

Leave a reply