jodeexi.

Dear Friends (and by that i mean miss)

I don't miss home, or you.

college is wonderful

and heather should come visit all the time.

I love my friends here (ie. they are cooler than you)

I miss steph like ANTM misses janice. oh twiggy we love you too

ugh. laundry

<3

Most random (and true) horoscope ever

You would love to go off by yourself to conquer the world, but you need other people's recognition too much and proof of their love for you to get too far away. But because of this you let yourself be influenced by other people, and you let other people take over your personality so much that you begin to give up on yourself. You should realize that you can count on your friends to make up for the absence of your family in your daily life...


going out to play tennis.
t
h
e
n
party with the girls!

♥jodeexi

soo

been hanging out with the usual
steph
fran
miss
jay

spent some time at kellens
+ amanda
+ rachel
+ lauren
+ alissa

watched the notebook with justin
+ danielle
+ kristina
+ olga

had some good mornings with sexton.


life is sweet
♥jodeexi

today has been quite the project.

all day shopping with my mom
brief interlude at amandas
and all day cleaning at night

tommorow
i MUST finish up collage
and wrap things for..well its important that I know who its for

i am quite sad right now and very nostalgic
after being hit with my eigth grade letter I then got rid of all my work from this year except for a few choice papers (and all my calc notes) and now i just got rid of every pair of jeans I've owned since 6th grade. my closet and drawers are empty

i'm empty

which only leaves room to be filled up with a new begining. Hopefully a stronger more independent one.

Ive also had quite the epiphany about god however I think its something quite small but for me it was a big break through..i guess i'm a lil slow..anyways

So i was thinking about praying, and how i've been lacking lately and if God ever answered any of my prayers. And i realized he did..i wont go into the ways but he definitly gave me all the tools necessary and the people to do what i need to to make myself a better person

now i was thinking if these things had come naturally without praying i might have grazed over them and another missed opportunity would have occured. However, since I thought about how these things that God gave me are answers to my prayers (mini miracles if you will) I have much greater appreciation for them and am less likely to take them for granted.

I wonder if thats something everybody knows about God and what he does. I will have to find the courage to ask my God expert.

but for me.. that realization gave me motivation and a much better understanding of believing in God and what it means to have faith.

I think it is impossible to take things for granted if you believe in God because everything you recieve is a blessing.

this doesnt sound like me but it feels so right coming from me. I like this.

back to cleaning. I would love for you to share your thoughts.

coming soon: a discussion about words and their meanings

♥Jodeexi

teaser:

 

( and we will be friends foreverCollapse )

I love the lazy days of summer.

oh and btw. this is not my new look so don't ask me to make a layout for you like this. It was done by spiral bound layouts. I am hoping to use my wonderful HMTL knowledge and see if i can come up with something so that i will be able to make my journal look like this one day.

i have a lot of time now. to sit and think and read and zone out. I'm really enjoying vegging out in front of the tv. I think thats just as important as taking advantage of your life. sometimes letting it pass by without thinking can be helpful too.

so over the summer i'm going to try and not do play by play entries of my day because summer should be more of a philosohpical thing..for me anyway.

the next few weeks are going to be very hard and a testiment to my will and strength.

ive been having more and more public entries..which also means there are more and more private entries. its kinda cool, i feel open enough to let you share in some of my life but i also have the retraint to know when i just need to write for me.

i like it.

there are still a few people who i know read it but i'm trying to put it behind me the best i can and have as much fun. you aren't my problem anymore. i dont want you or your life. there i'm done.

anyways...
i'm working today. my last paycheck from B&B was $34 and was immediatly spent at chevy's with heather. oh jeeez.

i need to go write for a grade.

love,
jodeexi

teaser:

( prom madnessCollapse )

my mom just left so this journal entry is going to seem slightly less rebelious but i'll write anyway.

I think. therefore I am

I want to create beauty. in myself and for others to see. true beauty at its core that is so original no one can question it. I want to write metaphors that make people question their lives about God and the path they have chosen. I want to make people scream in anger, laughter, sadness, for someone to show me a proof of emotion in an inanimate object. don't be the inanimate object. always be animate, alive with passion full of lust. lust for everything; boy and girl and books.

I try to read as many as a I can and write now i'm in between 4
The Four Blondes - Candace Bushnell (author of sex and the city!)
I am not who I am now
The Certificate - Isaac Bashevis Singer (i'm still doing the lit paper..but its a damn good book)
and my favorite
Sex, Drugs and Coco Puffs - by chuck something?

i just started the last one last night. last night was weird..i came home from being out (yes OUT) and ate some dinner and fell asleep at 7. at 11:30 my STUPID MOM opened the door to see if i was still alive. at 12 i went downstairs and watched old infernos and then went on my computer. then i read sex drugs and coco puffs and wanted to scream and fell alseep around 2.

i woke up at 7:30

i want to do something freeing today. i need ideas because ideas are the basis of the world and finding ideas would be freeing in and of itself.

do you see where i'm going with this?

the update you've all been waiting for..PROM WEEKEND.

I had so much more fun that I thought i would. i danced the whole time with everyone. but i guess the actually prom part isnt that interesting...

so right after prom we packed up everything and everyone and went to the Ramada with sexton, mike, bonnie, max, v, karlson, deen and ming. i had some cranberry & vodka and then the shit hit the fan and drama exploded so we left.

drove ALL night. i stayed up with the driver (fran steph amd jay) to keep them awake and company. Had good talks with all of them :). I slept for an hour when jay was driving and when i woke up we passed the exit. so we finally made it to the house and found out we had no key and couldnt get in.

2 hours, 1 breakfast sandwich and a couple of kicked windows later we had finally made it inside. started drinking RIGHT away. it was about 10:00 AM. played spoons and taboo for shots. passed out around 3. woke up and played more cards and then made dinner. after we drank some more played never have I ever (never never have i ever always and forever??) and then went CRAZY. fran and i drank a whole pot of ice tea vodka and clothes got exchanged and everyone got smashed into walls. it was so much fun tho. i eventually passed out on the couch and woke up the next morning with bruises and my legs hurting.

showered went out to breakfast with no gas in the car. saw a bear dog named max. the dog was crazy big and no one seemed to care except me. but it was fucking huge. 168 pound of hairy dog. crazy. breakfast was goood. and we talked to a cute boy who gave us directions to get gas.

went home. played more cards. made some more bbq and then i drank again. we then packed up and made a 5 hour trip home stuck in traffick and rain. we got smiles from some creepy guys but it was a LOT of fun. i saw a bunch of skin. lol.

anyways..block is almost over but this weekend was the best ever. ever ever.

love,
jodeexi

i had such an awesome weekend. lets seee

after movies with heather i stopped by parks lake..but i think a alreayd talked about that.

anyways. the next day i got up and went to shopright and then off the work. I love working at pools. i couldn't vacuum that well but its all good. so i sun tanned and read my magazine for a while and then amanda came for a few hours.

then some people had a bbq and they gave me food which was soo nice cuz amanda ate all my cheez-its. GET YOUR OWN BOX. yeaah

then around 5 christine came and we caught up with our lives and she brought me tea and m&m's. i was so cold by that point. anyways..she helped me close up and then i went home and had delicious dinner with my family.

during dinner my parents were like..we have a suprise for you..
they bought a house in deleware!! like my most favorite place on earth and my second home. I'm so excited..we probably wont be able to stay in it this summer because we have to rent it out to get money but after that its all ours. I cant wait. i haven't been there in like a year and a half and i just love bethany beach so much it totally made my week.

my sister left kinda late so i went right to sleep after. this morning i pulled myself out of bed and then went to lifeguard with AR all day at the JCC. i had fun and then came home and did some beauty treatments..pore cleansing, facials, all that good stuff and watched tv for like 5 hours. it was just what i needed

then like 20 minutes ago Amanda called and was like i'll be outside ure house in 20 seconds get dresesd and come outside. so i went out with her and this kid rob whose really cool for a while. we did crazy stuff but u wont know unless it was done to u :)

so right now i think i'm going to clean a bit and prepare for my week of working all the time.

this was a wonderful memorial day weekend. very productive

love always,
jodeexi