 | |||
|
I don't think we could be. But here: http://community.livejournal.com/steamfashion/701373.html Ironically, we had the same idea. Really, it's quite scary. Great (or perhaps, mad) minds think alike. SO, I'll be there 2 weeks from Saturday. It's exciting though I wish I had a camera. All else fails, I can always sell my 360 and Wii this week, which I wanted to do anyway. Really, I have no use for them anymore. I'd rather have a good camera instead. I take far more photos than I play a system. I'm certain everyone out there wants high-res shots of themselves in amusing poses, photos of my children and such. All for now. -Mateo
|
|||
| |||
|
I got it I got it I GOT IT!!! WEEE!!! They're so awesome! I got the six bottles I ordered Odin, Wilde, Vicomte de Valmont, Danse Macabre, Mad Hatter and De Sade. They smell AMAZING. I can't wait to try them! BUUUUTT I got 12 (yes, 12!!!) Imp's ears too!! So I have like...two weeks of BPAL to try now! WOOO!!! I'm freaking ecstatic. Ok, so the imp's ears are: Burial, Love in Idleness, Dragon's Tears, Amsterdam, Marie, Yemaya, Loralei, Antony, Delphi, Event Horizon, Zorya and Queen Alice. Gah, so much BPAL... I've been practicing my sewing, I've altered three pairs of my old 42s (I'm a 38 which is STILL too big, so I'm going to 36s, and the legs usually require alterations. Curse my short form!) Next up: my big shirts. Then my coats (I have two that require alteration. ) Then on to some items for the varied events. Nothing big, usually alterations. And then: spats! Finally! I just need to get some fabric. The children are well, as always. I really should post the picture from Sam's b-day. I should do that this week. Xavier needs glasses. Nothing big, we knew he would. Samantha will as will. Dammit Dee, why did you have to have vision problems too?! He looks adorable in glasses. I'll definitely post pictures as soon as I take some with him in them.
|
|||
| |||
|
What can I say about Saturday that hasn't been said? It was wonderful. Tiring, but wonderful. We went to the Nat. and walked around. We made jokes (oh my god, they KILLED HIM!) hahaha...oh goodness. There was good conversation with great people to be had, those of you who missed it missed a very nice time. Of course then it was off to Chinatown to eat some dinner, peruse a small shop and view its wares/buy some snacks. Not too much but the tea smelled great. I shall have to buy some at some point. We then went to the Brooklyn Museum for the First Saturday. It was nice, the music was alright but the art. Oh, the art! I now remember we missed about a floor's worth, but what can you do? We only had two hours! It was still great and Megan was incredibly hospitable to allow us all to hang out at her place for a while. Well, for me it was a while I don't know who stayed and fell asleep. On to less cheery matters. So in discussing the divorce Tommy and my mom got into a fight. Of course, he can't just agree and be nice. He was discussing how everyone lies to him and he can't trust anyone. My mom tried to say that I wouldn't lie, that I've been fairly honest. Tommy went on this rant about how I'd only been given two years to finish an A.S. and she replied by trying to say it hadn't been two years yet, it had just been one so far. He got mad and told her to shut up and everything went to shit. Typical. She yelled, he yelled, she left and Samantha was left crying on my bed with me to comfort her. Gabby was a saint and helped by playing with the children as I sat and attempted to eat dinner, which failed as I was no longer hungry. I threw it out two hours later and tried to think of how it turned out like this. So today went well. I got Lisa that damn piece of paperwork so she'd get payed, and I went to class. Nothing with anything except of course. My clinical depression struck again. It tends to do that. I can't stand it and it can't stand me I don't think. For those of you previously unaware, I have clinical depression. I'm sure everyone knows what depression is? Good, well the clinical version is one that subsides and comes back on different levels of severity from just feelin' a bit sad to being so upset you don't even want to leave your bed. It's been a while since I've felt the latter. I know some people will mention medication but I really don't like walking around like a happy zombie. I'd rather feel depressed every now and again. At least then I get a full range. It'll go away eventually.
|
|||
| |||||
|
So I feel incredibly ill. I can't stand being sick, especially virally. Damn virus, being all unable to be treated by antibiotics. I also got my camera back...yes, I got it back. Apparently the lens was jammed and they could fix that..which stinks. Well, it doesn't. I'm really happy to have a camera again, don't get me wrong. I just really wanted to get a DSLR. I mean, I still can it just takes time to save the money for it. I'm grateful to have a camera again, I can't complain. I'm going to lay down now.
|
|||||
| |||
|
Oh so tiring, you weekend. DoV was nice (yes, nice. what?) I spoke to Kate the whole night and hope I didn't bore her to tears. Conversation was great the mainstay of which a decent portion of you know and the rest will discover in time. The NYU steampunk ball. what to say, what to say. It was great. The people were nice if a bit antisocial. As we all were. The food, oh goodness the FOOD! SO much. I got to take home a pizza and a dragon roll. It was good fun, great times and I hope to see all or at least most of them again soon. I has to go sleep. There's more posting coming, I assure you. Who the hell is PrecociousSalmon on AIM? I don't know this person, but they imed me. Now there's only one thing you do when on AIM and you im me. Tell me where you know me from, if I get no answer in the first 5 minutes you get blocked. That's it. Don't fuck with me on aim. I got enough of that I don't need nor want it now.
|
|||
| |||
|
This is really a geographical commentary, but sort of mixing into philosophy and psychology as well. I went to 86 st. today. Here in Brooklyn where I'm staying the week with my mom. She watches the children, I get to go to class and take time to wander about where I choose within a time restriction that she "requests" I be home before or by. Today was 5, allowing me 4 hours of time after class to wander about. I went to the new Atlantic Terminal, formerly a giant gaping hole in downtown Brooklyn. It's nice, full of stores. Essentially a giant mall (I know, like we need one more) It's still nice, and just decent to walk through. I left after an hour and no purchases (go me!) and went to 86. It's nice, and it's changed A LOT since I'd lived here. It's more diverse now. That's a good thing. Asian markets door to door with Spanish, Russian and fresh fish and produce markets. Really diversifying. I mean that. I stepped elbow to elbow with what New York has become so famous for over the past two centuries. People close together, diverse shopping for various goods in open air markets. I love it. It reminds me times that passed. It seems to perpetuate through the ages and really, what's not to like about that? I'm saying all this and it's leading to my first point. It's not a far walk from my mom's house. Maybe a block or two and the train is right there. So I should have gone there yesterday too. Atlantic Terminal and it's surrounding area is so close to places I've gone recently I can spit there. Really. Get out there! Explore! It never hurts even in your own neighborhood.You never know what you find. Living in such a limited world, people seem to forget about those who even live a mile away if you're not directly related or require to go there. Enrich yourselves, go walking to places you've seen. Through those streets (as long as it's not too late!) that you always drive past because you just don't have time. Enjoy life. M. Rachansky
|
|||
| |
|
She asked me..."Did I ruin your life? When we had the kids, did I ruin your life? You....you don't look as happy as you used to." Conversations like this remind me of the guilt she has. Over everything. The separation. The divorce. Having children at such a young age. I can't say I haven't thought about it at length. I have. A lot. Far too much at times but that is usually the case with everything. There were times when I would have said yes. Or my brain would have screamed yes when I said no. Now is not that time. I'm no longer that person. No regrets is something I am constantly reminding myself to think of. Live life and regret very little. Unless you're a horrid person. Then regret every chance you have. This not being the case well I'll regret very little. I responded "No, it's not you. You haven't done a thing. Rest easy with the knowledge it's not you. There's other things right now." It's true. While they are not anywhere near that magnitude or the scope of such circumstances, well at times even the slightest of problems seem to be greater than the past trials one encounters. I will never regret my children, and I told her that. Ever. I don't care how difficult it seems , how hard it is for the person. Never regret something you bring into this world. Especially a life. Yes, they make my life difficult at times. Yes, I don't get a lot of free time to myself. Yes it bothers me that a great deal of people my age would not date a man with two children. BUT I love them. I love being with them. Taking them to museums, Central Park and Prospect Park in the summertime. Feeding ducks, watching kites fly in the air. Walking around with them, just walking. I couldn't picture my life any other way. Frankly I don't want to. Circumstances are different for everyone. Mine are very unique. It is a matter of perspective. Most things are. M. Rachansky |
|
| |||
|
I located these photos after logging into Flickr this morning and noticing a friend of mine posted some new ones from Saturday on her account. (Jessica, I've stolen the photos, I hope you don't mind. I actually look decent in a couple of them so thank you!) 
|
|||
| |
|
So it's here again Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Unless you don't like it. For whatever reason, hey. I'm not here to judge. Come have a seat and we'll discuss why this shouldn't even exist as a holiday or the commercialization. Really whatever part of the holiday suits or doesn't. I won't bore or annoy any of you with how I feel about today, I don't think anyone wants to or needs to hear it. Enjoy it! Be with the people you care deeply for. Vivir es amar. |
|
| |
|
I've decided to start writing again. So I've been carrying around a notepad in case I decide to write things down like I used to. So here, the first of many. Those words resonated In my head, they echo. I left Walked out. It's cold. I keep thinking about what she said. About me, about us. About her and children. I reflected as I walked. To be with someone who loves kids. It's quiet out here. My boot steps echo on the pavement like the thoughts in my head. I pull my gray wool herringbone newsboy down. My wool pinstripe vest keeps my torso warm. Gosh, wool is a versatile fabric. My headphones are off. Which is odd. I always keep them on. Today they're not. Perhaps....perhaps to prevent the blockade of my thoughts. It's quiet out here. Inside, well. It's chaotic din. I approach the bus stop. I take out my little note pad. I write. I don't want to forget again. I can't stand that. I prefer to remember it. A woman asks for directions. Short. She had dirty blond hair. Light skin, with a colored striped hat. A scarf matched said hat, it rested around her neck. Her cheeks and nose are rosey She carried a pink sip cup with Cinderella n it. A thick Hispanic accent escapes her lips as she speaks. A faint scent of florals wafted about.She carried a reptilian print bag, burgundy. It's fake. I continue to write. She has braces, which I find interesting considering her age. I put on my headphones and wait for the bus. |
|
cheerful
depressed
sick