I actually don't know if you even go on livejournal anymore, but the last time we had a falling out that essentially put a halt to our friendship, I resorted to writing you a letter on here and everything ended up working out. Therefore, this letter is a desperate attempt that you may actually see it and everything will work out.

I do realize that moving away to university has its pitfalls when it comes to holding together a friendship; distance, not seeing each other, being busy with school, meeting new friends. However, I never realized that our friendship could fall so easily because of something like school or distance. Therefore, in the past year and a half, the distance that has been growing between us actually causes insurmountable pain. 

I, recently, have been feeling that of the friends that you still have back home, I'm the one that means the least. I always thought I meant a lot to you, but apparently I do not. This realization hurt more than I can describe because I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved any of my friends and losing you has hurt more than losing anyone else. 

In the past month I have lost a boyfriend, a best friend, and now you, and of the three, I'm having a very hard time dealing with the loss of you. Maybe it's because you don't seem to care. I thought by now you would have maybe tried to reach out to me and reconcile what happened, but I guess I was wrong in thinking so. I guess I thought that after that night that I declared the end of our friendship because you hurt me, you would maybe start to miss me which would have lead to a conversation where we could make up. But it never came.

When I got into my new relationship, I sent a text to you telling you I loved you and the new boyfriend got angry. I remember I just told him that I had loved you since the day I met you and it was just going to be something he'd have to deal with. 

I don't know if losing me has caused such significant hurt for you as losing you has caused for me, and I assume not since I haven't heard a word from you since our argument, but I like to imagine that I meant more to you than it appears to be right now. 


Honestly, I'm not looking for an apology. I'm not looking for you to ask for my friendship back. I just want to know that you still want to be friends. I don't think I can bare losing you forever... I hope you feel the same way. 

I have a feeling that you don't go on your livejournal anymore, and therefore will never see this, but this is me reaching out to you in a silent manner. Take it as you will, but just know that I'll always love you.

Another shot from aforementioned photoshoot with Jessica. I love the intensity of this one. <3

I did a photoshoot with my friend the other day and I love some of the pictures that I took. They turned out great. This is one from the shoot. She was just turning to put her other shoes on and I was like WOAH. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
Yes, and this was the outcome. <3

Life is a cruel and horrible, horrible thing.

My parents fucking aggravate me. Have parents never heard of mistakes? Coincidences? ANYTHING?!?!?!

So I take a shower, and I'm going to put my dirty laundry in the basket, so I open the closet door, on the way shut, for some bizarre reason, the door falls off the hinges. Now, say my mom had been the next one to open/close the door. It would have been her. and no one would get mad.

Next I go to open the fridge and the MILK FALLS OUT AND SPILLS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. Don't you think it's the person who put the milk back in the fridge's fault? And since I don't drink milk, it clearly wasn't my fault. If my mom had been the one to open that fridge in the morning to make lunches, the milk STILL WOULD HAVE FALLEN OUT. But no one would have been mad, cause it wasn't me.

So now I can't do anything right and I'm useless and my parents are pissed at me.
Over a couple coincidences. I love life.

So for the past week or so I've had this canker in my mouth. Like one of those white open sore ulcer thingers that swell and are EXTREMELY ouchy. Well, the pain was immense today, so I wanted to try and fix it after school.

I did the following stupid and then smart things:
1. You know how salt water is supposed to help things like that? I decided I didn't want the salt diluted, so I just poured salt on it. Wanna talk about pain? Yeah. Try it. I recommend it.
2. I proceeded that by sticking my face under the tap to wash it off.
3. I put hydrogen peroxide on it.
4. That wasn't enough, so I put more salt WATER (this time I diluted it) on it.
5. I sat for a while, decided to surf the net for solutions.
6. Finally found something: baking soda and water!!
7. IT WORKS! IT TAKES THE PAIN AWAY AND IS SUPPOSED TO HEAL WITHIN A DAY IF PUT ON FREQUENTLY!!
8. It tastes nasty.


Does anyone wanna trade spots with me? Allie? Ev? Either of you? I need somewhere far away. I just don't wanna be here anymore. lulz.

All for now, folks.

I should write in here more. I probably don't because there are two people who read this. Similarly to how there is only one person who sees my icon comm too. Oh well.

I think I have a headache every day of my life. Not just little annoying ones. Honestly dehabilitating ones. I don't care if that's not a word.

Yesterday, I went shopping. I got 4 new shirts + 3 tank tops, 2 pairs of shorts, a clutch for prom, and a pretttyyy necklace that I can't stop wearing because I love it so much. I'll take pictures and post another time, because I should probably post that on Bloop too. But haven't yet.

Speaking of Bloop, people annoy me over there. It's kinda silly, but I'm running a LIMS diary with a friend on Bloop. We ask that people a) vote for their least favourite icon and give constructive criticism to that maker and b) vote for their favourite.
The problem here is most people give shitty constructive criticism, have no idea what they're voting for, or just suck. The worst icon last week did get voted out, but in the meantime had two POSITIVE votes. It was hideous. I don't know how anyone could have liked it. And somebody we know on Bloop said something along the lines of "It's a shame that one got voted off, it was so nice!" NO IT WASN'T. But it's okay, because this person doesn't have a fucking creative bone in their whole body even though they think so.
( more about this...Collapse )

I think that's all I have to say for this. Just a little update to keep this updated.

I got a new layout. I actually like this one. I've had about 4 in the past week. But this one, I actually like. It's from mintyapple
Thanks. =)

It's not like I don't love Zooey Deschanel enough, but I fell even more in love with her when I was informed that she sings as well. Then I heard it.

( zooey ♥Collapse )

hai guys.


i know. lame. but i've never seen the dragon hatched from the stone-looking egg!

well. im bored. and i'm hungry. school is boring. life is boring. blahblahblah