the randomness of my existence

I learned something in the last couple of days. I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with where I have ended up so far. After much fighting with the nasty ex who sent me the smutty picture "which has to be me because I'm too much of a wimp to have ever gotten tattoos, so I can't use that as an excuse" ha ha ha ha. It occured to me that I like my job. I have a good education. I have my own place again. On top of all of that I have friends that are really worth having. I may not see my friends all of the time, and I may not have anyone that I'm unbeleivably close to, but I really appriciate the people that I'm friends with. He told me that I'm going to end up a bitter old cat lady. The bitter part will definately be wrong. But I'm ok with being the old cat lady. I don't need to get married or be with someone to have a happy and fulfilling life. And I know that I'm much better off being an old cat lady than ever being with him or anyone like him ever again. I feel free. I feel like knowing that I possibly made him angry enough at me that I will never ever have to hear from him again has made my life significantly better. After all, the only reason I had against moving to Mt. Pleasant was the possibility of running in to him. Now if I do run into him it won't be a problem because he won't speak to me. Somehow I doubt that he could possibly hate me nearly as much as I hate him, however knowing that he might have a small fraction of that living in him makes me very happy.

I am going to make my livejournal friends only. I have put much thought into this. I haven't been posting very much for the last six months or so mainly because I learned that there is someone reading my journal that I don't want to have doing so. I didn't want to give them so much control as to change how I have handled my journal for the last four years. However, it occured to me that they were still controlling me by making it so that I didn't want to post. I want to be able to post freely without worry. If you are someone who is not currently on my friends list, and you want to read my journal please let me know and I will add you to my friends list.

Kanar this weekend was great. There was a lot more great roleplay than I have seen on the field in a very long time. I really had all sorts of fun. Well, except for the fact that it was incredibly hot, especially for october. Then I came home, I was very happy to see my cat and know that she had handled her first weekend alone in the apartment fairly well. I should have never checked my email. One of my ex's sent me an email with a link to a picture of two naked girls. He claimed that one of them was me and I couldn't deny it. I realize that the huge birthmark on my face that wasn't on this girl's face couldn't have been one tiny clue that this was not me. However aparently he wasn't looking at the girl's face. Nor were any of my tattoos there, nor my belly button ring (which I happened to get done while he was with me), nor the fact that I have been dying my hair a shade of burgundy for at least five years now, and of course this person had to be me. He is supposedely getting married soon, and yet he has to bring up how he misses my body and wants to see me. I'm completely revulted. I'm completely insulted. I can't believe that anyone could do something so completely distasteful.

So I just got MY computer back online after a year and four months. It missed the internet. I really do like the new place. Though there is so much to do with getting settled in and unpacking that I almost don't know where to start each day. Moving day was really difficult. Most of the people that said they would help didn't end up showing up. All in all I am much happier, and I think that my cat is too.

Ok, so that is my totally favorite quote from Dr. Seuss and ever so fitting for my day today. Really it was a good day. One of the other band directors found me a place that I can teach private lessons at to make some extra money after school, and I checked out a great apartment that I think I'm going to get. So in my head I think when is the next good time for me to move, and I pick the only weekend that I don't have something schedualed in for the next month or so, Sept. 29. I tell my mother that I have found an apartment and all of that stuff. Her response was well, I can't help you move that weekend so you will have to pick another weekend. She then tells me that I should pick the following weekend. I explain that I have kanar that weekend. She then tells me that I must choose what is more important moving or kanar. Mind you the whole time I'm thinking, so I need to find people other than her to help me move. But she pretty much dictates that I must move when it is good for her, and my plans for my life are superseaded by her schedual. Now I'm pissed. I have every intention of finding people to help me move on the 29th. If you are free to help that day please let me know. And if you are worried about getting in the middle of a fight between my mother and I, don't worry, she won't be there. So there is my life at the moment. I have to get the hell out of this house before I lose my sanity.

Well, the school year started on Tuesday. I am now really doing the teaching thing. I'm very busy, and there is so much to do. The kids seem really great, and I think overall I'm going to have a lot of fun. But, I'm alive and well, and I still have work to do tonight, so this is going to be really short. Sorry.

So I am now officially a teacher. I've started my job with all of the pre-school year preparation junk, and there is so much to do that it makes my head spin. I'm supposed to get a computer from the school district, which I haven't yet, so there is a whole bunch of stuff that I need to do, but I can't do. In the upside I'm really getting along with all of the other music teachers, they have been amazingly helpful. School starts in a few days and I excited, and nervous. I spent all of yesterday getting stuff ready and there's still a lot for me to do today. Yesterday I got an email stating that one of the people who were supposed to send in letters of recommendation for my grad school application hadn't. This was a horrible discovery concidering that I had to have it in by the first. So I stressed about that for the night, and got it taken care of this morning. Now I still have a chance at getting accepted to grad school. The guy that I have been sort of seeing for a while now might be history soon. I finally said well, I'm staying in michigan so we need to either make this serious or call it quits, and I haven't heard from him in a while. This is very disappointing. I just wish I could find someone who actually wants to date me, and not just use me. I hate dating, I think that it is some strange sort of punishment in life.

Well, for the last several weeks most of my life has simply been instructing band camps. I enjoy it, it is fun, but I'm always glad to come home and see my cat again. Other than that I have turned in my application for graduate school. I'm attempting to take part in an online program for my Master's in educational leadership thru MSU. I learned that MSU is the only college in the state that offers such a program online. So now all I can do is wait to hear if they accepted me or not. Other than that life hasn't been too exciting.

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!! I GOT A JOB!!!!!!! I GOT A JOB!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!!!!! Anyway, it's part time, however it is in michigan, and it's somewhere for me to start. As a matter of fact it's a damn good place for me to start.

My week at kanar was a lot of fun. I hurt my wrist though so typing will be short. I got to meet my cousin's baby. My car is making funny noises and needs to be fixed. I had a job interview on tuesday and now I'm in the last two people that they are looking at. It sounds like I've got a really good chance at getting this job. Yippie. I might actually get a job in michigan.