iforni

Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies.

"Tallahassee... I don't think any steaks will have lasted this long..."

"Shut up. Freezers, right kid?" Tallahassee turned around from the meat counter, the high quality deli meats in the case having become high quality rotting meat and mold. Definitely not pleasant.

"They'll probably have freezer burn then." The truth was, Columbus just didn't care for being inside this meat market much. It was cramped, it smelled of rotting meat, and it had one way in and out- the front door. To his mind, it was just a beacon for any zombies: SURVIVORS HERE. GET THEM WHILE THEY HAVE A PULSE.

"What is it with you and an aversion to everything with a fucking masculine ounce in it?" The older man asked. He wasn't leaving. He was just heading further back into the store, through the steel door that lead back into the freezer... Which, no surprise there, didn't look like it had had any power running in it for quite a few days.

"I am not averse to masculinity. I just don't think any steaks are going to have lasted."

Of course, Columbus was the right one in this case. It really wasn't pleasant in there, and deserved no description. Suffice to say there was mold, there was rotting meat, and there were bugs. Lots of bugs. Tallahassee just sighed and scratched at his stubbly scalp and turned back out of the meat locker. Columbus just glowed with that 'I told you so' feeling, so much that you could almost feel it by standing next to him.

Columbus started following Tallahassee out of the store when he saw it.

It had a lighter shade of orange-yellow fur, matted in the blood of its victims, what looked to Columbus to be massive teeth, beady, bloodthirsty eyes... Oh, the horror.

Tallahassee saw something a little bit different.

He saw a golden retriever, owner long since dead, probably the poor chap's blood on his fur, worn teeth used to playing with chew toys, and intelligent brown eyes, full of longing for a master that was long gone.

Tallahassee had always been a dog person... He supposed that's why he had always told people that Buck was a puppy, and not just a parakeet, or a cat. A puppy. His puppy. The dog whined, tail wagging a few times, and stepped forward happily, having finally found someone to reattach its loyalties to.

Tallahassee and the dog weren't expecting what happened next.

There was a gunshot, a yelp, and the dog stumbled back and dropped. Tallahassee turned to Columbus, double barrel still raised, shaking like a leaf.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?" The dog was dead. There was no doubt about that. A head on shot, and close range... Tallahassee didn't even want to look at the poor thing, probably reduced to hamburger.... Icky... Not a good thought outside of a meat market.

"It was gonna get you!" Tallahassee didn't even notice the slight hysterical tone to the kid's voice. He just stared at him, blunt and cold. Columbus visibly squirmed under his gaze.

"Hummer. Backseat. Now." He barked those three words, and just watched Columbus scurry to comply. That little shit... Tallahassee gave the poor canine one more glance, and followed Columbus back to the car.

Three days later, and Tallahassee stil had avoided speaking to him. Columbus thought for sure the next pit stop they were going to make would be the end of his life. He kept thinking Tallahassee would drag him out of the car, put that sawed off shotgun at the base of his skull, and pull the trigger. But no, each time, Columbus survived. Tallahassee seemed to be pretending he didn't exist. It was starting to get to him. What if he didn't exist? What if really, he had died a while back and was just following Tallahassee in his afterlife.

It was a sobering thought, and more than once had Columbus going into a state of semi-panic... Which was just ignored by Tallahassee. After the fifth time, when Columbus had gotten his breathing back under control, he looked up from where Tallahassee had regaled him to the back seat.

"Sorry!"

He didn't know where else to start, but figured that was as good a place as any. Unfortunately, Tallahassee chose that moment to stomp on the brakes. Columbus jerked in his seatbelt and quailed under the fierce stare he was fixed with.

"For what?"

"Shooting the dog! I-I didn't mean to... It was like Murray... Just instinct..."

"What kind of fucked up place you from that shooting dogs is instinct?"

"Couldn't help it!"

Tallahassee sat there, still partially turned around, and grit his jaw. Columbus could see the muscles moving beneath the stubbled skin, and swallowed nervously, Adam's apple bobbing with the motion... He leaned over and started to pull up his pants, until the denim was tight around his knee. There, below the joint, you could see the faint ring of teeth left in his leg.

"There was this dog that used to live in our neighborhood..." Columbus began to explain more and more.

"It was a stray, and one day, the other kids got a hold on it, locked it in someone's backyard for a bit... I was on my way home from school. They took my backpack, and tossed it over the person's fence. They told me it was a rabid dog in there, and I'd kinda gotten used to this stuff. Didn't realize they were telling the truth. I got over the fence, went to grab my bag... The dog bit me. Had to go to the hospital." Another nervous swallow.

"Lots of shots... Could barely look at a dog again after that."

Tallahassee seemed to digest this information for a while. He tilted his head to the s

ide and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Well then..." He drawled slowly, looking back at the kid, quivering there in his seat. Without further ado, he unbuckled his own seatbelt and climbed back there after there, pulling the shaking Columbus into his lap for a hug.

"It seems I owe you an apology."

iforni

"Ophidiophobia or ophiophobiais a particular type of specific phobia, the abnormal fear of snakes..." ~ Wikipedia

Python sebae (African Rock Python), is a non-venomous python species found in subsaharan Africa.
With adults reaching lengths of over 6 m (20 ft), this is one of the world's largest species of snakes. The typical adult length is 4.8 m (16 ft) and rumors of specimens over 20 feet are generally considered reliable, but larger specimens have never been confirmed.
The color pattern is typically brown, with olive and tan irregular blotching, fading to white on the underside. At a glance they can be easily mistaken for the Burmese python, P. m. bivittatus, but the two species are not closely related. ~ a plaque somewhere in an abandoned zoo, in front of an exhibit with the glass shattered everywhere

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Alright... Here we go. Chapter two, with more Talumbus in it, much longer, and much more dangerous. Drop me a line if you like, alright?

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"..Ya know...The country's our oyster." This remark hit Columbus with surprise, considering who it was coming from.

"Our zombie infested oyster." He corrected.

"Still an oyster. Jus' a bloodier one." Columbus nodded. So the world was their bloody oyster? What of it?

"If you say so..."

"I DO say so... An' I was thinkin' bout the things we could never do before, what with pansies everywhere an' all....An' I've got a list here I think we should go through."

Columbus respected the sanctity of a list. It was his own list that kept him alive, after all. Another's list, even if it was just a series of probably redneck things to go out and do, should be taken with all seriousness.

"So...What's on this list of yours, Tallahassee?"

"Well...I ain't got it wrote down....but I definitely know what I wana do first."

"And what's that?"

"Ya ever seen a Safari?"

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Okay...So maybe it wasn't Africa...But it was the closest thing they'd be able to find. A zoo somewhere down south (He hadn't quite cared enough to look at the place's name) somewhere were it would support some of the ....well....The animals that survived. Zombie zookeepers and tourists went down, because apparently, the fucking zombie apocalypse wasn't enough of a reason to postpone the family trip to stare at animals....

Columbus...Well...In all honesty, he hadn't well...Ever...Been to a zoo. Sure, he'd read about them, seen them on tv, and those nature documentaries were enough for him. Always, he'd come up with some reason to miss out on those field trips that brought them to the the smelly death traps. After all, a zoo was just a place where you put dangerous animals in damned cages, which only pissed them off in the long run...so no need to take the chance of getting eaten by a tiger.

But with worries about other things eating him instead, Columbus has finally nutted up. Time for the zoo.

Some of the exhibits held the corpses and bodies, barely distinguishable now, of whatever had been contained inside. Small tufts of fur, scales, feathers, you name it, were everywhere.

Maybe some PETA enthusiast had been among the ranks of those who had last been here...Because Columbus was only too quick to notice some of the other areas were unlocked, doors opened, glass smashed in, planks set down to give a means of escape, bars bent, wood burned.

And if those things were still alive....

Holy crap, this was a stupid idea.

But Tallahassee wanted to shoot some big cats, and every other single dangerous animal, that apparently proved you had balls if you put bullets in them.

Yes. Columbus definitely thought this was stupid. Very stupid indeed.

So when they caught the sight of a black and orange striped big cat, running, Tallahassee followed his instincts, and Columbus followed his.

Tallahassee clicked a shell into place and ran at the thing, ready to jam his hand down it's throat, however he needed to claim the beast for a trophy.

Columbus....Well...Columbus screamed and ran.

Cardio, cardio, cardio..... Cardio was helpful, but he couldn't outrun something big with claws like that and teeth... so Columbus sprinted towards the nearest building that still had lights on inside, skylights letting in light as well in the building. His feet splashed through stagnant pools of water, before he finally stopped, breathing hard to look behind him.

It reeked in here....On closer inspection, Columbus find out why. This was the aquarium area... And "Fins" the dolphin...Well... A dolphin that dies in water and rots doesn't make such a pretty sight. The water looked suspiciously clouded and brown-ish green in the tank...Looking around, he noticed a tank busted...So that's where the water on the floor had come from....And judging from that meaty blob over in the corner, some sort of marine animal had been in that tank as well.

Columbus tried to slow his breathing as quickly as possible. He didn't want to breathe in more of the fumes than he had to... Looking back towards the exit where he'd entered, he put the sleeve of his sweatshirt over his mouth, and started walking back that way.

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Food....It hadn't had big good food in too long...The snake flicked its tongue lethargically. It was larger...But it would fit... The bright neon hues that were the snake's mix of vision, heat sense, and scent showed where the prey was moving... It slithered gently through the water, gentle ripples spreading, but going unnoticed as it readied its ambush.

A few more steps.... The snake had patience...It could see it...Coming...Coming...

And there it was, the optimal strike range. Slow and sleepy movements changed in the blink of an eye. Teeth flashed, wet and dark mottled scales shone, muslces clenched, and a tail flopped.

And then the snake waited patiently for the prey to submit to the embrace.

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Columbus kept walking, wondering if Tallahassee had shot the thing yet...He'd though he'd heard shots, but you never knew...He could've been taking potshots at the beast or zombies... Columbus felt a little pathetic for running off, but he couldn't exactly help it. It had been instinct, but now he was regretting the choice. Being away from Tallahassee tended to make the weedy man more than a little bit nervous.

Columbus didn't even know what Tallahassee was going to do with it... It's not like there was a taxedermist nearvy or a den for them to set it up in-

Every line of thought was cut off as Columbus felt something slam into him. He was aware of the slam of force, knocking him onto his back, and the sharp press of teeth around his elbow, clamped down in a death grip that rivaled a wood-clamp. There was a short, panicked scream as his gun went flying, water splashed up around him, and Columbus thought for sure it was a zombie. He had been ambushed by a zombie.

But he realized that wasn't the case as he tried to shriek again, feeling scales pressing against his arms, and a flop of a long heavy weight squirming over him, under him, all around him. Snake...Snake. Snake. SNAKE. Columbus felt himself locking up with fear as scales cinched around him.

He couldn't move.

One hand flopped above a section of coil, the other pinned far under, arms totally trapped to his sides. Legs couldn't move, ankles crossing from where his shins were forced together, and Columbus could still feel the teeth in his arm, holding him there painfully, causing another squeak of fear from him. But at the moment, the teeth seemed like a minor problem. It wasn't going to be the fangs that killed him.

No...He knew what it would be... Columbus could feel it happening slowly already. The muscles were tightening around him, driving the air from his lungs, the life from his body. He was aware of each acute movement of the snake that was killing him slowly... And rather painfully. Coil after coil of writhing muscle was collapsing in on him from everywhere.

Columbus tried to keep as much air in as he could, but with the firey ache building up in his lungs and spreading to the rest off him...He knew he didn't have long...and with the luck he had in life so far... Who knew how much longer it could be until Tallahassee came looking?

Finally, Columbus had no more air, no more life to be wrung out of his scrawny body. There was only a wheeze of a croak, then nothing more. Everything was numb, and blackness was already creeping in from everywhere, threatening his ability to see.

There were two thoughts that flitted around his oxygen depleted mind.

The first... It was odd that there was a second snake... Odd that it was so tall and broad... And only half of it seemed to have scales.

The second... This was a fitting death... Did lions limber up before they took down the gazelle? Columbus didn't know. He had been a gazelle his whole life.

It was fitting that he died like one, caught in the python's embrace.

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Tallahassee growled loudly with rage, kicked over a trashcan, and shot some zookeep's golf cart... the damn tiger had gotten away... He figured it had probably high-tailed it, and for good reason. Tallahassee wanted nothing more than to kill something big and dangerous, and he wanted to do so, NOW.

And Spit-fuck had run off... Where to, he didn't know, but he figured he better find him. That kid got into ten kinds of trouble when he was away. So Tallahassee merely turned around, and walked back into the direction they had started off. No sign of Columbus. He licked his teeth beneath his lips, eyes squinting as they scanned the area of the zoo around him. No weedy kid running around... But some building with a big ass smiling happy-as-a-fucking-clam dolphin on the front was the closest building to where he started the chase.

Seemed like as good a places as any to find his bitch.

Strolling casually, sawed off shotgun resting on his shoulder, Tallahassee followed the neat little path into the psychotically happy dolphin building.

And there was Columbus.

Well....What he assumed was Columbus. Right now, it was a writhing, bulging mass of snake wrapped around something.

He speed picked up and he sprinted at the mass or scales. The closer he got, the more he saw. The angrier he got. The more worried he got. That familiar double barrel lay in the water. He could see one thin-fingered hand flopping bonelessly above a section of the python, nails blue. He could see a mop of curly brown hair that peeked out. He could see the sneakers at the other end, and god damn it, he could see one well chewed string of a sweatshirt hanging loose.

That was all Tallahassee really needed to set him off.

The blood that welled from where the snake's mouth was fastened around HIS spitfuck's elbow just added to it. With an angry growl dark enough to put out candles, Tallahassee sprung forward, abandoning his own gun to the floor in the process. Nothing he could shoot without hurting Columbus. One work roughed hand fixed over the snakes head, fingers digging ruthlessly at the eyes as he tried to pry the thing off, but to no avail. That head was stuck firm.

Time was running out. Tallahassee could tell. He had thought he'd seen a dim flicker of thought in those brown eyes as he sprung in. Now they were dull. Damn it... If that snake had...

Tallahassee cut off that train of thought. He was not letting his bitch be taken by a fucking animal, by a fucking snake... the head.

It hit him hard and suddenly, and he kicked himself for not going for that when he first ran in. You cut off the head, the serpent's body follows... That was how the proverb went, right?

He could only hope it went for real snakes too.

With an angered snarl, Tallahassee brought out his knife, and with the practiced skill of one who knew his way around weapons, took the measure of the top half to the snake's head, eyed the blade, and brought it straight down on the thick scales of the thing's head.

There was a sick scraping noise, and a slight pop of a puncture sound as it bit though. Tallahassee stopped when he felt it bite through the other side. There would only be the thinnest, shallowest of nicks from the blade to Columbus. The wounds from the teeth would be worse to deal with.

The body tightened once, twice, the tail twitching and thrashing in the water, before it went completely limp, laying still and loose.

Tallahassee wasted no time. He uncurled the thing from around the kid's still form, taking note how many times it had gotten around him. Damn, if Columbus wasn't the skinniest motherfucker left alive-

If he was alive...No... He couldn't think like that.

The beast tossed to the side, thin fingers searched for a pulse, and had to press hard to find a weak, thready, and fading one. Tallahassee felt it skip twice under his fingers. It was enough.

He wasn't breathing... Columbus wasn't breathing, and his skin had a definite bluish hint to it, lips a more pronounced shade.

Do or let him die.. And Tallahassee knew which he'd rather avoid with everything at his disposal as he pushed his mouth forward, pinching Columbus's thin nose, and took a deep breath, a full lung full for Columbus's. Which weren't taking in the necessary air.

Once...

Twice... ...

Thrice... ... ...

And finally, Tallahassee was rewarded for his efforts. Columbus's eyes rolled, and his body gave a shuddering jerk as lungs started working. He coughed and spluttered twice, wincing as the motions shook him. Damn, that kid was going to have some serious bruises... Bruises all over.

Tallahassee ran his fingers under the sweater, then under the t-shirt under that, then under the, Jesus Christ, how many of layers did the kid need?

He finally got to the skin, aware of Columbus breathing hard and deep and whimpering. He felt maybe one, two cracked ribs... But that was it.

"You are one lucky motherfucker... Two cracked ribs, I think... Ain't I ever told you how much better it was to be lucky?"

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Columbus was surprised by a few things as his mind drifted back into consciousness.

One, he was waking up.

Two, there were lips at his.

Three, it was Tallahassee's.

He coughed and spluttered, each action feeling as though it ripped through him with the capability of a hurricane. Pain spread through him, and it quickly subsided. Columbus almost giggled, but held it in when he felt the hands under his clothes. It would've been even more pathetic, and probably hurt like hell. So giggling was out of the question.

"Lucky...Yeah...I feel...real lucky..."

"Ya should... I almost thought you went and died on me there, kid."

"Oh?... You're talking about the snake..."

"Duh. What'd you think I was talking about?.... Some smarts get squeezed out your ears?"

"Nu-uh... ... I mean....Ya kissed me...And then... Felt me up." Columbus knew he wasn't thinking clearly. The lack of oxygen had done this to him, but he couldn't help himself. To his relief, he was answered with a chuckle, instead of anger.

"So I did, Columbus... So I did..."

"I mean... It only... Took a gigantic snake... and me almost dying... Again... For you to kiss me..."

"Yeah. Aren't you special?" Columbus was going to answer, when he felt himself lifted out of the pool of water on the floor, and held against a broad chest. It hurt, and he showed so with a groan. Everything hurt... Tallahassee hushed him quietly.

"You're going to be sore... So it'll be best to give ya lots of rest... But I have something in mind to do while ya get better.."

"Nn..?" Served as Columbus's only response. He raised his tired eyes up to Tallahassee, then followed his gaze to where the body of the snake lay, stiffening with pained muscles just at the sight of it.

"S-s-snake....Fucking...Hate...Snakes..."

"I noticed, Columbus.... Good ol' Tallahassee's getting a new pair of boots." Columbus gave a chuckle that sounded more like a wheeze, face glued to Tallahassee's body. There was gentle rocking as they walked back to the hummer, not enough to hurt him much more, but enough to slowly lull his tired body to sleep.

iforni

First time posting....On anything....Ever on Livejournal...Still trying to figure some things out.
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Columbus was a safe driver. Always had been, always would be.

Tallahassee, suffice to say, wasn't. But even the redneck needed sleep now and again. It was that simple. So, during the once in a blue moon episode where the wheel was entrusted to the younger man, Columbus made use of it, and held it in a steady sixty through sixty-five range, staying on the dangerous side of sixty.

Morning had finally reared its ugly head with the weight of a Monday, sending a watered light over the roads. Yellow dashes raced ahead of him on the tarmac, and the road was blissfully empty on all sides. The road would probably never experience much more than this level of traffic for the rest of its existence. It was a sad, sobering thought.

Columbus blinked twice as the slanted sunlight spilled across the hummer's windshield, blinding him for a moment as he drove. The light had no effect on the man who was sitting next to him in the passenger seat. He was dead asleep.

Columbus cringed at his own choice of words, and with a practiced dart of obsessive and compulsory eyes, took his gaze off the road for a moment to look at Tallahassee. Chest rising and falling with a deep, steady rhythm, hat pulled down low for a brim to cover his pale blue eyes, closed and relaxed in sleep, nose and lips wrinkling in a silent snarl. Columbus figured he was probably dreaming about a glorious massacre...

And so, with that comforting thought in mind, he turned hs attention back to driving....Or...At least he tried to.

Columbus had barely turned his attention back when he saw it.

Long, spindly, needle thing legs that held a body, sickeningly plump in comparison, suspended in the air. The legs moved and waved in impossibly synchronized and mesmerizing movements, freezing him in place as he stared at it. The Daddy Long legs scuttled quickly over the dash...towards...oh god...the horror... The direction of the steering wheel, and more importantly, him. Panicking, he scrambled for his seat-belt, vaguely aware of the sudden swerve the hummer had taken on. He accidentally kicked the brake pedal twice in his haste, sending the car jerking, and his fingers sliding along the cool metal of the buckle, eyes still frozen on the arachnid that was carrying its body, now down the curve of the steering wheel.

The spider was very clearly coming after him...It would bite him, and he would die, and it would be embarrassing as hell, and just horrible all around. Panicky noises continued squeezing from his throat and Columbus bounced in his seat as they went over the shoulder and started into the ditch and-

A calloused hand darted over and grabbed the steering wheel, jerking it sharply towards the road. The spider was lost beneath the strong fingers with a barely audible soft crunch, and Tallahassee guided the car back to the road where it coasted gently to a stop. He did have some practice with ditch driving, after all. Columbus kept his eyes on the steering wheel as the fingers lifted. Underneath, he could see the smashed spider's body, legs twitching.

Okay...Either he never drove this car again...Or they got a new steering wheel.

Tallahassee took note of what Columbus was staring at.

"That's what you were screaming about.....A fuckin' ..spider?"

"Yeah.." Columbus blinked, and blushed, embarrassed.

"A spider....A. Fuckin'. Spider."

"I thought we had gone over this just like two second ago."

"We almost crashed in the ditch....Because of a spider?"

"I don't think we would've crashed....But essentially...Yes....I'm...Kinda....afraid....Of them.." Columbus explained haltingly.

"Oh really? What with the sissy panic attack and shrieking and all...I didn't notice."

"Sorry," Was all Columbus responded with, eyeing the dead arachnid.

"If that isn't proof of your bitch-dom....I don't know what is." Tallahassee snorted, brushing it off the steering wheel and onto his hand, then his pants.

Columbus just sighed, and moved to turn over the wheel.