Emerge Amaranthine

...I'm scared that one day I may forget entirely.

Play this game at freerice.com.
It is incredibly addictive. This is the third time I've played today, and this time I've already donated 5240 grains of rice.

I just. cant. stop.

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In other news, I've created my new journal, under the user-name the_amarant.
You can click that link and add it to your friends' list if you would like to continue keeping tabs on me. I haven't used it at all yet, but we all know how great I am at updating things...

December. I haven't written an entry in a very long time. Mostly it is because I don't have much connection with this journal anymore. There are lots of thoughts, and people, and places that I no longer identify with, and I think it's about time to move on, to create a new journal for my newfound and blooming self. Perhaps I'll make a post once the transition has been made.

It's getting cold here, and the air is crisp and clean, and stings my eyes and ears. It's absolutely beautiful, despite the chill. Ice has been forming in all the puddles on the sidewalks; I jump on the frozen spots and imagine I'm breaking the glass that surrounds me. I'm breaking free of my constraints a little at a time.

It's good that we have the distance to cushion us. Our minds groping out for one another across the miles of sky and open road. Too far away to easily fall into the sticky pitch of one another's heart. It is far better to climb the branches of the other's conception, till our leaves intertwine with overgrowth and young sappling sprigs. And once our canopy is full and plush, we may take that leap together, and from the upmost bough fall slow as feathers into the soft spot of our wooden cores.

I've been waiting five years, but I was finally able to go see Rasputina play a show, and it was just as great as I've always hoped. Their opening act was My Brightest Diamond. I'd never heard of her before, but fell in love nearly instantly. Here is a video of her's for "Dragonfly"...



In other news, I'm living in Flagstaff now, and everything is wonderful. It's been raining here nearly every day, and the sky is always beautiful. Not to mention that for the first time I'm living in a place that actually feels like my own. We have a little yard, and have been sprinkling some grass seed around. Some of it has grown almost two inches in a week! I'm so excited for spring when I can have a vegetable and herb garden. We also bought a little standing fire pit which we've used a few times, and we went on a rock hunt the other day for rocks to form a little path around the yard. It is going to be so awesome to sit out there when fall comes around and all the leaves are changing colors.

Oh, I know it's hard to believe, but I actually have a job now. I'm working at a small family owned farmer's market that is just around the corner from my house. The food is delicious, and I get a discount. Hurray for starting to eat healthy again, I'm also excited to start trying out some recipes and learning how to cook. I have a feeling that living here is going to do me wonders.

I've finally finished my fuzzy baby dreadlings. Hurray!
(I'm so excited to watch them grow!)

Well, well, well, I think it is about time for an update seeing as how a lot has happened since my last post.

I'm back in Globe now. I've been back for about a month. Things just weren't working out so well for me on the bus. It's not that I wasn't having a good time, and I certainly met a lot of amazing people, but Jason and I hadn't been working for a long while, and it was time to part ways. I didn't feel like writing this all down at first, things were still too fresh and painful, but I am happy to say that things are looking good, and I can actually admit to feeling wonderful!

It's hard when you love someone so much, to let them go, even when you know that is what is best. I wanted to help him and be there for him, but in reality I was being ripped apart, and was at a point where I was only hurting his life along with mine. It is also hard, after such an intense relationship, to let yourself feel happy; but I do, I feel alive again and I'm so excited to see what comes next. It took me a good few weeks to get to this point, but I am so relieved to be rid of all that pain and to release all of those pent up emotions out into the universe so something good can start weaving its way to me.

I've been spending a lot of time on the internet, and a lot of times being crafty and making things and getting good ideas. I've been working more on the ol' dreads too, and hopefully they'll all be in place soon.

Sometime in July I'm moving my way up to Flagstaff. I'll be starting school again, and finding a job, and hopefully meeting lots of good people. I guess we'll just see what happens.

I took my own mini road trip about a week ago. It was really refreshing to hit the road by myself and have the freedom to go wherever I desired whenever I pleased. I saw so many people, a few of whom I hadn't gotten a chance to see in a very long time and I think I actually managed to see nearly every person I truly care about that lives between Phoenix and Flagstaff, with the exception of a few. It's truly amazing to realize how many people you love, and how many people love you. I can't wait to be set up in Flag with my own space so I can return everyone's hospitality.

Other than that, in half an hour I'll be two decades old. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet, but I am sure that the next year of my life will hold many more adventures, and I'm running towards it with open arms.

corner of Hollywood and Vine.

Well, I am officially in California... Santa Monica, bitches! Today has been really good, and I think we are off to a pretty good start.

We met a couple really awesome people, including a few photographers from Turkey who promised to email us copies of all the pictures they took. We also sold our first cup of coffee to a girl named Audra who is possibly the nicest girl I've ever met. A little while later we headed down to the drum circle on Venice beach, and as usual I had a lot of fun.

The weather is amazing, and everyone in Arizona should be envious. It was a little toasty on the afternoon drive, but by the time we arrived in Santa Monica it was already Jacket weather, and by the end of the night I was wearing two long sleeved shirts!

There isn't a thing I can think of to complain about today, and that is a rare day indeed. I hope they keep coming. Look forward to more updates and blurry camera phone pictures as soon as internet access permits.

Well...here I go. The time for the big journey has arrived, and later this evening we will be on the road to California. Ill be posting updates a lot, most likely both on here and on The Wanderlust's myspace page. (I'll post a link to it sometime soon.)

For now, good bye to all of Phoenix, and Arizona...my friends and family and to this neighborhood I've grown accustomed to. I wont be gone forever though, I'm already missing it.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

-- J R R Tolkien



Wish me luck, everyone!