| A definition of self. |
[Wednesday 1.1.20 @ 18:05pm] |
Because nearly all my public posts are either 1. Fandom related informational posts, or 2. From approximately 2006, I've decided an up-to-date public post is in order.
I am 23. I have a cat named Nola. I live alone; the rest of my family live in Washington State in the US. I now live in Bundang, South Korea. I currently teach English at a small hagwon; some days, it's the best job ever, and other days it's the worst. I'm still learning.
I love languages: I read French at a near-fluent level, speak Japanese at a fairly smooth conversational level (but can't read worth a damn) and have a very, very basic grasp of Korean. I'm studying Korean on my own now after taking half a term at Hanyang University.
I am diagnosed Manic Depressive, meaning some days I am completely nuts, and other days I am an utter hermit. I also have a pretty severe panic disorder, although an exact diagnosis is currently unknown. I seem to be on a good mix of medication now! I do make posts when I am at pretty much every mood, so this journal is a definite reflection of my spectrum.
I am the first to admit that I've said and done some stupid things in my life. I wouldn't necessarily take them back, because honestly, I learned from them. I grew from them. Who I was 3 or 4 years ago is similar to who I am now, but now I'm a lot more mellow. I upset some people back then, and a lot of them still dislike me for it. I can't say that I'm precisely sorry for upsetting them, but I can say it wasn't my intention. I don't go out of my way to piss people off; but part of being human is, in fact, exactly that. So I apologize for being a snot at times, but hey. I challenge anyone to say they never did stupid shit when they were 17.
In the past four years, I have learned several things: patience (which was hard,) modesty (which was harder,) and that unless I really, really, really have to, it's usually best to just shake my head and scroll on by. Sometimes I forget these; I'm a work in progress.
If you friend me, I would hope that you're here not just for fandom flail, or not just to make that number on your "mutual friends" list get a little bit bigger. I'd like to think you're here for me, and for the things I have to say here. If you're not, well. Whatever you think is best for you.
If I friend you back, know that I am reading. I may not comment (I'm pretty terrible at commenting, really) but I'm reading. I'm listening. I friended you because I wanted to know you a little bit better.
This post is public because I want people to understand that people change. People grow up. People make mistakes. This journal is a record of how I've grown from a very angry 15 year old, to a very lonely 16 year old, to a very anxious 17 year old, to a very volatile 18 year old, to a very awkward 19 year old, to a very proud 20 year old, a more self-aware 21 year old, and a fresh 22 year old. I am changed by every single person who reads or comments or engages with me, and I thank you all for it.
これからもよろしくお願いします。
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| FRIENDS ONLY |
[Wednesday 1.1.20 @ 14:36pm] |
[nitty-gritty]
This is my journal. I will say what I feel here, because it's my space to do exactly that. I may rant, I may rave, I may be completely random. Sometimes all three at once. Please be aware that almost all the public posts visible here are from a very, very long time ago. Like everyone on the internet, I said and thought stupid things. I like to think we've collectively grown up since then.
That said, you should know three important things about me.
1. I'm atheist. Don't know what that means? Look it up.
2. I'm diagnosed with both Manic Depressive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (and apparently in the last three years, General Anxiety Disorder.) Don't know what those are? Look them up.
3. I'm bi-sexual. Don't know what that means? Look it up.
I refuse to censor myself. It's my journal, okay?
[how this works]
You friend me, then comment here telling me you've done so. A reason for WHY you've friended me is nice, but not required. I will friend you back hopefully in less than two weeks. I don't always spot comments right away. ^^;;;
[in the unlikely event]
If I haven't friended you back after a month? Please don't expect me to. I like making friends, but if I think things won't... work, then I won't add you.
I'm going to be perfectly honest here. I friend people who's journals I want to read; if reading your LJ gives me a headache from trying to sort through poor grammar/chatspeak/way too many punctuation marks/utter LACK of punctuation marks/obscenely large bright pink text, etc., then seriously. Don't friend me. Please.
If I defriended you and you want to be added back? I'm sorry, but I defriended you on purpose.
[filters]
I now post using filters. They are:
1. Real Life (in which there is talking about school, work, friends, and whatever thoughts and moods I am currently in the middle of.)
2. Fandom (Arashi mostly, sometimes other fandoms that spring up.)
Please let me know which filters you would like to be on in your comment.
If you are here for my writing, please friend  abscondpress instead! All works are posted unlocked there!
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| I'm on dreamwidth! |
[Friday 5.5.17 @ 21:47pm] |
Friendly reminder to all you lovely, beautiful people: I'm on dreamwidth, also honooko! Add me there. I'm unfortunately no more active there than here really, but I do still sometimes post. AND, abscondpress is there and more updated than on here!
So: NEW FIC IS ON DREAMWDITH AND ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN! FOR DIFFERENT FANDOMS EVEN!
I love you all and miss you bunches. <3
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[Thursday 22.12.11 @ 23:13pm] |
RIGHT SO.
I am officially leaving LJ. Basically it boils down to LJ being asshats and I refuse to put up with it anymore. Dreamwidth has made importing journals so painfully easy I had no excuse anymore, and they are rolling out a comm importing feature in the near future, so abscondpress, falseicon and several other comms are coming with me. I may cross-post here on occasion, but I will primarily be on Dreamwidth.
Dreamwidth has, for the next ten days, totally free registration instead of invite codes, so GO and make one. Move with us. If we as a fandom(s) relocate our comms, then fandom comes too. Let's stick together. Let's GET THE HELL OFF THIS SINKING SHIP, AMIRITE.
So, yep. I'm honooko @ DW. JOIN ME. There may be porn. :|b
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| I have too much time on my hands. |
[Thursday 17.2.11 @ 20:27pm] |
T-this may come as a shock to some of you, but I am actually a huge nerd.
I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEED TO TAKE A SECOND JUST TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS LIFE-ALTERING REVELATION.
Finished? Okay, awesome.
Animemories: A Podcast
Remember that series you watched in real media player when you were 13? And how awesome it was? This podcast is about revisiting those series' and deciding if they really deserved the affection we had for them. Good plot? Good characters? Or were you just easy to please?
First episode: Inuyasha 1-50!
Download the .wav here. 232.6 MB, 23 minutes.
Yes, there will be more. Please comment if you take it, I want to know your thoughts ON YAOI.
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[Friday 5.11.10 @ 23:07pm] |
ATTENTION!
If you have received an email from me with the subject line something like "check out my girlfriend's self-video!" do not open the email. I opened it after getting it from a friend (but did not click the enclosed link) and just opening the email spread it to me.
If you opened it, change your password and log out of your account. Run a virus scan.
Sorry for the trouble. =_=
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| Public post! |
[Saturday 27.2.10 @ 23:29pm] |
RE: readywithmusic.
Just to clarify some things, as a kind flister expressed concern that I'm stepping on toes: readywithmusic was not created to be competition with stillness_storm.
I have been a member of, and participant in, stillness_storm since its creation. I have and will continue to participate in challenges when I am able (hell, I just did this week.) It's a good comm that's been around the block a few times, and it's still going and still producing fantastic icons.
readywithmusic was created for a handful of reasons:
1. The first and biggest is that in every fandom I have been in before Arashi, there were at least four icontests which meant that I could make and submit icons all over the place. I am not, and never will be, cut out for LIMS contests, and stillness_storm is the only other active Arashi icontest I'm aware of.
2. stillness_storm is a stillness contest. readywithmusic will allow animated icons for specific challenges (I am still deciding whether every-other-challenge will work or not.)
3. There are aspects of stillness_storm that I would change, if I ran it. But since it's rude and unreasonable to suggest someone change the way their community is run, especially in ways that would make more work for the mods, I decided it would be better to make my own, run the way I would run it, and let that be that.
4. readywithmusic, as I mentioned above, is run differently. It allows 3 icons, to raise the entry count. I use a voting method that prevents icons from placing in more than one slot. Icons can, however, place in both the normal running, and a special category, as I think that certain icons deserve first AND 'best ____'. I will be handicapping my own entries in two ways: docking myself points automatically to lower my chances of placing, and should I place, I will not enter the next week's challenge.
As stated, these differences are things I did not feel I had any right suggesting to stillness_storm, as they change the structure of the community significantly.
I don't believe that readywithmusic will 'steal' iconmakers from stillness_storm, because iconmakers make icons. It shouldn't matter how many icontests there are; if you can make 2, you can make 5. We have different challenges, different deadlines, and different systems. We are different communities.
So please; take a look at stillness_storm AND readywithmusic. Join the challenges that inspire you. Vote for the icons that impress you. This isn't a popularity contest; this is just an attempt at opening up some new space for additional creativity. ♥
PS: I would really love to affiliate with stillness_storm, if they're interested? I need to send another PM, I think my first one gotten eaten...
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[Tuesday 22.12.09 @ 20:20pm] |
Post is public!
WHOEVER WROTE MY JE HOLIDAY FIC IS AWESOME.
I love it! THEATER! Dancing! OHMIYA! Sho's relief! AIBA AND TERRIBLE FOOD. Jun in charge! fjdshkjhjkfhkds. Everyone just go read it right now, okay. You won't regret it.
THANK YOU, ANON-SAN! ♥
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[Saturday 3.10.09 @ 10:48am] |
To people in US (and possibly Canada,)
I found out last night that an old and dear friend, Rob, was diagnosed at the end of July with an aggressive T-cell Lymphoma. Rob needs a bone marrow transplant to survive, and no one in his family is a match.
Rob is one of those people you just like. He's friendly and reliable. I have a voicemail on my phone that I have saved since December 31st, 2005, wishing me a happy new year. Rob is on the list of my big-brothers-who-aren't. And he is dying. He's 23.
Please, please. Visit Rob's site and find out if you are a bone marrow match. You might be the one to save his life.
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| Heat wave health warnings! |
[Monday 27.7.09 @ 12:20pm] |
ATTENTION ALL PACIFIC NORTHWEST RESIDENTS EXPERIENCING THE HEAT WAVE!
A large part of our region is on extreme heat alert. This means that some areas will be experiencing weather 92F~100F or higher over the coming week.
We're not used to this kind of weather, so I just want everyone to be really careful. I was born in Phoenix, and they taught me about heat exhaustion and heat stroke when I was a wee little thing. All of these are very dangerous conditions that should be watched for in yourself and in others. All of these conditions can cause confusion, meaning someone may be experiencing them without realizing it.
HEAT EXHAUSTION
Symptoms
* Heavy sweating
* Paleness
* Muscle cramps
* Fatigue
* Weakness
* Dizziness
* Headache
* Nausea/vomiting
* Fainting
If you are experiencing several of these symptoms, get out of the heat immediately. Go inside, ideally somewhere with AC. Drink some water (slowly!) or an electrolyte-rich sports drink and place a cool compress on the back or your neck or forehead. Lie down if you can. Heat exhaustion can easily lead to heat stroke, so be careful.
HEAT STROKE
Symptoms
* Same as Heat Exhaustion, only severe
* High body temp
* LACK of sweating (meaning you have officially run out of hydration)
* Red, flushed skin
* Rapid pulse
* Difficulty breathing
* Neurological symptoms (confusion, disorientation, hallucinations, agitation, strange behavior)
* Seizures
* Coma
Heat stroke is a serious medical emergency. If you see someone who may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911 immediately, as it can be fatal.
HYPONATREMIA (TOO MUCH WATER!)
Symptoms
* Confusion
* Lethargy
* Agitation
* Seizures
* Coma
Too much water can actually be fatal. Water is not a substance your body can absorb straight; it needs electrolytes like sodium, potassium, chloride, calcium and phosphate in order to process it. In hyponatremia, you lack enough electrolytes to take in the water, and the water basically poisons you. This condition is rare, and usually occurs when athletes drink too much water, but it can happen to people during extreme heat waves as well. Drink water, but also consider alternating glasses of water with Gatorade. Eat a banana; they're full of potassium. If you see someone who may be experience hyponatremia, call 911 immediately, as it can be fatal.
MOST IMPORTANTLY!
Please, please keep an eye on the people around you. These conditions often cause confusion, meaning the victim may not realize they are in trouble. If you see someone acting oddly or showing some of these symptoms, please stop and ask them if they're okay. There is unfortunate phenomena called the Bystander Effect: when in a group, people are less likely to offer help or aid to someone in need because they assume someone else will. This is not the case. If something seems off, don't walk away. Follow your gut; you just might save someone's life.
Feel free to link to this post, so others can be on alert!
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| Seriously. Cut it out. |
[Tuesday 26.5.09 @ 16:36pm] |
PET PEEVE:
"For Kami's sake" or "Thank Kami".
神, [kami]. (n) god; deity; divinity; spirit; kami.
Okay, I am not an expert on Japanese religion. But I did get a fair bit of studying during a Japanese culture class, on specific points. This was one of them. I am repeating it as it was explained to me, so if there is a discrepancy in the details, feel free to correct. This is just kind of an overall WHY YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS thing.
'Kami' is not a singular entity. You see, yes, the word can be translated as 'God'. But it doesn't mean the monotheistic God, it means 'god' in the sense of a title. Not a name, like the Western Judaeo-Christian 'God'. Kami are (NOTE THE PLURAL) a mixed concept. Because Japanese religious traditions are a mish-mash of Shinto and Buddhism (with a twist of Western traditions they think are shiny, like Christian style weddings) kami is a term that covers a lot. It can mean Shinto-style spirits (roughly correlating to the Western 'soul' concept, only not limited to humans) or specific Shinto gods (like Ameterasu), Buddhist-style Bodhisattva, etc. 'Kami' is a classification of being, not anyone specific.
'Kamisama' is a reference to a specific being, usually the one you are directly appealing to or (in some stories) appears before you. It's also a title, the way "Your Majesty" is a title; you call them that because it's respectful and their official title, not his name. When you are at a shrine, the shrine will often have a specific deity the shrine is for, and then when you pray, you're appealing to THAT SPIRIT.
I can understand people getting confused on this, because translations usually just substitute "Oh my god!" whenever a 'kami' reference is made, but the two are NOT INTERCHANGEABLE. Kami CAN refer to gods, but does not mean the same thing as the Western "God."
So please. Stop thinking you're all cool by inserting "kami" when you mean "God". It's really, really annoying.
MONOTHEISM, THIS IS NOT. >:/
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| JE Music Pimp! |
[Thursday 5.2.09 @ 15:16pm] |
Lu asked for my top 25 JE songs. I figured aside from Heavenly Psycho,  iverin had K8 covered, plus TOKIO, V6, and KinKi Kids, so here I am with a few senpai, a few kouhai, and mostly My Boys.
I am nothing if not predictable. XD
All are upped on MU, with a full zip at the end. Some of the files are m4a as I ripped them directly and didn't at the time realize my iTunes was set to rip as m4a instead of mp3. They should still play, but if you have any trouble, let me know.
( 25 Top JE Song!Collapse )
FULL ZIP FILE: Here!
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| Arashi families. |
[Tuesday 16.9.08 @ 22:07pm] |
EDITx2: I haven't updated this post in a long time. Many corrections have been offered in the comments; I'm updating now, but PLEASE READ THE COMMENTS BEFORE OFFERING YOUR OWN CORRECTION! It might already be there.
EDIT: Now public!
still_ciircee posted some SUPER AWESOME FICBITS here and mentioned that she only knew Aiba's little brother's name. I randomly have a lot of information about their families, so!
Sho's Family
Sho's father is Sakurai Shuuji(sp?), a politician. His mother we believe is Sakurai Yuko (sp?) (Chiyo and I went on a google-fu spree), a professor of English Lit at a women's college (this was the name of a professor of English Lit at a women's college in Tokyo; I don't remember the name of the school anymore, sorry!) His younger sister is five years younger; her name is Mai, and she's done some print modeling. She works at NHK They look very similar! His younger brother Shu is 13 years younger than him. Apparently the Sakurai family have a tradition of naming their boys to all have the intials S.S. Shu is apparently a big Aiba fan. XD
Ohno's Family
Ohno's mom is awesome. Also they look very similar, apparently. His sister Mina is two years older than him; she had a baby (a girl!) in 2006, but I'm not sure if she's married/moved out. EDIT: She is indeed married! Ohno's father is hardly ever mentioned; he's a standard business man of some sort. XD They are all pretty close from the sounds of it, and Ohno spends a lot of time just hanging out with his parents. They kick his ass at Wii Bowling on semi-regular basis.
Aiba's Family
Aiba's mom is kind of amazing too. Aiba's family owns a Chinese Restaurant, and Aiba's father (Katsuhisa) is the head chef. His mom (Makio) is the head hostess. Aiba's younger brother is two four years younger, and his name is Yuusuke. He was allegedly demonic as a kid. He's in training to take over the restaurant so Aiba won't have to. Aiba doesn't live at home anymore, but he goes back to visit a lot.
Nino's Family
Nino's parents got divorced before he joined JE, but we're not sure of exact dates. He lives with his mother (who's name is Kazuko; lol with me fandom) and his sister, who is older by 2 years, has moved out (but seems to come home a lot, because again, Nino mentions her ALL THE TIME XD.) They are a really dorky family, and Nino's nikki entries about them usually have an air of OH MY GOD I AM RELATED TO CRAZY PEOPLE. It's pretty fantastic. His father is/was a professor of Japanese cuisine at a culinary school, which is apparently how Nino ended up with Kitchen Skills. EDIT: And according to a recent interview, his mother was his father's head assistant, hence how they met/ended up getting married. He described it as "forbidden love." XD By Nino's own admission, he's not particularly close to anyone on his father's side of the family, father included. His house is attached to a factory owned by his maternal grandfather that makes windshield wiper arms. EDIT: Nino is also the only boy in his generation of the family, which is also kind of hilarious. Anyone who knows The Only Boy In A Family Of Women probably gets what I mean. XD
Jun's Family
Jun is the most tight-lipped about his family out of all of them. He grew up with his mother, father, and sister (2 years older), but that's pretty much all we know. He moved into his own apartment a few years ago, so he and Aiba are the only ones who don't live with their parents.
So, yes. Everything I know about Arashi's families!
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| Fic wishlist meme! |
[Wednesday 28.5.08 @ 21:35pm] |
Have you ever just wanted to write someone something, but have no idea of what they would like? Maybe you want to surprise them, and asking them for a request would take the fun out of it. Even better, you could have all of your favorite fic ideas out there so when you're having a bad day, your friends could just pick from the list and brighten it up.
The Fic Wish List Meme
Ganked from agirlcalledkil; check out her list too!
Rules: List 1-10 pairings/prompts that you have been dying to read. Maybe it's a really rare pairing or something you've requested on any of the past smut memes which haven't been fulfilled. When you see this posted on your friends' journals, you may do one of the following:
- Write it.
- Link to one that's already been written, whether by you or someone else.
- Nothing, but karma will get you. >_>
There are no length or rating limits, and prompts may be duplicated (PLEASE). Be specific in your prompts particularly in reference to preferred smut content, seme/uke order, and any other requirements that may hinder your appreciation of the fic.
There is no deadline for this, but once your ten prompts have been written to your satisfaction you are welcome to make a new post starting over. You may write your own prompts if you want. If your tastes change, you can certainly switch out one prompt for another at any time.
( HERE WE GO...Collapse )
♥ Kil's List
♥ Bei's List
♥ Deni's List
♥ Pixi's List
♥ Kari's List
♥ Cyn's List
♥ Kami's List
♥ Whitney's List
♥ Ankh's List
♥ Kate's List
♥ Beeve's List
♥ Jo's List
♥ Gwynn's List
♥ Kya's List
♥ Iris' List
♥ Liz's List
♥ Anmi's List
♥ Anamuan's List
♥ JadedFrenzy's List
♥ Maya Morning's List
♥ Pero's List
♥ ThaWrecka's List
♥ Yamapea's List
♥ Tiina's List
♥ Erica's List
♥ Andii's List
LINK ME TO YOURS TOO, GUYS. ♥
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| PSA: Arashi |
[Wednesday 27.9.06 @ 9:38am] |
SON OF EDIT: Feel free to link this post! The point is to pimp to others, so no need to ask! :D
EDIT: Updated May 30, 2008!
Once upon a time in February ‘06  umbrellaofdoom linked me to a video on youtube, because she touted it as "the gheiest dance there ever was". Anyway, long story short, I fell in love with a Japanese boyband. But not just any boyband; these boys sing, dance, act (in movies, TV, AND stage), as well as many other things that are too numerous to list in the preface.
Yes. There are parts. I recommend taking copious notes; there will be a quiz at the end of the lesson.
Arashi has stolen my heart and raped my wallet through their ability to be sexy AND dorky. Plus? They are genuinely nice boys. As you will see.
But first, the key to any boyband; PICSPAMS!
( i. the real reason Arashi is so damn popular.Collapse )
( ii. so, tell me! WHO ARE THOSE HANDSOME BOYS?!Collapse )
( iii. repeat after me: FANSERVICE!Collapse )
( iv. but really, folks. it's all about the music.Collapse )
( v. tv will melt your brain, unless it improves your Japanese!Collapse )
( vi. when all else fails, SPAM.Collapse )
( vii. i told you there'd be a quiz.Collapse )
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[Monday 19.6.06 @ 18:30pm] |
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| freewrite + motto = incoherance TO THE MAX! |
[Saturday 4.2.06 @ 19:12pm] |
Man, nothing ruins an evening like bad yaoi. Really bad yaoi.
I have made absolutely no progress on essay #2, so I'm going to free-write in this entry to... I don't know. Work it out, I suppose.
The prompt is to choose and discuss a quotation or personal motto that "reflects your values and beliefs and tells us something about the kind of person you are." And since I actually have a motto, it shouldn't be this hard. But it is, because how do I explain why it means so much to me?
I don't want to tell the story that caused this motto. It's pointless, and I've told it enough as is. And I'll admit, a big part of my reluctance has to do with not wanting that woman to have anything to do with my sucess.
No regrets. No regrets. It means never doubting yourself, even when everyone else does. It means accepting the past, no matter how painful. It means making choices for yourself, because it's your life. It's about taking responsiblity for what you've done, because life doesn't have a 'reset' button. It means that "step nine" becomes completely irrelevant. It means that given the chance, you would live your life exactly the same way.
But at the same time, it doesn't mean 'I never make mistakes'. Because I do; I'm only human. I've screwed up before, and I'll screw up again. I can't predict the future, and I don't pretend to be infalible. But I won't waste time wishing I could take it back and prevent the error, because what would I have learned? Nothing. I've seen down the path that leads to regret, and I got off it.
It's about balance. I will make mistakes, but I will grow from the experience. It's about acceptance. I can't do it over again, so I won't wish that I could. It's about self, because in the end, that's all I really have that's truly mine. I only get one shot at living, at being myself, and I refuse to waste it.
I've not struggled like some people. I haven't suffered like some people. But I'm not some people, and I've had enough dark times to know that I don't want to go back there. I refuse to go back.
'No regrets' means I don't need to beg forgiveness to be happy; as long as I forgive myself. But mostly? It means exactly what it says.
I regret nothing. And I always will.
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