| zooooooooooom... home |
[02 Nov 2002|01:23am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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yea... just got home from leah's... tis late
wonder if catched? point is... im bored, sorta tired, and dreading what the future has to offer. Today I sufficiently assified myself, all good on that front... i think leah's dad is pissed off tho, he kicked me out... oh well, it was late anyways... ill elminate the evidence/witnesses later if needed...
can see it now... oooh the colors..
wait..
ok.
so this is my first post in a while
who knows of a really good web hosting service, and/or is good at graphic art... yea, i need some o' that info/talent [respectively]...
god i love scaring people... =)
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[06 Oct 2002|05:20pm] |
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wow i need to clean my room
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[06 Oct 2002|11:21am] |
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mood |
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Squash it, mash it, love it |
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does anyone out there know gradient lines (graphics)? you know... a line where it changes gradually from one color to another... yea
thats probably the best metaphor for life and change ive ever seen.
just look at one of those lines and wonder how many times your life has gone through that same dip and rise pattern. up and down. thats just a repeating journey, i can see it happening again too. In my life, im prolly right at the peak of the upward climb i think... or right over the hump and on the descent... its hard to tell... now that i think about it, you cant classify one entire life by a single track gradient line... that doesnt work... if there are layers thatll work... certain things in my life are goin great and others not so great... im just ranting, figured this is as good a place as any to do it, who out there knows some good anime's? god i need to fix some stuff
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[02 Oct 2002|08:08pm] |
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yousa stankin... i still need that code... i gotta get unhappy again so's i can write more stuff
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[23 Sep 2002|10:53pm] |
Dear Ibis,
I jack off.
Love,
Matt
P.S. Hourly.
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[23 Sep 2002|08:25pm] |
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Defeat
=====
Today I have lost.
I have not been beaten.
Today I have been stolen from.
I have given away my pride.
Today I am my own worst enemy.
I have crushed myself.
Today desire was my only friend.
Now I have no friends.
Today the fires of my soul were
Smothered. I threw the blanket
Myself.
Today I am my own downfall.
My bridge of strength has collapsed.
Today I have allowed the wrecking
Ball to strike the fortified walls of heart.
Today my aim was true,
But the strength behind it was not.
Today my need has faltered.
Victory has slipped from my grasp.
Never again.
Shall I be my own worst enemy.
The inferno of my soul will be rekindled.
Today my desire must survive.
I must survive.
Today I prepare.
Tomorrow I will steal back my pride.
Today I have fallen.
Tomorrow I will rise.
Today I am nothing.
Tomorrow I will be everything.
Tomorrow.
I will have victory.
=============================
If you have ever lost in something and realized that the only reason you have lost is because you just didnt want victory bad enough, this is what this poem is about. Today at wrestling practice I probably wrestled the most crucial matches in my life. I wrestled an unspoken rival and lost. I was not beaten, I lost. I had victory in my grasp and I let go. This shouldn't be crushing, but I realized today that the only thing holding me back was myself. I didn't want it enough. I just gave up. This has happened too much in my life. I will never back down again. If I want to go to states this year, I can never back down. If I want to keep my pride and my worth I can never back down. I've found my motivation. My path is clear again. I dare you to stand in my way, either you will follow me to destiny, or be trampled under me. For anyone who has ever wrongfully lost and regretted it... This is for you. I finally understand what I have been doing wrong. I need to destroy my limits and push past them. Only then will I become more, not less than what I was before.
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| The Quest |
[22 Sep 2002|01:08pm] |
I dont like this, dont like this at all... im being sucked back into you livejournal... damn you...
well if you cant beat em... piss em off
I have an idea, a quest if you will. I need a LJ invite code...
I propose this, I make a new lj and then you people try to find it... eventually if you dont find it ill let you know what it was, and that will probably become my new lj, but yea... comment your thoughts
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[21 Sep 2002|01:43am] |
xiang huo ya yang
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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[20 Sep 2002|11:53pm] |
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i just got back from the kill hannah show and a "party"
party, just a bunch of idiots sitting around, i was glad and sad at the same time to be there... yea, it feels so good to be back in the scene... well im not really in the scene, but show hoppin is definitely my thing again
once again i find myself thankin erez... bitch... i needed that show, never thought id like kill hannah but i do, bastards.. hahaha erez shoulda gone after that kid though, woulda been foony
enough of this, leave me
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[18 Sep 2002|08:19pm] |
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Yea, we are doin "poetry" in english class... bummer.. cept i got to write this:
Homage to My Ears
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I like my ears.
They multiply my mirth.
Wings of my head,
They fly me through life.
Like sonar operators
They guide me through danger.
Fortified waxy bunkers.
Q-Tip spelunking adventures.
I like my ears.
Wagging like a dog's tongue,
They bring smiles to faces.
Big foldable ornaments,
They call attention to my head.
Bells of excitement,
Vibrating tunes of joy.
I like my ears.
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[17 Sep 2002|06:11pm] |
hmm today was a really really bad day, not really so sure why, but i dont think im gonna post so often as i said, i got other plans... either way its time for other things, go away
this song sucks
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[16 Sep 2002|06:15pm] |
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yea, fuck this... i dont want things to back to what they were
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| Bam |
[16 Sep 2002|05:36pm] |
things arent quite going the way i thought they would, oh well. this is going to be either a very interesting or very aggravating few weeks. on the other hand, im gonna start updating this shit again... WOOHOO! yea, whatever. the last few day's ive been in a really weird mood. emotionless i might said, the most spike in emotion ive had in the last week was when erez came over, which is wierd. guess cause i havent talked to him in a long time, glad we finally did something... regardless -
Don't cross me.
Not a threat, just a warning, too weird a mood. i need wrestling season to start, this is a dangerous mood. The dismantling may start soon. You know, nobody knows what that is, cept maybe erez or justin. HAH! thats rich! justin having anything to do with whats going on. haven't talked to that guy in a year... yea, if anyone out there knows who justin sivret is tell him matt says hi. (wonder if he would get mad that his name is on here?) hmm this thing makes me angry..
i definitely need to crack down on myself, i can feel my resolution slipping, i dont have the strength of will that i want to have. i got some goals that i need to follow through.. if anyone can help id both appreciate and hate the help, so if you want to encourage someone for no reason, im your man. anyway, ive given away more than this blog pos deserves to posess in writing... screw you lj.. yea bite me (not literally, there's been enough of that already)
cya
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| wow you suck |
[15 Sep 2002|03:54am] |
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you suck, all of you... im not angry, wasnt then... arnnnneeerrt now.. dun get angry, dun get sad, dun get happy... hmmm.. just am... anyone know why?
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| BAM SHAKEDOWN! |
[04 Sep 2002|09:56pm] |
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After an enthusiastic ebonics fest with leah, i read ibis' post... :D wooooey, always knew you had it in you... but it does sorta detract from that surprise torturing i wa... err yea... i still got a chance... yea... well at least they know that im beautiful, on the inside, and yes people i am... more beautiful than your dog, more beautiful than you... so booya! anyway... major props to ibis, and her final stand against that which is untouchable (cause of that thing where if you reach too low you start tearin stuff...)... anyways... too manys of this, first post in a long time... yea, sleep time is now
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| blagh.. time to get my act together |
[03 Apr 2002|12:52am] |
blagh is right.... ive gotten off track... need to start essay soon... dont know why posting... hate posting meaningful shit... dont believe in it... but anyway....
blast is over... good and bad....
good in that now i get sleep!!
bad in that now i may lose the friends i made there...
got to talk to some real cool people... adi and gary were there.. good stuff.. but i also met/finally talked to a number of other people...
leah, dina, davni, shira, matt, carl, hannah, haha and mundie...
kinda makes me angry that i wont be seeing too much of you guys anymore... i propose a techie reunion, aye
thats wat needs to happen... anyway, comment if you wanna see this happen... or take the more direct and efficient approach and actually talk to me
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| In these Interesting times.... |
[10 Mar 2002|11:05am] |
several things are happening...
one: the freedom, leisure, and boredom of spring break is ending
two: the hellish regimented schedule, hopefully sterilized hallways, angry disgruntled teachers, bullies with no agena and plots to take over the world with nothing other than a bent spoon and a piece of soiled cheese resume
three: the semi-summer entity known only as Spring is about to hit like a truck with no brake fluid and a fat, sleeping drunkard with suspenders locked in a losing struggle to keep his belly in check behind the wheel
tree-fitty: for some reason... the above situation is making people happy... gawd dom thawt monstah!!!
four: people are a lot easier to deal with but are getting slipperier as te fight for academic survival nears.
five: favors are done without knowing that they are being done... by the giver or the receiver... the effects are being felt, but the cause not acknowledged
six: i have begun to post once more
there is more happening behind the scenes of course.. but those are just my observations about whats been going on this spring break and how its coming to an end... a few of those happen constantly no matter what time of the year it is but its noticeable now more
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| Stinky Monkeys are the Bomb Diggity and You caint do darn noofin BOUT it.! |
[26 Feb 2002|07:59pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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agh... me am tired as shit... in 20 minutes i will start my homework... i should say numerous projects... practice was hell monday, then sliightly less hellish today... but tomorrow it should leave me without so much as a limb to support myself.. but thats ok cause ill "bite yer legs awff!!".....................................................................................................................................................................................................................oh ya...i remember.. so this weekend, since there is nothing else to talk aboot... blegh... on saturday i went to baskin robins.. for those of you who dont know... thats the harlem globetrotters game in my book...yep yep.. no contest dood.... then it was off to jack's hoose for sparring....it degenerated into a dogfight with him flailing and me choking him when i got him on the ground.... damn i shouldnt spar on tile floors...then after that i went to burger king and had a shitty whopper (went to a show... it sucked arse....) and during this outting i went to mcdonalds (had a sandwich)...that was decent... so after dat and the rest of the stinkocious events of the outing... i went home to find out i missed a semi oky party... that we decided not to go to cause... agh i have no idea... we were imagining everyone passed out so we could stomp on them and put stuff on their faces/pile them and run into the pile... so after i got home from that shizite... gary called... he had adi and the other, inferior (mwhahahaha i know your reading this matt!)... then ibis entered into the convo and it resulted in none of us getting any sleep and me narrating my "reading" of the new si swimsuit issue to them and the playing of a serial killer's dream game (American McGee's ALICE)... that went well... so the next morning... burger king... the real one mind you... now lack-of-sleep induced psychosis set in just about when i got me food... DAMN those hashbrowns had plots... so the hashbrowns warred with my sandwich... and i used a coffee stirrer to inflate them with orange juice... making them "surprise" bombs... hahaha the people at burger king think im crazy now and since we spent over 2 FRIGGIN hours there... they prolly will only let us do drive through now... mwahaha their loss... it was great tho... and that be me err weekend...
so yea... i gotta do hw now and im tired as shit... so bye other people out there who spend time on this scheith
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