Right then.
Originally I made a video post about this, because I didn't feel like I could fully express how angry, upset and disappointed I am right now in writing, but the sound was shitty, so I suppose writing will have to do.
Most of you know that I created a community together with
nahara to say thanks to the creator of this round of Merlin Big Bang. We were aware that due to not making it a general 'thanks to
all the mods', there would probably be a bit of wank. This is fandom, after all, and lately Merlin fandom seems to have gotten increasingly wanky for some reason.
Now, I tend to stay out of it, because mostly I'm not directly involved and I really think it's a waste of time to just spew hateful nonsense about other people just in order to make you feel good about yourself. I have been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour far more times than I like to think of, and thus I have never done it myself. I think it's childish, immature and quite frankly, absolutely disgusting. That kind of behaviour belongs, if anywhere at all, in an environment populated by children.
And I'm sorry to say, but as far as I know, the majority of Merlin fandom consists of adults.
As adults, I think it's relatively safe to assume that we're beyond that kind of hideous behaviour where we can't perform selfless acts. To threaten someone with wank in their personal journal because you feel like we're favourising some over others? Is disgusting and selfish.
If people were to bother actually reading the intro post, it is noted that we did not create the community in order to make others feel bad or as if their job hasn't mattered in this.
We created it to thank the one person who decided to take on something as massive and complicated as a Big Bang fest. The amount of planning that goes into that and the hours one needs to spend to make it all even remotely possible to pull of, are insane. And that's even before actually starting the sodding thing.
I am well aware that without the additional mods, this fest would not at all have gone as well as it have. I have... issues, with how some things have been handled, but I going to take those up at large when the entire thing is over and done with and there will (hopefully) be a post asking for feedback as to how we, as participants, have found the experience to be.
We recognised that they had done a tremendous job as well, but this community was never about that. It was about the person who made sure we had a fest at all. We weren't thanking her for working harder or more than others, because we have no idea how this thing has gone down. The community was created to just say thanks for even starting it, for providing us with the possibility of creating wonderful epics for all of fandom to enjoy.
To have people then ruin that due to sour grapes is just hideous. That some are not being able to see further than the tip of their own noses, just leaves me speechless and with a bitter taste in my mouth.
I have no regrets, and I would happily leave the community be and fight for it, but not on the cost of someone else's well-being and happiness. I am not going to keep it up if it ends up causing more misery than joy.
So, anon. Well done. I hope you're proud of yourself and your behaviour. I hope you're happy to have made sure that we're now once again left wondering if there'll even be a Big Bang next year. Thumbs up to you. I sure can't imagine anyone wanting to take over after this amount of bullshit.
I'm leaving this post public. If you have anything to say to me? Say it. I do not offer the safety of anonymous comments in my journal. If you are angry and upset enough to want to offer your two cents, then I'm all ears. But I want to know who you are.
I am not going to defend what I did, because there was no malicious intent in it.
I
will however apologise for inadvertedly hurting people though, if that is the case. Like I said, that was
never my intention, and neither was it
nahara's. This was supposed to be a fun thing and a happy thing and a chance for people to show appreciation. Not hate.
I won't be participating in the next Big Bang (if there will even be one), and I am considering taking a break from Merlin fandom, because frankly, the wank just seems to get crazier and bigger. What happened to the little joyous fandom I joined in 2008 after watching the first episode of a series about a goofy wizard and a pratty prince with a heart of gold? I miss the old times, guys. And I'm sad that it has come to this.
Fandom is supposed to be the place where we escape from the let-down RL sometimes turns out to be. It's not supposed to be a breeding ground for contempt and elitist behaviour or to be a place where people are afraid to speak their mind or be honest because other people might attack them.
And on that note, before you go and attack
nahara, that comm? Was my idea. And for those who are blaming
the_muppet? She had no idea and she played no part in it. So if you have a problem? Take it up with me. Thanks.
