Title: You can always count on me
Author: Helen
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Stiles/Derek
Rating: R
Size: 2,132
Warnings: Rape and graphic sexual violence.
Summary: “It gets old,” Stiles says softly. “wanting.”

Tags: fuckups & tryhards

Title: In quiet, a favor
Author: Helen
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Stiles/Derek
Rating: R
Size: 12,622
Summary: “You like happy endings, huh?” Stiles says, lying pressed in against his back, sliding his fingers along the edge of Derek’s chest, along his ribs and up his sternum.

Tags: fuckups & tryhards, tumblrcepted

Story idea, it can never work between us. Frankly, you make no sense, and you're just too much work. There are other stories in my life and I can't commit to you, but that doesn't mean that I won't think of you often, and very fondly. It just isn't mean to be.

( OKAY, SO. TEEN WOLFCollapse )

Tags: fuckups & tryhards

So I signed up for Pinterest primarily because I needed some way to collect pictures of cute animals and super elaborate, beautiful craft projects I will never do with my children (craft projects in my house go like this:

HEY MAN, I HEARD YOU LIKE BOXES SO I CUT UP THIS BOX FOR YOU, NOW IMMA POUR PAINT ON IT AND YOU'RE GONNA RUN YOUR TRUCKS THROUGH IT UNTIL YOU START RUNNING THEM ALL OVER THE WALLS AND THE RUG AND I'M LIKE HOLY FUUUUULLLUUUFFFFF, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP.)

but you have to have either a twitter or a facebook account to sign up and I am still a facebook refusenick, so I signed up for twitter, so. here is a thing I'm going to do for five minutes until I get shy, distracted, or weirded out and abandon it. People of twitter: tell me what to do with it! I have already discovered that I am way too wordy for this format, so perhaps it is an exciting exercise in being concise?

Okay, the real truth is that I am going to graduate school and having to study flips some weird, frantic, MUST PROCRASTINATE ON THE INTERNET switch in my head, thus Pinterest, thus Twitter, thus I really should just accept that I'm going to have to sign up for Facebook because people in my class are organizing cocktail parties through the facebook group, and....I mean, obviously, I have no interest in a facebook account, but I ALSO really don't want to miss opportunities to get my drink on with a bunch of twenty-somethings.

Tags: new media

Title: Good Intentions
Author: Helen
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Stiles/Derek
Rating: P...G?
Size: 2600
Summary: “Yeah,” Derek says.
Notes: This is kind of an AU based on the first five episodes and that thing that happens when you are all do not even start with me, Teen Wolf, just don't! and then Teen Wolf starts with you anyway! And is all remember how you loved Buffy and Xander and Willow? We got one guy who is ALL THREE of those things! PLUS a mysterious grouchy loner who yells a lot and has manpain and needs hugs! How you like me now?

Also I was tumblrcepted.

Tags: do not even start with me, tumblrcepted

Teen Wolf, AAGGHHHH. All my precious plans to be productive and finish old stories are currently totally derailed by TEEN WOLF. You can probably stop reading now because I have absolutely nothing original to say on this matter, and I know 90% of people had these revelations, say, a year ago, but I'm here now and so I'm just going to say it:

1. STILES, UGH, STOP. I love you, obviously. You are wonderful. Please never stop!

2. An actual real conversation:

Me: Derek Hale, what is his deal! Why is he always standing around in the misty snowy fields of California with his legs like that?
The Bandit: Because he is MYSTERIOUS and TORTURED, catch up!
Natty Bumppo, appearing out of his bedroom: What're you doing? Are you watching a big person show? I need socks/my hair itches/I have a boo-boo on my elbow/I need to use the potty/I need water.

3. I assume that Derek Hale and Lex Luthor will be fast friends when they meet at court mandated counseling for dudes in their twenties that lurk around high schools and take an unsettling interest in the affairs of young dudes.

4. Scott McCall: complete idiot, or most realistic portrait of a teenage horndog ever committed to stage and/or screen?

5. Stiles.

Title: Patience
Author: Helen
Fandom: The Eagle/Eagle of the Ninth
Pairing: Marcus/Esca
Rating: R
Size: 1700
Summary: “You could have been my slave,” Esca says once.
Notes: Yes, I had only one idea in this fandom.

Tags: channing potatoes, historical accuracy

MAGIC. MIKE.

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Tags: channing potatoes, i need a moment, magic mike

Title: Courage
Author: Helen
Fandom: The Eagle/Eagle of the Ninth
Pairing: Marcus/Esca
Rating: R
Size: 2400
Summary: He'd thought all that remained was for one of them to find the courage to ask.

Tags: 80%ers, channing potatoes, historical accuracy

Title: Family
Author: Helen
Fandom: Inception
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R or so
Size: 3309
Summary: For moms and dads and all the people you become that you swore you never would.
Notes: You know how you start to write a story with an idea, and somehow it only really makes it 80 percent of the way there, so you drop it to come back to later. When you come back, you have a different idea that's going to fix everything, but it doesn't, it just becomes another story that's 80 percent of the way there. I've decided to make a concerted effort to finish and put up some of these poor little stories, even though no matter how I pull and tug I can never get them past 80%.

Tags: 80%ers, i know