Pendulum Days – Afraid – 09

v

It was cold in the forest. The rain from the previous day had collected in hidden pockets that revealed themselves to Zachary, and very much to his feet, as he ran. Yet he noticed life all around him, which comforted him somewhat. Something felt different in the forest compared to the other day. Birds fluttered in the canopy above, squirrels darted up the smaller branches carrying their precious cargo for the winter months ahead. A cluster of butterflies danced in looping patterns in a light‑drenched clearing where bushes and flowers burst from the ground. Although the creatures moved out of his way, they seemed to be urging him forward into battle.

Zachary thought about all the animals the monster must have eaten in its lifetime here in the forest. The meat from the offerings could not possibly last it through an entire year. This was not just his fight.

Charging deeper into the trees and the thickening forest, he saw Hep stop up ahead. Zachary rushed forward to see what had caught his friend’s attention. There, on a patch of ground, lay a tiny bell and chain, covered in blood and nestled among soaking leaves. The blood was as dark as the mud coating the damp foliage around it. Such a tiny thing. His mind travelled back to when Rachel had first put the bell on the cat, how irritating the tinkling had been at first with each step of its paw.

Over time, the sound had faded into the background noise of the house, like so many others you eventually block out. Wiping off the blood, he put the tiny bell and chain into his pocket and carried on. Hep sprinted beside him, avoiding potholes and other traps the forest offered to unsuspecting visitors, his dog’s instincts guiding him better than Zachary’s own.

He saw the cave up ahead. It loomed much larger now in light of what had happened. Inside dwelled the creature that had shaken his life out of the mundane yet safe world he had enjoyed only days before. As he approached, he wondered what others would do. What would his friends do about a monster? He was scared. He wanted someone beside him, someone to hold his hand and steady his trembling heart. He had Hep, and he had determination. For now, that had to be enough.

He approached the mouth of the cave, which today looked like a giant serpent stretched across the grey rock, its forked tongue waiting to ensnare him the moment he stepped between its fangs.

As he entered, Zachary caught his arm on one of the jagged rocks that jutted up like teeth from the cave wall. Warm blood flowed in a tepid stream down his arm, soaking beneath his shirt. He stood motionless, letting the blood drip from his fingertips onto the floor. Hep looked at his hand and then at the ground where the droplets vanished into the wet earth like tears from a ghost. Zachary had stood there too long, mesmerised by the trickling blood and the sound of the wind around him.

He felt light‑headed. Subconsciously, he was delaying what he had to do for as long as possible. Snapping back into reality, he stepped away from the edge of his hesitation and allowed the cave to swallow him as he reached into his bag for the knife.

The monster was awake, as he knew it would be. The smell of his blood had reached its nostrils within seconds. Its feverish eyes glowed like the vampires his sister had told him about when he was younger. But those were just stories, tales in books meant to entertain and frighten before being closed and placed on a shelf away from the living. A stake through the heart, that was how to kill vampires. Garlic and crucifixes. Werewolves needed silver bullets. Mythical monsters that could be vanquished with simple objects, easily obtained from his father’s tool shed or the kitchen.

Loss was a monster he had never learned how to defeat. Loneliness was another, one that arched around your heart and suffocated your mind. Death was a creature he did not yet know, and he was not sure he ever wanted to meet it.

Suddenly the creature shifted its weight to one side, revealing the treasure it possessed in the cave. Splinters of light seeped through cracks in the walls from places he could not see. The hazy confines of the cave were dull, but he could make out a body. Rachel seemed asleep, or unconscious. A closer look would have revealed a raised, bloody bump on her head, indicating the latter. With a sigh, the creature heaved its weight back, covering its prize with tangled fur and shabby hair. The trophy had been displayed. Now the players needed to set the rules.

“What is it you want?” Zachary asked, his voice bouncing off the cave walls, diminishing into a dragged‑out echo. All he could hear was the monster’s breathing, the rise and fall of its great weight.

“What is it you want!” he shouted, the words cracking with fury.

The anger shook his bones. He wanted his sister back. He wanted to be anywhere but here. Hep barked from outside, provoked by the shouting. The dog had not followed him inside; something had kept him away. Above Zachary’s head, a red mist was gathering, a miasma oozing out of the pockets of the cave. He felt dizzy again. His arm throbbed. The monster moved toward him. He slashed at it frantically in the thickening air. He struck something, its arm perhaps. His own wound seared with sudden pain as fresh blood flowed from the cut, gushing down his fingertips.

The shape loomed in front of him. He could smell the unwashed, rank odour of decay. Something grabbed his hand, a giant paw with claws. Their arms were held out in front of them, hand to paw, fingers to claw in an open‑palm connection. Then his arm stopped hurting. A smooth, cooling sensation trickled down it, as if someone were pouring cold milk from his fingertips.

He tried to speak, but then there was blackness. His legs gave way beneath him.

Outside, Hep continued to bark.


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THE CLOSING OF TIME

 

And when I woke, my eyes were blinded.
By a sight I could not see.
My heart had broken, and you reminded
me of all that could not be.


DISCOVER

St. Sebastian’s was an unusually large church for the neighbourhood. From a distance it towered over the roofs of Lower Berg in Trent County, its gothic spire spearing up into the heavens like a finger pointing to God. It nestled between the local community centre and the freedom park which swarmed around it like a coiled snake. Inside, steps echoed cavernously off the stone walls, clomping up to the rafters where the pigeons dwelled. It was like most churches, cold and inhospitable, yet cloaked in a hypocrisy of asking you to stay. And stay I did, for nearly two years. Two years of soul searching and looking for God under every pew and in each line of the bible. Yet it was only after a few months that the church walls began to shrink and close in on me, turning the space into a small box decorated with righteous words and divine lies. Little did I know how that would change.

I had moved from a small town called Twinsbrook, north of the city. Relocated by the bishop to the border diocese where St. Sebastian’s dwelled. I had loved my little church. Full of small-town problems and alive with change that could be seen, the change and growth that I had been a part of. The move to the city really had been a big fish from a little pond scenario, and if I had my way, I would not have moved at all. But we go where we are needed, and after the incident here at St. Sebastian’s, it was time for new blood and a fresh face. The bishop had been cagey about the move, though I had read all about it in the papers. The church is never truly transparent, and he made it seem that this was a huge opportunity for me, not the damage control that was really taking place.

I had my own doubts of course, but who is not riddled by worry and uncertainty. Even those in God’s profession. It was not just the move to the city that bothered me, or leaving my little church and the lives I had touched that troubled my spirit. It was this dark feeling that had settled in my bones, like a cloud had come across my life and threatened not just rain, but a great flood to wash everything away. The great flood that drowned the unrighteous and rebooted the planet. Was I to sink or swim.


 

 

From the newly revised version of ‘The Gospel of No One’

Pendulum Days – Afraid – 08

iv

In his bed, Zachary was afraid. He was afraid for his family, his dog, and himself. He knew the monster had returned about ten minutes ago; he had heard the rustling in the trees and a soft thud as the creature must have sat down in the same place as before. He pulled the covers further up toward his chin. Rain continued to trickle down the windowpane. He imagined the monster looking up at his room with those tiny eyes, black like the vacant gaps of sky in the dead of night.

Hep was on the other side of his bed, deep in sleep. Zachary was exhausted, his eyes ached, and he had not slept at all. What should he do? He concentrated on his heartbeat, the hollow thuds followed by the delayed pause before the next. The beats pounded in his ears. A brief streak of light flashed across his vision, illuminating the room for an instant, followed by the slow creaking rumble of thunder, as if some giant beast were emerging from a grotesque tomb. What could he do?

Gathering enough energy, he got out of bed and moved toward the window. Rain thumped against the pane and sent a river of water plummeting down the glass. He looked outside and saw the looming shadow of the monster retreating into the woods. It was going away, no doubt to escape the bad weather, perhaps back to the cave. A large dent in the grass and dirt showed where it had sat, the patch drier than the surrounding ground. Dark flecks, like oil spots, littered the area beneath where it had rested. Blood, he thought, concerned. He would tell his parents in the morning. His sister was in danger, Hep was in danger, and he was frightened.

“Morning, dear,” his mum called as he neared the last step on the stairs.

“Morning,” his dad echoed from the kitchen. “How is Hep today, does he need the bandage changed?”

Stepping into the kitchen, Zachary felt a chill rise from the cold slate floor.

“Morning. I think it is a lot better today,” he said, making a mental note that he would actually have to check when he went back upstairs. Grabbing some toast, he pulled a plate toward him and sat at the table. His mum was finishing the remains of a fluffy pastry that crumbled onto the plate beneath her. His dad was washing dishes at the sink.

“You had better wake Rachel up. You two need to leave in about half an hour,” his father said, scrubbing away. Saturday. The village market. It had slipped his mind completely.

“I am pretty much ready to go, so just waiting for you two,” his dad added, placing a bowl next to him for cereal.

“Ok, I will wake her in a bit. Mum, Dad, I need to talk to you about something.” His dad took a seat opposite him while his mother turned her attention fully toward him, the pastry gone.

“What is it about?” his mother asked. Concern sharpened her voice.

“Well, I know what happened to Hep, and it was not anything in the yard he caught himself on.” Zachary replied. For the first time in ages, he noticed how old his father looked. Lines around his eyes framed the conscious stare coming from within, and a tired but friendly smile rested on his face. “He was attacked by a monster I found in the woods the other day. It followed me home and I gave it some food. I think it attacked, and maybe ate, Snowflake, but it hurt Hep for sure.”

He waited for them to laugh, to tell him he was being ridiculous, to scold him for silly stories so early in the day.

Saying the words aloud seemed to cleanse him of the poison the secret had begun to inject into his life. It had not been long since he first saw the creature, only a short time, yet the danger and urgency had escalated so quickly. Now he was fearful for his family’s lives. He needed help, grown‑up help, from that unfailing reservoir of solutions his parents always seemed to possess. He wondered whether, if he had not seen Hep in the state he was in, he would still be cooperating with the creature, giving it food, visiting it in the cave, unaware of its intent, until it attacked him or came after Rachel or his parents.

He knew the monster would have little trouble crashing through the thin walls of their house and seizing the people he loved. But now, by purging himself of the secret, he had passed the responsibility to his parents and their grown‑up way of acting. With the knowledge they now possessed, they had an obligation to take over. He hoped they would. He thought they would. He was not sure if they would believe him straight away, but he was not a boy who lied for the sake of it. As much as they did not understand him, he was not one to invent something like this.

Nevertheless, he found himself back in his room within twenty minutes, supposedly preparing to go into the village as if nothing had happened. Putting on his clothes with his mind reeling, fighting comprehension like someone struggling with an umbrella in the wind, he tried to decide what to do next about the monster that he alone now had to deal with.

“We know about the monster,” his mother had said, sipping her coffee as if she were talking about an annoying neighbour who lived two doors down. His father sighed and looked out of the kitchen window. The frown on his brow altered his aged appearance into that of a man with purpose.

“It is a bit of a long story, but we know all about it.” Her tone never changed. It came too easily, as if she had prepared the answer for years.

“What do you mean? Do you know it is dangerous? Why is it there?” Zachary asked.

“We know it is dangerous, but it never comes into the village. It has been around for a long, long time. Your grandfather once… well, perhaps that is another story for another time.” She drank her coffee. “It lives in the dark side of Reedbuck and stays in the cave for most of the year. Years ago, it used to wander up to the village. At first people were afraid of it, but then intrigued. It seemed quite docile. People would put it up in their barns and sheds, giving it food. It always used to stand and stare, like some entertaining creature in a circus show. Then cattle started to go missing, and then a young girl was…”

She trailed off and looked away above Zachary’s head, as if watching a film projected on the wall behind him.

Zachary sat there, absorbing the information. Anger and disillusionment bubbled within him. He felt angry that his parents did not seem to care about him, and how easily those pillars of strength had tumbled. How many times had he been in that forest collecting wood? Why were they not bothered by the fact that the cat was dead and his own dog had been attacked by the beast? Looking at his father, who continued to stare out of the window, he asked, “So why is it allowed to be there, why doesn’t…”

His father cut in. “It is not about why it is allowed to be there; it is why we are allowed to be here, Zach.”

Zachary opened his mouth to speak, but the words slipped away. His father continued.

“You see, this village is not very old. When our families first came here in search of gold years ago, the area was overrun with creatures similar to the one that now resides in the cave. The settlers’ lust for the precious metal forced them to attack the creatures to win the land, but the creatures were vicious and dangerous and retaliated in a tragic fashion. They only seemed to eat the young children of the village. They would attack in the night and carry them off into the woods.

“After a while, and far too much bloodshed, the townsfolk decided to cooperate with them, though it was not easy. They would not give up the land they had taken, but they left a large section for the creatures to keep for themselves, which is now Reedbuck. They gave offerings of meat to the creatures, whose numbers dwindled over the years. The one you stumbled upon seems to be the last that we know of, and the one we still give food to, much the same as they did in the past to keep them at bay.”

He looked down at the floor. His father never once looked at him as he told the tale. Questions burned in Zachary’s skull the more he heard, and the more he thought. Now he knew he was alone in this, with no help from anyone.

Brushing his teeth upstairs in the bathroom, he went over what his dad had said. The monster lived in the woods, and every so often someone from the village would take large amounts of meat to the cave to keep the creature from coming to the village. It seemed they had tried to kill the monster after a girl went missing once, when it had come up to the village. His mother had said the girl’s father shot the creature in the head with a shotgun as it slunk back into the woods. They thought it was dead.

The next day, the monster appeared again, a black mark on its head where it had been shot. It tried to take the girl’s brother in the night.

They managed to entice it away with one of the cows taken from a nearby field. The creature seemed satisfied with this. Over time, the frequency of the meat offerings became a monthly routine, then half‑yearly. The monster remained in the forest. The parents agreed to keep their children away from the foreboding area of the woods.

His parents had failed. Failed to warn him or his sister, failed to protect them from the woods, and failed to tell him the truth before. It was now too late.

He walked across the hall to wake his sister, but there was no reply from her room. He opened the door. She was not there.

Fear coursed through his body.

He called downstairs, “Is Rachel downstairs yet?”

His father called back, “No, but you two had better get a move on, because I am leaving in five minutes with or without you.”

Zachary was happy for him to choose the latter option. He knew what he had to do. He had to get to the cave and find Rachel, praying it was not too late. The blood on the lawn. Pushing that thought deep down into his stomach, he went back into his room to grab what he needed.

Hep jumped up to greet him. Zachary patted the dog and checked his bandage. The blood had stopped now and the wound was on its way to healing. He decided to take him along.

They went to his parents’ room and hopped out of the window that led onto a small roof and down to the ground. Calling for Hep, he sprinted toward the forest. His clothes were clean and dry, his mind was focused, but his heart pumped faster than he had ever known it to, and once again he was afraid.


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KEEP IT TOGETHER

GELUCK (FORTUNE)

Despite what you may read or be told by some, the truth is we all expect something in life. Fundamentals such as good health, family, or even a nice home, we are always searching for what we believe to be ours. Digging in the dirt for diamonds we’ve been told are there. Few of us ever really see that expectations lead to disappointments. Many more of us search for riches and rewards that are never truly ours or even obtainable. Money, it is said, is the root of all evil, and yet its influences have corrupted many a heart, strong and weak alike, over the span of time. Golden paths of good intentions. It is not only openly intoxicating and hypnotic, but maintains a more insidious nature, that of which, like a frost that settles while you sleep, lays itself down within the hearts and minds of those honest souls who are so busy surviving.

If money then was the sole reason for the tragedies that afflict the wealthy, if not complicated, Van‑Black family on a sweltering hot weekend in July 1977, then it would be all too easy to see the reasons for the events that took place, and perhaps easier to sympathise if your moral compass is set to that degree. However, as with many stories, this is not the simple black and white of it all, and money, although forever the Devil’s dally, plays only a slight role in all this treachery. It may be just the whisper in the ear of a malignable heart, or the tiny drop of poison in the cocktail of life. For someone once said, “The less we deserve good fortune, the more we hope for it.”

It was a series of events that led to that dark, sweltering, yet stormy weekend. Seeds that were sown years before the Independence Day flags were stuck up in store windows, welcoming the two hundred and one years of freedom. As if a twist in the fabric of fate, an independence of their own had begun, borne out of a revolution of complacency. Wheels in motion that start not at the beginning, but in a good place nevertheless to watch it all unfold. It begins with three invitations on their way to three different couples who live in the greater Boston area, in a place called Rosemount.


ROSEMOUNT

Rosemount Heights would never be known as anything other than a snobby neighbourhood, and some would argue it had every right to be. Of course, these would be the same people who inhabited this affluent area of Boston. The apartments and houses were a little less imposing than many other grandiose dwellings that occupy money‑driven cities in America. Nor could they claim to be of any particular architectural interest; indeed, some have suggested many of the properties should be condemned due to their crumbling facades and foundations lodged so far in the past, the slightest disturbance could bring the whole lot crashing down. However, the lawns were always manicured under much scrutiny, the dogs walked were always cleaned up after, and the rambling nature of the older properties was accepted due to the wealth they concealed.

For you see, to obtain an address in Rosemount Heights was not only a status of money, but also that of social standing which, in a city where that meant everything, was coveted most ferociously. It was the week before Independence Day weekend, and all along the tree‑lined avenues of The Heights, as was commonly deferred by the locals, people were smartening their already immaculate properties as if Washington himself were to trundle down the leafy streets. The flags never looked crisper in the sun, which burned down as one of the hottest summers of the past few years, cooking everything and everyone to a summer bronze.

Brahmin Court was an oasis address to the well‑travelled feet of the local mailman. At some point in recent history, planning officials were able to somehow, and illicitly no doubt, put through plans of an apartment complex situated within the realms of the wealthy estates. This led to a short‑lived venture of a few other apartments being built within Rosemount Heights, though smaller in scale than more centralised neighbourhoods. This phase quickly passed, and the apartment blocks that were built were forced to conform to the strict, somewhat militant, upkeep of their surroundings.

Brahmin Court served as an opportunity for each mailman to offload a greater number of letters in one go, and without the stretching driveways of the surrounding properties, was much preferred. It was true that a surge in patriotic spirit had seized many of the locals recently, and in these summer days of scorching weather it was not unknown for a mailman to be offered refreshments such as lemonade or iced tea by the occupants of the many houses they delivered to. There was also a chance to gossip about gasoline prices and plans for Independence festivities. However, this was not to be the case in Brahmin Court, where you were more likely to be commented on for your poor attire and lateness of delivery than you were about the weather.

This was true on Monday the 27th of June 1977 when Christine Mason accosted the mailman outside her apartment, who, it seems, was delivering her a letter in a manner most disagreeable to her.

“What time do you call this?” she exclaimed, exploding from the entrance of her building to the man clearly fatigued from the hot sun. She wore a large grey cardigan that she kept taut around her with one hand, while the other gestured hysterically.

“Sorry, ma’am?” he enquired.

“It’s eleven‑oh‑five,” she informed him, not bothering to ask him again, “and I’ve been waiting for my mail since at least ten this morning, which is when you usually deliver it by.”

She held out her hand expectantly for the large bundle of mail she saw he had ready to deliver at the apartment building. The hot sun was reflecting off the windows and the glare was getting in his eyes, yet the scornful look upon her face could not mistake her mood or impatience.

“I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, we were late getting the delivery this morning, which led to a delayed start,” he explained, somewhat affronted by her attitude but nevertheless holding on to his professionalism.

“Always a reason, isn’t there? The man last week was late delivering too, and he came up with some bullshit excuse to me then, and I see you’re no different.” With that, she snatched the letters from his hands before he had time to hand them over or offer an expanded apology.

“Again, I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said, letting the last word drag out and hang in the air to imply that he thought her anything but. She turned on her heels and marched back up to her apartment. As he departed, he smiled to himself, knowing she had grabbed the entire complex’s mail.

Back inside her air‑conditioned apartment, Christine Mason caught a look at herself in the mirror as she entered the hallway. A thirty‑year‑old woman stared back, yet she did not look her age. Sunken eyes on a small bird‑like face reflected to her. Her dark auburn hair, her mothers only inherited physical trait, hung loosely and lifeless down past her shoulders. She had become more and more pale recently, as if in an effort to subconsciously fight the sunshine. She deeply welcomed a paler complexion, a sign of a more aristocratic lineage. This she needn’t have accentuated, having come from perhaps the most well‑to‑do stock in the area, and now this waning merely heightened her contempt for the outside world. She would never be a towering, imposing figure like her mother; she had stopped growing by the time she was seventeen, and fate had concluded she would have to suffice at just over five foot.

Her best feature, as she believed it, were her high cheekbones, which to some gave the impression of a small sparrow. She thought this defined her and hoped it would help distinguish herself more from the working class. That’s not to say she despised any class, least of all her own, which she felt firmly planted in. Christine had a very specific outlook on life, her life, and all the little universes that spiralled freely within it. All under her jurisdiction. At least as she believed them to be.

She was a snob, she was first to admit it; however, she did not hold disdain for any class like many of her ilk. Indeed, her family in general had a somewhat malleable nature in regard to social environments. When she was younger, she remembered running down the great stairs that dominated her house at boarding school. She hated the creaky giant stairway, which was arduous on her bones, and she was always in a rush to get down or up them. This particular descent she was running a bit too fast and tripped, tumbling to the bottom like a twig from a tree. Her fall resulted in a broken ankle followed by a period in bed and a cast adorning her left foot. In her decline, she had knocked one of the cleaners with her, causing the fifty‑year‑old soul to topple to the foot of the stairs also. She can still remember yelling to the nurse, who appeared in much haste, to treat the older lady first, whose injuries matched her own. She may be rich, but she was much younger, and in her mind should wait her turn. This was the conflict ever present with Christine.

What is right is how it should be. True though, some of her thought processes weren’t politically correct; she was a paradox of right and wrong that only her cat‑like mind could ever untangle. She was also outspoken, perhaps a result of her stunted frame, and she believed in telling people what was wrong with them. She was just as likely to yell at the mailman for being late as to the mayor of the city for increasing taxes for those of higher incomes.

Some people who knew her could be known to have said that with the birth of her son Anderson, Christine softened somewhat. These were few, however. It was more like that of a snake shedding its skin that the transformation of Christine occurred, if it did at all. It was more believable that she channelled her efforts into her son’s future, care, and wellbeing. There was an order to her world, and everything had its right place. If you were a bank teller, do your job and do it right. If you’re running for election, then the best candidate, and preferably a Republican, should win. If you were a husband, better yet, her husband, you should be able to support her and their son to the best of your masculine abilities. Or so help you.

Victor had been sleeping when he heard the front door go, shaking him from his convalescent slumber. For weeks he had stared blankly at the same four walls in the bedroom of their apartment. That was not to say he was bed‑bound, but that his cast on his foot did not offer much in the way of mobility. Victor was tall and lean; he wore thin spectacles which rubbed into his nose and could often be seen taking them off to rub the bridge, which was usually red. Though well‑educated and with an extensive vocabulary, he was very down‑to‑earth and spoke very friendly and warmly most of the time. This morning his short black hair was sticking up on top of his head and he hadn’t yet shaved. He had not heard any of the yelling outside from the kitchen and was just in the process of making some coffee, tightening his dressing gown’s belt around himself, when Christine’s post‑mailman fury swept back into the apartment.

“Can you believe it, over an hour late today,” she proclaimed, spotting the coffee bubbling away. “Thanks, I’d love a cup,” she said. She went over to her husband and kissed him on the cheek, dumping the letters on the table as she went.

“Well, it is holiday weekend coming up, maybe they’re short‑staffed down at the depot? Or in the holiday mood already,” he replied. She glared at him.

“Really, I couldn’t give a fuck if they are short‑staffed. People expect their mail on time! And especially today, I need that letter as soon as possible, Victor, it needs to be returned by the first of the month.” She sat down as he poured her some coffee and she started to sift through the mail.

“You had any breakfast yet?” he asked her, looking up at the clock which hung on the wall. It was nestled between two watercolours of terrier dogs Christine had painted last year; that he had never mentioned but didn’t care for.

“I should think so, it’s gone eleven. We can’t all lounge around in bed all day.” She saw his face fall and added quickly, “No, I’ve been up since eight, going over the application. I had some cereal when I woke.” She now looked at the clock on the wall. “How’s your leg today?” She knew it would be the same as yesterday, but she asked anyway. What was affecting him more recently were the headaches that usually came on in the afternoons.

“It’s much better today, the cast is itching less. I think the itchy feet have become more metaphoric than literal now,” he said, sipping his coffee from the patterned bone china his wife had so carefully chosen before their wedding.

“I know it must be frustrating, but it will be off soon enough,” she replied. She knew he longed to be busy; his work kept him in his element, and this self‑induced seclusion, under the surface, must be driving him mad.

“But at least you’re getting to spend more time with me and Anderson,” she said.

As if hearing his name, in walked their son, his mouth full of croissant of the chocolate variety, patches of it sticking to the swing-door of the kitchen from his mucky hands.

“Anderson, honey, is that the extent of your breakfast? I thought I set out a bowl of oatmeal for you?” Christine chimed, fixing the parting of his blonde hair which always fell in front of his eyes. It wasn’t that Anderson was a bad child; he listened to what was told to him most of the time and he kept himself out of trouble like most children try to do in the back of their minds.

He followed instructions well and showed definite signs of intelligence for his age. He did, however, possess a quality that was only apparent to an outsider. It would have to be said there was definitely something about him, and not something to shout about. His parents, stricken with rose‑coloured glasses, would indeed state that the boy had been cast out of perfection and that he could achieve anything he wished to.

True, this was smart advice, but in this particular case somewhat misguided. It was like saying a haunted house will be interesting, in that Anderson was unusual. For a child his age, Anderson was a little too quiet sometimes, not in a withdrawn, self‑deprecating fashion, but more of an eternal studying way. He was like the underground trains that ran through the night, ferrying the more peculiar passengers with more sinister deeds. Before he had time to answer, she had spotted his empty bowl by the sink and moved towards it to wash it up. Victor stood surveying the kitchen, sipping further on his coffee.

As she talked, he watched his wife, and then his son; although pained by his recent predicament, he had to agree with Christine that he had the opportunity here to spend more time with those important to him. He moved towards Anderson and ruffled his recently tidied hair while Christine lamented further on the state of the mail service and the country.

After tidying up the breakfast things, Christine re‑attacked the mail while Victor took Anderson to clear the chocolate stains from his face. She made a separate pile for the other people on her floor whose mail she had taken by mistake. She would dispense these herself later, as for now she wanted that letter that was her reason for going out in the first place. It was perhaps this letter that was the reason for the outburst to the mailman shortly before. Though she spoke her mind nearly all the time, Christine usually handled herself better; clearly her frustration waiting had gotten the better of her. So much rode on this particular letter. They were in the process of getting Anderson into St. Mansfield School, whose elementary education was second to none. It was expensive too and had a waiting list as long as its tuition bills. However, Christine had decided that it was the best, and the best was what Anderson would have.

She had filled in the first part of the application they had received when they had first been to visit the school back in May. Set in extensive grounds, it was a boarding school which began as early as the elementary level. She would not be sending him to board, but the education system offered at St. Mansfield was renowned to turn out notables of many of the prestigious Bostonians, despite many of them having a high dependency on drugs, a fact Christine seemed to overlook. She came upon an envelope addressed to her and her husband, which made her stop thinking about the school letter entirely. An ivory envelope which, on the reverse, bore a family seal she recognised almost immediately.

Two peacocks, whose heads intertwined, were set in the centre of the seal. She knew them to be white peacocks; she had seen the symbol a thousand times before, but embossed on the ivory envelope here, they were just birds, bleached of distinction. Below them they rested upon giant jewels. Above the peacocks were the words “Hvem har set en påfugl dans i skoven.” It was her family crest, which she had always hated. The words meant “Who sees a peacock dance in the woods.” It had always been obscure and strange to her. Her family, the Van‑Blacks, were descended from Dutch immigrants who had come to America around the turbulent time of the Civil War. They had been involved in shipping and had investments in the Dutch‑India trading company.

As such, generations of her family had been influenced by the exotic offerings of the East and had been prominent in the spice and trade routes from the Netherlands to India, trading in gems, tea, opium, and minerals. When they came to America, they moved into the mining industry and built up a business in what they considered to be what they already knew about. Her family owned many mining centres in the Appalachians which were once, and continued to be, very profitable for her family. Their considerable fortune lay under the ground, as she liked to think of it, securely tucked away in places that required digging to get to.

She was reluctant at first to open the letter, seeing the family crest which had crashed into her Monday morning. Her connections with her family had become so tangled and so chaotic, and she hated anything that led to drama and messiness. What she really disliked was not being in control, and that is what her family constantly made her: impotent. She hated them for that. With fresh annoyance she slit open the letter with a letter opener that had once been her father’s. Unfolding the card within, she found it was an invitation of sorts. Inside there was also a handwritten note.

In honour of the birth of our great United States, we request the company of
Christine & Victor Mason
in celebrating Independence weekend at our home: Nova Manor.
Please arrive on Friday the 1st of July at 7 p.m.
We hope to see you then. Yours sincerely,
Mr & Mrs Van‑Black

She read the accompanying note, done in a much less formal hand:

Darling, I do hope you and the family are well.
Your father has some news which he wishes to share with you all.
This is very important for him and he hopes you will attend.
I know things may not be perfect with all of us, but these are the steps he is
taking to hopefully resolve them.
Please come, if not because of your father, then for me.
Yours, Mother

She re‑read it, just to be sure. Such mixed emotions began to swirl around within her. The one thing that leapt out immediately was the absence of any invitation to include Anderson. What could the news be? she wondered, just as Victor came back into the kitchen.

“Clean as a whistle,” he said, motioning to a much cleaner version of their son she had seen moments ago. “Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, noticing the change in her. He looked at his wife, then at the letter in her hand. “Is it from the school?”

She snapped back suddenly to where she was, having drifted away into her thoughts momentarily.

“Huh? No, no, it’s not the school,” she said. The school; she thought, it had been pushed out of her head. She smiled at him; she didn’t know why, but she decided not to mention the invite to Victor just yet. She would soon, she actually wanted his opinion on the subject, but for now she wanted to let the information settle a bit. She sifted through the rest of the mail and came across the letter she had originally been waiting for. Victor began tidying things up in the kitchen and Anderson had gone to play in the other room.

All was in order with the application, and she went about filling in the form that had arrived, rounding it off with a photo of Anderson she’d had especially taken for the occasion. “There!” she said aloud. After getting changed and kissing Victor and her son goodbye, she left her apartment, announcing she was off to the post office to see the letter off securely and promptly. True to her word, she made sure the other mail for their apartment block found their rightful homes.

As she walked down the block, her thoughts travelled, surprisingly not to the future she was hopefully securing for her son, but to her other family. It had been a long time since she had seen them and years since they’d all been together. That isn’t to say they had no contact. Her mother never forgot to send Anderson birthday and Christmas cards along with gifts, dutifully signed from both her parents. Yet ever since she was married, she had all but cut ties with her father. Odd really, she thought in hindsight, it was always her father whom she’d gotten on with better. She crossed the street to avoid the man walking his dog and looked up to the sky. This weather was quite insufferable, but she couldn’t abide driving in this heat.

She walked on further, stopping only once to admire the view at the top of Peabody Road which looked out over the harbour, where she could see Nahant Bay sprawling out into the ocean. She continued to think about her family. Her father was now, what, fifty‑seven years old? And the last conversation they had had was at Anderson’s christening.

If she’d had it her way, she never would have invited them. But for the sake of show and society, she could not have excluded them from their own, and only, grandchild’s christening. After she’d been married to Victor, her father had warned her about their match. It’s not that he didn’t approve of her getting married, under any other circumstances he would have welcomed it. He just detested Victor, which had always struck her as odd, as being objective, she could comfortably say Victor was very agreeable. They were just too different to ever get on or see eye to eye, that was the problem. Victor came from old money as well, but he was definitely a forward thinker and felt the new wave of civil rights and progressive movements were the right way to go. Her father viewed the marriage as more of an offloading, or so it seemed to her. He made it clear then his views on inheritance, and seeing as Victor was from a well‑to‑do background, he removed any financial responsibilities from himself.

To Christine, this was justly unfair. Why should she not be entitled to anything just because she now had a husband? She had concluded that she had been the model child, never causing stirs or headlines like other society girls her age had. And they had frequently, the stories she would hear at school! She had been educated in boarding school, and although she excelled in her classes, she never pursued a career or entry into college. Instead, she set about to be married and to raise a family. Her father, Milton Van‑Black, was known to be a “man’s man” and upheld what she thought were sexist notions about the roles of men and women. As she had found herself a husband, and despite being the first child, he had resolved that the company and vast inheritance would now fall to her brother Jacob who, at only four years her junior, was the youngest of the family.

She clenched her teeth as she thought all this over again. It had been a while since the original issue with her family had come up, as over the years more benign issues had taken precedence. She had married Victor nonetheless and done a pretty good job up to now, she thought, in regard to marriage and motherhood. So, she had decided to play him at his own game, and when she fell pregnant, she practically willed herself to have a boy. Anderson was born just under a year after they had wed in 1973. If her father was so worried about the male line, then his grandchild, his grandson, would have to be due some claim to the estate or company. To an outsider it may seem calculated and materialistic, but to Christine, she merely felt this was what was due to her. She had been shipped off to boarding school at a young age and did everything she could do to toe the family line. So, when she learned at her son’s christening that her father had no plans to make allowances for Anderson, she snapped and disassociated herself from them all. Her mother had tried to quell the situation, saying who knows what was to happen in the future, and she was sure there would be something for everyone when the sad day of her husband’s passing came.

She had privately told Christine she would see to it that the will would include her, though she would have to let go of any notions of control in the family business. It had been a tangled and gruelling situation. Anderson now only knew of his grandparents through cards and presents. They were always signed from them both, but she knew it was her mother’s way of trying to smooth things over. Her relationship with her brother was strained anyway, due to his stance of inheriting the money, which he naturally did not have a problem with. He did have his own reservations, though Christine was unaware of these. Her father justified this all by the same reason for her own oversight.

“I’ve told you, you and Victor have enough money. For God’s sake, he’s due to inherit half of fucking Massachusetts when his father rolls into the grave.” She vividly remembered her father saying this, not far out of reach of the reverend’s ear. She hadn’t told her family of Victor’s own family troubles which could lead to his own disinheritance. One storm at a time.

So, she figured she could not rely on her family to help her out and had set about making Anderson have the best of everything she could provide. When the cards and presents came pouring in at birthdays and Christmas, from his grandparents, aunt, and uncle who never did forget, she did not lie to him. However, she said that they were from his family, for reasons that will become apparent as he gets older, and that they no longer saw them regularly. This line had been upheld now for going on nearly four years, as his fourth birthday was coming up in September. Victor, it seemed, shared his wife’s beliefs, as he did not challenge this approach to their son. He had no particular quarrel with any other member of her family, aside from her father.

He did keep a quiet uncertainty for her mother, however, as she seemed to him to be snide and two‑faced, and he knew too the reasons why he and her father would never get along. There seemed to be a mutual loathing between them.

However, he did not openly fight with any of them, which, in her own way, Christine respected him for. Of course, the same could not be said for her, who refused to have anything to do with his sister after the comments she had made about Anderson on his first birthday.

She arrived at the post office with her family’s entanglements still spinning in her brain. She waited in line nearly fifteen minutes while the elderly talked the ear off the poor man at the desk. When the letter was finally sorted, she popped into the Dunkin’ Donuts across the street to get a coffee and some doughnuts for them all. As she walked back, her thoughts now came upon the invitation that currently sat on her kitchen table. Sipping her coffee, she wondered what the announcement that was mentioned could be. Maybe, she thought, the old man had decided that he was getting on a bit now, and it was time to relent and share out some of the money he had hoarded away.

Her family were rich, no denying it, but how rich was dependent on who you talked to. Her mother would always clam up when it came to talking about money, saying it was “your father’s concern.” Ha! she thought to herself, I bet it wasn’t just his concern when she was getting her foot in the door. Her mother and father had one of those strange circumstances where they’d had a somewhat arranged marriage, but then fallen in love with each other.

Her mother adored her father and tried desperately to keep the peace. Though there was more to it, she thought. Her mother, as much as she had wanted the peace to be kept and to be left out of the drama, was always right in the middle of anything that occurred, either as a go‑between or final‑sayer. She wore two faces: one of the merry little housewife, and the other of the power behind the throne. It was a foolish person who underestimated Veronica Van‑Black, she thought. She would tell Victor about the invite when she got back and ask his opinion. She stopped along the way to pick up some fallen leaves that had dried in the sun; she would use these in one of her table decorations. When she got back, the doughnuts were still warm in the bag.


 


From the newly revised version of ‘Keep It Together’

Pendulum Days – Afraid – 07

iii

It was early, still dark. Zachary wondered if it was his stomach that had woken him; it felt painfully empty. The dinner his mother had given him when he returned home, despite being peppered with irritatingly concerned conversation, had vanished in a flash and now felt like a beautiful distant memory. Lying in his bed, he wondered what else had stirred him. The moon glowed outside his window, shapeless clouds sputtering in and out of its hazy light.

Getting up, Zachary went to his windowsill and looked toward the woods. The foreboding gloom that the forest presented made him forget his rumbling stomach. A disturbance within the trees had sent some birds into flight, rising into the night sky and giving the world the rare sight of birds flying at night. He thought of the monster in the cave, and whether it was caught in sleep’s cotton-like clutches.

Looking down at the lawn, he suddenly saw the creature, sitting and looking up at him from the yard. Staring again. Grabbing a jumper on his way, Zachary travelled the short distance from his room to the back door in what felt like a blink.

Stepping out into the early morning air, he approached the monster cautiously, shivering in the coolness.
“Hello again,” he said as the creature stared back. “Have you been here all night?”
Zachary knew by now this was a one-way conversation, but the sound of his own voice was a welcome splinter in the silence that coiled around him. “That is my room up there. Would you like something to eat?”

For the first time, the monster responded. It bobbed its head in recognition of the question, its eyes widening ever so slightly.

“All right, that is fine. You will have to wait here though; you cannot come into the house.”

The creature remained still as Zachary spun on his heel and disappeared inside. He set about making a sandwich, grabbing things he thought a monster might like. Having no experience feeding monsters, he decided to make a sandwich he would like to eat. His logic was simple. If he liked it, then so would the monster.

Outside, he heard Hep begin to bark, so he quickly grabbed some milk and returned outside, hoping the barking would not wake anyone else.

The monster could not have been outside long, he thought, or Hep would have barked sooner. Unless, of course, he had been busy pursuing Snowflake elsewhere. As much as he loved his dog, he knew Hep was not much of a guard. Neither would he be, he thought, suddenly forgiving his friend.

He placed the plate and milk in front of the creature and waited. The monster exhaled loudly, and a strange odour hit him, something he could not place yet seemed familiar. The creature shifted but did not grab the food. Hep continued barking. Turning to comfort the dog, Zachary sensed movement. When he looked back, the food and milk had disappeared. Faint traces of milk shimmered in the moonlight on the monster’s fur around its mouth.

Smiling, Zachary stepped toward it. In the distance, a light came on in one of the neighbouring houses. Hep’s barking had snowballed through the woods, reverberating down into the village.

“Shhh,” he said to his dog, stroking his head. “You cannot stay here, Mister Monster. Would you like to sleep in the barn? It is warm there, and aside from the field mice, no one will bother you.”

Taking the creature’s silence as confirmation, Zachary made his way toward the barn. Hep followed, no longer barking but clearly unnerved by the strange visitor. He kept close to Zachary, nudging his right leg with his snout and letting out a small whimper.

Sliding open the barn doors, Zachary noticed the monster move for the first time. In the moon’s hazy glow, he could have sworn it floated along the ground. Its podgy little feet barely made any movement, yet the creature continued toward him at a steady pace. It entered the barn, sat down in the hay, and stared back at him.

“I have to go to sleep now, and I cannot stay here with you. I will come and see you in the morning though,” he said, checking the loft space above to make sure nothing else was staying the night. Foxes sometimes nestled in the barn when the colder nights came. “Good night.”

Zachary left the barn and closed the door behind him. He knew no one would be going in there in the morning, so the creature would be safe. He also planned to get up early and bring more food. The tiny sandwich had surely not filled it.

Hep followed him back to the house. After closing the back door, Hep sat facing the yard as if on patrol, ears alert and eyes wide. Zachary climbed the stairs wearily, returned to his room, and fell straight asleep.

Knock, knock, KNOCK.

He heard muffled noises outside his room before he even opened his eyes. He felt the sun on his face, shards of light hazily permeating through the pink skin of his eyelids.

“Zachary, are you up yet?” It was his sister. It must be late, he thought. Rachel was not one for mornings.
“Zach, come on, are you awake yet?”

He hated being called Zach. He hated how people shortened everything, as if the two extra syllables in his name were an inconvenience. He rubbed his eyes. Her voice sounded agitated. His mind flew to the monster, the barn, his sister opening the door, the shock, the scream, the questions.

“Yeah, sure, coming,” he replied quickly. Dressing hurriedly, he sensed she would barge in soon. “So, what is up?” he said, trying to sound calm. He liked his sister and confided most things in her. He wanted to share the monster with her at some point, but he did not want her discovering it by accident.

“Is Hep in there with you?” she asked.

“No, why? He was by the back door when I left him in the night.”

“It is Snowflake. I cannot find him anywhere and wondered where Hep was. Those two are normally within two feet of each other.”

She sounded more concerned than annoyed.

“I can help you look if you like. Has he eaten his food?” Snowflake had taken to mirroring his human owners and scheduling his day around breakfast, lunch and dinner, with little snacks from Rachel in between. There was always a steady flow of food in his bowl.

“Well, the bowl is full, and I have not seen him for a while,” she said through the door. More concern.

“I am sure he will turn up,” he said, lacking conviction but opening the door to her, “when he wants some attention. You will see him strutting around somewhere.” He put his arm around her shoulder and motioned her down the stairs.

“I guess so. Just a little odd though, do you not think?” It was a statement more than a question.

They went downstairs together and had breakfast, which he ate hurriedly.

The barn was empty upon inspection. His mother’s conversation over breakfast indicated she had not discovered a twelve-foot-high creature sleeping in the barn, or anywhere else. No shouts of alarm or pitchforks aloft suggested the monster had not entered the village either. It was a normal, monster-free morning. He must have gone back to the woods, Zachary decided.

Just then Hep appeared beside him.

“Hey Hep, are you all right?” Clearly distressed, the dog looked worse for wear. His fur was scuffed up more than usual, his collar was gone, and he had a gash on the side of his face. Zachary sat down, stroking the dog and calming him outside the barn. He then fetched a bowl of water. Dipping a cloth into it as Hep slobbered around the rim, he wiped away the dried blood and cleaned the wound as best he could.

What should he do? The creature had not attacked him or shown any sign of hostility. But with Snowflake missing and now Hep injured, it all pointed to something far beyond his control.

He did not feel safe going back into the woods today. He would wait and see if the creature showed up again, and if so, he would take it from there.

He set about his tasks for the day, thankfully ones that kept him indoors. Hep never left his side all afternoon, on edge yet calmer than in the morning. His mother went to the store to get a bandage for the dog’s face and returned with a large bone, which occupied Hep for the rest of the day.

Around three in the afternoon, it started to rain again, not as strong as the day before but steady well into the early evening. Rachel could be found at intervals calling for Snowflake, putting down treats, trying to lure him out of hiding places she knew were empty. He sat with her around four o’clock and they ate apples together.

Though she threw the occasional accusatory glance at Hep, she now believed the cat had run away, blaming herself for not giving him enough attention. He tried to take her mind off it, and eventually succeeded by playing a game of cards and letting her win.

Before long, the day began to wind down and night fell. The rain continued to slash at the house. Around eight o’clock he went to bed, but he could not sleep.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 06

ii

At home they had two animals that pottered around the house. Snowflake was his sister’s cat, a shabby excuse for a feline that strutted around with all the smugness of an animal ten times its size. Its shabby appearance was not through any lack of love that his sister, Rachel, poured onto the tiny beast. Snowflake merely tried his best to get into every area that was out of bounds for cats like him. He also contended with Zachary’s dog, Hep, who rarely let Snowflake become accustomed to his inflated status and never seemed to forgive him for being merely a cat.

The love Zachary had for his dog was not overly shown in the way other boys he knew behaved with their animals. Zachary would sneak Hep extra helpings from his own dinner, walk him in the woods for hours, and give him a bath when he began to smell worse than usual. But he understood that he did not need to be around him all the time for them to share a connection.

He knew, in his own little world, that the constant war with Snowflake was Hep’s purpose, and something he needed to stay outside of. Hep’s fur was short, with a silky sheen that shimmered in the sunlight when it was not covered in mud. The hair on the monster before him was neither short nor shimmering in the pale dimming light of his match. He watched as the gigantic mass rose and fell with each breath. Focused on the creature, Zachary did not notice the match burning low until it singed his fingers. He dropped it to the floor, the noise enough to rouse the monster.

After fumbling in the box for another match and successfully lighting it, Zachary took a step back. The monster had sat up in a rigid position and stared straight toward him. He would be dead by now, he figured, if the creature was the bloodthirsty kind he had read about in fairy tales. But he remained cautious.

“Hello,” he said, proud that his voice did not tremble.

The monster stayed where it was.

“Do you like the dark?” he asked, hoping for any response.

The creature blinked. With the new light, Zachary noticed how close its head was to the ceiling, as if it were hunched. He could see two small eyes, very close together and beady, and a mouth hidden somewhere beneath the arrangement of fur, waiting to leap out in surprise if the creature roared. It looked a little like a bear, with giant claws as sharp as the knives his father kept in the shed at home. Its white fur was tangled and scraggly in places, with darker patches scattered across its body.

He might have mistaken it for a bear in the dark if not for the shape of the creature. Its oval frame had an otherworldly quality, and its head and ears had a strange shape, the ears spiking upward like a cat’s. He stood there, unsure what to do. He began to talk more normally, seeing if he could get any further reaction. All the creature did was blink and continue to stare, its body heaving up and down as it breathed.

Time passed, and Zachary edged closer, deciding against touching it, but with each question he stepped a little nearer. Nothing. No further reaction, until eventually the monster lowered itself again and seemed to return to sleep. Zachary decided to leave. He knew where the creature lived, and for today that was enough.

He said goodbye and made his way back outside along the tunnel. He felt bad that he had nothing to give the monster, but what could he have offered? Food? He had brought nothing for himself, and his stomach gurgled to remind him of that fact. It was still raining when he reached the opening, though less heavily now.

Zachary picked up his bag and stepped out into the fading storm. After a few feet, something made him turn around. At the entrance to the cave stood the monster, watching silently.

“I am sorry I did not bring you anything,” he said. Something wavered into his mind about his mother saying you should always take something to someone’s house if you are a guest. The monster continued to stare. “If I had some food I would give you some, but I do not, I am afraid.”

Still staring.

Shifting his bag on his shoulder, he suddenly remembered. He dropped the bag to the floor and opened it. While out looking for wood, he often came across things that, along with the branches, would be tossed into the bottom of the bag. Sure enough, a handful of nuts he had thrown in some time ago tumbled out. He placed them in a small pile on the ground and stepped away.

He was not afraid of the creature. It had seemed quite docile toward him in the cave. Looking up at the sky, he realised it was not the storm that had stolen the light. It was getting very late indeed, and he needed to get home. He looked over at the monster. Still staring.

“Well, goodbye Mister Monster. Thank you for not eating me,” he called, and started off into the forest, giving the creature a final wave, certain he was on the track that led to his house. Surreptitiously glancing behind, Zachary noticed the monster was beginning to follow him.

Crashing through the woods, Zachary picked up his pace. Intrigued by how far the creature would follow, his own hunger and fear of a reprimand from his father forced his legs to travel at twice their usual speed. The monster still followed. Zachary found his way back to a familiar trail, past places where he had stopped to pick up wood earlier that day. He reached the edge of the forest with his house in the distance and looked behind him. The creature was gone.

He was a little upset, wondering if the monster would be all right. Silly really, he thought. He is much bigger than I am, and probably lived much longer. I am sure he can take care of himself.

He liked the monster. He liked how it could not, or did not, talk, but expressed everything through its eyes. He realised he had never actually seen the creature move at all. It had followed him for a while, but whenever he looked back, it had always been standing still, staring. Well, perhaps I will go and see it tomorrow, he said to himself.

He raced up the path that led to his house, dumping his bag by the back door. Clambering up the stairs, Zachary went to the bathroom and quickly washed his hands and face, then changed into warmer and drier clothes. He went in search of his mother, but more importantly, some food.

If he had looked closer before setting off toward the house, Zachary would have just made out the monster lurking among the denser trees at the edge of the wood. He would have seen it stare back with its small dark eyes. And if he had been closer still, he would have seen, and smelt, the blood the creature was wiping from its mouth, caught in the dark shaggy strands of its fur.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 05

Afraid
i

Zachary was not frightened of this part of the woods. The trees looked exactly the same as they did on the brighter side of the clump known as Reedbuck Forest. The same flowers grew in the tiny pockets of light that filtered through the dense canopy above, and the same smells rose from the shifting leaves as he trudged slowly around collecting bits of wood. It was the lack of life that unnerved him. On the sunny side of the woods, animals always made their presence known, though they kept out of sight. Birds called to one another, hedgehogs rustled through branches and fallen leaves, and once in a while he would notice the opulent eyes of a fox staring out at him from some hidden place. But here, in this claustrophobic patch of the wood, there seemed to be nothing. Only dense air and the wind pushing its whistling way through the bones of the trees around him.

For these reasons, Zachary rarely came this way. His daily chores, which partly consisted of collecting wood for the fire, often led him into the woods, where he would usually disappear for hours at a time even though the task itself was relatively quick. Today though, deep in his own thoughts, he had wandered to the darker side of the thicket, his feet carrying him with little sense of direction.

He liked being on his own, which was fortunate, as his parents seemed to treat him more like an uninvited guest than a member of the family. Many people, if they heard his description of his parents, would tell him he was imagining it, and some might even call him selfish. It was not that his mother and father did not love him, he knew they did, and he was not mistreated in any physical way. Thankfully so, as there were many children his age in the village who were often the outlet for their parents’ disagreements. Zachary was merely misunderstood and could never communicate well with either of them, though not for lack of trying.

Being twelve years old limited the ways he could express his unhappiness, so for now he decided that distance and isolation were the best remedy. In his own mind his imagination could take flight. His father would look at a tree and see wood for a fire, but Zachary could imagine the trees in different shades of colour that moved and talked as he stepped by, whispering magical verses. Peculiar entanglements of vines and branches could be doorways to amazing worlds, or birds high in the sky that looked tiny from where he stood would be gigantic up close and could swoop down to carry him off on a noble quest. His imagination usually led him to places that were anywhere but where he was.

Today, he had wandered off in one of these daydreams and found himself in the area of the wood that reminded him of the deadness of the cemetery back in the village. The stillness, so loud in his ears, seemed to hold the expectation of a bird’s call or an animal darting out of sight. But there was nothing, only the dampness, the darkness, and him. He noticed a huge pile of logs that were excellent for firewood. He generally picked pieces that would not need chopping, saving himself a task later on.

He moved toward the pile and opened the bag he carried on his shoulders, the one he used to collect the logs. Inside were pieces much larger than the few scattered before him on the ground. An old tree had fallen recently, splintering itself on the crop of rocks at his feet. As he knelt to pick up the wood, he felt a drip on his head, followed quickly by another. He looked up and noticed it was beginning to rain. He actually liked the rain; it had so much more life than the sun, he thought. But within minutes, what had seemed a mild shower had turned into a torrent of water, each drop stinging his head painfully. His ears and nose burned as he looked for shelter.

Zachary moved quickly. He knew he was too far into the centre of the woods to make it home without getting soaked, and he wondered how bad the storm must be for it to be this harsh even through the trees that normally offered protection. He charged on, losing his sense of direction more than once, until he came to an area that looked like a small cave, slightly hidden, with a clearing in front of it. Without thinking twice, Zachary dashed for the cave and soon began brushing the rain from his clothes, which had pooled in the creases of his jacket and bag. The cave felt warm compared to the cold rain raging outside.

He took off his jacket and rested the bag against the rock. He sat on a flat area and watched the rain outside, shifting from vertical to horizontal sheets, a lost victim to the will of the wind. In the distance he heard the slow rumble of thunder, and a few minutes later noticed a bright flash of lightning. Had he missed the first? Like the woods he was stuck in, the storm did not worry Zachary. He enjoyed violent changes in weather. There was a predictability to calm, mild days that irritated him on some level. Realising he might be here for a while, he decided to get more comfortable and look for a cosier part of the cave.

Glancing to the other side, he noticed what appeared to be a tunnel that at first glance was not noticeable. It seemed to blend into the rock, yet when he moved closer, Zachary saw it curled around a corner leading deeper inside. On the floor near the opening were odd bits of straw scattered about, leading off down the tunnel.

Though curious, Zachary turned his attention to his feet and untied his laces, stretching his toes in the loose, damp boots. He tied them again, making sure they were tighter than before and considerably less wet. He ran his fingers along the laces to drain off the excess water. Pushing himself up, he moved to where the straw led and disappeared around the corner.

He was right. The passageway zigzagged left and right, cutting off all light that filtered in from the darkened sky outside. He fumbled in his pocket and found the box of matches he carried in a small tin that contained other treasures such as a silver button from his father’s coat, a smooth rock, a large coin, and some red thread. He struck one match and let the flame quiver in the tunnel, flickering off the stark, unforgiving walls that surrounded him. It spluttered out too quickly.

As he struck the next one, his mind flashed to his house, specifically the drawer where he had taken the matches from. His mother’s face loomed in his imagination, her reaction vivid. Her face merged into the granite and vanished. Looking at the ground, he noticed more straw at his feet, and he also sensed that the air had changed. Zachary had read enough stories where people always did the wrong thing in dangerous situations and never listened to the inner voice that was now urging him to turn back.

The adventurous naivety of youth mixed with the rationality of someone twice his age. He had begun to believe that the voice supposedly looking out for him always shied away from anything that took him out of his comfort zone. Zachary had come to regard this inner voice as his opponent.

He pressed on.

It was a smaller cave. He realised that as soon as the sounds of his feet across the dusty floor echoed off the walls in a suffocating fashion. Gone from the passage, he had entered a small room-like section, no bigger than his own room at home. The cave was not very high, probably twelve feet, and the harsh rocks from the tunnel had a more rounded appearance here, as if someone had scooped out a giant section with a spoon. The air was heavier and warmer too. His little match continued to flicker with the breeze coming from behind him. He could still hear the rain thundering outside. Water dripped somewhere off to his right.

And on the floor, sleeping, there was a monster curled up in a ball.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 04

HOME – II

It was not until later that he got to investigate the mysterious book. He must have fallen asleep after Grace left. These drugs must be pretty strong, he thought to himself. His mother had obviously come in and moved the book onto his bedside table. A fresh glass of water was evidence of her activity, along with an extra blanket now resting upon him. He heard her downstairs in the kitchen, singing along to the radio. Probably preparing dinner, he thought.

He reached across for the book, trying not to lift his leg off the bed as he turned. His fingers felt their way toward the leather and, though the room was dark, he could have sworn the book moved slightly toward him. A small vibration of life. It was getting dark outside, so lifting the book onto his lap he turned on the lamp beside him.

Dinosaur silhouettes danced across his ceiling, the old lamp from his childhood still determined to follow him into his teenage years. Zachary opened the cover and looked at the first page. A huge square seemed to stretch down into the book, as if pulling him inward. He blinked, trying to adjust his focus. It must be an optical illusion, he thought, and blinked again to disperse the fuzziness. Looking closer, he realised the lines of the shape were actually words that spiralled down into a centre point. They were so tiny they were almost indecipherable; each line stacked upon the next. Most strange.

They seemed to be English mixed with a few unfamiliar characters, but he could not make out what they said because of the handwriting. He turned the page, hoping for a clue. One name stared back at him: Edward T. Reynolds. He turned to the next page with a crinkle of old paper, none the wiser. The smell of aged pages and the damp scent of Grace’s attic reached his nose. Outside his window he heard alley cats fighting. Night had crept in and the evening stars had begun to shine. Zach shivered under his sheets.

To whomever reads this book be warned, there is more entailed than words adorned.
Within these pages lies a truth, one that is found in innocence’s youth.
Monsters, myths and things to frighten, can lead to fear that terrorises and tightens
around you in the dead of night, it seeps inside with death and fright.
So be brave and true upon this quest, a resourceful heart will need no rest.
To see what is there and what resides inside you,
Strength and courage come to but a chosen few.

Zach reread this several times before he understood what it meant. He had never read a book with a warning before. He had seen censored books at his local library, tantalising titles that for some reason had been banned at some point. The notion had always made him laugh. They are just words, he had thought. How can words hurt anyone? Yet the warning seemed to leap off the page at him now. The calligraphy looked as if it moved, the words shifting toward him as if by magic, dancing before his eyes. Intrigued, Zach continued turning the pages.

He flicked again to the back of the book to see the empty ones. The blank pages looked as if they had doubled since before. At the very back, the page before the cover held three letters:

לאר

Zach had seen these types of characters before. He had seen them when his grandma took him to church when he was younger. He knew she had been Jewish, and he figured this was Jewish writing. She had died last year, though no one had really told him what had happened. His mum had simply sat on his bed and told him she had gone, and that she would no longer be around.

He had not asked about death, or heaven, or what happens when someone dies. His mother had taken his silence for sadness, since he and his grandmother had been close. Though comforting, she had not explained anything to him. The truth was, Zach had so many questions, but he did not know where to start.

So, he had kept silent, internalising it all. He had seen the writing in the prayer books around her house and on some of the framed pictures on her walls. Also, in the church they had visited many times. She would have been able to read this, he thought. A cold chill settled on his shoulders as memories of her rose up. He looked toward the window to see if it was open. It was closed.

Zach snuggled further under his sheets, letting the warmth envelop him. He turned back to the beginning of the book, skipping past the strange drawing and the author’s page. There were chapter names, handwritten like the rest of the book. The first one was a single word: Afraid. This book was certainly unusual, he thought, closing it suddenly. He decided he needed to pee. He had been holding it for a while, because the last time he had gone to the bathroom it had taken ages with his cast. The slightest movement in his room seemed to summon his mother up the stairs, and he did not want to bother her again.

He put the book down on the bed and slipped onto the floor. The cast made a thud on the wooden boards, and Zach waited to see if his mother would come up. Nothing. He looked over at the phone on his desk and saw the red light glowing, indicating someone was on the line. She must be calling his dad, he thought. His dad worked strange hours at his office, something to do with international time zones, though Zach did not really know what he did. He only knew he liked it when his dad worked from home, because he would make Zach pancakes for breakfast.

Edging toward the door, Zach stepped out onto the landing, forgoing the crutches, though not without difficulty. He made his way to the bathroom, passing the pictures of his uncle and grandmother that hung at the top of the stairs. He turned on the bathroom light. It flickered and popped with a flash. Damn, he thought. He would have to pee in the dark.

The moon had risen and cast its glow through the window into the bathroom. Zach finished up and returned to his bedroom, much colder for the effort. The book was propped against his pillow, open at the start of the first story. Zach stopped in the doorway, looking around his room. This was getting strange now, he thought. He definitely had not left the book like that.

He moved closer to the bed and stared at it. There was a strange picture at the top of the page, etched in black ink, again with a sense of movement. He picked up the book and got back into bed, lifting his leg with both hands. His elbow twanged with pain, reminding him that it was not just his leg that had been injured in the fall.

Well, it is just a story, he thought, and it will be a while before dinner.

So, he began to read.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 03

Home

 “Sure, go on up, he’s been awake a while now,” he heard his mother’s muffled voice call from downstairs, followed by hurried footsteps racing toward his bedroom door. No knock. Typical Grace, he thought, as she came bounding over to his bed.

“Wow, would you look at that. The cast goes all the way up to your waist!” she said, inspecting his leg like a doctor. “Give me a pen, I’ve got to sign this.”

He stretched over, grabbed the felt tip he’d used earlier on a crossword his mum had given him, and handed it to her. She dropped something on the floor beside her jacket and took the pen.

“Careful, please. I know your strength,” he said as she set to work on his cast.

“How much pain are you in?” she asked, concentrating on her drawing.

“Not much now. They gave me these tablets to take regularly. Though Mum said she didn’t want me getting addicted to them,” he replied, sitting up a little. The TV blared from the other side of the room, Batman swinging across the screen.

“Careful, you’ve jogged me…” she muttered. “…this will have to be a skull now!”

“Sorry,” he said, trying his best to stay still. “How are you anyway?”

“Oh, fine. They sorted my teeth out, but they gave me something too, some painkiller, and Dad said he didn’t want me going to school after, so I stayed home with him all day and helped him work.”

It was now Sunday. Grace had come by yesterday, but his mother had said he was sleeping. They had spent nearly all day at the hospital getting his cast made up. He’d heard Grace when she came over later, and had tried to get her attention from his window as she left, though she hadn’t seen him. He was still unsure how he had gotten home that day; everything was hazy.

He remembered lying on the ground with rain spluttering across his face, strange sounds around him, a white mist thickening the air. Then suddenly he was in his living room with his mother frantically on the telephone; then in the hospital waiting room with people rushing around him. His timeline of events was strained, snatches of moments and blurs of time moulded into one big smear of memory.

His mother came into the room.

“All done with your soup, love?” she asked. Despite it clearly being a broken leg, she had set about treating him for a wide range of imagined ailments. This resulted in bowls of soup, pillow‑fluffing, extra jumpers (“to keep out the cold, luv”), and a strange liquid in a black bottle that tasted like he was swallowing rusty pennies.

“That’s a lovely, uh… skeleton, Grace,” his mother said, picking up the tray beside his bed and noticing her contribution to the cast.

“Thanks. I’m taking art lessons now at the Grange,” Grace replied, not taking her eyes off her work.

“I can see it’s money well spent, dear,” his mother said. “If you need anything, either of you, just shout.” She left with the tray.

“So, what happened?” Grace asked, signing her artwork carefully near his toe. An upside‑down Mexican sugar skull grinned up at him.

Zach told her everything he remembered, from the morning when he’d first passed the house. Grace was a good audience; she gasped in the right places and got angry when he told her about the bullies.

“Those guys are gonna get what’s coming to them one day!” she said, looking off as if filing the thought away for later use.

“So do you think it was the old man from the Lore House?” she asked, fiddling with the bottom of her jumper.

“It looked just like him, well, from what I remember. But even though I heard the dog barking, I didn’t see it at all,” he said.

“Odd! I heard they were going to tear down that old house last year and build, like, four houses on the land. But for some reason it never happened. I can’t believe someone actually lives there.” She paused, imagining horrors. “They must be mad. It’s a scary place.” She looked back at him. “But how did you get back?”

“I… urm… can’t remember that part,” Zach said, slightly embarrassed. “It is weird…” he added quickly, “…and now I’m stuck with this cast for ages. They gave me some crutches, but Mum wants me to keep off them for a while.” He stuck a finger down the cast to scratch an itch.

“When you’re better, we should go investigate that house, you know. See what’s inside. Maybe we can get in the back way,” Grace said, completely serious.

“Are you nuts? I’m not going back there. And I’m not using that shortcut again either,” Zach said, reminding her it was she who had shown him it in the first place, and perhaps implying she should share some responsibility for the state he was now in.

“Oh, it’ll be fun. At least you didn’t get set on by that Collins kid. I think he’s moving away soon anyway, think his parents are getting divorced or something,” she said.

“Pity!” Zach replied. They both laughed.

“So, lots of TV for you in the next few weeks?” she said, crossing the room to turn his set down.

“Well, maybe. But it gets boring after a while,” he replied.

She spun toward him, as if waiting for a cue.

“Which is exactly why I brought you this,” she said, returning to the bed and picking something up from the floor. She handed him a large ornate book.

It wasn’t like the books he’d seen in the bookstores his dad dragged him into whenever they went shopping, not that he minded, he loved to read, he just didn’t like the crowds. This book was more like the ones in the school library: imposing, leather‑bound, as thick as his arm and as dusty as his room. Its bright red cover bore the words Fractured Fairytales indented in a fancy font. He couldn’t see an author’s name.

“Where did you get that?” he asked, slightly suspicious. Grace had a habit of, in her words, “borrowing” things.

“I found it in my loft last weekend. Mum wanted me to get the Christmas decorations down—” Zach made a noise to interrupt. “—I know, I know. It’s only October, but you know what mums are like. Anyway, I was having a nose about, like you do, and I found this in one of the old boxes. It’s excellent, with these strange pictures in it, though I’ve not had a proper look.”

She opened it and placed it, not very gently, on his lap. Zach felt the weight of the leather and the metal corners. The pictures were indeed interesting: sketches, the kind that looked like they were drawn to show movement.

“So, I thought, while you’re getting better, you can read through this and let me know if it’s any good. Odd though, I flicked through and there are lots of empty pages at the back, like it’s unfinished,” she said. “But like I said, I didn’t really investigate it too much.”

Zach found the blank pages; there were quite a few.

“Maybe that’s what they did with old books,” she said matter‑of‑factly, “in case they needed to add something once it was made.”

“Hey, look, this story is about a boy called Zachary!” he said, pointing.

“Ooooh, weird. I wonder if there’s a girl called Grace in there too!” she said, leaning closer.

“Maybe. Where do you think the book came from?” he asked.

“I’m not sure…” Grace said, scrutinising the book with renewed interest. “I asked Mum and she didn’t know where it came from, but she said I can have it. Probably got it in a charity shop or something.” She fixed her ponytail, which had come loose.

“Do you want some lunch?” he asked, knowing Grace was always hungry and never one to turn down food.

“Ah, would love to, but I have to go to my grandparents this afternoon. Dad wants to pick things up for the car‑boot sale we’re doing next week.”

“Are they the nice ones?” Zach asked, remembering her two very different sets of grandparents. Grace had told him once how her mean grandmother had whipped her with a tea towel for dropping a cup.

“Nah, it’s the nice ones, so I don’t mind going,” she said. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re alive at least. Let me know how you get on with the book. I’d forgotten about it until yesterday and found it poking out from under my bed. Know you like to read,” she added, glancing at his huge bookcase.

She slid off the bed and stroked his cast on her way past, admiring her artwork. “Call me later, though. I should be back around seven,” she said, lingering in the doorway and pulling on her jacket.

“Okay, have fun. I’ll let you know if sad old Grace turns up in the book, probably as a witch,” he said, winking.

“Meanie,” she said, and slipped out the door. He heard her going down the stairs two at a time, shouting goodbye to his mum.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 02

Flight or Fight

The day dragged on, dull and uneventful, the kind of day that seemed to stretch itself thin just to spite him. Science had been a blur of diagrams and droning explanations, algebra was a battlefield of numbers that refused to behave, but it wasn’t only the lessons that made the hours crawl. Grace’s empty seat beside him had left a hollow in the day. He hadn’t realised how much he relied on her running commentary, her whispered jokes, her ability to make even the worst lessons feel survivable. Misery loved company, and without her, he’d had to face the misery alone.

She was supposed to return after her dentist appointment, but she never appeared. He imagined her at home, curled up on the sofa with a blanket and a packet of crisps, watching something ridiculous on TV. Toothache or not, she’d make the most of a day off.

When the final bell rang, Zach felt the relief ripple through the class like a collective exhale. He packed his books slowly, delaying the inevitable moment when he’d have to face the homework his teacher had piled on them. More fractions. More equations. More torture. He slung his bag over his shoulder and joined the stream of students spilling out of the gates, already deciding he’d stop by Grace’s house before heading home. Just to check on her. Just to see her.

He turned the corner, and walked straight into the group he’d gone out of his way to avoid that morning.

“Watch it!” snapped the biggest of them, a round‑shouldered boy whose bulk made him look older than he was. His eyes didn’t quite meet Zach’s; they drifted slightly to the left, as if he couldn’t bear to look directly at the person he was threatening.

For a moment, Zach thought the boy must be talking to someone else. But then two of the cronies rolled their bikes in close, hemming him in with metal frames and muddy tyres. No mistake. He was the target.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Zach said, his voice catching on the words. His mind flicked through escape routes like a deck of cards.

“I’m hard to miss,” the boy spat. “Maybe you wanted to bang into me. Maybe I’m not important enough for an excuse me… huh?” He leaned forward, breath pungent, eyes narrowing. “Maybe you wanted me to have a little chat with you. Teach you some manners.”

“Lots of maybes there,” Zach muttered before he could stop himself. His mouth always betrayed him at the worst possible moments.

The boy straightened, looming. “Maybe I just punch you in the stomach and take your bag, eh, wise‑ass?”

Zach swallowed hard, feeling like a cartoon character about to be flattened.

“What’s going on there, Collins?” a voice called from behind.

Mr. Langley stood at the school gates, hands in pockets, watching them with that calm, steady expression teachers used when they were about to intervene. Geography teacher. One of the few who didn’t make Zach want to claw his ears off.

“Nothing, sir,” one of the lads said quickly, all innocence and wide eyes.

Zach didn’t wait. He shoved past the bikes and bolted down the pavement, heart thudding. He risked a glance back. Collins looked furious, spinning his bike wheel in frustration as Mr. Langley approached. A lecture was coming, and Zach wasn’t sticking around to hear it. He ran until he reached the traffic lights, which took an eternity to change, then disappeared down the street.

He wanted to get home quickly. The sky was already bruising into evening, clouds gathering like a warning. But he couldn’t take his usual route. If the bullies decided to follow, their bikes would catch him in seconds. And he absolutely wasn’t going down Henley Avenue again. Not after what he’d seen there. Not today.

He turned onto Rosebank, a quiet cul‑de‑sac lined with neat bungalows and tidy gardens. Cats lounged on low walls, blinking lazily at him as he passed. The air smelled faintly of damp earth and cut grass. He slipped down the side of a house with a huge caravan under a flapping tarp, found the narrow gap in the fence, and squeezed through into the overgrown alleyway beyond.

Not many people knew about this cut‑through. It was technically someone’s driveway, which made it risky, but it sliced a huge chunk off the walk home. Zach moved quickly, stepping around old carrier bags and the shattered remains of an oven whose metal innards spilled across the mud like a gutted creature. The alley narrowed, funnelling him toward the dead‑end he knew was coming.

The only way out was up.

He looked at the tree rising before him, its branches reaching over the fence like skeletal arms. Wedged into the trunk, as if the tree had grown around it, stood an old black lamppost with an iron frame and a glass lantern. Somehow, despite the usual vandalism in places like this, the glass remained intact. As if people sensed it was needed.

Right on cue, the lamp flickered to life, glowing a warm, fragile orange in the deepening gloom. The branches above curled down like a giant withered hand, as though trying to swallow the lamppost whole.

He began to climb. He’d done it once before with Grace, she’d made it look easy, laughing as she swung herself over the fence. Thinking of her now steadied him, just a little.

Halfway up, he glanced back. He could still see the caravan through the rain, though a huge bush blocked most of the view. He thought he heard something, a rustle, a footstep? The rain thickened, cold and heavy, drumming on the bare branches and soaking his hair, his clothes, his skin.

He looked over the fence. The drop was bigger than he remembered. Much bigger. The alley on the other side opened into a back lane of garages, abandoned cars, and a sagging sofa being slowly eaten by rats. The street beyond led almost directly to Grace’s house.

Then he heard voices.

He pressed himself into the trunk, trying to vanish into the bark. Through the gaps between houses; he saw the gang drifting down the street, shouting, laughing, smashing a bottle against someone’s wall. Their hoodies kept the rain off; they didn’t seem to care about the weather.

A bark split the air behind him.

Zach twisted, heart hammering. Nothing. A dog from one of the houses? No. This bark was deeper, stranger. The Lore house dog. That awful, guttural sound that had haunted him since the morning.

Another bark. Closer.

A shape moved at the far end of the alley.

Too big to be a dog.

Rain blurred everything, turning the world into streaks of grey, but he could make out a figure. Tall. Dark. Shuffling. The sound of the dog now seemed to come from below him, but when he looked down, the ground was empty.

He edged forward. He’d rather face Collins than… whatever this was.

He looked back again and froze.

The figure was clearer now. The same hat. The same coat. The same sunken eyes he’d seen at Lore house. Drifting toward him like a skeleton pulled from the mist, with withered hands hanging from the sleeves.

Zach’s breath caught.

He edged along the branch. He had to get down. Now. The barks stretched unnaturally, as if time itself was being pulled thin. The figure lifted its head.

Zach slipped.

The world flipped. The ground slammed into him with a crack like splintering wood. Air blasted from his lungs. For a heartbeat he lay stunned, suspended in shock, then pain erupted through him, sharp and total. His elbow had taken the brunt; his leg twisted beneath him.

A raw, broken scream tore out of him.


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Pendulum Days – Afraid – 01

Lore House

“Remember this please, none of this is real.
It’s only how I feel”

Zach hated to walk this way to school, but this morning the circumstances left him with little choice. The kids who had stolen his lunch money last week had been at the corner of the high street, lurking and threatening people as they went by. They weren’t choosy about who they stole from either, with many of the kids in his class falling victim to their bullying needs. It wasn’t even about the money, or what little they actually got; they did it simply because they could. It would have been fine if Grace was with him, he thought, as she always gave him the feeling of combined strength.

He was sure they wouldn’t take anything if she were here. Their agenda so far seemed to have some moral boundaries, excluding girls from their reign of terror. Together they would have crossed over to the other side and walked to school like they did most mornings, chatting and dreading another dull day at Braxton Hill Comprehensive. But Grace was off to the dentist, something she was extremely excited about, as she’d told him the day before when they walked home together. Grace was his neighbour, living two doors down, and she was his best friend.

They’d been friends for what seemed like forever, though in truth it had only been two years since Zach and his family had moved into the neighbourhood. He was a little shy at meeting new people, which was fine, because Grace was more than happy to come up to you, shake your hand, and invite you over for lunch. She was taller than Zach, though he’d begun to think he’d grown a little more in the past few months. When they walked side by side now, he noticed she no longer seemed to tower over him.

They would walk the same route every morning to school, stopping at the store for Mars bars and KitKats depending on what mood they were in; unless Grace was in one of her “more savoury moods,” in which case they would stock up on crisps and nut bars.

But this morning Grace was dentist‑bound, which left Zach walking to school by himself. Opting to forgo being idiotically brave, he’d chosen to go the long way to avoid the bullies, which he hated to do. Not just because it took him twice as long, but because it took him down Henley Avenue, which presented the notorious Lore House, an old crumbling ruin which every kid in school would tell you was either haunted, or where a murderer lived, or that it used to be an old mental asylum. Depending on who you talked to, and how inclined they were toward the frightful. The Lore property was a grand Victorian house that dominated the south side of Henley Avenue. Even walking on the opposite side of the street was no good, as the house seemed to pull you in with its iron fences that curled at the tips like long, twisted bony fingers reaching out. Zach hated it; he hated the street, the house, and how it made him feel.

He didn’t think he was a nervous person generally, but there was something about the street and that old house that really unnerved him. The dead trees in the yard and the old car rusting away in the driveway did nothing to improve its appearance or his suspicions of what lay within. He wasn’t sure about witches or ghosts, but he knew something unpleasant lived there.

No kids lived on Henley Avenue either, as far as he knew; and the other houses, though less creepy, weren’t the most welcoming he’d ever seen. Zach quickened his pace, hoping his twelve‑year‑old legs would not give up on him. The last time he’d come down this road had been with Grace, on the last day of school before the summer holidays. In their free spirits they had decided to come down the street, altering their usual route home in the excitement of summer freedom.

The street led to a cut‑through to Ash Park, one of the best parks in town, as it normally accommodated an ice‑cream van, and subsequently, children high on sugary creamy wonderment causing riots on sunny days.

He remembered how they had been caught up in talk of plans for the summer. Grace was going to France for the first week and had invited Zach to come with her, her parents eager for her to bring a friend. Zach had never been to France before, and excited though he was, he’d sworn he wouldn’t be eating any frog’s legs. They had stopped suddenly outside the Lore House as Grace complained of something in her shoe.

No one really knew why the house was called the Lore House; it was one of those things passed on in each retelling. The most popular story was that it used to be an old orphanage run by an evil spectre of a man who would lock the children in rooms no bigger than cells, starving and torturing them into soulless zombies. Grace had taken off her left shoe and was tapping it on the pavement to remove any stowaways when they heard an almighty cry.

At first Zach thought it was a cat in distress, as he’d often heard cats in the alley behind his house crying and calling to each other in the night. But Grace stood up in alarm. Suddenly they heard whispers coming from the right side of the house. Another scream pierced their bright sunny afternoon. It was still hard to tell if the noise came from an animal or a person. Then there were shouts, and Grace had gone up to the gates, as if to be closer to the action, or in Zach’s thoughts, danger. He had tried to get her to come away, but she said she’d seen something in one of the windows, a huge shape, she insisted.

He stepped forward to pull her back when suddenly a huge black dog jumped from the bushes and leapt towards the fence, crashing through the stinging nettles and leaves. It barked and snapped, saliva flinging through the bars from its slobbering mouth while they both jumped back in alarm. With that, they had turned and run to the end of the street, not looking back but hearing the dog’s bark follow them all the way, accompanied by hostile screams and shouts from someone, or something.

Now Zach was here on his own, and he horribly remembered that day and missed Grace not being just an arm’s length away. He quickened his pace going past the house, mindful not to look at it at all. The gloomy sky above him was promising rain.

An old Ford Fiesta came trundling up the road, its exhaust giving off a black plume of smoke in its wake. Zach waited for it to pass before he crossed over. He didn’t want to linger down this road longer than he had to, but something made him turn back. He looked up the pavement and there, lying on the floor on the opposite side of the road, were some of his school books. He suddenly took off his backpack, Kermit the Frog grinned up at him, his mouth the zipper, which had come undone and allowed his books to tumble out. No doubt as he’d hurried past the house, he thought.

Annoyed, he quickly crossed back over and went to retrieve his books. While picking them up, he looked up at the old Lore House. Smoke was coming out of the chimney stack perched precariously in the middle of the roof which, to Zach, looked like it would topple over at any moment.

A giant black bird took off from the roof, a huge feather falling to the ground over the fence. Smoke, he thought; that means someone does live there. Packing the books into his bag and securing the zip, he started off again when suddenly a flash of light caught his attention. Looking to the left, he saw the giant wooden door to the house close, the glass window at the top catching the sunlight like a huge eye. Was someone leaving? Despite being afraid, curiosity kept him rooted to the spot. A sudden bang startled him, so loud that a bird in the tree next to him took flight with a disgruntled hoot.

He suddenly heard the sound of faint music, old music, like the type his grandma would listen to whenever he stayed at her house. It was haunting music, warbling over the bushes towards him. Zach stepped back and stole a quick glance around the hedge.

He saw an old figure shuffling down the drive to the side of the house. He couldn’t make out the features very well, though Zach guessed him to be very old, and he was wearing a strangely styled hat. He heard a door open and then the patter of feet. Suddenly the huge black dog came into view. Noticing; if not smelling. Zach, it barked furiously, a strange bark that ripped through him and echoed dimly all around. Without looking back, Zach fled from the house and ran all the way to the end of the street. He barely dodged the number 45 bus, causing the driver to sound his horn. He ran past other kids on their way to school and came to rest outside the school gates, where he stopped to catch his breath. He promised himself he would never go down that road again, with or without Grace.


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Halfway from home (story reading)


Jasmine, and if he closed his eyes, the sound of the ocean. The smell though was always the strongest, it was what always clung to him. The ghost that gently haunted, touching his heart. It came and went, sometimes intense, taking him to that place where he always felt safe. Always felt them there.

He looked out of the window at the planet below, the strange orb spinning silently in its indifference to him. The purple hues lifted off the surface as if into a dream, blurring and smudging with the swallowing blackness of space.

Jasmine and warm sand….

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Into the night (story reading)


It was cold, the floor was always cold. Bare foot or with socks. The coldness seemed to spread with each step, like walking on ice. But it didn’t matter so much tonight.

He flung the duvet back and they woke with a start, their eyes suddenly ablaze.

“Is it time?” they asked, sitting up and pushing back into the deep plush pillows.

“It is, let’s go.” He spoke, calmly but with an urgency…..

 

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Tea?

“Take milk in your tea Janine?” the old lady called, her purple hands gripping the milk jug tightly. She stood by the fridge, the yellow light illuminating her aged face. The small creature in the chair shook her head.

“Odd. Couldn’t have a tea without a nice bit of milk, me!” She said, and as if to prove the point; she slopped the milk in her own cup on the table, bringing the contents up to the brim. She returned the milk jug back to the fridge and sat down opposite the girl.

“Digestive?” She asked, nudging the plate full of biscuits towards the young creature.

She shook her head again, her coloured red hair falling down in front of her face.

“You kids these days, never eat anything. All skin and bone. When I was a child, my mother used to feed us dripping on bread. That would put meat on you!”

She pulled the plate of biscuits back towards her and stole one up off the china. She took a bite. The girl watched as the crumbs fell onto her flowery blouse carelessly, some falling on the dark wooden table beneath.

“Me’ husband used to love digestive biscuits, his favourite they were. Always dunking them in his tea. He used to get so mad if they fell in.” She laughed at the memory and took another bite from her own biscuit which had escaped the perilous dunk intact. The clock on the wall behind them ticked away merrily, filling the silence with its pendulous rhythm.

Her kitchen was small but clean. It was dated, like most kitchens of the elderly; but was cosy in an old cottage way. The two of them sat at the table while the afternoon sun shone through the windows. The girl shifted in her seat. The old lady looked up.

“Are you uncomfortable?” She asked sweetly.

The girl didn’t say anything but continued to stare at her across the table.

“Would you like me to call your parents to come and pick you up? It’s getting late.” She said. She drank some of her tea casually.

At this the girl raised her head slightly.

The old lady nodded. She put down her cup and slid her chair back. She walked around the table slowly, holding her side where her hip usually acted up this time of the day. She stood behind the girl and pulled the tape off her mouth. It was wet slightly as the girls’ tears had trickled down upon it.

“Please, let me go. I’m so sorry. Please, I just want to get out of here. I won’t tell anyone….” The girl sobbed. Her eyes were as red as her coloured hair. Her hands were tied to the back of the chair with a belt, which had belonged to the husband who had so enjoyed digestive biscuits.

“I’d be happy to. But what’s to stop you coming back, eh? Or breaking into Ethel’s house next door?” the old woman said. And with this she reached to the counter and picked up the large bread knife she had on her chopping board. She placed it down next to the girl, whose eyes flared at the sight of it.

“We won’t. We won’t I swear, please just let me and the others go.” The girl, no older than fifteen, wailed. The old lady chuckled.

“Oh, I’m afraid Jack has been having some fun with your friends down in the cellar. I doubt there’s much left of them now. He’s such a good dog. Very loyal.” The old woman said. She picked up the knife and slipped it through the belt buckle, freeing the girl’s hands.

The girl sat there, the weight of the situation falling upon her in that heavy moment. She glanced at the back door, not far really. If she pushed the old lady and made a run for it, she could probably make it. But what if it was locked? The old lady walked back around the table, the knife in her hand, the other holding her dodgy hip. She heaved heavily; years of smoking had finally caught up with her.

“Well. I’m not going to hurt you; not like you’d do to me I’d say. I think a fright is bad enough for a girl your age.”

“Then what do you want?” The girl asked, fresh confusion in her skull.

The old lady looked at her with her milky eyes, as if surprised by the question.

“Why, to have some tea of course.” She said, lifting her cup; indicating she should do the same. The girl stared for a moment longer before conceding and picked up the tea that sat on the table in front of her. Her hands shook and were sore from being bound to the chair. She was unsure of playing along, but now her hands were free, she sensed a bit more of a chance of escape.

Lifting it to her lips she sipped from the cup, the scorching water burning her mouth in her haste to drink it. She flashed her eyes to the old lady, as if to say ‘okay, now let me go’.

“There. That wasn’t too bad, was it?” She said, sipping her own mug which had a picture of Charles and Diana on the china. She closed her eyes, savouring the brewy goodness of a warm cup of tea, deeply satisfied.

It had been about a month ago that she’d had rats in her garden, and a nice chap from the council had brought some traps and some rat poison to do away with the horrid beasts.


Taken from Impermanence of things – out now

Impermanence of things of things book cover

Conjured darkness III

PART IPART II


The small wooden cross Mary had on her wall had slipped, tumbling free from the crooked nail which was driven into her dark small cottage. She noticed it now in the candlelight, her attention brought to that empty space on the wall by a reason she could not place. She went across and picked it up, holding it in her hands, remembering her mother who had fashioned it from the wood that surrounded them there in the village. Her mother, so capable. Cooking creating, tilling, mending. She did it all, for it were her and her children only. Mary, now half her mother’s age when she died, looked at the small cross, her thoughts snatching a prayer somewhere in her mind.

It was then she heard it.

Going to her small window, she looked up into the sky at first, the screeching wails sounding like birds fighting. In the night it was odd, maybe owls she thought. It came again, this time lower and more awful, drifting over the trees which lay all around. A candle flickered to life in her neighbour’s house, the village being awoken by a noise that seem to come from another world. Mary saw it then, a dark stain in the sky looming over Pollux Hall. It was like a smudge in the sky, a dark oil seeming to leak and spread from the tip of the tower, the only part visible from where she was in the village. She clutched the cross tighter, the evils of the world now loose in the land it seemed.

A thump on the door startled her, and she called out in alarm.

“Who is there?”

No answer returned, but the sturdy wooden door suddenly swung forth revealing Jacob, out of breath and eyes wide, hovering on the threshold.

“Mary, it is time.” He heaved as he tried to catch his breath. He had run from the church, the wolves following him. His eyes were darting all around, but he did not enter her house.

“Jacob, come inside. There is death in the air tonight.” Mary said, coming towards him. Jacob ducked inside and slammed the door, the sound of a wolf howling nearby followed him inside.

“Wolves?!” Mary asked, surprised. Jacob nodded.

“Did you hear the sound before?” He asked her, his eyes fixing on the cross then back to her eyes.

“Yes, and look, Pollux Hall.” She said, drawing him over to the window where the darkness swirled above the tower.

“It is time Mary, it is tonight. I’ve seen them all, I watched them gather. They go to free Agatha from the hall.” He said, almost gleefully.

“All of them?” Mary asked, a gasp in her words.

“All of them, tonight is the night. We must hurry though. They must be there already and who knows what is happening with those men in the mix up there.” He added. She stood for a moment, as if unsure of what to do next. The darkness spluttering over her candle and her mind taken to many places all at once. She then put the cross on the side and went across to the small cupboard in the corner.

“It is ready, though?” Jacob asked her.

“Yes, it is ready.” Mary replied and took out a black sack from the cupboard.

“We must be quick; the wolves are thirsty for more than just our blood.” He said. She nodded, taking a cloak from a peg.

“I know what will help.” And she took down from above her door some sprigs of flowers and herbs, intertwined with twigs and string. She handed them to him, and he smiled.

“I hope so.” He said, and they both left quickly, their path hastened as they made their way towards the hall through the village. The wolves, watching, but kept at bay.

He rubbed his eyes, the glass that had showered down had covered them all. He felt a sharp pain, a piece of glass caught at the corner of his eye, his vision on one side flooded with a crimson lens.

The room suddenly froze, the temperature dropping like snowfall. A sound and wind flurried inside, scratching at their minds and souls.

Agatha stood, her bonds now gone, and her stare fixed upon those men before her.

A blackness began to pour inside through the broken windows, a thick oozing smog as dark as charcoal flooded all around them. Some of the men tried for the door, but it would not yield, and in the trapped panic thye left-out yells of fear and weakness.

Jonathan watched through the only eye that could now see, his mouth mumbling prayers and sacred words which he hoped would protect him and the others there. God was not listening it seemed as a demon like figure began to mass there in the tower, the smoke filling into a being that sucked the light from the room. Outside they heard yells and calls, the others being attacked and laid upon by the other witches who had travelled there that night. Their identities still hidden, even in those dying moments of breath to those guards.

Inside the tower a voice began to utter the foulest words to those righteous men. It seemed to creep out of the walls and all over their skin, echoing in the chambers of their mind. It spoke to them of a reckoning, of a day which had come to pass when all would see for what truth was abound in the land.

Margellwood hunched over Agatha, a towering figure now behind her, seeming to fill the space they shared. Jonathan slumped against the wall, the others in their panic and fear huddled on the other side, clutching tightly to their crosses. The voice rang out still, the rain now pouring in from the window and splattering the wooden floor with rainy tears.

“And the beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words.” Jonathan said, an anger rising in him.

Margellwood stopped suddenly, flicking her head towards him.

“He speaks now does he, he acts now against his own demise.” She coughed, the words sticky and heavy.

“You have no power here, and you will not banish us into the dark. You mistake your actions here for power.” He bravely retorted. Margellwood laughed, her cackle fading to a hiss.

“You are not important, and you will not succeed. I can wither your heart Jonathan Prose, splinter your bones and send you mad with voices. But now, you will watch as what you hope for the most to disappear, and for you to lose.” The Witch said, placing her hand upon Agatha.

“You are the mistaken and forsaken one.” He said, and he pulled out his book and began to recite lines from it. The air swirled and hummed, a greyness suddenly buckling the light in the room. With a snarl Margellwood vomited out a sludge, hissing words bubbling and exploding out of it. It oozed and rose up off the floor, floating towards the men and coating the walls. The words seemed to battle one another, caught in a fight to overrun and devour.

Agatha turned, she looked up to the creature that Margellwood had risen into. She found her eyes and searched there, for only a moment. She turned and looked at the room, seeking something that seemed to be missing.

“Come, we must go.” She suddenly said to the witch, and she clapped three times and the room burst into flames, the darkness slithering out of the high window above like steam leaving a dead body in the cold.

Jacob and Mary could see the tower now, fire licking out of the high windows, illuminating the dead night’s sky. They ran on further up the hill, the trees clustering around them like lost souls coming together. They stopped suddenly seeing the dark shapes appear from the air in front of them.

They hadn’t been seen, and they ducked down low, a thicket at the side of the path covering them. They heard the voices now; it was Agatha and Margellwood. Mary took Jacob’s hand, not out of fear, but to steady his heart.

“You came.” Agatha said, her voice sweet and low, almost a whisper.

“They are done taking. Tonight, it all ends.” Margellwood said, running her hand through the woman’s hair gently.

Around them, coming out of the trees and with pops of black smoke the other witches appeared. Hooting and wailing, clicking their fingers in rhythmic unison.

“Tonight, we shall dominate and lay a waste to this rotten land!” Margellwood called, seeing the others appearing around them.

Mary and Jacob felt a kick behind them, and they both fell forward out of the thicket and back onto the road. They both stumbled to their feet, and the witches encircled them, leeringly.

Agatha came towards them, her eyes wide with an unusual light dancing in them. Off into the tree the howl of wolves was heard, and as the tower behind them burnt, the screams of men rattled through the sky.

“Over. It is over.” Agatha said. The other witches began to chant, a horrible, gurgled incantation that they rumbled and shouted. Some of them leaping into the air, the space now alive with movement and sound.

Jacob clutched Mary’s hand and they stood forth defiantly.

“You are not lost to us cousin.” Mary said, her free hand outstretched.

“Death shall take you master Jacob, Mary death will spirit you off tonight.” Margellwood hissed, coming up behind Agatha. “To see your sister, down in the ground.”

“Keep your vile mouth shut you witch.” Jacob roared.

The all laughed around him, bar Agatha. She looked at the small sack that Mary had at her waist. Her eyes flashing there in a moment of realisation.

“It won’t work, it would be folly to try.” Agatha said suddenly, stepping backwards in alarm.

Mary caught her stare and realised she had understood. She snatched at the sack, and Jacob reached quickly into his pocket.

“Tricks and toys is it?” Margellwood snarled, mockingly.

Agatha turned and ran, back up the path towards the hall. Margellwood turned, watching her, a confusion now spreading across her face like a setting sun.

“What’s thou….”  But in that moment an engulfing light had sprung from the black sack and the words that followed from Jacob seized all of those present in a captured state. The skin on the witches became taught, and they rigidly creaked and cracked as if water were being squeezed from dead wood. Their faces contorted, spasms of anger and horror flashed across them until they all collapsed to the floor. All except Margellwood who seemed to be trying to resist the most. Jacob pressed on., reading aloud from a small book he held in his hand. The light and the sound now coming from the sack danced and glided around them, bathing them in an ethereal glow. The sound, at trumpeting call of another world, seemed to kiss upon the skin.

Margellwood snarled, her eyes leaking a blackness now. Oily tears staining her face. She fell to her knees finally and dove her hands into the earth and seemed to be pleading, begging for something. In a final move she had bitten off part of her tongue which flopped from her mouth now as the rest of her body crumpled to the ground. The witches all now lay about the road and by the trees, still but not dead, a change overtaking them as their souls silently came back. Mary looked at Jacob and smiled, they had succeeded.

Agatha ran, her heart pulsing now in her chest. She could hear the blood in her head, the river of red rushing around her mind. She ran up to the hall, the tower now completely engulfed in the flames which reached up towards heaven. She could see shapes moving in the courtyard below, dark images seeming to smoulder in the cold air. She ran onwards, past the hall and down through the garden to the stream which flowed at the back. She stopped by the banks, looking all around, hoping not to find what she was looking for.

It was there though, across the stream. It’s hunched shape dark and threatening. She fell to her knees and closed her eyes. Little spots of white floating in the space before her as she heard the flames, the voices of the men and the sound of a trumpet away from where she rested. She bit her lip, to feel something, to see where she was still and if it were really true. Opening her eyes she felt a warm feeling across her cheek, like sunshine catching her skin. The creature beyond stood, a rotting smell seeming to float across the water towards her from it.

“I take it back.” She threw the line out to the figure. Her words quiet and having much less weight than she’d hoped.

The figure looked at her, saying nothing.

“I can do that, I can choose!” She said again, desperately.

The figure took a step towards her, a groan emitting from it’s very centre. Agatha clutched her chest, frightened now and loosing hope. She closed her eyes again, despite the figure moving towards her, a ghostly groaning heaving out of it. Her hand still on her chest, she sighed. Light tears coming to her eyes.

“I am sorry.” She said, meaning those words more then any she had meant in her life. Repeating them unknowingly, waiting for the fade.

The village was bright as the sun speckled the thatched roofs withs it’s afternoon rays. A light rain had just fallen, and the sunshine shimmered off like beautiful diamonds. Though the market town nearby was the great hub of activity for selling wares, the village now bustled with the same energy with many people passing through and stopping to gather by the church and small the circled area in the centre of the village. Colourful ribbons were hung about, and the place had a May festival feel to it with laughter easily heard above the chatter from those who lingered. The church’s doors were wide open, and music flowed out of the huge wooden box, luring people towards it with the promise of food, entertainment and joy.

Mary and Jacob stood by the door, bundling little sprigs of heather together and handing them out to those who wanted them. Inside the church, the pews had gone, leaving the space open, where people came and went. In the far corner Agatha sat on a stool next to an old man, the sleaves on his arm rolled up. She was shaking something in a small vile, watching the amber liquid separate from the water within. He grimaced as he looked at the bench next to them, all manner of instruments and potions set forth. She caught his stare, and patted his hand reassuringly, he smiled back at her as she popped the lid from the vile and got to work.

Outside in the cemetery, fresh graves had been dug and recently occupied. Those who had not survived the events had been buried with rites and a service not before seen in the village. With their passing though, came a peace it seemed. One of the graves, not far from that of Jacob’s sister which sported fresh heather and flowers, was large and it too bore fresh flowers. Milada Margellwood, now at peace. A swirling triquetra symbol proudly, and almost defiantly, pride of place on her grave marker. Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

END


 

The Hawthorne Project (out now)

The neighborhood of west Hawthorne Drive in quiet Greenfield Wisconsin is filled with dark stories and darker rumors. There’s the haunting by a faceless creature. They’ve all seen it. They’ve all experienced its presence. On the one hand, it seems to desire the life of mortals, on the other, it befriends a small boy. It both mocks and assists. Runs away and stands face-to-faceless face.

And not to mention the mysterious death of the street’s namesake, Jim Hawthorne. His strange and reclusive widow peers from behind her drawn curtains, rarely leaving her home, but to walk her little dog or tend her manicured gardens… yet she’s not one for giving up any of the cul-de-sac’s secrets.

But in the days leading up to Halloween, events take a more sinister turn, including strange visitations, an eerie violet haze in the sky, attempting murder, breaking-and-entering, and multiple police check-ins… until not one of the residents can deny: something or someone is here to stay.

Featured authors:

  • River Dixon
  • Chisto Healy
  • Tristan Drue Rogers & Sarah Anne Rogers
  • Lou Rasmus
  • Mark Ryan
  • Mark Towse
  • Joshua Marsella
  • Darren Diarmuid
  • Robert Birkhofer
  • Jeremiah Fox

OUT NOW


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Conjured darkness I

The night loomed like a blanket of opportunity, the dying sun snuffed out hours ago to make way for the moon and mischief. They had all been called, they had all answered in their own ways. Creatures carrying messages, slithering in the dark spaces so the people of the village would not see. The answers quick and decisive. It had been long enough; they had waited too long. Now was the time.

They came like puffs of brown smoke, the dirt and the earth puffing out in a cough. Misshapen things with rough hands and suspicious eyes. Dark features with tongues that clicked, the idling hands of late, eager to begin. Twenty of them in this seemingly small space, yet they seemed to suck the world in further in their placement around the barn. The horses were outside, braying and huffing to the activity which now disturbed their night-time.

Witches gathered.

They had come with one intent, one thing only brought them together. Their coven strong, but usually displaced. This power concentrated for too long brought about strange energies which alerted many to their location. They had been hunted of course, many of them escaping the iron wrath of the witchfinder general which pummelled the land. It had taken a lot of their power to evade him, and they were cautious to gather in such a mass, their own limitations to the power they craved ever evident; for Lucifer gave only what he wanted and never too much to be disadvantaged. His kisses were tinged with a poison which held the knowing and forgetting of all. Which is what many sought. To forget.

The candle hissed and three loud knocks on the ground quietened them all. They were gathered in a circle, as was customary, the croaks and silent screams of their souls hushed as the caller of the event moved into the centre.

“We know why we are here. And we know what we must do.” She breathed, a coldness hanging down now from the rafters where two little eyes watched.

“About time!” A voice came from the group, flicked out from a forked tongue.

“Time is no consequence. But it is indeed the hour in which they must fall. He has said to me not to be afraid.” She said, to which the group reacted loudly.

“Afraid!”

“Fear?”

“Cowardly.”

A disgruntled ripple came from these words. The two eyes in the rafters watched on, belonging to a little boy no older than eleven.

“You are fools to not be afraid. We have given the souls of our being, but there are dangers which lie in an empty vessel. Do not let it flood you now, do not waver from the road into the woods. They will pick you out, they will trap you with their words of heaven. He has warned me that some of you are weak in this regard. Be afraid of this and be guarded.” She said, her eye scanning the barn as if knowing the weaker links. This seemed to settle them though, some nodding in agreement.

As he watched, Jacob ran his finger around and around the red string on his wrist. His eyes alive, but his hand fidgeting in fright. He had known they would come here, being close enough to the village but hidden by the clump of woods which curled around the north side where the church was. He tried not to breathe as he watched those below, swaying and naying like the horses which usually stood in the same spot. He had come, because he had known. Watching one of the witches for some time, her best efforts on protection falling to his superior senses and cleaner soul. He’d trapped her familiar, a horrible grey cat with one eye which prowled the village, extracting what he needed and releasing it, none the wiser, to carry on its deceitful deeds.

Now he was here, and despite his good intent; he was but afraid.

“We must bind ourselves first, it has been too long since we have all been present.” One of the witches offered, her crippled hand reaching out into the space in front of her. The witch in the centre nodded.

“So be it, come.” And she knelt down on the spot, and reached her hands out, the others quickly following suit. As the words tumbled out of her mouth, the candles around them seemed to grow low, a horrible sense of death and despair creeping inside the barn, swirling around like the breath of a corpse. A vine, thorned and rotten, sprung forth from the outstretched arms in the centre, quickly ensnaring the witch directly in front. It coiled around her arms and leapt to the one next to her, doing the same and proceeding quickly around the circle. The words came in their awfulness and the binding of the witches seemed complete as it plunged into the ground, making the spot where it entered dark like soot, and evaporating from around their wrists.

“This commitment to the coven binds us all, so tread warily. Our deeds are pure in their deceit, but do not stray from the black blood which now binds us. If one falls, we all shall. But as we rise and grow more powerful, so too will all of you. It is done.” The centre witch said, concluding the spell and standing once more. She clicked her neck awkwardly, the sound of broken twigs cracking around the barn, and she began to stretch upwards, growing slightly larger than she had been previously. The bones in her hand cracked and she pulled at her fingers, breaking them and stretching them forth abnormally. The sound was horrible to Jacob, it reminded him of his grandmother cracking nuts by the fire. That awful woman.

“They come and go with their sheep like minds. They breed and die, bringing others to our land. They swill the poetry from the trough of that church, washing it down into the land. It tries to bleed into our bones. The othering that we chose, the distancing of self is always besieged by their self-concluded righteousness. Sisters we have seen hang and burn. Stripped naked for them, poked and violated. Our ways are dark and dangerous, but they are our own. Yes, he has his plan, but it is all written, even in their own books.” The voice seemed more human this time to Jacob, despite the abnormal appearance of the witch now in the middle of the group. He noted their names of course, all but her; she still alluded him. She was someone he did not know…. yet.

“Agatha. You know whom I speak of.” A large exhale seemed to come from them all. The reason they knew they were there.

“Agatha. They took her, as you know. They did not burn or hang her. The fools who think that destroys us inside. They took her, and she was strong, she told them nothing of us. They tried of course to trick, to tease the information out of her. Beauty in their eyes is betwixting. Agatha’s bones do not lie in some place, scorched and dismissed. They took from me….” Here her voice cracked. “…us, a sister who they keep to themselves. In the house beyond the rise of Drample hill.” At the name, many of those present spat on the floor.

“She will return to us; we will bring her back. We have the means.” Said a witch who stood close to one of the candles, the silhouetted figure seemed to dance in the candle flame. They all hissed with agreement.

“Yes, she will. And yes, we do. But we must go beyond retrieving our sister this time. We must come out of the shadows, into their awful light of delusion. We must teach them this time that we will not be plucked, fucked or destroyed. This time, this land will all be ours to come and go freely. This is the time for our great aftermath.” She said, her hands rising upwards much like the preacher would in the church not far from where the barn stood.

They all cheered in their own witchy ways, some thumping the floor with their feet bringing up dust and disorder. The noise startled one of the magpies which had sat quietly on a beam next to his master, the familiar took flight suddenly up into the rafters, coming to rest on a beam just by Jacob. It’s eyes finding the boy, it’s call yet to cry out.

Heaven is shut/open (Story reading)


The plane took off, soaring into the sky as the sun died on the horizon. All was safe, all parts working. Wheels stored safely as the streaming sound of pressure encased them. He looked out of the window and watched the ground give way. He sighed. He’d hoped for a failure. Maybe later when they were out over the ocean, no chance of rescue there. No one ever survived a plane crashing into the sea….

Read on


Island

He could see the rain off in the distance, across the sea. A huge sheet of it moving slowly across the bay. The grey clouds draped like a curtain, pulled back to reveal the essence of nature. The storms here were intense, but short lived. Like the most intense arguments, they usually ended before they’d even begun. Not that the weather really bothered him today, his mind was set on something deeper than the weather.

The hotel was nestled in Hibiscus Bay, on the south side of the small island. Sadly, the name was a historic element as the hibiscus, and most of the natural fauna had long since disappeared. Replaced by cultivated palm trees and stretching lawns of the hotel which dominated most of the bay. That is not to say it was not beautiful, but it was not authentic. Nature with lipstick. Ironically, the main reception’s flower arrangements did include them in the display, their flowers all flown in from the mainland.

He crossed the cool reception, busy now with guests departing and others eager for the organised tours which the small minibuses outside promised. Sweet lime and jasmine floated from the candles flickering away around the reception desk, tickling his nose, mixed with the sun cream from the bodies before him and the smell of the air-conditioning. He swept through the lobby quickly, making his way to his rental car parked under a huge palm tree. As he stepped outside into the humidity, the rain was just coming to a stop, the clouds above him already being blown into a stretched gauze of grey, the blue threatening to bleed through.

His Jeep took the corner of the hotel resort harshly, clipping the ferns and the greens which peppered the entrance way. He knew where he was going, and he knew it would not take too long; but he had an urgency within him now, now he was here. Here, he’d been here a few days already but now was the moment. He’d tossed and turned in his mind what to do. Back at home he’d roamed his house like a lonely ghost. Now in the tropical surroundings, the issues hadn’t gone away, indeed the equatorial sun had shown them up further, almost blinding him. But he’d got an idea, one which may or may not work; but was something. And something was more than he’d had in a long time.

The road he needed took him off the main one, the dirt underneath now spraying up in dust as the car sped down a deserted track. The palm oil plants bloomed beside him, slowly replacing the sugarcane that dominated the greenery and island. The road began to slope slightly, as if his world was tumbling forward into the ocean which he knew awaited him outside of the green lushness of the plants all around him. A small butterfly, beautifully coloured as they tend to be, fluttered inside the opened cageness of his car. It bobbed before him, threatening to rest on the steering wheel before seeming to change its mind, flying off through the open window on the other side of the car. He watched it for a few moments, before turning the Jeep a sharp left and zooming out of the trees.

It was like a jewel now, the bright twinkling ocean, freshly watered further and now being kissed by the sunshine which streamed down through the clouds. Shadows moved out at sea, the clouds above in their own dance. He’d been here only once before, but he knew this was where he needed to come. He pulled his car up to a stop, the tires rolling slightly onto the damp white sand. He sat, his hands clutched to the steering wheel, supporting him and his thoughts. It was very humid, and despite the drive in which the air stirred him, little beads of sweat trickled by his ears, matting his hair slightly.

“Time”. He said aloud to no one and thumped the steering wheel twice before unbuckling his seat belt and sliding out of the Jeep.

Very few people came here, he did not know it, but he was glad of it. He needed the seclusion. What kept them away, he put if down to the weather, but the small area was known to many islanders as a place of sorrow. The fishing was terrible in this spot, the currents mixing frenziedly just out beyond the rocks, fighting with one another beneath the waves. Though the beach was beautiful, it was inaccessible unless you drove down through the plantations. Most of the other beaches on the island were walkable, and you could roam and enjoy the sandy smiles easily before strolling into a village or back to a resort. Here it was cut off, a huge rocky crescent scraping itself outward into the ocean.

He walked a little on the sand, avoiding the lure of the waters which promised release to many things. He mounted one of the rocks and looked across to see what he wanted. There before him was the tiny island, no bigger than his back garden at home. It sported a few trees, and a giant bird took off from one of them as he watched. This was what he remembered, and what he needed now.

Walking towards it, he listened to the sound of the ocean slapping at the beach and some of the rocks around him. The air was hot still, but there was a slight breeze finding the sweat on his skin. The aftermath of the storm. He reached the edge of the water, the sand rising before him like the body of a sea monster, popping up in patches towards the small island. It was a little causeway of sorts, but some of the sections were quite deep in the water, and as he made his way across, the water of the world made it up to his waist. He carried his shoes above his head, his clothes he knew would dry quickly. His bare feet found a few stray rocks along the way, and he winced once or twice, hoping the skin hadn’t broken. Finally, he came to the other side, and he placed his shoes on a rock and squeezed out the water from his clothes, shaking some of it off like a dog would coming out of the sea.

He looked up at the trees there on the island, the palms seemed to rise up gigantically, bending out and stretching over the ocean. There were more here than he’d thought, the illusion of the far away made it seem less complicated. Now he could see the vibrant plants and life this tiny island held. He turned to face the beach, for some reason checking that he indeed was alone. He was, and he stepped forth into the shade the palms and plants offered him.

For a small space, the air was much cooler, and he could feel a dankness, the water dripping in the leaves from the earlier rain. He heard a bird fluttering somewhere, and the clicks and ticks of the insects housed inside the cool space. Going further, he quickly found the very centre of the tiny island and stood there looking both at the trees, then down to the ground. The floor was sandy and soiliy, hard roots tangled everywhere. It reminded him of orchids in plant pots, their strange alien cords in the dusty soil. So many people treating them like roses, over watering.

He dropped to his knees, and feeling like a pirate, began digging with his hands, scooping up sand and soil with his cupped palms. He moved a great heap of earth quickly, pulling up the roots and the rocks which too lay beneath the surface. Not gold, but many grey teeth of the world, each rock precious in their own way, housing millions of moments in time. But he cast them all aside until the hole was big enough for what he needed.

Standing, he brushed the sand from his knees and clapped the excess dirt from his hands. All around him was quiet, the birds that had been their previously displaced and flown from his noisy digging. Just the bugs and shade, the sound of the ocean waves all around, swirling him in a sandy snow globe. He took a moment to gather himself, closing his eyes and speaking in his mind to what he needed.

With his eyes closed he bent forward, retching profusely. Dry and vacant at first, only bits of phlegm finding the ground before him. Then it came, quick and oozing. A black oily treacle poured out from his mouth, globbing down into the sandy hole. A little grey smoke escaped too, lifting off into the nothing as he heaved and coughed, some sticking in his throat. He punched his stomach, smacked his chest and stamped his feet. His heart he squeezed with ghostly hands, evacuating the rotten from within. All of it. He knew how much dwelt inside, and he knew too where it hid.

With a few final retches and coughs he was done. The black oily tar had moulded like molasses in the dug-out hole, balling up like a horrible black marble. The sun caught the ball in a splinter of light, and he thought for a moment he could see a huge eye gleaming at him. He quickly went across and began to kick sand and soil back into the hole, finally back on his knees pushing mounds of it with his hands until it was all covered. He patted it with his feet, careful not to stand too long over it, as if fearing an oily hand might charge up and pull him down. He said something only he and the trees would ever hear, and left the centre of the island quickly, finding his shoes from the rock and charging out into the sea back towards the beach.

He never returned to the small island, or even the larger one which boasted a number of pleasant resorts and attractions. He never saw the Coconut cave or the Belline Waterfall that the island boasts to all the tourists who flood its small little jewel of land in the tropical seas. He would’ve liked to of course, but he knew he could not come back. He could not be so near to something he wanted rid of.

Despite never returning himself, a few people have ventured out to the tiny little island where he dug and buried what he needed to. They came and went with little to report aside the remoteness of the little island, strung out like a pearl at the end of a silver chain. They assumed the purpled plant that grew where he’d buried was a native species to the island, the huge purple flowers crude but intricate, as they stretch upwards for the light. But the truth was no one had ever seen a plant like this before, though many are waiting to grow still; out of the darkness.

Need to come back (Story reading)


The water rippled towards him, a small wave plunging forth in its final effort onto the beach. It coated his feet in a warm embrace. He watched as the water receded hastily, as if it had disturbed him yet eager to do it once more. The ocean inhaled, drawing back again as the great expanse seemed caught between the beach and the horizon.

Somewhere in his mind a clock ticked, indifferent to the relaxing flow and rhythm of the tide…..

Read on


 

Halfway from home

Jasmine, and if he closed his eyes, the sound of the ocean. The smell though was always the strongest, it was what always clung to him. The ghost that gently haunted, touching his heart. It came and went, sometimes intense, taking him to that place where he always felt safe. Always felt them there.

He looked out of the window at the planet below, the strange orb spinning silently in its indifference to him. The purple hues lifted off the surface as if into a dream, blurring and smudging with the swallowing blackness of space.

Jasmine and warm sand.

He stole himself a moment to close his eyes, feeling the history shiver through him. An irritant beeping began in his ear, and his eyes opened to see the planet once more, slipping slowly from view as a stream of white slithered across the windows. He stepped back, releasing the metal banister from his grasp and turned to the yawning corridor behind him. There were a few people making their way along it, eyes glowing from the screens that ensnared them. Detached from the beauty that space could offer them.

Why should they be so dazzled by its brilliance? Space was taking something away from them. Distance and time.

He had come to terms with his own arrangement, but for the others, he guessed it was difficult still. He walked away from the huge windows, away from the calling of the beyond and made his way back to where he would spend most of his time. Alone, which is what he knew.

In his own little pod, his room of sorts on this floating chrysalis. Many of the travellers would enter one way and leave another. Changed by either their own trauma, or the perils of interstellar travel. He would not of course, he had already changed enough. If anything, he would retrograde, like Saturn returning, back into the pupa of his early days where things were so different.

Alone in his room, he turned off the lights, casting the space in the neon blue phosphorus glow. It was known to aid sleep in these conditions, but he would not be sleeping. How could he? His insomnia was welcomed back the moment he stepped aboard. Nights and days meant nothing up here anyway, so his patterns of rest blended and ebbed away. The blue now though comforted him, like an incubator heat lamp hung over an egg. The yoke of his mind turned, tumbling over the memories of a world he knew was forever lost.

“2.377.8”

The soft voice whispered into the room.

He turned over, the blue phosphorus blinking slightly like a heartbeat.

“Keter.” He replied to the nothing, and the room hung there in silence for a moment.

“Understood.” The soft voice replied, disappearing away like a ghost.

He had become used to these intrusions. They were passengers of course, guests even. Many had exchanged their savings just for their souls to be classed as passengers on this voyage through the stars. These numbers, all the time, numbers. Tracking, and recalibrating. Confirming and informing. Many that he spoke to set their times around these indications of location, celestial longitude. As if the mapping meant something to someone.

Only people meant something to someone else.

The number usually meant the distance, or the time left to arrival. For him, they meant something different. Like the length of rope thrown for safety, slowly falling away. The further he got, the closer he was. The journey beginning at the end, like the thoughts in his head. Chasing his own tail. The room scanned his body, noticing some change in the space. He’d found his was extra sensitive, monitoring his pulse and liquid extraction to the smallest degree. He’d stopped crying long ago, setting off too many checks and queries, the systems unsure of what purpose the leaking ever did.

He wasn’t travelling alone, but everyone thought he was. He sometimes forgot he wasn’t here by himself, but then he was washed in guilt. They were here in both places. In his heart, and in the cargo bay that was probably above his head now, the rotating section of the ship which spun around like a carousel. Their body was secure, he’d been assured. Packed next to boxes of memories and other people’s goods. Machines and provisions for a new life for the others. Well taken care of. He’s welcome to come by any time to check, though he is yet to do so and not likely to ever.

What was in the body really? The soul had left long ago. Even on Damara, the soul had slipped out through the atmosphere, heading back to earth. Back to their real home, where their bones would want to lie. He’d have buried them there if he could, but their family wanted them back. It was the least he could give them, having taken so much from them in their departure.

They would want to say goodbye, not through a video call or hologram burial across the stars.

Earth is where they would come to rest, put into the family tomb and forgotten about in a few years. But he would not forget, for their ghost drowned them now. Breathing into him along with the blue. Always blue, blue, blue.

He closed his eyes, hating himself. Remembering what they had said before they had left, those years ago. That death would snatch them there, on that cold side of space. Yet they would go non the less, for he seemed to want it so badly. And in truth, he did. He’d wanted to get away, try something different. Get as far away from Earth as humanly possible. To build them a new home on a new planet, a place where they would live longer, be healthier and stay together.

Home, they’d said is wherever they were.

“2.5, R HH” The soft voice spoke again, harder this time.

Halfway.

Halfway on their journey, from where they’d left, to where they were going.

He closed his eyes, and though no sleep came, fantasies and dreams washed through his head like a pageant. Illuminating visions that meant nothing and everything to him, silencing him for some time.

He saw a shell, a purple scallop shell before him on its side. All around a mist floated, he could see the water inside, sloshing back and forth as if the little shell were a boat out on rough waves. It began to lift slowly, coming towards him. The water began to ooze and leak away from the middle. Draining out and away into nothing. The shell continued to rise until its profile faced his eyeline. And with a deafening thunderclap, the shell cracked down the middle and he opened his eyes.

Making his way along the corridor, he touched the sides to feel the glass. Just beyond lay space, hidden from him by the greyed colours of the walls. But he knew it was there of course. Many didn’t, they forgot where they were, either by their screen diving or the long bouts of hibernation. It was easy he supposed, to forget you were where you were. Flight, travel. It disrupts violently the ordinariness of life, but in a surreal detached way, it can also be forgotten. Like you were in a waking dream, and things were going on without you.

He turned at the end of the corridor and climbed upwards, through a stairwell which led to the cargo bay area. He didn’t bother to ask anyone or sign in as he was told to do. Instead, he snuck through the huge doors as quiet as he could and was successfully undetected by anyone. He’d been tracked of course, eyes always on them, but nothing had come of it he’d noticed.

Moving steadily, he made his way to section 5t, the ‘living containments’ section. Ironic he’d thought, seeing as everything here was frozen, sleeping, or dead. He could see a red light blinking on the box some distance away, and he hurried forward at the sight of it. Error messages flashed across the box, symbols and numbers which meant nothing to him. He saw the number 16 flash by, and his mind was reminded by their birthday, cakes and smiles, images of kissing and the scent memory of blown out candles attacked him at once. He saw it then, a little pool of water just beneath the box.

“Fuck.” He said aloud to no one.

He scanned his wrist across the glass by the numbers, and the red light stopped flashing, but remained red. He pressed a button at the side and with an artificial exhale, little jets of air hissed the lid open. Whatever the error, or malfunction, the body inside had thawed. The crystal struts that kept the body in position glistened as the liquid inside sloshed around them. The head faced him, but the eyes were closed. He was thankful of that. He didn’t want to see their brown eyes. He would always remember them speckled with golden light, and he knew now the light would be gone.

What to do, what to do.

He stood there, not knowing for some time. The pool of water had spread a little towards his feet, but since the box had been opened, it seemed to have stopped leaking. The display on the side slowly climbing little bars up to a 100% destination. Aiming for perfection.

They looked peaceful at least, they looked like they were unaware of anything around them, even him. And of course, they were. Dead, gone, already back on earth. This body, these bones cared not for the journey they were on now. He reached out then, touching their hair which was wet and trailed slightly in the pooled water around them, floating like leaves in a pond.

The water was warm, and as his feet plunged into the box it rose above his socks and kissed his skin. He plunged down on top, his arms reaching around, through the crystal struts and finding the fleshy body and bones behind at the bottom. He hugged, and squeezed them, his eyes filling both with the water and the tears. He knew they were gone, but he had to hold them. He had to be here now with them, encased in a water filled box shooting through space.

“2.51.” The voice overhead announced, this time echoing in the vast space of the cargo bay.

He closed his eyes, jasmine filling his mind. He was no longer halfway. He wasn’t even before. He was only lost and alone. This he knew was how it would remain. So, he stayed and cried until sleep finally snatched him away, his body drained of energy from all the weeping. The voice overhead continued to call out many more marker points, little dots that now tracked his fall into nothingness.


Into the night

It was cold, the floor was always cold. Bare foot or with socks. The coldness seemed to spread with each step, like walking on ice. But it didn’t matter so much tonight.

He flung the duvet back and they woke with a start, their eyes suddenly ablaze.

“Is it time?” they asked, sitting up and pushing back into the deep plush pillows.

“It is, let’s go.” He spoke, calmly but with an urgency.

They swivelled in the bed, pushing their legs out and jumping into the situation. He watched them, agile and prepared, they’d practised this of course. How many times, twenty, thirty? Not enough, he knew that. Time was the essence here.

The darkness leaked inside the room like a can of oil, the little light he carried seemed to dismal in the overwhelm, but it did its job, and he shone the light now in their direction as they pulled on their shoes.

No time to change, just the shoes; they would be running of course.

“Ready, let’s go. Do you have…?” But they had spotted the box on the side near to him.

“Got it.” He said, and he picked the box up now and they both raced out of the bedroom.

He noticed the clock on the landing as they ran down the stairs, in the gloom he could still make out the hands of the grandfather clock ticking regimentally around and around. The clock had survived so much, seen so much. Been restored after many years hidden away from the Nazis, the greedy family members and the corrosion of time itself. Now it stood in full glory on the landing in their house, signalling the time for all who dwelt inside. Now it confessed the time to be two thirty in the morning. Time to move.

They raced down the stairs and towards the back of the house, crashing through the door quickly, not minding it was unlocked. They never did lock the doors; the danger did not lie there. They knew where horror lived.

In their bed clothes they raced, out into the air which was cold on their skin. No moon tonight, or if there were it was hidden behind the huge puffs of clouds that blanketed the sky. It made the night heavy, and they could feel it press upon them as they found themselves into the trees that began the woods at the rear of their house. No neighbours, they were too far away from them. The nearest house was three miles towards Grankvort, and that was in good weather. They made it this way, they needed the space and the separation from others.

The pine trees were close together, and sharp. They felt the needles as they sped through, though thankful for the running shoes which kept the rocks and fallen needles at bay. The little light he carried clung on to life in the face of the breath of the world which threatened to extinguish it.

“Wait!” they said, holding up their hand and pulling him to a stop.

He heard it then too, the sound of music off in the distance.

“There shouldn’t be anyone around, I don’t think it will work with others near.” They said.

He looked around himself, trying to locate the source of the sound in the claustrophobic woods.  He saw it then, a tiny glow moving through the trees, like a little firefly.

“There!” he said, and they turned to look also.

“Damn.” They replied, hurrying off without warning towards the light. He moved on quickly too, following them.

“What can we do?” He asked, catching himself on the trees.

“They will have to join us, there’s no time.” They said, seeming to glide through the thicket effortlessly.

As they got closer, they could hear the sound clearer now, the sound of orchestral music drifting outwards, hauntingly. Then he spotted the woman. She was tall, almost as tall as he, with a hood covering her head. He could see her hair tumbling out of the dark hood, like spilt gold leaking from a black lake. She was moving slowly, as if unsure of which way to go herself when they both suddenly burst out into her path, and she turned with surprise.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, but not out of fear. Almost as if she expected someone, but not so suddenly.

“What are you doing?” They asked her suddenly, he held the light up to her face and she drew back her hood in politeness.

“I’m sorry, is this your land?” She returned back.

“What are you doing here?” they asked again, ignoring her own question. The woman paused before answering which agitated them.

“Well!?” They asked, turning to him. “There’s no time for this.”

“I’m just passing through, please I don’t mean any harm.” The woman replied with a smile.

“It doesn’t matter, come along; you’re involved now.” And with that, they took her hand and pulled her off into the trees, running once more.

“Wait, what is going on….” The woman cried but was pulled on through, with the branches smacking her as they sped.

He followed on, trying to keep up. He should be leading he knew, having the light in hand; but they sped on at such a speed he had to double his efforts to stay with them.

They burst forth suddenly out of the trees, and he knew they had made it, and quickly too despite the stop with the woman. She now was hunched over, trying to catch her breath.

They stood by the edge of a ravine; the darkness below threatened an unknown demise, but he knew it was not that deep. He had climbed it of course, they had checked out all the areas near to them, and he knew the floor of the ravine was spongy and mossy. The rocks around them jutted upwards, like grey teeth, and he went across to one now and placed the box on top.

“How long?” they asked him, he looked at his watch. They had two minutes left.

“Two.” He said, and they smiled back. He could see the light above them now, streaming down like a dull torch from the sky.

“Wonderful, even though we’ve got a passenger.” They both looked at the woman now who stared back. She was neither scared nor angry at them, she merely stood there like a statue waiting for something to happen.

“Do you know what this is?” they asked the woman, pointing to the box on the rock.

She peered over, looking at the box which now began to hiss and glow with a dull light, its own reaching upwards.

“I’m not sure this is the right thing to do you know.” She said, almost with a knowing.

He stared at her, confused. The box had begun to come to life now, opening outwards and emitting a smoke. The dull lights danced and intermittingly blinked.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

They came over to him, putting their hand on his.

“Ignore her, we’ve prepared for this. If they have to come, it is better than being killed. We’re not going to murder anyone for this. We decided that.” They said, almost whispering.

“It won’t work how you expect it to.” The woman suddenly said, pulling up her hood as the smoke spread out around them, reaching upwards like little hands.

“Wait, wait….” He began but with a sudden flash of light his words were cut out. The box inverted on itself, pulling them in like a black hole. He watched as the woman remained standing, anchored to the spot as the two of them disappeared into the space created now in the place where the box was.

He felt it then, the pinching and the scraping. Slashes on his back and head became more and more apparent. He saw them and he held out his hand to them, they took them, and he could see the same red marks appearing. He tried to speak but the words were taken away by an invisible hand.

And suddenly it stopped, and all was quiet.

The woman coughed, dispersing the smoke in front of her with her hands. She pulled her hood back and stepped forward towards the box. It shuddered slightly on the rock, the lights inside finally dying to nothing and the beam above disappearing up into the dark clouds.

She picked the box up, whispering to it.

“I will keep you safe, but I told you it wouldn’t work.” She said, and she turned from the rocks and began her way back into the woods. Before long, the orchestral music softly began to lift up and out into the trees, as her little light flickered into life. A tiny glow through the dark wood which floated along with the music, like a small eye in a black sea of space.


Heaven is shut/open

The plane took off, soaring into the sky as the sun died on the horizon. All was safe, all parts working. Wheels stored safely as the streaming sound of pressure encased them. He looked out of the window and watched the ground give way. He sighed. He’d hoped for a failure. Maybe later when they were out over the ocean, no chance of rescue there. No one ever survived a plane crashing into the sea.

Closing his eyes, he saw their face. Lost and troubled as the chaos of the street bustled by. The taxi had hurried them, throwing his bags into the boot hastily before cars honked behind. They’d said their goodbyes already upstairs. Held on to each other as the tears threatened. At least he’d held on. He was unsure now how hard they had pulled into them. Deep inside his brain a voice had whispered ‘they want you to leave’.

Opening his eyes, he saw the seatbelt sign switch off, the little ‘bing’ sounding all around him but nowhere particular. The plane levelled off and he saw the land corrode into the ocean. The lights from the city behind already blurring into a distant memory. People got up, walking up the gangway as if their restrictiveness demanded a rebellion in movement.

He turned again to face the window, the little tears of condensation streaking backward like the ones in his eyes.

The flight was uneventful, and despite his longing, did not crash into a blazing wreck into the sea. He was somewhat thankful, no need for others to descend into nothingness because of his own wants and needs. The country had changed now of course, and he felt like a stranger in his own land. He felt as if he’d outgrown that little island, when in truth, it had all shrunken into ambivalence.

The next few weeks were a haze to him. He slept longer than his body needed. He ate less than what was required. The maddening howls of loneliness engulfed, playing out a wicked pageant each night. Pagan dances of despair trooped through his mind as he imagined the worst. And the weeks fell away into months. The sun rose and died each day, giving way to the moon which seemed more allusive and tauntful. Appearing and disappearing with differing brilliances.

And nothing changed.

No word came. No celestial movement of fate. He prayed of course, every day. Wishing, hoping, threatening…apologising. Words tumbled from his mouth like a waterfall, lost in the roar of tears that welcomed the rising pool of pain. He was confused and sad. These descriptions falling short of the abject horror that they encompassed.

He got up late one Wednesday. His bed had become a grave, and he pushed away the covers like soil from his skin. The weather was grey, and he saw little movement outside his window. He could hear the birds whistling their busy tunes and saw a couple of collared doves pecking away at the grassy bank at the side of his house. The birds circled, one seeming to protect the other as it scoured the grasses for something.

This was his life he thought there in that moment. The tragedy of nothingness. The on repeatness of filling hours that stretched like days.

Sitting down on his bed, he joined his hands together. They had marks on now of course, bloodied scabs that were struggling to heal. Punches to the ground and walls in frustration. His hands stung when he washed them always, bits of skin pealing off and disappearing down the drain to their own hellish adventures. Mostly he would pray in his head, but this morning the words came forth strong, if not shaky. He prayed for others, for those he loved. He asked why his circumstance refused to alter. He prayed to be sent the needs to change his situation. If god was refusing to give him what he needed, then at least give him the chance to change it for himself. He saw the light, felt the feel of god’s hands upon him and trickle into his heart.

This prayer lasted a long time. The doves had flown away by the time he had opened his eyes again, and a light rain had begun to pepper his window. The house groaned around in its ordinariness. Things were quiet. Things were the same.

He went about the day, holding onto something which he would never tell anyone. Like something stolen and now hidden in his pocket, he buried this secret in his heart which struggled to beat in a comfortable rhythm. The day came and went. The tasks and encounters rose and fell with the usual absurdity.

It wasn’t until the following night when what he had tucked away bloomed again. A flower of thought that had grown from the thick mud of despair. He had played the game of this life, by the rules he never agreed to. He was of service each day, giving and giving; yet never receiving. It never used to bother him for he had much to give. But when you lose everything, you become stricter on what you give away.

Now he felt like the coconut husks in his garden, pecked at each day by the birds of life. Strips of him torn away, revealing nothing underneath. His prayers had gone unanswered. But he stopped that thought then. No, this was not true. His prayers had been answered, when he prayed for others. When he gave and prayed and wanted the best for other people. They got what they needed. Even the rotten ones he was obliged to love. As if blood bound them in an unspoken covenant.

Prayer works. But not for him.

When he wanted…no, needed something. It never came to him. It was as if the gates of heaven had closed to him in a display of much unfairness. Why was he so beyond getting what he needed to make it through the day?

This thought stuck in his head, like food stuck in a throat. Uncomfortable and unpleasant. He was angry at God. But who wasn’t at times? But he felt more than anger, a betrayal almost. He fell asleep that night, not pooled in his own tears like always, but shaking into a fevered dream of reckoning.

He woke early, the rhythm of his heart thundering him awake. His phone was silent, barren. Nothing in the night had sprung forth despite the difference in hours. What were they, seven hours behind? They lived their day while he slept dreaming of them. They dreamt of something else while he navigated through the day thinking of nothing but them.

Rolling out of bed he went to the bathroom to wash his hands. Purifying his body, washing away the dreams and nightmares. He looked in the mirror…..

A: shut

What stared back at him made him weep. A man stood there, but a wasted vision of a human. Sunken eyes, gaunt expression. As if the sadness had spoiled from the inside, wasting away the flesh. He noticed one of his eyes was a milky colour, his once hazel views into his soul fading away into a grey of nothingness.

What to do now, he thought to himself. Brush his teeth, fix his hair. Get changed and through another day for what purpose? The same as yesterday, the same as tomorrow would be. A parade of nothing and inconsequence.

He knew he had fallen into a depression. He had hoped to shake it off or fall out of it again. Why was it so easy to get pulled in, and not the other way around? But something extra covered him today, that final magic element of hope seemed to have disappeared as he slept. A rousing song, or prayer usually helped. Taking stock and being appreciative. But no, something was different today. The same grey clouds outside, but something was different there in his bathroom. He could not even hear the birds that usually chattered and warbled beyond the walls.

He took a razor and made two clean cuts, long and deep. It was the kindest thing he could give himself, and the biggest apology.

B: open

What reflected was a surprise to him. A little light glistened in his eyes and more haloed above him. He turned suddenly, hoping to catch a trail of it around his skull. But it seemed to follow him, quick as a flash. He felt it then, a sudden strength lift within his bones like they were being pumped with magical force. He made to pray but remembered suddenly and abstractly that God should not be called upon in a bathroom. Negative spaces.

Running from the room he collapsed onto the landing, the banister casting a ray of light over him like prison bars. He watched as they seem to lift upwards, the sun disappearing behind a cloud. The bars faded, and he closed his eyes.

He pictured the world above in his mind, the ascent of this man who had become so troubled and desperate. Hands guided him; little voices pushed him further until he was at the gates of heaven. With one push, the gates parted. He opened his eyes there and bowed to give thanks. He let the words tumble out, washing appreciation over his life.

How long he remained, he’d not known. The bars of light did not return, but when he stood, he noticed the sun was hovering off in the distance now beyond his window. He wiped the tears away and stood in his new world, just as his phone in the other room began to ring.

21:09

Staring down the dark street, he watched as the lampposts flickered in and out of light. Luminous reflection seeming to be running off an invisible heartbeat. Stuttering. Struggling.

He felt the same. He was tired. He’d run the last two miles and his calf muscles now ached. He’d stopped momentarily to ease the stitch that was spreading in his side. Stabbing needles from Satan’s fingertips.

Nearly there.

He saw the traffic had built up on Bower Street, he’d actually heard the car horns and the angry shouts before he saw the rows of taillights snaking away. A great stationary monster of red eyes going nowhere.

Turning left he hurried away from the angry voices and quickly checked the time. 20.45. It had taken longer than he’d expected. The transport had imploded on itself and the city was heaving in unpreparedness that night. He felt the sweat on his forehead, the stingy sizzle of desperation and determination. A light rain now flecked onto his skin as he passed by houses. The glow of life inside reminded him what he was doing this for. The eyes of the buildings glowed with little tears from the rain, happy that people were inside. All together for the first time in years.

He sprinted, tripped and surged on. Finally getting to the door five minutes later. Too little, too late?

Better late than never he supposed, rapping frantically on the door.

The door swung open hastily. The smell of candles and coffee greeted him along with the flood of a welcoming light and a relieved smile.

“Thank god.” They said to him, as he collapsed into their arms.

Tears, sweat and rain ran unabashed down his cheeks. His heart, which had threated to give up on him, pulsed to a different beat. The feeling he got whenever he saw them. The tingly skin sensation that tickled around his ears and neck. He smelled them, hugged them. Taking these new feelings deep within himself.

“I can’t believe it.” They said as they broke apart and he stepped inside.

The small house threw its arms around him, beckoning a safety.

“It’s pandemonium out there”. He replied, stepping further in and following them up the stairs. He glanced quickly at the front room; the warming sweet-smelling candles flickered within while the television screamed out silently with the volume down. The news informing no-one to things that everyone already knew.

“I’m glad you made it; I was getting worried it would be too late.” They said, settling down onto the bed. He took in the vision, the moment and tried to keep himself together.

He followed, not bothering to take off his shoes but throwing off the jacket which the light rain had clung to.

The clock on the side clicked over to 9pm.

They drew into one another, kissing tenderly. Touching each other’s hands and diving deep into one another’s eyes. Tears swelled, wiped away by fingers that trembled with tenderness in the glowing room.

“I had to be here. I had to come.” He said. Knowing that they already knew.

“I didn’t expect it to be like this. I’m just glad you’re by my side.” Their voice stuttered. “I love you.” they said, as they closed their eyes. Not out of shame, but to a sad realisation it would be the last time.

“I love you.” He replied. “And I will find you again.”

They held each other closer as the lights died.

21:09, the time the world ended.


Taken from Dislocated: A Short story collection – Out now