At 22,798 words, this story is officially the longest one-shot I have ever written. (The Way I Was Made is 21,975 and Semper Fidelis Familia is 22,496), which is kind of mind-boggling for me since I remember when I thought a long story was more than five pages long.

For those of you who are wary of Merlin or Entourage or a bit of RPF/S, I can only say that I hope you'll give it a shot anyway. I don't think you'll be disappointed; well, at least I'm not.

Merlin featuring Entourage and some RPS
Merlin Emrys/Arthur Pendragon
NC-17 / 18
Alternate Universe
Word Count: 22,798

The Kingdom of the Blaggers


( Arthur Pendragon was destined to be a movie star.Collapse )

hackthis: [rage blackout]
antheia: You know what you need?
hackthis: To call up my ninja bretheren, so I can choke a bitch?
antheia: Write Ari and Rahm.
hackthis: .... Ohhhhhhhh.

Entourage/ Political RPF <--- Look! An 'F' not an 'S'!
Ari Gold, Rahm Emanuel
Rated R for offensive language. Like always.


Changing the World is a Family Business


( Fuck you, I know you've been eating Pelosi's pussy.Collapse )

a) I saw the trailer for HP and the Half-Blood Prince. I won't lie, it looks good. HBP is my favorite book because it actually talks about Slytherins for a change. Biased what?

b) Wyatt Cenac continues to infringe on my Jon and Stephen love. Make it rain!

c) Unless you've been under a rock recently, you know that Shia got busted for DUI. I had to write about it. Really. I was biologically compelled.


Entourage/Real People Fiction (Except for those bits that are true).
Ari Gold/Robert Downey Jr., George Clooney, Shia LaBeouf
Rated Ari for language.
For anywherebeyond and sparky77

Beautiful Disasters

(  Only stupid people go to war unprepared, like the President Collapse )

So. I saw Iron Man this weekend. I'm still pondering the magnificence that is Tony Stark and who he should gay-up, so we'll get to him eventually. This has been banging around for a while though, I thought it was time to free it.


Real Person Slash/Entourage
Ari Gold/Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, George Clooney and Shia LaBeouf
Rated PG-13


This One Time at Band Camp



( There are exes and then there are *exes*.Collapse )

Some people just don't know how to behave and then I have to do things like this.

RPS/RPS
Ari Gold/whiskey bottle, Lloyd, various press items

( Ari Gold's State of the Union AddressCollapse )

So, this has been percolating for a while. I'd thought it was going to be shorter, but I'm not in charge when I'm around these guys. Happy early birthday, ethrosdemon. Don't say I never gave you anything.

RPF/RPS/Entourage/CRACK!
You don't have to have read Make Sure They See My Face to understand this, but it probably helps.

hackthis Productions Present:

Something to Talk About

featuring George Clooney
Ari Gold
Don Cheadle
Ryan Gosling
Shia LaBeouf
and Anderson Cooper

With Matt Damon. And some other folks.


(  Being single is not a default state.Collapse )

RPF/RPS/Entourage/CRACK!

hackthis Productions Present:

Make Sure They See My Face (The Making of a Movie in Five Acts)

featuring Ari Gold
George Clooney
Shia LaBeouf
and Milo Ventimiglia

With Viggo Mortensen. And some other folks.


( Act I: AriCollapse )

You guys never believe me when I say if you ask for it, you just might get it. Especially when it comes down to The Crack. Some of you may have experienced The Crack before, some of you just might want to step back. Today, thecomfychair gets her wish. liketheroad and melodylemming this kind of fits what you want too. Kinda.

Entourage/RPS/Heroes/Burn Notice
Ari Gold, George Clooney, Nathan Petrelli, Angela Petrelli, Sam Axe, Claire Bennett, err, everybody and the kitchen sink. (Nathan/Peter)
Spoilers for Heroes 2.01

Wanted: One Fucking Miracle Worker


( They're not like other boys.Collapse )

I have been sitting on this for a week, patiently not shrieking at my beta, because she loves me and I am trying to practice my Zen. Enough of that. Let's rock out.

Fandom: Entourage
Spoilers: All seasons, up to and including the S3 Season Finale
Rating: Nothing you wouldn't get with an episode. Sorry.
Summary: So, it's going to be one of those days.
Notes: Art provided by the slodwick corporation. Beta by serialkarma. Entourage is the property of Doug Ellin and the scary folks at HBO. I did the soundtrack. Yes, Virgina, this is that story.


( As We Are, Or How Lloyd Saves the Day (Again) (I of II)Collapse )

Brandon Routh as Supes is hotass. The Scariest Man™ ever (Christian Bale) as Bats is sadly hotass too. When you put them together that's like overkill.

Entourage /RPS/F -- Ari FUCKING Gold. Brandon Routh. Lloyd. George Clooney. For issaro and serialkarma who provided the photo and for vylit because this isn't the Johnny Cash story I promised her, but all I've got.

No superheroes were harmed in the making of this fictitious story.


This One Time When I Was a Superhero


( It's really the photograph of Superman and Christian Bale that does it for Ari because a) it's really fucking gay, and b) George has been kind of miserable since Bradley and the Anti-Christ popped out the Golden Child and c) the only thing better than signing Brandon Routh would be signing Brandon Routh and hooking him up with George. – Entourage S3 spoilersCollapse )

I have a paper cut. I have to see the GP. However, I also have Bob Marley singing One Love and the latest edition of Men's Vogue (for the menswear, people). Also, I see that there's some sort of conspiracy to get me to write Oscar fic, but I'm just not that connected today. Here, have this.

Entourage/RPF Parody
George. Ari. Jake. Other people.


GEORGE CLOONEY'S DIARY


( 9:10am – Ari calls, again. Is panicked because eldest daughter, Sarah, is sick, and Mrs Ari has forbidden him from attending Oscars. Ari says she's not dying and Mrs Ari being unreasonable. Remind Ari am Sarah's godfather. He says then I should stay with her, and he'll go be George Clooney instead. Ha fucking haCollapse )

Entourage/Real People Fiction

An Amazon.com ™ exclusive


Building Steam from a Grain of Salt: The Story of Ari Gold


( Click here for excerpts from Ari Gold's autobiography 'Building Steam from a Grain of Salt', coming soon to a bookstore near you, except for Wal-Mart because those fuckers took exception to all the profanity contained within and wanted it edited. We told those cow-tippers to go suck a dick behind the Formosa Café like George Michael.Collapse )

My girl is not happy. This is for her, because Ari loves her, too.

Entourage/RPF/RPS – Ari Gold, George Clooney, the 78th Annual Oscars annoucements


Going to the Chapel (of Hollywood Love)

( Ari's dream has finally come to fruition. This is better than that time he woke up at the Honolulu Hilton and found himself in bed with Matt Damon and a half-empty case of Guinness. Obviously, that was before Mrs Ari, or Bradley, or Angelina. Rated R for Ari's mouth and it just being Ari.Collapse )

This is for literaryll, who very specifically asked for this storyline, and who I could not deny because she's provided me with like 30 mp3s in the last two weeks.

RPF - Ari Gold, George Clooney, Daniel Radcliffe (by name only) and lots of offensive and slanderous talking about everyone, including your mother. I'm sure reading The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors in Love and One Gay Landmark would help, but it's not required.


The Midas Touch


( Author's Note: According to Wikipedia says, '[Ari] has never met a racist or sexist comment he didn't like.' This is not a reason to celebrate him, but sometimes, you just can't fucking help yourself. Not that Ari has probably ever tried, but still. There's nothing *moderately* offensive about this -- it's just offensive, full stop. Also, apparently, BBM spoilers, but I read the story, so you know, I'm all huh?Collapse )

I have no idea how many pages this is, but I know it's been going on for a while now, prolly a month or two, and it would never have lasted this long without all of you, so you only have yourselves to blame. This is so hot off the Word doc that I burned my tongue, and forgive the mess, but my girl's going out of town so I had to get it up before she left.

All previous parts available here

RPF/RPS
Ensemble

The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors In Love, and One Gay Landmark 4/4


( Welcome to the end of the line, wherein Jake fights the Power, George meets The King, everyone gets high, Jake gays it up for the camera, and Ari has the next to last word. We thank for you doing business with The Gold Agency, leave your pride at the doorCollapse )

The people have spoken!

In honour of you lot, and my girl's book coming out tomorrow, I present:

RPS/RPF
Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ari Gold, Matt Damon & George Clooney, in…


The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors In Love, and One Gay Landmark 3/4


All prior parts start here

( Wherein we go antique shopping, discuss eating macrobiotically, bitch a lot, witness the George and Matt show, bitch some more, see nekkid bits, get the Ari experience, and get our first introduction to the next Mr Gyllenhaal. Try not to kill yourselves.Collapse )

10 Things We Love About Jake is the feature on People.com. Bwahahahahaha! Crack dealers, they are everywhere, kids. Just say yes!

Dedicated to my girl, ethrosdemon, who is having a shitty day, I break out the big guns. I would also like to thank everyone who played along with this game, because you totally inspired this section.

RPS/RPF
My Two Gay Uncles, Brad & George, and the ubiquitous Ari Gold

Prologue
Part 1
Part 2


The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors In Love, and One Gay Landmark (Interlude)

( This is the part where we spend lots of quality time with George, Brad and Ari, because let's face it, they're totally the stars of this cracked out series anyway. Jake is mentioned though. And there's dancing. And assault by posterboard. Never piss off an agentCollapse )