A flailure is you

Subject:	every so often
Time:	5:43 pm.

i get the bug to act again. i checked the colorado theatre guild website for auditions, and the e-project is doing my fair lady. not that i have much chance of getting eliza, regardless how talented i am, cos who's gonna cast an asian eliza?

i don't know how to get this out of my system. the big problem with acting is that i generally loathe theatre ppl. i mean, like i'd like to load them all into a cannon and fire them into a brick wall. it makes it very difficult to work with them. 95% of them are walking banners for low self-esteem, and i just don't tolerate that kind of nonsense. they're there because it's good for their ego, because they want to hear the crowd and the applause and the adulation. because they have nothing else in their pathetic, tiny, meaningless little lives to give them any worth.

i actually hate that sort of crap. i hated having to do the glad-handling, the schmoozing and talking with brain-stems who had no interest in what i actually had to say, but just liked to bask in the light of "theatre" bullshit. i hated the stupid bios we had to write. if you wanted to do shit like that, just publish my fucking resume. i think my last director kinda figured out my antipathy to the whole contrived ridiculousness of it all. he didn't like me.

i'm not cut out for theatre, personality-wise. i realised this a long time ago. so, why do i keep having these urges? it's like an addiction. bad thing, that is. stupid, really. i fear what i'd do if there were auditions for sunday in the park with george or once on this island...*sigh*

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Subject:	you must watch this
Time:	3:27 pm.

just for context, according to the BBC, 1 in 4 ukraines were killed during WWII.

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Subject:	facebook
Time:	8:36 pm.

well, i did it. i joined it.

i feel dirty.

i just find the whole thing rather distasteful, frankly. it's like holding my nose and jumping. however, if i do want to know what's going on with my friends, it's a rather necessary evil.

oh, and it does have a character limit. how can one really say anything worth saying with a character limit? granted, i am known for my verbosity, and i do like my compound sentences; however, they are necessary for one to accurately, and completely, express any thought more complex than, "OMG, LAWL".

i think i have an inherent distaste for anything related to "networking". reprehensible term, that. it just connotes brown-nosing, ass-kissing, and general fakery. and, the other problem is that there are ppl that will want to friend me, and will be offended if i don't friend them, like roger's mom, or his brother's fiance, and then i have to censor myself. it's a no-win situation. they'll be pissed if i don't friend them, and just as pissed when i say something offensive, like calling stephanie's kids spawnlings. better than crotch tribbles, at least.

roger keeps his LJ for his non-censored opinions, and uses facebook for merely connecting with people. but, i find that type of superficial "connection" to be just that, superficial, and i generally attempt to avoid such shallow, useless, unbeneficial interactions like that. it's a bit like small talk at social functions. i am sure it serves some function, of which i don't understand, but it's not a function for which i find useful. instead, it's filled with inane, contrived societal expectations, fraught with potential pitfalls and social suicide for anyone that says anything that is remotely controversial, or merely just interesting, and not within the acceptable script of such nonsensical small talk.

i am thinking that this facebook thing is not a good idea, on second thought. i think i shall give it 1 week. if it doesn't prove its usefulness, i'll delete the account.

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Subject:	japanese magazines
Time:	12:35 pm.

we're thinking of expanding our japanese magazine selection. we have a direct distributor who can get us any japanese magazine.

we're looking at adding kera and arena to our stock.

we're looking to add some manga. we specifically are looking for any ribon or nakayoshi type shojo manga, and must regularly carry furoku. does hana to yume, afternoon, lala DX usually have furoku?

possibly game magazines. think anyone would be interested in weekly famitsu?

lastly, need lauren's email addy. lauren, if you're looking, plz email me, or someone email me her email addy, if you have it.

thanks!

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Subject:	HP:HBP
Time:	11:52 am.

we're planning on hitting the greenwood village theatre that's off arapahoe and I25 for the 9:50 movie friday nite after code "b" and dinner at el teq.

anyone that wants to come is more than welcome.

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Subject:	c'mon people
Time:	10:33 am.

i can't believe how little any american is talking about what's going on in iran.

once every couple days i'll check roger's facebook, and there's nada, zip, zero about iran.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????

history is happening _now_. and, all people can fucking talk about is fucking american idol, tiger woods and sarah-i'm-a-fucking-whore palin?

for those that ARE interested in more than retarded fucking reality TV and bullshit, worthless gossip crap, stebe set up a great twitter feed: tinyurl.com/nl6mgz

i take back whatever negative things i've ever said about twitter. as has been commonly said, the revolution will not be televised, but rather tweeted.

i need to move to a math.

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Subject:	BEST WEBSITE EVAH
Time:	1:40 pm.

http://whopooped.org/

thanks to the rachel maddow show =)

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Subject:	so, here's a funny
Time:	10:02 am.

found out that we have the 3rd off.

told stebe about it this morning over IRC and said, "it is a pleasant surprise."

however, i almost typed about "present surprise".

dunno if that was a freudian typo, or my asian showing.

YOU BE THE JUDGE!

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Subject:	of facebook and twitter
Time:	10:44 am.

so, i looked at facebook the first time a couple weeks ago, and i was immediately taken aback by it. i had a rather frank and visceral reaction to it. the signal to noise ratio on there, even compared to LJ is deafening. and, in rather amorphorous terms, i found it offensive, for the lack of better wording, though i couldn't articulate clearly, why.

i looked at it again the other nite, and it came clear to me why i didn't like it so much: it doesn't convey any real content. it's nothing but sound-bites, but no real information. simply put: unless it's logistical planning, i can't think of anything that i would like to speak about that can be communicated in such short, limited bursts. the subjects i want to communicate about are not simplistic, nor easily reducible into simple sound-bites. it's the equivalent to cable news channels' news tickers, which i detest.

i think it's a rather apt analogy to most ppl's socialising and interpersonal relationships. signal to noise by orders of magnitude, without ever really saying anything of substance; fleeting moments of non-contact, and superficial emotional bullshit. i have no illusions that ppl might think my minute-to-minute activities are interesting. _i_ don't think they are, so why should someone else? and, if i have something for which i would like communicate about, it will not be less than 240 characters in length, for the concepts are usually slightly more complex than, "OMG HAWT GUY!!!"

neal stephenson wrote _anathem_ as a bit of a push-back to what he calls the "google" generation. i think blogging is my push-back to instant sound-bite frivolousness of facebook and twitter.

(btw, _anathem_ is an utterly awsum book. everyone who's got a brain should read it.)

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Subject:	CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS?
Time:	3:17 pm.

we're thinking june 20th for our trip up to amu's.

thinking of getting a limo so everyone can partake in amu's delights.

then, we get back to the store and sober up.

RB's iron maiden pack drops 2 weeks before. we can go back and play some MAIDEN while sobering up.

sound like a plan?

Can I play with madness
The prophet stared at his crystal ball
Can I play with madness
Theres no vision there at all
Can I play with madness
The prophet looked and he laughed at me
Can I play with madness
He said youre blind too blind to see

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Subject:	cos it's trendy
Time:	11:25 am.

i have no problem with this.

klingons are cool. and they can kick your ass.

Your results:
You are Worf

Worf		80%
Will Riker		65%
Mr. Scott		55%
Geordi LaForge		55%
Spock		52%
Jean-Luc Picard		50%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		45%
Data		40%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		35%
Chekov		35%
Uhura		35%
Mr. Sulu		35%
Deanna Troi		35%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		25%
Beverly Crusher		20%

You are trained in the art of combat
and are usually intimidating.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

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Subject:	pwned!
Time:	4:54 pm.

15:39 i am beginning to see that normal ppl do not use logic when they
debate
15:43 this is the incorrect conclusion
15:44 the correct conclusion is "i am beginning to realize that
arguing in a non-academic situation results in the antithesis
of resolution or progress."

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Subject:	observation
Time:	2:26 pm.

i hadn't realised how fat i'd gotten until i started working out and losing some fat.

i'm hoping for losing 1 lb a month. it sounds puny and underacheiving, but i have a theory that if you lose weight too fast, your body freaks out, and gains it all back, hence the yo-yo weight gain/loss.

i haven't gotten on a scale, but i know i've lost fat, since i'm wearing clothes i haven't been able to wear in a year. go me!

btw, mountain man trail drive has no added salt or sugar. and lots of walnuts!

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Subject:	of popularity and bullshit
Time:	4:43 pm.

after a rather crappy starfest, i asked roger about why we're not the "cool" kids. it certainly can't be because of him, cos he's likable, and everyone generally gets along with them.

it must be me. and as he put it, we're a package deal.

here's the deal. i never wanted to be popular. i have no interest in it, because it involves ass-kissing, holding your tongue, being a follower, and generally a spineless, annoying sychophant. not my cup of tea.

i'm a misanthropic, curmudgeonly, intellectual-elitest, know-it-all bitch. and, i'd rather be alone for all the right reasons, than be popular for all the wrong ones (thank you "some kind of wonderful"! see, 80's movies do teach you something.). i will not apologise for being smarter than you. i will not apologise for being more talented. nor will i hide who i am because it makes you uncomfortable. i will not fail because you cannot win.

however, we are _not_ a package deal. this isn't the fucking middle ages, nor is it fucking highschool. roger and i are complete, separate beings. just because you don't like _me_, which frankly i'm fine with, and you prolly have good reason, doesn't mean you should dislike _roger_, for fuck's sake. grow the fuck up.

[EDIT] oh wait, i should add cranky to that list. i'm really fucking cranky. especially right now.

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Subject:	WE'RE GOING TO ACEN@$r#@%$$#@%%$&^%**^
Time:	2:11 pm.

WAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Subject:	i do not understand
Time:	4:54 pm.

how atheists can still believe in absolute morality.

it's not logical. how can you reject all supernatural, metaphysical, holistic ideas, yet believe in "this is RIGHT"? it makes no sense. where does an absolute morality come from? who decides what is absolutely right or wrong? from whom/whence does absolute morality get its power?

if you've rejected all metaphysics, holism, the supernatural and god(s), then you must reject absolute morality. otherwise, the cognitive dissonance becomes deafening.

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Subject:	ahh, jeff...
Time:	4:49 pm.

Jeff quotes

"She's leaving the country...she doesn't speak English...I insulted her friend's breasts...and she thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket"

"I need breasts with brains. I don't mean individual brains, obviously... I mean, not a brain each. You know, I like intelligent women, but you've got to draw the line somewhere... I think breast brains would be over-egging the woman pudding."

"I love the word naked, it's brilliant isn't it, 'naked'. When I was a kid I used to write the word naked on a bit of paper hundreds of times and rub my face in it."

"Steve's whole fantasy life revolves around Mariella Frostrup%u2026 If ever meets Mariella Frostrup in person his right hand will shout 'mother'."

"All of us in our time are visited by the Melty Man... Don't say his name, Patrick. Don't even think his name, or he will rise from the shadow dimensions to do his evil work inside your terrified pants."

"I am a prison for sperms. Those poor little tadpoles have been sentenced for life in Jeff Murdock's groin. And let me tell you, that can be a pretty lonely place."

"Having a girlfriend is like legalised sex."

"Women remember, Steve. It's like they've got minds of their own."

"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"

"I get very tense around apples... Well, I get very tense generally. I think I've fallen into the trap of blaming fruit."

"Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina...we're just happy if you're naked...half naked...one breast"

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Subject:	oh. my. god.
Time:	3:13 pm.

http://rsiasoco.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/maddow-republicans-are-teabagging-and-want-you-to-teabag-too/

ummm...for more edification on teabagging, see: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabagging

awsum.

[EDIT] to the comment that was deleted:

1) teabagging, or tea bagging is not a recognised word or term in the english language. there is no gerund for bagging with tea. go to merriam webster and look it up.

2) the only usage for the term "teabagging" is the one that you will find if you put the word into google, replete with visual aids in case you weren't clear on the definition.

so, there is only _one_ usage, for which the lovely think-tanks of the GOP, once again, forgot to check in "the google" machine. it's like attempting to use the word "felch" as something other than sucking cum out of an anus. sure, it could sound like a gardening term, but it's not. hence, the funny.

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Subject:	this might explain why
Time:	11:40 am.

roger and i have never become obese: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/08/AR2009040804290.html?hpid=topnews

actually, i could stand to lose about 20 lbs. i'm working on it!

on that note, they've got the AC on in my building, and i'm shivering as we speak, sitting on my hands just to keep them warm. i love chattering teeth!

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