Still depressed and fucked up. Started working again a couple of hours. Doing laundry instead of working at the bar.
January was shit. Absolute shit. I had a deep depression and was ono sick leave for 6 weeks. I would have liked longer.
But I think I started my crochet fall sweater back in January. I liked that project though it's still not finished. But it gave me some joy in a dark time.
Oh, and 2025 started with me getting my period and our fridge breaking down on New Year's Eve. So...
First I want to apologize for possible spelling mistakes. I'm sure there will be a few. (BTW, where's the spelling check LJ had?)
On Wednesday I went to Lush and bought new shampoo, a conditioner bar and got a sample of Softy, a foot lotion with lavender. Later that day I made some anti cellulite coffee scrub bars and couldn't wait for my next shower. ^^ The coffee scrub bars aren't perfect yet. They need more butter. Or maybe it was just because I used coconut oil instead of cocoa butter.
I found an online shop with essential oils, herbs and all the stuff you need for homemade cosmetics. And they were so cheap! I couldn't resist and ordered cocoa butter, shea butter, bees wax and three bottles of essential oils to make some anti migraine sticks. They're supposed to also help with allergies, so I will send Sinta a few of them, too.
On Thursday I had a day off and met Yvonne in town. We had dinner and then one of us said we could go to a bridal wear shop since I wanted to wear a wedding dress just once. I repeat: We went just to have a look. I was prepared for finding a dress I'd really love but couldn't afford, so I'd leave the shop heartbroken. I wasn't prepared for what happened then.
The first dress I tried was okay, but I didn't like it at all. As I said, I didn't even want to buy a dress at all. But the second dress I tried on... Yvonne burst out in tears when I left the changing room. ^^ (And so did my mom when she saw a picture of me in it.) The shop assistant said this dress was reduced from almost 2000€ to 300€. That's when Yvonne decided to buy it. We were both overwhelmed. Though I always dreamed of it I never thought I'd actually wear a wedding dress on my wedding. As far as I know I'm the first one in my family to have one.
( Click to see the dress.Collapse )
After that we needed alcohol. So we went to Sausalitos and had a few drinks. I had two cocktails and Yvonne one cocktail and two vodka shots. We were a little bit drunk when we went home. I was so excited I felt sick.
I went to Tom and later his new roomie Hendrik joined us. Hendrik moved in this week and is very handsome. And he has such a cute smile. ^^ They men drank a lot of beer while I was fighting headaches and getting more and more tired as time went by.
It must have been around 2:30am when I noticed I didn't feel very well. I thought it was just anxiety stuff, I'm used to that. But no, it wasn't just anxiety. So I grabbed a bucket as fast as I could and placed myself on the floor. I was about to have a fit.
For all you new people here, I've had these fits every 1 or 2 years for about 12 or 13 years now. Everytime it's a little bit different, but mostly it's loosing concsiousness and puking. Sometimes it's so bad I'd rather die than go through this.
( Cut for some gross details.Collapse )
After I was done I fell asleep pretty quickly. guess i must have scared the shit out of Tom and Hendrik.
The next day i was supposed to have late shift. I would have been able to go, but I'd rather not. The day after a fit I don't feel very well. I stayed in bed most of the time and watched documentaries. I learned that Hitler had a love for Mickey Mouse movies. Who knew?
I got up sometime in the afternoon, went food shopping and returned home. Tom came by later and helped me cleaning my room. He did all the dishes (thanks God) and I did the laundry. It took a while, but I'm very glad it is done. The rest of my room is easy and quick to clean.
Yesterday i also called my mom for it was her 49th birthday. I also tried to call Benni, but he didn't have time.
He called today and we had a few minutes before Tom came over. I can't talk on the phone as long as someone is in the same room with me. I told Benni that I am going to marry and said he can come to the wedding if he'd like. I wasn't sure if he would because of his complicated feelings, but he said he would. Hamburg - Stuttgart, that's a long way to travel.
Well, I should end this entry for now. I need to get ready for work. I whish you a wonderful weekend!
On Wednesday I went to Lush and bought new shampoo, a conditioner bar and got a sample of Softy, a foot lotion with lavender. Later that day I made some anti cellulite coffee scrub bars and couldn't wait for my next shower. ^^ The coffee scrub bars aren't perfect yet. They need more butter. Or maybe it was just because I used coconut oil instead of cocoa butter.
I found an online shop with essential oils, herbs and all the stuff you need for homemade cosmetics. And they were so cheap! I couldn't resist and ordered cocoa butter, shea butter, bees wax and three bottles of essential oils to make some anti migraine sticks. They're supposed to also help with allergies, so I will send Sinta a few of them, too.
On Thursday I had a day off and met Yvonne in town. We had dinner and then one of us said we could go to a bridal wear shop since I wanted to wear a wedding dress just once. I repeat: We went just to have a look. I was prepared for finding a dress I'd really love but couldn't afford, so I'd leave the shop heartbroken. I wasn't prepared for what happened then.
The first dress I tried was okay, but I didn't like it at all. As I said, I didn't even want to buy a dress at all. But the second dress I tried on... Yvonne burst out in tears when I left the changing room. ^^ (And so did my mom when she saw a picture of me in it.) The shop assistant said this dress was reduced from almost 2000€ to 300€. That's when Yvonne decided to buy it. We were both overwhelmed. Though I always dreamed of it I never thought I'd actually wear a wedding dress on my wedding. As far as I know I'm the first one in my family to have one.
( Click to see the dress.Collapse )
After that we needed alcohol. So we went to Sausalitos and had a few drinks. I had two cocktails and Yvonne one cocktail and two vodka shots. We were a little bit drunk when we went home. I was so excited I felt sick.
I went to Tom and later his new roomie Hendrik joined us. Hendrik moved in this week and is very handsome. And he has such a cute smile. ^^ They men drank a lot of beer while I was fighting headaches and getting more and more tired as time went by.
It must have been around 2:30am when I noticed I didn't feel very well. I thought it was just anxiety stuff, I'm used to that. But no, it wasn't just anxiety. So I grabbed a bucket as fast as I could and placed myself on the floor. I was about to have a fit.
For all you new people here, I've had these fits every 1 or 2 years for about 12 or 13 years now. Everytime it's a little bit different, but mostly it's loosing concsiousness and puking. Sometimes it's so bad I'd rather die than go through this.
( Cut for some gross details.Collapse )
After I was done I fell asleep pretty quickly. guess i must have scared the shit out of Tom and Hendrik.
The next day i was supposed to have late shift. I would have been able to go, but I'd rather not. The day after a fit I don't feel very well. I stayed in bed most of the time and watched documentaries. I learned that Hitler had a love for Mickey Mouse movies. Who knew?
I got up sometime in the afternoon, went food shopping and returned home. Tom came by later and helped me cleaning my room. He did all the dishes (thanks God) and I did the laundry. It took a while, but I'm very glad it is done. The rest of my room is easy and quick to clean.
Yesterday i also called my mom for it was her 49th birthday. I also tried to call Benni, but he didn't have time.
He called today and we had a few minutes before Tom came over. I can't talk on the phone as long as someone is in the same room with me. I told Benni that I am going to marry and said he can come to the wedding if he'd like. I wasn't sure if he would because of his complicated feelings, but he said he would. Hamburg - Stuttgart, that's a long way to travel.
Well, I should end this entry for now. I need to get ready for work. I whish you a wonderful weekend!
- Current Mood:
busy - Current Music:Ween - Beacon Light
- Current Location:home
It's 2:30am and I can't sleep. I have morning shift tomorrow, so I'm not very pleased. For 2 months I've overslept every fucking single day. I have no idea why. It doesn't matter if I go to bed early or not.
I always had problems getting up in the morning, but it's never been that bad before.
So I dropped some lavender oil on a cloth to calm down. (Had anxiety today out of the blue.) And made a cup of melissa tea. My mom used to give me a cup every night about bed time when I was little. Back then I had troubles falling asleep. Sometimes I'd lay in bed for hours, trying to sleep.
A few things happened lately. I've been busy sewing stuff. I decided to start an online business with sewn things. I know that this is going to be hard, and probably it won't be worth the effort. But I've been thinking of this for years, and now it's time to bring this plan to reality.
I'm making a wall painting for Sören's room. I'll be posting pics of the process on my Instagram account.
Hope your night is better than mine.
I always had problems getting up in the morning, but it's never been that bad before.
So I dropped some lavender oil on a cloth to calm down. (Had anxiety today out of the blue.) And made a cup of melissa tea. My mom used to give me a cup every night about bed time when I was little. Back then I had troubles falling asleep. Sometimes I'd lay in bed for hours, trying to sleep.
A few things happened lately. I've been busy sewing stuff. I decided to start an online business with sewn things. I know that this is going to be hard, and probably it won't be worth the effort. But I've been thinking of this for years, and now it's time to bring this plan to reality.
I'm making a wall painting for Sören's room. I'll be posting pics of the process on my Instagram account.
Hope your night is better than mine.
- Current Location:home
- Current Music:Tokyo Godfathers
- Current Mood:
tired
Have yourself a happy little
Christmas Friending Meme
Christmas Friending Meme
December's here. It's getting cold outside, so wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket and have a tea or hot cocoa and make some friends.
Just fill out the form below.
More people, more fun, right? So please post this in your LJ: