What do you do when you think you're going to another country ? What do you do when you think you would travel ? What do you do ?
PLAN AHEAD !!
What do you think that it would just materialise right there in front of you ? My case is totally different then your's. You should know better it would take at least 3 months for it to pass. Could have gotten it like a month before if you would have gave it like straightaway after getting your offer letter.
I blame alot of people. Your agent, your foreign minister. They can't do anything right. Saying all those worthless hopeful phrases, where they can't do anything at all. What's the use giving this people trust ? I don't see any benefit of it.
AND most of all, We planned! We had something planned!!! This is always the case. Others f*ed up. Where actually there could have been earlier measures that can secure the plan.
But you just follow. Like always. It doesn't seem that it is important to you as you could put your life on it. You complaint, you stress about it. But did you even take any action by yourself ? Any action at all besides telling other people to do it ?
Just like my shopping plan or the cat show, Just tell me clearly from the start you guys don't want to go. I could just go myself, there's no hustle at all. But I got over it anyways. Just pissed off it happens again and again and AGAIN!!
Till now where we suppose don't have the stupid relationship to be named!! You still made me wait like a bloody puppy waiting for her kind master to bloody show up!!!
I thought I'm totally over it. I thought I don't have to wait anymore. I thought I'm at my own pace already. This is just hurtfull to the core. It's not like you would actually understand my point of view.
That's why I'm ranting out here. Crying out here. Rather than making you think I'm blaming you and making you feel bad and all. What's the use anyways.
Idiot.
-me @ home @ 10am-Aus
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
Either to keep as it is,
Or just let it slide of.
I'm tired with these mind games of mind.
I want to go into a deep coma and never come out of it till I'm 26.
That is long enough I think.
Good Day.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Current Mood:
indescribable
It's those time that you have to make a decision in life where the future of the decision would be favourable or not towards your life .
It has come to me, that I need to make a decision that would include my deepest feelings , my routine and my life.
Is it fine for me to make that decision now ?
Is it fair for myself and for others ?
Is it fair to whatever we had done to preserve it ?
Sooner or later, it will definitely hurt.
It'll make me cry.
It'll leave me depress.
Most of all,
It'll leave me feel alone.
No matter what I do, is never enough.
I'll keep it as it is ...
When the time comes,
I guess I'll leave it into fate's hand.
There's nothing I can do anything about it anyways.
Good Night.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Current Mood:
sad
The dreadful day has come...
I can't say anything anymore...
Coz there's nothing matters...
Just it's really our last time around together,
And you treat me like nothing...
Did you realise how were you treating me?
I come by when i'm already tired out by my day.
I'll will definitely sleep after only a few hours of us spending time together. We don't even talk much at all.
Then by the time we wake up, well specifically when I wake up, you would still be asleep. Dead asleep without even a thought to get up.
And I spend my time just hugging you or getting myself back to sleep.
But I'm just wasting time.
Do you think we talked?
What did we talked about?
Nothing.
You keep telling me don't be sad and don't cry,
Do we talk about anything else?
Why do you think I cry?
Whatelse could I say to you that is wrong?
And by the time you get up,
You just think of your friends 1st.
Not about me that's there in front of you.
Not me that's been waiting for you.
That's been waiting to actually spend time with you, where we can just talk like normal people.
But it doesnt matter anymore.
There's no time left...
There's nothing that can be done...
I'm going to smile and cry the time I have left.
Good day.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
We're done. I know that obviously.
But do you know?
It hurts massively.
The way you handle it between me, the way you put it in words to me. It hurts all over. The things you said to me. It's like I didn't matter at all. It's like I'm such a burden on you. No matter how or what I do or say is a major pain in the ass for you.
What we had for the past years was nothing to you.
You of all people should know how it feels. I won't hold any hard feelings for it coz karma is a bitch. But I'll keep in mind, that I won't trust you anymore. I'm taking you out of my life. That's what you wanted from the start anyways. There's no reason for me to keep you in my sincere heart any longer.
Telling me, we are friends. While you treat me as a fallout friend.
You want to keep us up to a minimum. You get what you want.
I'm tired of thinking of you in so many ways.
I'm tired of thinking the best for you.
I'm tired doing things that are for your benefit.
In the end, I'm the one ends up with nothing. As you per said, we are just an attachment with no feelings at all.
Of course I'll take it in a negative way. WHO DOESN'T!!!
And so you got what you want. I don't have any feelings towards you, not familiarity, not friendship, not love, no care, no nothing.
That's what you want. That's what you get.
Don't you realise? I'm the one who's always there for you? No matter what? But I guess you're to blind to saw that.
Since you have your dear friends now, I'm no longer needed then.
There's a way to turn things around. But it's all you now. You set the stage-play, and I went along as per you directed. It's your call. Want me to think of you differently, then its all on you.
Right now, there's nothing between us.
I miss you so much. But I'm dealing it this way.
It's your way. Which we had agreed on.
Evidently, I am blaming you. It's true. But it's your way and your thinking that leads this way.
I'm sorry. It's not entirely your fault, but I am blaming you on how you handling it.
From my heart,
Me - 25/10/13
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Current Mood: sad
Shouldn't mind when he's talking to other girls, shouldn't mind when he's busy with his boys, shouldn't mind when he doesn't talk to you, shouldn't be moody with him for the above reasons, should be supportive and helpful whenever needed, should just be me... The uncaring person, the selfish person, the heartless person, the nerdy person, the me, who I am at that time. I should be fine now (I hope). Its just a small thing in life, there are other important things to think about and do. Maybe I'll go up this week and visit my lil sister, that would be a fun change. Nonetheless, I'll have to be discipline in my studies, and get it done before seeing her. Maybe we could go and play laser tag for her fun.
How unfortunate it is to get sick on this special day...
Stuck with a headache fever and a damm running nose.
The day before landed on a high scale monthly pain, more than 12 hours of non-stopping piercing pain throughout the reproductive organs :'(
Though it ended, but I guess the pain got diverted into the fever and flu.
Sorry I had to put you through that ordeal and thanks for helping me out :-*
To say the "day" had been surprising, it was.
I can't say I knew how to react to the day because at the time we started, I didn't think it could reach up to now.
With all of my childish acts that I pulled, my mood swings, his silent, his way with words, I can't say I'm not surprised.
Like he said, we compromise each other.
I can't deny that since its true.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
Back in campus but there's still 10 days of semester holiday. Having being back to him earlier then plan is..... well I don't have any specific word for it...
There would be quite a long list of feelings that includes frustration, hurt, heartbreaking, sad, missed, some others too... But its not a thing I should put it out to anyone...
I think I'm again in depression mode or stress mode or hormonal mode...
A lot of things I wanna know or elaborate explanations...
But "Do I actually WANT to know?"
I like it better not knowing then knowing it all.
But at the same time I'll be more reserved then ever, I'll be quiet-ter, then he'll be more reserve, we'll be silent around each other, then I'll fall apart and break-down.
Ain't good to me as it will lead to more depressing mood...At the end, good night....
Sweet dreams to myself and my mind...
It's nice to be back, but with a price <3
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
- Current Mood:
moody
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