Supernatural: Virgin Territory (Let Me Be Your Guide) - J2, NC-17, 8/?
Title: Virgin Territory (Let Me Be Your Guide)
Pairing: Supernatural RPS, Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my filthy thoughts
Warnings/kinks/enticements: Underage (Jensen is 14 at the start of the fic), see below for all tags
[Full warnings/enticements (for whole fic, not single chapter)]Age Difference, Begging, Body Worship, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Caretaking, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Dry Orgasm, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Lap Sex, Loss of Virginity, Manipulative Relationship, Morally Ambiguous Character, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Promiscuity, Rimming, Secret Relationship, Size Kink, Teasing, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Virginity Kink, Dubious Consent, Don't Like Don't Read, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Heavy Angst
[Overall summary and notes]Summary: Everybody has kinks and fantasies, anyone who tells you otherwise is either a liar or they’re ashamed of what gets them hot and so they repress their desires. Jared isn’t like most people because he embraces his kinks and allows himself to indulge, never one to deny himself the pleasure of having exactly what he wants, and what he wants most, his biggest kink, is virgins. Nothing on this Earth gets him hotter than being someone’s first, guiding them through their sexual awakening, showing them the joys of sex, love and intimacy. He makes them feel as good as he possibly can, and in turn how to please him. When he buys a house next door to the Ackles family he has no idea his world is about to be turned upside down, all thanks to their beautiful and sexually inexperienced teenage son, Jensen.
A/N: This fic is darker than anything else I’ve written to date in that although Jared is a good guy for the most part, he does have a history of being manipulative to get what he wants when it comes to sex. He doesn’t actively go out seeking virgins, however when the opportunity presents itself he has no qualms in going after what he wants. It’s not for everyone - tags are there for a reason and they are comprehensive for the whole story even while in WIP status (more will be added if necessary), if you don’t like what you see there, don’t read the fic, it’s as simple as that!
[Chapter notes]A/N for chapter 8: Jensen learns more about Jared from his ex.
TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts
Jared flinches a little as Jensen stands beside him, an expression of a startled bunny on his face. The teen looks between the older man and the new arrival, expectantly, frowning a little when neither of them speak straight away. He hears Jared swallow and eventually he clears his throat and waves a hand at the guy standing in the doorway, glancing at him quickly before turning back to Jensen.
“Uh, coffee shop guy,” Jared says with a laugh that sounds forced, “sorry, man, I didn’t actually catch a name. A little unfair if you ask me, you get to know customers' names but we don’t know yours.” he rambles.
Something feels off but Jensen can’t place what it is, then to his surprise the guy raises an eyebrow like he can’t believe what Jared just said, his full mouth pinched in what seems to be distaste before it turns into a fake looking smile, “Well we do wear tags, people just don’t bother to take the time to read them!” he says in a flat tone and shoots what can only be described as a glare in Jared’s direction. He turns to Jensen and his smile seems to be much more genuine, maybe he only has a problem with people he thinks should know his name, “Hey, man,” he says, “I’m-”
“Jensen, a hand here, buddy?” Alan calls before the guy can finish speaking.
“Fuck,” the teen sighs, “catch you later,” he says, frowing at Jared on his way past to the kitchen for whatever he’s needed for this time.
“I don’t see why Dad couldn’t have done this,” he grumbles a few minutes later in his own kitchen as his mom loads up a tray with a fresh batch of chicken kebabs and sausages ready to go on the grill, “I’m not a servant.”
“Thank you for your help, honey,” his mom says in a sympathetic tone, stroking his hair, “and tell Jared I’m sorry Mac and I won’t make it, will you?”
“Sure,” he says, lifting the tray and heading towards the back door, there’s no way he’s going the long way around when he can go through the fence which is unlocked from earlier. He’s almost at the opening when he hears the unmistakable sound of hushed conversation. He doesn’t mean to listen but it’s hard not to, the voices are right on the other side of the fence.
“You didn’t catch my name...seriously, that’s the best you could do?”
“It’s the first thing that came to mind, kinda blindsided here, ya know?” comes the clipped reply.
There’s no mistaking Jared’s voice and the teen is immediately on edge, and from Jared’s tone it sounds like he is, too. Jensen throws a quick look behind him to make sure his mom hasn’t followed him outside and when he sees he’s alone, he creeps closer to listen.
“What the fuck are you even doing here, Jay? Is this some kind of weird stalkerly shit?”
“Are you insane?” the older man hisses, “Why the fuck would I do that?”
There’s a snort from the other guy, “I don’t know, it’s not like I ever had a clue what was going on in your head, is it? If I did I wouldn’t have been so…” his voice cracks a little on the last few words and Jensen’s heartbeat picks up with worry, he never likes hearing anyone upset.
“Jesus, I’m not stalking you, don’t be so ridiculous. I moved in a few months ago, it was time to get out of shitty apartments and here seemed a nice place. What the fuck are you doing here?”
“We’ve been here five years, my parents thought a change of scenery might help after…” a humourless laugh followed by a long silence, “well, you do remember what state I was in five years ago, right, Jay?” he says with more venom than Jensen thinks he’s ever heard.
Jared lets out a loud sigh and Jensen doesn’t need to see his face to know that the man will be frowning, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” he says quietly.
“Yeah well you did, but if you didn’t mean to it’s all OK then isn’t it?” the guy spits.
“That’s not fair,” Jared says, sounding distressed, “it wasn’t easy for me, either. I didn’t plan on things turning out how they did.”
“Bullshit, you knew exactly what you were doing all along. I’m not stupid enough to think I was the first and I’m sure I’m not the last, but after a year I thought you actually gave a shit, more fool me. There’s probably a whole parade of people you’ve fucked and forgotten about since then, though, no doubt you have some pubescent virgin twink fawning over you already, just your style, right?”
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Jared hisses, “this isn’t the time or the place.”
“Oh fuck you, Jared,” the younger man says, anger and pain clear in his voice, “you just don’t want all of your dirty little secret coming out.”
The sound of footsteps walking away follows and Jensen thinks it’s over, but that’s when Jared speaks again.
“Sweetheart, wait…”
“Don’t you dare call me that, you piece of shit. I gotta get out of here, stay the fuck away from me or I swear I’ll tell everyone what you’re really like.”
Even over the thundering of his heart Jensen can hear the footsteps disappearing. As the words he’s been overhearing sink in, it’s Jared’s last words that cut like a knife. The sound of his lover calling someone else by that pet name makes his stomach roll. This guy is Jared’s ex, there’s no doubt in the teen’s mind and it’s clear he’s not just any ex, he’s the one, the guy who fucked Jared up when it ended five years ago. The teen’s chest hurts and he feels sick. His breath is shaky and so are his legs, but in the back of his mind he knows he can’t stand there forever. He doesn’t want Jared to know he’s overheard the conversation even though there are so, so many questions running through his mind from just that snippet of conversation.
“Hey, buddy,” he hears his dad say, “is Jensen not back yet?”
Jared clears his throat, “Shit, you scared me,” he says around a startled laugh, “Uh, I didn’t know he’d gone anywhere.”
“Yeah, I sent him to get more meat from our fridge,” Alan replies, “I’ll go and see what’s keeping him.”
That spurs Jensen into action, he takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to steady himself before he takes a step to the side from his hiding spot and walks through the gate, “Here you go,” he says, voice sounding less shaky than he feels, thankfully. He drags his eyes up to meet Jared’s and sees an expression on his face that he can’t name. He thinks it’s somewhere between panic, hurt and confusion but he can’t be sure, “mom says sorry but her and Mac aren’t gonna make it over today after all.”
Jared nods, “That’s a shame, I hope Mac feels better soon,” he holds out a hand and for a moment Jensen thinks he’s encouraging him into a hug, then realises it’s for the tray he’s holding, “I better get these on before people start pouring out here baying for my blood.”
Jensen nods and says nothing, dropping his arms to his sides once he’s relieved of the load, then into the back pockets of his jeans so nobody sees his shaky hands, “I’m gonna…” he nods to the door his dad is already walking back through, “head in and get a drink...mingle and shit.”
Jared’s face drops when he says that but the older man recovers quickly, “Mingling is overrated,” he says with a forced laugh, “stay out here with me, you can be in charge of the grill if you like. I trust you not to burn the place down.”
The teen knows the offer is Jared’s way of having him close - and by extension keeping him away from the ex - but the smell of cooking is doing nothing to ease the nausea he feels, “Nah,” he shakes his head, “I’m good, thanks.” He hears Jared’s questioning noise as he turns away, but he doesn’t look back.
Almost an hour and much procrastinating and stressing later, Jensen finally works up the courage to go over to the mystery guy. He's watched as the man has made polite conversation with people he obviously knows, and he looks about as uncomfortable as Jensen feels. Under the guise of getting himself a drink Jensen stands next to the taller man by the kitchen counter, offering him a small smile, “Hi,” he says, “Hell of a spread isn't it?” his voice is surprisingly steady, much to his relief.
“Sure is,” the guy says, rolling his eyes, “it looks like Jay's feeding the five thousand, he always has to go all out, overachieving bastard!” There’s that pinched look to his face again as he looks at all the food laid out, but his smile is friendly when he looks back, “It's Jensen, right?”
“Yeah,” the teen says, taken by surprise, “have we met before? I'm sorry if we have, I don't remember.”
The older guy shakes his head, “It’s cool, it was a while ago. You were pretty young when we moved in so you probably won't remember,” he holds a large hand out towards Jensen which the een looks at for a moment, torn over whether he wants to touch someone who’s also touched Jared in the same ways he has, a small surge of jealousy under his skin until he comes to his senses, it would look odd if he doesn’t play along. He reaches out, ready to shake, “I’m-” the guy is cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching.
“Hey, kids, what's going on here?” Jared says in a voice that's far too cheerful to be genuine, even for him, “Making friends?” the look on his face is nervous to say the least and Jensen feels his stomach squirm, not sure how to feel.
“Making introductions,” the teen says, looking away from Jared but he can almost feel the heat coming from his body where the older man is standing barely a couple of inches away from him, “so, where were we?” he asks, holding out his own hand this time.
“Colin,” the guy says and takes Jensen’s hand in a firm grip, “Colin Ford, Don and Kim are my parents.”
“Riiight,” Jensens says with a nod, “number twenty right?”
“That’s us,” Colin replies, “nice to meet you.”
“You...,” Jensen pauses when he feels the heat of Jared’s hand on his lower back, unable to stop his muscles stiffening at the touch, “you too,” he finally gets out.
“So do you guys need anything else? Plenty to go around,” Jared asks as he slides his hand up Jensen’s back to lightly grip the back of his neck in what feels like a possessive gesture even though it’s probably meant to appear friendly, “Jensen here helped with a lot of the prep, Jay’s little soux chef,” he says with a laugh. Despite his better judgement the teen turns to look at him, caught off guard by the soft smile on his lover’s lips.
“I’m not little,” he grumbles, stepping forward slightly to reach a bottle of Coke, meaning Jared’s hand slips from his neck, “and stop referring to yourself in the third person, Jay, it’s fucking weird.” It comes out a little harsher than he meant and he immediately feels guilty for drawing attention to himself. He turns back to the older man who’s looking at him with a small frown, “Sorry,” he mumbles.
Jared laughs and smiles fondly, again, “So sensitive, you know what I meant. You’ve been a big help, Jen, really, thank you.”
“We’re fine here, Jared,” Colin says in a flat tone, “maybe you should check on your other guests and leave us kids to it.”
Jensen fills the awkward silence by pouring himself a glass of Coke but his hands are sweaty and the bottle slips, spilling the sticky liquid all over the sideboard, “Shit!” he hisses, quickly putting the bottle down on the side, grabbing a handful of kitchen towel to mop up the spill and tossing it in the bin before he ducks down to the cupboard under the sink to pull out the surface spray and a dishcloth. He quickly wets the cloth, sprays the lemon scented liquid onto it and starts cleaning up the counter. It’s only when he’s rinsed the cloth and pulled out a fresh towel from the drawer to dry his hands that he realises that still nobody is speaking. He looks over to see if Jared has left but he’s still there, watching Jensen work, and when he turns to Colin he has a small frown on his face.
“You sure know your way around Jay’s...” he pauses with a small shake of his head, “Jared’s kitchen. Do you spend a lot of time here, Jensen?”
“Uh…” the teen replies, dumbly, saved from thinking up a reasonable answer when Jared speaks up.
“Like I said, he helped a lot with the prep work,” his tone not quite sharp but certainly not friendly, either.
“Right, and the gym thing,” Jensen’s mouth says without his brain’s permission.
“The gym thing?” Colin asks, the frown increasing.
“Yeah, Jared’s letting me use his gym upstairs. I want to put on some muscle mass so he’s helping me get into shape.” he replies, sweeping a hand up and down his body to indicate the obviousness of his slim frame.
Colin blinks a couple of times and his eyes follow Jensen’s motions before he folds his arms over his chest as best he can with a beer bottle in his hand. He looks over at Jared with what’s clearly meant to be a blank expression but fails, mouth pinched and his jaw flexing before he speaks, “Yeah, I’ll just bet he is!” he snorts. He looks back to Jensen, “Just be careful, alright, kid? Sometimes we don’t realise how hard we’re being pushed until it’s too late. You gotta learn your limits and know when to say no...and make sure you do say no.”
Jensen’s heartbeat soars while his stomach does somersaults, surely that can’t mean what he thinks Colin means? Can it?
“Alright, that's enough!” Jared says, leaning over and stretching a long arm in Colin’s direction to fish the beer from his grip, “I think someone had enough of this for today, don't you? Are you even old enough to be drinking, Colin?”
Colin snorts, but releases the bottle, “Oh, I think we can all agree we've all done things we weren't old enough to do, ain't that right Jay?”
All three of them jump at the sound of someone next to them, “Hi guys,” says Kim, brightly, “looks like you three are getting on well!” She looks between them and smiles, patting Colin’s cheek, “it's good to see you making friends at home, honey, maybe now you won't spend so much time on your own.”
“Mom!” Colin hisses, “leave it will you? I'm surrounded by people all the time at college and the coffee shop, I just want a bit of peace and quiet when I come home!” he turns to Jensen and places a large hand on the teen’s shoulder, heat bleeding through the cotton of his t-shirt and Jensen can't help but notice the similarity in size to Jared’s hand, “I'll see you around, kid,” he glances quickly over at Jared before looking back, “come over if you want to talk about anything, yeah?”
“Er, yeah, bye,” Jensen replies with a small nod, feeling both relief and a little distress at Colin’s sudden departure. He wants to hate the man but he also knows they have something in common and it kinda makes the teen want to know more about him...and about Jared’ past with him, because apparently he’s a masochist and needs even more angst.
“I wish he’d spend more time with other people,” Kim says with a sad look on her face, “he used to be such an outgoing boy when he was younger, but of course that was before he…” she pauses, obviously having said more than she should have done, “anyway I guess I should be going too. Thanks again for stepping in, Jared, it was really good of you. This is all amazing. You've set the bar so high you realise the rest of the neighbourhood is going to hate you, now, right?” she teases.
Jared laughs, “My pleasure, and as for setting the bar that's not something I can help I'm afraid. I tend to go a little overboard, people have always called me an overachiever!” he laughs again, the smile on his face fading and turning to a slight frown as he looks at Jensen.
The teen’s stomach has dropped even more, unsure whether it’s coincidence that Jared has just used the word overachiever, or whether he overheard all of Colin and Jensen's conversation without them realising. He takes a deep, steadying breath and puts on the best smile that he can, “I’m gonna get going, too,” on autopilot he reaches up half pats and half strokes Jared's bicep. As soon as he realises what he's done he pulls back quickly as if he's been burnt, hoping nobody but Jared noticed.
Jensen waits for Kim to turn and leave before quickly facing the older man fully, “Thanks for having me over, Jared,” he says in his friendliest tone, completely fake for anyone who might be in earshot, even though his stomach is still wobbly, “See you...whenever.”
Jared looks around the kitchen and when he seems satisfied that no one is looking directly at them he leans down and quietly says, “Is everything OK, sweetheart? You don't seem yourself, you're not coming down with that bug as well are you?”
“I'm fine,” Jensen says snaps, his blood instantly boiling at Jared using the pet name so soon after saying it to Colin, “I'm just tired is all, between you and my dad I've barely had a break this weekend and I still have homework to do.”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” Jared says, disappointment evident on his face. It makes Jensen feel guilty for being the one to put it there, even though he’s currently hurt and angry at the man, “Thanks again for your help, I mean it, Jen, I couldn’t have done this without you.”
The teen nods and offers a tired smile, “Sure, I’m gonna find Dad and tell him I’m leaving.” he gets two steps away before the weight of Jared’s hand is on his shoulder.
“Jen,” he says, quieter still, looking around again, “can you come back later? We’ve hardly had any alone time, I wanna hold you.”
Jensen swallows the lump in his throat, “I don’t think so, like I said, homework. I need an early night.”
The older man nods and sighs, “I get it, sorry, guess I just wanted some proper time with you. I miss you when you’re not around.”
He looks totally dejected and despite his turmoil Jensen wants nothing more than to throw himself into the man’s arms for a hug that would comfort them both, but instead makes a quick exit, his head spinning and his heart aching.
It’s been four nights of barely any sleep for Jensen and he’s running on empty, both physically and emotionally. He missed his Tuesday gym session with Jared without explanation and has so far successfully managed to avoid the man, but knows that can’t last forever. His mom has told him Jared called around earlier when Jensen should have been home from school to check in on him and the teen promised her he’d apologise to Jared for not telling him he wasn’t going for their regular evening slot. He’s due there tonight, too, but he’s made his mind up that there’s something he needs to do first before he can face Jared again.
The after school crowd has died down in the coffee shop across town, Jensen made sure to take his time walking there for that very reason, the less people the better. When he enters the shop Colin is behind the counter as expected. Kim was more than happy to share what time his shift ended when Jensen saw her in the driveway this morning and asked after him, seemingly delighted that they must have hit it off at the barbeque enough to hang out. He takes a couple of deep breaths and approaches the counter.
Colin finishes serving the customer in front and turns his head, customer service smile plastered on his face, “Hi, what can I get for…,” the smile changes to a confused look, “Jensen, er, hi… what are you doing here?”
The teen licks his dry lips and swallows the nervous lump in his throat, “Hey, I was hoping we could hang out…maybe talk,” he replies, speeding up when it looks like Colin’s going to object, “after your shift, I mean. Your mom said you finish at five thirty, I can get a table and wait. It’s no problem, I brought a book with me.”
Colin’s face takes on a frustrated look, “Of course she did,” he sighs, “why would she ever stay out of my business?” he shakes his head, “Sorry, man, not your fault.”
“That’s OK,” Jensen replies, “I guess I shouldn't have just shown up here, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry,” he gestures to the door behind him, “I can just go.”
“No, no, it’s fine, just caught me by surprise is all,” Colin says with a small smile, “truth be told it’s nice to see a friendly face around here. What can I get you, Jensen?”
The teen feels a huge sense of relief at Colin’s reaction and offers him a small smile which the man returns, “Large Americano, black with extra shot, please,” he looks over the selection of cakes and pastries, “uh, what’s good?” he asks, spoilt for choice.
“Everything,” Colin laughs, patting his belly, “too good. The blueberry muffins are my favourite, though.”
Jensen’s stomach wobbles and he feels his face go pale as he immediately thinks of Jared feeding him the batter mix in his kitchen and he shakes his head, “No, absolutely not.”
Colin frowns slightly but says nothing about Jensen’s reaction, “In that case I’d say go for the Tiramisu muffin, it’ll go well with your coffee.”
“Sure, that sounds good,” Jensen replies, digging money out of his pocket and putting it on the counter while Colin puts the muffin that looks like it has the most frosting onto a plate, then puts the plate on a tray.
“Take a seat, I’ll fetch it over when the coffee’s ready.”
Forty five minutes later Jensen looks up from his book at the sound of someone approaching the table. Colin holds up a set of keys, “Wanna go for a drive, take the long way home?”
The teen nods, feeling grateful that they won’t have to rush, “Yeah, that’d be good.”
Colin drives them to some old, abandoned warehouses Jensen didn’t even know were there, shuts off the engine and shifts in his seat so he’s turned towards the teen, “I come out here when I need to think, it’s peaceful.”
“Kinda creepy, too,” Jensen replies with an amused smile.
Colin laughs and nods his head, “I guess so, hadn’t really thought about it. Don’t worry, I won’t get the ghosts or serial killers get you!”
The teen laughs at that despite the building nerves and swirling in this stomach, “Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” Colin replies, his smile turning into a serious look, “I’m guessing this is about Jared?”
Jensen nods and looks away, momentarily, “Yeah,” he replies, voice rough where his throat feels like it’s closing up a little, “it’s pretty obvious you two have history.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me anything,” the teen says, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans, “well not as such, I, uh… I overheard your conversation at the barbeque, didn’t take a genius to put two and two together,” he looks over at Colin again who’s pressing his lips together and nodding, “I mean he mentioned in the past that he was with someone for a long time five years ago who he cared deeply about, so…” he waves a hand in the man’s direction, “had to be you.”
“He ‘cared deeply’ about me?” Colin shakes his head derisively, “yeah, right. Funny way of showing it, didn’t even bother himself to come and check on me, the whole town knew I was in hospital but he didn’t a fuck,” he spits. He rubs his forehead and lets out a sigh, staring out of the window for what feels like forever before he turns back to Jensen with an imploring look on his face, “Jensen, listen to me, I don’t know how much bullshit he’s fed you but you can’t listen to him. He’s bad news, he’ll say anything to get what he wants and he doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.”
The teen’s heart feels like it’s trying to escape from his throat, “You were in hospital? What happened?” he asks, ignoring Colin’s other words for the time being.
Colin closes his eyes and rests his head back on the seat, his chest rising and falling quickly until he gets his breathing under control. When he looks back at Jensen there are tears in his eyes, “You have to understand, I’d just turned fifteen when we split and he was my whole world, he’s an expert in making it feel that way. When he left I didn’t see any point in carrying on…” he tails off, undoing the straps of the thick leather cuff on his left wrist to show a faded but clear scar, approximately four inches long up his arm, “I was young and stupid, I’m not proud of it,” he finishes with a sad smile.
“Holy shit!” Jensen gasps, stunned at what he’s seeing, “I’m...I can’t imagine how awful that must have been,” his chest aches for Colin despite barely knowing him, nobody should feel so in pain that they only see one end to it, “wait,” he says as something clicks into place, “he knew about this?” when he gets a nod in response he shakes his own head, “No, no, I don’t believe that. Jared may not be perfect but he’s not that cruel, I’m sure of it!”
“Oh my God, Jensen, do you think I’d lie about something like that?” Colin practically shouts, “This is what he does, he makes you believe he’s a good guy when really he’s a heartless, manipulative monster who preys on who knows how many teenagers like you and me? Let me guess, you’re what, fourteen or fifteen...obviously a virgin, probably never been kissed or touched until he came along? I bet he’s told you he wants you even though he knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist you, right? Told you he’s not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, that he cares about you too much to push you into anything...that you have to ask him for what you want him to ‘teach’ you… am I close?”
With every word coming out of Colin’s mouth Jensen feels more sick, heart thumping in his chest and temples, his stomach rolling, a cold sweat of panic forming on his skin. He tries to speak but he’s lost for words, so he just nods. He feels tears slip down his cheeks as he tries to get air into his lungs, breath hitching as he does. He feels numb and a little dizzy. He blinks out of his daze when he feels Colin’s thumb brushing away his tears.
“I’m so sorry, Jensen,” Colin says, softly, a look of sad disappointment in his eyes, obviously taking no pleasure in being right, “if I’d said something sooner you wouldn’t be in this situation. That’s why you need to know what he’s really like. As soon as I saw you I just knew you were just his type,” he keeps stroking the teen’s cheek, “those big, trusting eyes...that mouth…” he pulls his hand away, “you’re beautiful, of course he couldn’t help himself. It doesn’t make it right, though, you understand that, don’t you?”
Jensen nods even though his mind is racing, screaming no even though everything Colin is saying rings true. They sit in silence while Jensen tries to gather his thoughts, “What do we do now?”
“That depends on you.” Colin replies, “Can I ask you how far things have gone between you?”
“What?” Jensen asks, shocked, “You mean like details?”
“God no,” Colin replies, looking aghast, “dude, that’s not what I’m asking. Well, I am but not for my own interests...I mean have you, you know, gone all the way? If you haven’t then there’s still time to walk away before he does any more damage, or to…” he trails off.
“To what?” Jensen asks, frowning.
Colin sighs and grips the steering wheel, “To gather evidence against him, if that’s what you wanted to do. He can’t keep getting away with it, Jensen. If you…” he looks away, swallowing audibly before turning back, “if you can be braver than me and go to the Police, put a stop to it. I can back you up, there’s a pattern. It’s all historical for me but you, you can make sure they catch him in the act now before he dumps you and moves onto another victim.”
“I’m not a victim!” Jensen grits, feeling a surge of anger at the word, “I can’t do that to him… I don’t want to do that, it’s not…”
“It’s not what? Not fair? Do you think it’s fair for him to use vulnerable people for his own sick desires, break their hearts and not give a shit?”
“He does give a shit, he cares about me,” Jensen replies, defiantly, refusing to believe that everything Jared has told him has been lies, “how do I know you’re not the one lying to me, huh? He’s told me about you, he told me he thought he loved you. You were different, he was fucked up when things ended. Did you know there’s not been anyone else since you until now?” he raises his voice even as Colin opens his mouth to speak, “He’s told me there have been others before me. Why would he incriminate himself like that if he was such a monster? Did he tell you about the others?” he’s almost out of breath, “Well? Did he make out that you were the only one?”
“No, he didn’t tell me anything, I figured it out because that’s what predators do, Jensen, there’s never just one,” Colin says, his tone full of exasperation, “maybe he’s just got cocky and wanted to brag which is all the more reason to go to the Police now, you can tell them everything he’s told you. You might be able to get more details from his past...people like him don’t change, Jensen, he’ll keep doing it until he’s stopped.”
The teen is having trouble catching his breath. His head is all over the place, unsure what to believe, Colin sounds so sincere, but then so did Jared. He doesn’t know what to think, who to believe and he feels like a fool for being torn like this. He takes some deep breaths, trying to calm his mind as well his body so that he can think clearer, “Take me home,” he says, eventually. Colin looks like he’s going to argue, but after a while nods and start the engine.
Neither of them speak another word until they pull up outside Jensen’s house, then it’s Colin who breaks the silence, “Are you going to tell your parents? Do you want me to be there when you do?” he asks softly.
The teen’s mind has been running through scenarios in his head for the duration of the drive and he’s made his mind up, “I’m not doing anything until I’ve spoken to Jared.” he says, evenly.
“Are you fucking crazy? Jensen, he’s just going to manipulate you some more, don’t let him do it! Come on, man, you’re smarter than that!”
Against all rational thought Jensen feels strangely calm, “My mind is made up,” he says, simply, opening the car door and not looking back.
He sits through dinner with his family, makes small talk with them until it’s time to shower and head next door for his scheduled gym time with Jared. Only when he’s standing outside the man’s door does he start to feel anxious again, but right now he doesn’t feel angry even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should be.
The look of relief on Jared’s face when he opens the door is the only thing that makes the teen’s step falter, slightly. Once inside he walks straight into the kitchen and stands in the middle of the room, waiting for Jared to trail behind him. Long arms pull him into a tight hug, the older man’s hand threading into Jensen’s hair, holding him in place.
“God I missed you, Jen, it’s been a really long week.” Jared says in between pressing kisses to his temple. When the teen doesn’t respond in any way he pulls back, a look of confusion clear on his face, “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, lifting a hand to touch Jensen’s face but the teen stops him by gripping his wrist.
“How many virgins have you talked into your bed, Jared? Did you leave them all a broken mess like you did Colin? Is that what you plan on doing to me? And don’t you fucking dare lie to me.”
.
Pairing: Supernatural RPS, Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my filthy thoughts
Warnings/kinks/enticements: Underage (Jensen is 14 at the start of the fic), see below for all tags
[Full warnings/enticements (for whole fic, not single chapter)]Age Difference, Begging, Body Worship, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Caretaking, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Dry Orgasm, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Lap Sex, Loss of Virginity, Manipulative Relationship, Morally Ambiguous Character, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Promiscuity, Rimming, Secret Relationship, Size Kink, Teasing, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Virginity Kink, Dubious Consent, Don't Like Don't Read, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Heavy Angst
[Overall summary and notes]Summary: Everybody has kinks and fantasies, anyone who tells you otherwise is either a liar or they’re ashamed of what gets them hot and so they repress their desires. Jared isn’t like most people because he embraces his kinks and allows himself to indulge, never one to deny himself the pleasure of having exactly what he wants, and what he wants most, his biggest kink, is virgins. Nothing on this Earth gets him hotter than being someone’s first, guiding them through their sexual awakening, showing them the joys of sex, love and intimacy. He makes them feel as good as he possibly can, and in turn how to please him. When he buys a house next door to the Ackles family he has no idea his world is about to be turned upside down, all thanks to their beautiful and sexually inexperienced teenage son, Jensen.
A/N: This fic is darker than anything else I’ve written to date in that although Jared is a good guy for the most part, he does have a history of being manipulative to get what he wants when it comes to sex. He doesn’t actively go out seeking virgins, however when the opportunity presents itself he has no qualms in going after what he wants. It’s not for everyone - tags are there for a reason and they are comprehensive for the whole story even while in WIP status (more will be added if necessary), if you don’t like what you see there, don’t read the fic, it’s as simple as that!
[Chapter notes]A/N for chapter 8: Jensen learns more about Jared from his ex.
TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts
Jared flinches a little as Jensen stands beside him, an expression of a startled bunny on his face. The teen looks between the older man and the new arrival, expectantly, frowning a little when neither of them speak straight away. He hears Jared swallow and eventually he clears his throat and waves a hand at the guy standing in the doorway, glancing at him quickly before turning back to Jensen.
“Uh, coffee shop guy,” Jared says with a laugh that sounds forced, “sorry, man, I didn’t actually catch a name. A little unfair if you ask me, you get to know customers' names but we don’t know yours.” he rambles.
Something feels off but Jensen can’t place what it is, then to his surprise the guy raises an eyebrow like he can’t believe what Jared just said, his full mouth pinched in what seems to be distaste before it turns into a fake looking smile, “Well we do wear tags, people just don’t bother to take the time to read them!” he says in a flat tone and shoots what can only be described as a glare in Jared’s direction. He turns to Jensen and his smile seems to be much more genuine, maybe he only has a problem with people he thinks should know his name, “Hey, man,” he says, “I’m-”
“Jensen, a hand here, buddy?” Alan calls before the guy can finish speaking.
“Fuck,” the teen sighs, “catch you later,” he says, frowing at Jared on his way past to the kitchen for whatever he’s needed for this time.
“I don’t see why Dad couldn’t have done this,” he grumbles a few minutes later in his own kitchen as his mom loads up a tray with a fresh batch of chicken kebabs and sausages ready to go on the grill, “I’m not a servant.”
“Thank you for your help, honey,” his mom says in a sympathetic tone, stroking his hair, “and tell Jared I’m sorry Mac and I won’t make it, will you?”
“Sure,” he says, lifting the tray and heading towards the back door, there’s no way he’s going the long way around when he can go through the fence which is unlocked from earlier. He’s almost at the opening when he hears the unmistakable sound of hushed conversation. He doesn’t mean to listen but it’s hard not to, the voices are right on the other side of the fence.
“You didn’t catch my name...seriously, that’s the best you could do?”
“It’s the first thing that came to mind, kinda blindsided here, ya know?” comes the clipped reply.
There’s no mistaking Jared’s voice and the teen is immediately on edge, and from Jared’s tone it sounds like he is, too. Jensen throws a quick look behind him to make sure his mom hasn’t followed him outside and when he sees he’s alone, he creeps closer to listen.
“What the fuck are you even doing here, Jay? Is this some kind of weird stalkerly shit?”
“Are you insane?” the older man hisses, “Why the fuck would I do that?”
There’s a snort from the other guy, “I don’t know, it’s not like I ever had a clue what was going on in your head, is it? If I did I wouldn’t have been so…” his voice cracks a little on the last few words and Jensen’s heartbeat picks up with worry, he never likes hearing anyone upset.
“Jesus, I’m not stalking you, don’t be so ridiculous. I moved in a few months ago, it was time to get out of shitty apartments and here seemed a nice place. What the fuck are you doing here?”
“We’ve been here five years, my parents thought a change of scenery might help after…” a humourless laugh followed by a long silence, “well, you do remember what state I was in five years ago, right, Jay?” he says with more venom than Jensen thinks he’s ever heard.
Jared lets out a loud sigh and Jensen doesn’t need to see his face to know that the man will be frowning, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” he says quietly.
“Yeah well you did, but if you didn’t mean to it’s all OK then isn’t it?” the guy spits.
“That’s not fair,” Jared says, sounding distressed, “it wasn’t easy for me, either. I didn’t plan on things turning out how they did.”
“Bullshit, you knew exactly what you were doing all along. I’m not stupid enough to think I was the first and I’m sure I’m not the last, but after a year I thought you actually gave a shit, more fool me. There’s probably a whole parade of people you’ve fucked and forgotten about since then, though, no doubt you have some pubescent virgin twink fawning over you already, just your style, right?”
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Jared hisses, “this isn’t the time or the place.”
“Oh fuck you, Jared,” the younger man says, anger and pain clear in his voice, “you just don’t want all of your dirty little secret coming out.”
The sound of footsteps walking away follows and Jensen thinks it’s over, but that’s when Jared speaks again.
“Sweetheart, wait…”
“Don’t you dare call me that, you piece of shit. I gotta get out of here, stay the fuck away from me or I swear I’ll tell everyone what you’re really like.”
Even over the thundering of his heart Jensen can hear the footsteps disappearing. As the words he’s been overhearing sink in, it’s Jared’s last words that cut like a knife. The sound of his lover calling someone else by that pet name makes his stomach roll. This guy is Jared’s ex, there’s no doubt in the teen’s mind and it’s clear he’s not just any ex, he’s the one, the guy who fucked Jared up when it ended five years ago. The teen’s chest hurts and he feels sick. His breath is shaky and so are his legs, but in the back of his mind he knows he can’t stand there forever. He doesn’t want Jared to know he’s overheard the conversation even though there are so, so many questions running through his mind from just that snippet of conversation.
“Hey, buddy,” he hears his dad say, “is Jensen not back yet?”
Jared clears his throat, “Shit, you scared me,” he says around a startled laugh, “Uh, I didn’t know he’d gone anywhere.”
“Yeah, I sent him to get more meat from our fridge,” Alan replies, “I’ll go and see what’s keeping him.”
That spurs Jensen into action, he takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to steady himself before he takes a step to the side from his hiding spot and walks through the gate, “Here you go,” he says, voice sounding less shaky than he feels, thankfully. He drags his eyes up to meet Jared’s and sees an expression on his face that he can’t name. He thinks it’s somewhere between panic, hurt and confusion but he can’t be sure, “mom says sorry but her and Mac aren’t gonna make it over today after all.”
Jared nods, “That’s a shame, I hope Mac feels better soon,” he holds out a hand and for a moment Jensen thinks he’s encouraging him into a hug, then realises it’s for the tray he’s holding, “I better get these on before people start pouring out here baying for my blood.”
Jensen nods and says nothing, dropping his arms to his sides once he’s relieved of the load, then into the back pockets of his jeans so nobody sees his shaky hands, “I’m gonna…” he nods to the door his dad is already walking back through, “head in and get a drink...mingle and shit.”
Jared’s face drops when he says that but the older man recovers quickly, “Mingling is overrated,” he says with a forced laugh, “stay out here with me, you can be in charge of the grill if you like. I trust you not to burn the place down.”
The teen knows the offer is Jared’s way of having him close - and by extension keeping him away from the ex - but the smell of cooking is doing nothing to ease the nausea he feels, “Nah,” he shakes his head, “I’m good, thanks.” He hears Jared’s questioning noise as he turns away, but he doesn’t look back.
Almost an hour and much procrastinating and stressing later, Jensen finally works up the courage to go over to the mystery guy. He's watched as the man has made polite conversation with people he obviously knows, and he looks about as uncomfortable as Jensen feels. Under the guise of getting himself a drink Jensen stands next to the taller man by the kitchen counter, offering him a small smile, “Hi,” he says, “Hell of a spread isn't it?” his voice is surprisingly steady, much to his relief.
“Sure is,” the guy says, rolling his eyes, “it looks like Jay's feeding the five thousand, he always has to go all out, overachieving bastard!” There’s that pinched look to his face again as he looks at all the food laid out, but his smile is friendly when he looks back, “It's Jensen, right?”
“Yeah,” the teen says, taken by surprise, “have we met before? I'm sorry if we have, I don't remember.”
The older guy shakes his head, “It’s cool, it was a while ago. You were pretty young when we moved in so you probably won't remember,” he holds a large hand out towards Jensen which the een looks at for a moment, torn over whether he wants to touch someone who’s also touched Jared in the same ways he has, a small surge of jealousy under his skin until he comes to his senses, it would look odd if he doesn’t play along. He reaches out, ready to shake, “I’m-” the guy is cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching.
“Hey, kids, what's going on here?” Jared says in a voice that's far too cheerful to be genuine, even for him, “Making friends?” the look on his face is nervous to say the least and Jensen feels his stomach squirm, not sure how to feel.
“Making introductions,” the teen says, looking away from Jared but he can almost feel the heat coming from his body where the older man is standing barely a couple of inches away from him, “so, where were we?” he asks, holding out his own hand this time.
“Colin,” the guy says and takes Jensen’s hand in a firm grip, “Colin Ford, Don and Kim are my parents.”
“Riiight,” Jensens says with a nod, “number twenty right?”
“That’s us,” Colin replies, “nice to meet you.”
“You...,” Jensen pauses when he feels the heat of Jared’s hand on his lower back, unable to stop his muscles stiffening at the touch, “you too,” he finally gets out.
“So do you guys need anything else? Plenty to go around,” Jared asks as he slides his hand up Jensen’s back to lightly grip the back of his neck in what feels like a possessive gesture even though it’s probably meant to appear friendly, “Jensen here helped with a lot of the prep, Jay’s little soux chef,” he says with a laugh. Despite his better judgement the teen turns to look at him, caught off guard by the soft smile on his lover’s lips.
“I’m not little,” he grumbles, stepping forward slightly to reach a bottle of Coke, meaning Jared’s hand slips from his neck, “and stop referring to yourself in the third person, Jay, it’s fucking weird.” It comes out a little harsher than he meant and he immediately feels guilty for drawing attention to himself. He turns back to the older man who’s looking at him with a small frown, “Sorry,” he mumbles.
Jared laughs and smiles fondly, again, “So sensitive, you know what I meant. You’ve been a big help, Jen, really, thank you.”
“We’re fine here, Jared,” Colin says in a flat tone, “maybe you should check on your other guests and leave us kids to it.”
Jensen fills the awkward silence by pouring himself a glass of Coke but his hands are sweaty and the bottle slips, spilling the sticky liquid all over the sideboard, “Shit!” he hisses, quickly putting the bottle down on the side, grabbing a handful of kitchen towel to mop up the spill and tossing it in the bin before he ducks down to the cupboard under the sink to pull out the surface spray and a dishcloth. He quickly wets the cloth, sprays the lemon scented liquid onto it and starts cleaning up the counter. It’s only when he’s rinsed the cloth and pulled out a fresh towel from the drawer to dry his hands that he realises that still nobody is speaking. He looks over to see if Jared has left but he’s still there, watching Jensen work, and when he turns to Colin he has a small frown on his face.
“You sure know your way around Jay’s...” he pauses with a small shake of his head, “Jared’s kitchen. Do you spend a lot of time here, Jensen?”
“Uh…” the teen replies, dumbly, saved from thinking up a reasonable answer when Jared speaks up.
“Like I said, he helped a lot with the prep work,” his tone not quite sharp but certainly not friendly, either.
“Right, and the gym thing,” Jensen’s mouth says without his brain’s permission.
“The gym thing?” Colin asks, the frown increasing.
“Yeah, Jared’s letting me use his gym upstairs. I want to put on some muscle mass so he’s helping me get into shape.” he replies, sweeping a hand up and down his body to indicate the obviousness of his slim frame.
Colin blinks a couple of times and his eyes follow Jensen’s motions before he folds his arms over his chest as best he can with a beer bottle in his hand. He looks over at Jared with what’s clearly meant to be a blank expression but fails, mouth pinched and his jaw flexing before he speaks, “Yeah, I’ll just bet he is!” he snorts. He looks back to Jensen, “Just be careful, alright, kid? Sometimes we don’t realise how hard we’re being pushed until it’s too late. You gotta learn your limits and know when to say no...and make sure you do say no.”
Jensen’s heartbeat soars while his stomach does somersaults, surely that can’t mean what he thinks Colin means? Can it?
“Alright, that's enough!” Jared says, leaning over and stretching a long arm in Colin’s direction to fish the beer from his grip, “I think someone had enough of this for today, don't you? Are you even old enough to be drinking, Colin?”
Colin snorts, but releases the bottle, “Oh, I think we can all agree we've all done things we weren't old enough to do, ain't that right Jay?”
All three of them jump at the sound of someone next to them, “Hi guys,” says Kim, brightly, “looks like you three are getting on well!” She looks between them and smiles, patting Colin’s cheek, “it's good to see you making friends at home, honey, maybe now you won't spend so much time on your own.”
“Mom!” Colin hisses, “leave it will you? I'm surrounded by people all the time at college and the coffee shop, I just want a bit of peace and quiet when I come home!” he turns to Jensen and places a large hand on the teen’s shoulder, heat bleeding through the cotton of his t-shirt and Jensen can't help but notice the similarity in size to Jared’s hand, “I'll see you around, kid,” he glances quickly over at Jared before looking back, “come over if you want to talk about anything, yeah?”
“Er, yeah, bye,” Jensen replies with a small nod, feeling both relief and a little distress at Colin’s sudden departure. He wants to hate the man but he also knows they have something in common and it kinda makes the teen want to know more about him...and about Jared’ past with him, because apparently he’s a masochist and needs even more angst.
“I wish he’d spend more time with other people,” Kim says with a sad look on her face, “he used to be such an outgoing boy when he was younger, but of course that was before he…” she pauses, obviously having said more than she should have done, “anyway I guess I should be going too. Thanks again for stepping in, Jared, it was really good of you. This is all amazing. You've set the bar so high you realise the rest of the neighbourhood is going to hate you, now, right?” she teases.
Jared laughs, “My pleasure, and as for setting the bar that's not something I can help I'm afraid. I tend to go a little overboard, people have always called me an overachiever!” he laughs again, the smile on his face fading and turning to a slight frown as he looks at Jensen.
The teen’s stomach has dropped even more, unsure whether it’s coincidence that Jared has just used the word overachiever, or whether he overheard all of Colin and Jensen's conversation without them realising. He takes a deep, steadying breath and puts on the best smile that he can, “I’m gonna get going, too,” on autopilot he reaches up half pats and half strokes Jared's bicep. As soon as he realises what he's done he pulls back quickly as if he's been burnt, hoping nobody but Jared noticed.
Jensen waits for Kim to turn and leave before quickly facing the older man fully, “Thanks for having me over, Jared,” he says in his friendliest tone, completely fake for anyone who might be in earshot, even though his stomach is still wobbly, “See you...whenever.”
Jared looks around the kitchen and when he seems satisfied that no one is looking directly at them he leans down and quietly says, “Is everything OK, sweetheart? You don't seem yourself, you're not coming down with that bug as well are you?”
“I'm fine,” Jensen says snaps, his blood instantly boiling at Jared using the pet name so soon after saying it to Colin, “I'm just tired is all, between you and my dad I've barely had a break this weekend and I still have homework to do.”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” Jared says, disappointment evident on his face. It makes Jensen feel guilty for being the one to put it there, even though he’s currently hurt and angry at the man, “Thanks again for your help, I mean it, Jen, I couldn’t have done this without you.”
The teen nods and offers a tired smile, “Sure, I’m gonna find Dad and tell him I’m leaving.” he gets two steps away before the weight of Jared’s hand is on his shoulder.
“Jen,” he says, quieter still, looking around again, “can you come back later? We’ve hardly had any alone time, I wanna hold you.”
Jensen swallows the lump in his throat, “I don’t think so, like I said, homework. I need an early night.”
The older man nods and sighs, “I get it, sorry, guess I just wanted some proper time with you. I miss you when you’re not around.”
He looks totally dejected and despite his turmoil Jensen wants nothing more than to throw himself into the man’s arms for a hug that would comfort them both, but instead makes a quick exit, his head spinning and his heart aching.
§
It’s been four nights of barely any sleep for Jensen and he’s running on empty, both physically and emotionally. He missed his Tuesday gym session with Jared without explanation and has so far successfully managed to avoid the man, but knows that can’t last forever. His mom has told him Jared called around earlier when Jensen should have been home from school to check in on him and the teen promised her he’d apologise to Jared for not telling him he wasn’t going for their regular evening slot. He’s due there tonight, too, but he’s made his mind up that there’s something he needs to do first before he can face Jared again.
The after school crowd has died down in the coffee shop across town, Jensen made sure to take his time walking there for that very reason, the less people the better. When he enters the shop Colin is behind the counter as expected. Kim was more than happy to share what time his shift ended when Jensen saw her in the driveway this morning and asked after him, seemingly delighted that they must have hit it off at the barbeque enough to hang out. He takes a couple of deep breaths and approaches the counter.
Colin finishes serving the customer in front and turns his head, customer service smile plastered on his face, “Hi, what can I get for…,” the smile changes to a confused look, “Jensen, er, hi… what are you doing here?”
The teen licks his dry lips and swallows the nervous lump in his throat, “Hey, I was hoping we could hang out…maybe talk,” he replies, speeding up when it looks like Colin’s going to object, “after your shift, I mean. Your mom said you finish at five thirty, I can get a table and wait. It’s no problem, I brought a book with me.”
Colin’s face takes on a frustrated look, “Of course she did,” he sighs, “why would she ever stay out of my business?” he shakes his head, “Sorry, man, not your fault.”
“That’s OK,” Jensen replies, “I guess I shouldn't have just shown up here, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry,” he gestures to the door behind him, “I can just go.”
“No, no, it’s fine, just caught me by surprise is all,” Colin says with a small smile, “truth be told it’s nice to see a friendly face around here. What can I get you, Jensen?”
The teen feels a huge sense of relief at Colin’s reaction and offers him a small smile which the man returns, “Large Americano, black with extra shot, please,” he looks over the selection of cakes and pastries, “uh, what’s good?” he asks, spoilt for choice.
“Everything,” Colin laughs, patting his belly, “too good. The blueberry muffins are my favourite, though.”
Jensen’s stomach wobbles and he feels his face go pale as he immediately thinks of Jared feeding him the batter mix in his kitchen and he shakes his head, “No, absolutely not.”
Colin frowns slightly but says nothing about Jensen’s reaction, “In that case I’d say go for the Tiramisu muffin, it’ll go well with your coffee.”
“Sure, that sounds good,” Jensen replies, digging money out of his pocket and putting it on the counter while Colin puts the muffin that looks like it has the most frosting onto a plate, then puts the plate on a tray.
“Take a seat, I’ll fetch it over when the coffee’s ready.”
Forty five minutes later Jensen looks up from his book at the sound of someone approaching the table. Colin holds up a set of keys, “Wanna go for a drive, take the long way home?”
The teen nods, feeling grateful that they won’t have to rush, “Yeah, that’d be good.”
Colin drives them to some old, abandoned warehouses Jensen didn’t even know were there, shuts off the engine and shifts in his seat so he’s turned towards the teen, “I come out here when I need to think, it’s peaceful.”
“Kinda creepy, too,” Jensen replies with an amused smile.
Colin laughs and nods his head, “I guess so, hadn’t really thought about it. Don’t worry, I won’t get the ghosts or serial killers get you!”
The teen laughs at that despite the building nerves and swirling in this stomach, “Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” Colin replies, his smile turning into a serious look, “I’m guessing this is about Jared?”
Jensen nods and looks away, momentarily, “Yeah,” he replies, voice rough where his throat feels like it’s closing up a little, “it’s pretty obvious you two have history.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me anything,” the teen says, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans, “well not as such, I, uh… I overheard your conversation at the barbeque, didn’t take a genius to put two and two together,” he looks over at Colin again who’s pressing his lips together and nodding, “I mean he mentioned in the past that he was with someone for a long time five years ago who he cared deeply about, so…” he waves a hand in the man’s direction, “had to be you.”
“He ‘cared deeply’ about me?” Colin shakes his head derisively, “yeah, right. Funny way of showing it, didn’t even bother himself to come and check on me, the whole town knew I was in hospital but he didn’t a fuck,” he spits. He rubs his forehead and lets out a sigh, staring out of the window for what feels like forever before he turns back to Jensen with an imploring look on his face, “Jensen, listen to me, I don’t know how much bullshit he’s fed you but you can’t listen to him. He’s bad news, he’ll say anything to get what he wants and he doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.”
The teen’s heart feels like it’s trying to escape from his throat, “You were in hospital? What happened?” he asks, ignoring Colin’s other words for the time being.
Colin closes his eyes and rests his head back on the seat, his chest rising and falling quickly until he gets his breathing under control. When he looks back at Jensen there are tears in his eyes, “You have to understand, I’d just turned fifteen when we split and he was my whole world, he’s an expert in making it feel that way. When he left I didn’t see any point in carrying on…” he tails off, undoing the straps of the thick leather cuff on his left wrist to show a faded but clear scar, approximately four inches long up his arm, “I was young and stupid, I’m not proud of it,” he finishes with a sad smile.
“Holy shit!” Jensen gasps, stunned at what he’s seeing, “I’m...I can’t imagine how awful that must have been,” his chest aches for Colin despite barely knowing him, nobody should feel so in pain that they only see one end to it, “wait,” he says as something clicks into place, “he knew about this?” when he gets a nod in response he shakes his own head, “No, no, I don’t believe that. Jared may not be perfect but he’s not that cruel, I’m sure of it!”
“Oh my God, Jensen, do you think I’d lie about something like that?” Colin practically shouts, “This is what he does, he makes you believe he’s a good guy when really he’s a heartless, manipulative monster who preys on who knows how many teenagers like you and me? Let me guess, you’re what, fourteen or fifteen...obviously a virgin, probably never been kissed or touched until he came along? I bet he’s told you he wants you even though he knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist you, right? Told you he’s not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, that he cares about you too much to push you into anything...that you have to ask him for what you want him to ‘teach’ you… am I close?”
With every word coming out of Colin’s mouth Jensen feels more sick, heart thumping in his chest and temples, his stomach rolling, a cold sweat of panic forming on his skin. He tries to speak but he’s lost for words, so he just nods. He feels tears slip down his cheeks as he tries to get air into his lungs, breath hitching as he does. He feels numb and a little dizzy. He blinks out of his daze when he feels Colin’s thumb brushing away his tears.
“I’m so sorry, Jensen,” Colin says, softly, a look of sad disappointment in his eyes, obviously taking no pleasure in being right, “if I’d said something sooner you wouldn’t be in this situation. That’s why you need to know what he’s really like. As soon as I saw you I just knew you were just his type,” he keeps stroking the teen’s cheek, “those big, trusting eyes...that mouth…” he pulls his hand away, “you’re beautiful, of course he couldn’t help himself. It doesn’t make it right, though, you understand that, don’t you?”
Jensen nods even though his mind is racing, screaming no even though everything Colin is saying rings true. They sit in silence while Jensen tries to gather his thoughts, “What do we do now?”
“That depends on you.” Colin replies, “Can I ask you how far things have gone between you?”
“What?” Jensen asks, shocked, “You mean like details?”
“God no,” Colin replies, looking aghast, “dude, that’s not what I’m asking. Well, I am but not for my own interests...I mean have you, you know, gone all the way? If you haven’t then there’s still time to walk away before he does any more damage, or to…” he trails off.
“To what?” Jensen asks, frowning.
Colin sighs and grips the steering wheel, “To gather evidence against him, if that’s what you wanted to do. He can’t keep getting away with it, Jensen. If you…” he looks away, swallowing audibly before turning back, “if you can be braver than me and go to the Police, put a stop to it. I can back you up, there’s a pattern. It’s all historical for me but you, you can make sure they catch him in the act now before he dumps you and moves onto another victim.”
“I’m not a victim!” Jensen grits, feeling a surge of anger at the word, “I can’t do that to him… I don’t want to do that, it’s not…”
“It’s not what? Not fair? Do you think it’s fair for him to use vulnerable people for his own sick desires, break their hearts and not give a shit?”
“He does give a shit, he cares about me,” Jensen replies, defiantly, refusing to believe that everything Jared has told him has been lies, “how do I know you’re not the one lying to me, huh? He’s told me about you, he told me he thought he loved you. You were different, he was fucked up when things ended. Did you know there’s not been anyone else since you until now?” he raises his voice even as Colin opens his mouth to speak, “He’s told me there have been others before me. Why would he incriminate himself like that if he was such a monster? Did he tell you about the others?” he’s almost out of breath, “Well? Did he make out that you were the only one?”
“No, he didn’t tell me anything, I figured it out because that’s what predators do, Jensen, there’s never just one,” Colin says, his tone full of exasperation, “maybe he’s just got cocky and wanted to brag which is all the more reason to go to the Police now, you can tell them everything he’s told you. You might be able to get more details from his past...people like him don’t change, Jensen, he’ll keep doing it until he’s stopped.”
The teen is having trouble catching his breath. His head is all over the place, unsure what to believe, Colin sounds so sincere, but then so did Jared. He doesn’t know what to think, who to believe and he feels like a fool for being torn like this. He takes some deep breaths, trying to calm his mind as well his body so that he can think clearer, “Take me home,” he says, eventually. Colin looks like he’s going to argue, but after a while nods and start the engine.
Neither of them speak another word until they pull up outside Jensen’s house, then it’s Colin who breaks the silence, “Are you going to tell your parents? Do you want me to be there when you do?” he asks softly.
The teen’s mind has been running through scenarios in his head for the duration of the drive and he’s made his mind up, “I’m not doing anything until I’ve spoken to Jared.” he says, evenly.
“Are you fucking crazy? Jensen, he’s just going to manipulate you some more, don’t let him do it! Come on, man, you’re smarter than that!”
Against all rational thought Jensen feels strangely calm, “My mind is made up,” he says, simply, opening the car door and not looking back.
He sits through dinner with his family, makes small talk with them until it’s time to shower and head next door for his scheduled gym time with Jared. Only when he’s standing outside the man’s door does he start to feel anxious again, but right now he doesn’t feel angry even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should be.
The look of relief on Jared’s face when he opens the door is the only thing that makes the teen’s step falter, slightly. Once inside he walks straight into the kitchen and stands in the middle of the room, waiting for Jared to trail behind him. Long arms pull him into a tight hug, the older man’s hand threading into Jensen’s hair, holding him in place.
“God I missed you, Jen, it’s been a really long week.” Jared says in between pressing kisses to his temple. When the teen doesn’t respond in any way he pulls back, a look of confusion clear on his face, “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, lifting a hand to touch Jensen’s face but the teen stops him by gripping his wrist.
“How many virgins have you talked into your bed, Jared? Did you leave them all a broken mess like you did Colin? Is that what you plan on doing to me? And don’t you fucking dare lie to me.”
.