I’ve finally been freed from the EBF stationery cupboard if I agreed to watch all of Goldibollocks London Mayoral campaign videos and read all the daily Email’s/begging letters coming from said mayor/emperor/High priest/Prime Minister/Dictator (delete as appropriate) and after doing this I have this to report..’
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa
So Goldilocks, Screechy and a whole host of biffers are after the London vote using the “voice” they have been given by the media to put out a joke party political broadcast, and issue some tatty election pamphlets along with their equivalent of the Sun newspaper (both equally discredited and hated amongst the majority of this fine country). In it they tell us how they will get Britain out of the EU and stop immigration, amongst others, both of which the London Mayor and assembly have no say on whatsoever. They seem to be libelling, slandering and being downright racist to the bookies favourite who treats them like something you pick up of the bottom of your shoe after an errant dog owner left it on the pavement. He also once again takes an ex-soldier and uses him in his nasty propaganda. Again this is against the wishes of his family and again the biffer lie that there is no memorial to him. There is. It’s what the family wanted, where the family wanted it to be. Once again we won’t name him as the last thing his relatives want is for him him to become the battlefield in a political ‘tug of war’.
A day out in Bexley Heath handing out faaasands of leaflets was videoed and photographed. Nothing about this leads me to believe that anyone wants anything to do with Goldibollocks and his tawdry little party. They have already had both barrels from the written media describing the campaign as a car crash.

The radio broadcast they were permitted was a 30 second recording, the TV broadcast 5 minutes of absolute comedy and still they aren’t happy. We’ve seen the full version of the broadcast Goldibollocks wanted and no wonder the Beeb and ITV told them no. Usually after a broadcast a party’s showing in the polls jumps, this time it didn’t. I checked Comres before and a couple of days later (you need to do something while perched on the loo). The votes for Goldibollocks for London Mayor stayed at 1% and the seats in the assembly, where in my view they were really putting their faith,a big fat zero.
So then to the daily begging bowl, sorry Emails, to their supporters asking them to “chip in” to raise the £20 faaaasand needed to reach even more Londoners with their bullshit and lies. With just (as I write) 8 days to go even if they meet the target it will be too late. It seems to us here that a good holiday will be in order after the campaign and spending money for Screechy’s addiction will be getting a boost from the gullible disciples.
So here’s a thing Goldibollocks and Screechy, Pieman Steve, Chief of Staff Lomax, Sargeant, and the rest of your high command, here’s some advice from a Landlord who used to live and work in London. I’ll even give it to you for free, although the team could do with some hobnobs (the coffers are bare and Sainsbury’s own just don’t taste the same)
1) if you really want to become mayor and Screechy a member of the assembly, don’t fuck off around half of the London electorate with racism and lies. In one of the most diverse and multi cultural cities in the world the voters won’t really like it..
2) When a family of a murdered man asks you not to use his memory to further your racist, islamaphobic aims, don’t. It pisses a lot of people off and a lot of these pissed off people will be voters.
3) when slagging off the favourite for the Mayoral job (Not you Goldibollocks, not you) don’t use his religion against him or at least if you do get your facts right. Whether a bloke is Muslim, Christian, Athiest, Hindu or whatever, fight him on his policies. Oh scratch this one, you haven’t got any policies that affect Londoners just the same old shit that you purvey on your Social Media page.

4) when you lose, when Screechy loses, when your family loses and you all lose your deposits, blame the media, the establishment, the people that don’t fall for your cack and us (and other pages like us) fuck off, pack up your bollocks and close up. It is a show that this is Britain, a Britain that I want to live in, with Naz Hussain next door to me and George Shah just down the road, with the little old lady at number 21 who Naz helps with her garden, with Jeff, one of my locals, from Trinidad, who loves talking to me about my love of Cricket and warm beer, with Steve the local white Van man who hates life but loves all the mates at the pub and finally with the followers of Exposing Britain first who see through your lies at every turn.
This is my advice to you, this is my wish. That after you lose and are humiliated at the elections you go away and leave the sensible silent majority alone. I may even be minded to “chip in” to help.
Cheers



Given that except for Jayda every BF candidate this May is either a relative or neighbour of your mother – this is just ‘jobs for the boys’ style nepotism isn’t it?







The landlady and the kids are with the in-laws and I’m left here drinking the profits and suffering from a dose of fash fatigue. Being an admin on Exposing Britain First and the constant cases of islamophobic bullshit from the Fuhrer bunker does get us down. The bombs in Belgium are hard to stomach with wall to wall media coverage, security experts telling us what is happening even though it’s just conjecture and the arses in Bifferland lapping it up and providing the propaganda they need to play on the fears of already scared people. The right wing newspapers and our wonderful TV news stations helping them with their recruitment.
With that out of the way (but not forgotten) back to the Fuhrer and his high command. Steve Lewis arrested and bailed for wearing a political uniform had us in stitches. Poor old Pieman, losing a banner last year, being moved down the pecking order in the shittrooper numbers, having to do the seemingly dodgy accounts on a 60’s typewriter and leader of the South East Brigade and now nicked. Steve is one of the more articulate Biffers but even he has slowly been indoctrinated into Bifferdom and writes more and more religious claptrap. We know he reads the page so Steve, hope you enjoyed the 16 hours in the cells. We hope you will be trusted enough to hold the banners again.


Now I’ve calmed down a bit and the Landlady has gone to the cash and carry, I can report on two of the many things that have made me chortle this week. Firstly the video report of Goldibollocks in the “new Britain First TV studio” (in fact a £15 app from shuttlecock but allow them their delusions of grandeur) telling us how Dewsbury was going to be the biggest (cock up) demo of all time. Once again I couldn’t watch it all (don’t tell Prole or Kit or my hobnob ration will be severely curtailed) but let my fellow EBFers rip it apart. I can’t watch their video’s or “TV” appearances as they usually turn up on the days a certain barmaid works and I would be divorced pdq.
















