It has come to my attention that because of all the nice people around here who give us free room and board (thank you, all of you) I don't really have much need for the money I've been making ... and I've decided...

I want to donate it to charities!

... but I'm sorry, I only have so much money, so I want everyone to come to me here right now and explain to me why you need charitable donations!  M-maybe we can make a ... benefit concert to raise more funds...