Nomad's Journal

12:41am: I just read that it is superbowl sunday. This makes me miss the Amazon Slam very much ATM as Ren always scheduled an event opposite the superbowl. I miss all the women, the great words and the courage that was displayed by so many.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

10:52pm: Forced Out
I was forced out of my favorite campsite by a group of trap shooters. They set up their drop zone across the campsite instead of off to the side as folks usualy do. They then proceed to drop a ton of lead all across the site, especially in the area where I would park & set up. Target shooting is illegal here. 8(

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

4:04am: Sounds like a rough situation
for sure.

rainbowdefensefund.wordpress.com

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

6:29am: I Just Laugh
For quite some time whenever a stranger addresses me with a pronoun, I just laugh. Some of this is me thinking how stupid all of this is. The other part is knowing that the stranger had to go through some sort of process to reach their particular conclusion. Depending on the attitude of the stranger in question, there may also be a bit of f-u embodied in my laughter.

Of course, the heavy duty silicone respirator mask I must wear whenever I am in public adds a certain air of mystery and also forces many to wind through their decision tree regarding whether I am a robber or a terrorist.

2:13am: Winter Driftin
The tough part of winter is coming, nights that get well down into the 20s and days frequently too chilly to really bathe outdoors.  There are few places safe enough to camp due to smoke and agricultural spraying.  I will have to hide in the hills and ride it out.

My friends B & A are selling their house here to go back east.  They have been good friends and I will miss them even though I have not seen them that much. The only time I usually see people is when I buy food or go to the doctor.  B & A's is the only place I have been able to take a real shower or use a washing machine in more than a couple of years except for those few months when I had a place. Even if I only got to do those things every month or two, it was an important form of support. I also have a few of my possessions that I can't keep with me in the car stored in their house. I have to find a home for those things fast. I have had to let go of a lot just to survive. Not planning to loose anything else that isn't dead weight.

I really don't want to be out here. It is beautiful but way too isolated and lonely. Don't even have words for how much I miss all of you back home. Still, I believe that a major reason that I am able to maintain my independence is because I can avoid many of the things that make me even more ill. If I do manage to get indoors here, I don't know if my life will be worth the effort. No matter where I end up, I will have to live in in a bubble...*shrug*  At least in some places out in the country here I can be outside without a mask.

12:01pm: One too many a$$h0|@s
Once again, someone declared to me "I could never live like you do". Someone who should know better. Someone faced with many of the same health issues that I face but who happens to have a home and a supportive family. Someone who went on to elaborate and in doing so panned a whole bunch of us who have lost our homes or not been able to find safe housing. This person's response was not an appropriate answer to the question I had asked.

I don't like being kicked when I am down. That privilege is usually reserved for immediate family members who have honed that skill to high art. I don't like getting s*it for trying to survive.

10:54pm: Best laid plans
Been sick as heck for a few days so I ate early, set up car and mosquito netting. went through evening routine ready to bolt if anyone lit a fire. no camp fires-yay! It was going to be an easy night. Right?

Bunch of loud drunks in the picnic area behind my space starts to get real loud - sounded like a bunch of juicer boys - testosterone overdose has a distinctive beat and they tried to pick a fight with every person that went near them and a few trees for good measure. Some folks tried to get them to quiet down which created some pretty loud, boring and predictable banter. I just hoped to ride it out and was extra careful when I went out to seek relief. Heard some faggot talk but who could tell who they were talking to -shrug. Just getting ready to crash when they lit a very smoky fire - just fucking around or were they messing with me.. who knows they could see me wearing my mask - more shrugs. People in the area have seen me in my genderqueered and masked glory for a while. could only break camp and get out as fast as possible - I'm quite ill from it. I and my stuff are all smoky as heck - bad news as that alone makes me sick. in the past I was unable to stay in an area that had burned over five years ago...

When campers have fires I can usually find a 'safe from smoke' place out in the park to crash. There is much more danger from people out there and I sure am not staying out there with those jerks at large. So here I sit in a McD's parking lot well past my bedtime, ill and experiencing a mini exile within my exile.

flying away. it is closed and empty here making me a target for jerks or police.

6:29pm: suckness
Environmental Illness sucks
Homelessness sucks
Being dirty and sweat drenched a lot of the time sucks
Ignorant doctors suck
Waiting forever for things that should be quick and easy sucks
Assholes who steal credit card numbers suck
Enough for now

I need a new icon too

9:34am: Desperate for Camping Gear
Thought I would have another month here, time enough to order gear and do a first pass at outgassing but I face instant homelessness due to road construction. If you have any old non-moldy gear that you could contribute or sell real cheap, please post so I can get right back to you. Looks like everyone I know is out of town so this is likely a useless appeal. I need a tent, sleeping bag and ground pad at a minimum. - THANKS

2:19pm: I need to hire a geek
I need to hire a geek who can get the data off my computer and various hard drives (all parallel ide/ata) that I have and put it all onto usb drives for me. Person must have LINUX, Windows and basic hardware understanding. I can explain in detail exactly what I want done but I am unable to do it myself because I have been ill and not had a stable place to live. A friend has all of my gear and I can arrange to have it handed off in a number of locations in the Greater Boston area.

Please let me know if you can help with this.

Thanks,
Auntie

3:51pm: ...or an apartment
At this point I am also looking at apartment possibilities. If anyone knows of anything like a studio or a 1 bedroom, please let me know.

Thanks,
Auntie

12:31pm: I still need a room
I like seeing my friends. I think sometimes they like seeing me. Still, couch surfing is getting old. I need a more stable situation. Any leads? An ideal setup would be some place where I could have my cat with me.

Save me before I run away and join {insert favorite cult name here}.

11:01pm: Housing Wanted - rental room or studio
I need a safe room to stay in/rent for an indeterminate amount of time while some repair is being done at my current home. You see, I am a person who has been living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity and a number of related conditions for many years. This is one of the reasons you don't see me around much at events etc.

Anyway, I had been having a lot more trouble in recent months and finally tracked it down to a situation at my current house that needs to be fixed. I have been making progress toward that goal while couch surfing between a couple of places, one much safer and comfortable than the other. Still, I really need a place to settle in while I get my home squared away or find a new long term situation for myself.

I can get by with a small space or a larger one, I am pretty independent and do have regular income. It is important that it be a place that is potentially relatively safe for a person with MCS so if you just painted, use lots of perfume, scented laundry and cleaning products, pesticides and such, then your place is probably not for me.

If you have something or have any leads, please contact me ASAP. I really can't afford to to burn out my few friends by continuing to camp out and I am tired of living out of grocery bags.

Thanks,
Auntie

4:46am: Irregular Reminder
99% of my LJ is friends only. If you want to risk rejection in order to read the runoff from my mental storm drains, let me know.

10:11am: TONIAMATO'S workshop cancelled tonight
"NO WORKSHOP TONIGHT

I am sorry to announce this, but THERE WILL BE NO WORKSHOP TONIGHT! I've got a terrible stomach flu. Please shere this information with anyone you know who might be coming tonight."

7:01pm: Voted, I did. In public, even.
And my local rep who is evil and closed minded so I've given up arguing with him was running unopposed. I marked the write in oval and wrote in 'Anyone Else' just because I had no other alternative.

5:55am: It's Time
I'll leave this as a rare public post even though it means coming out of the closet...

5:55AM Sunday! It's almost Jack Van Impe time

Maybe it will all be over soon

4:11am: Computers
I hate computers, every stinking pile of parts hat manages to mess up and corrupt every piece of work I attempt to do. grrrrrrr I who once got paid gobs o cash to make these thins do my masters bidding, am now wasting tons of time. just attempting to perform everyday tasks. No mater what pieces I throw together or software, I run, disaster occurs with great frequency lately.

Edit/Update: Please keep your mouse clickin fingers crossed for a new set of boot-time options. Could this be the balm that cures my balminess?

3:06am: Bitten
So it just took me an hour to get this wonderful pile of c**p to boot after spending hours last night/morning building it and putting an OS on - still does not have my programs or data. It is a good thing I am the type to keep all my passwords memorized.

I am having bad tech karma lately for sure -yeah bitch bitch bitch, I know but for a couple of weeks the time for me to start a computer and send an email or do a couple of things is always measured in hours.

4:15am: So when do you win?
Well, tonight found me in the gender free/single bathroom in the store where all the workers wear red. I had been harassed a couple of times in the regular women's bathroom a couple of times before I discovered the single at the other end of the store.

Tonight I was trying to not take too much time since sometimes a short line does form for the single. Still, it does take a while to deface and try to eradicate the swastikas cut into the paint. I just could not let them stand unmolested tonight, even if they still showed clearly through the crosshatching I made with my sharp object.

Definately been flashing back to travels in Germany, Poland and a few other places, probably triggered by the writing of a fellow journaler who is traveling in those parts.

I have been overheated, underslept and totally bitchy.

An appy polly loggy to read_alicia for being such an auntie-sunshine earlier. To the cold shower...

4:58am: more sunday night drama
Nasty gestures and curled lip sneer from a guy with his buddies in a booth at the ihop. These jerks get bold when they travel in groups, like the bikers I mentioned in that unfinished, friends only, post that someday I may finish or transform into a slam piece.

I am schitzo about the post locking thing but will leave this open since it is finally a cool night and maybe this will bore you to sleep.

BTW ihop sucks - much less food for much more money - What? No toast or taters with your eggs, screw that.

2:55am: Gee one of my computers has been up for more than 5 minutes
Amazing

2:42am: Interview with a Sun of San Pedro
Background:
paraphrased from
The Encyclopedia of Psychoactive Substances

The San Pedro cactus is the name given to psychoactive species of the genus Trichocereus...it contains mescaline, as does the well-known peyote cactus. The San Pedro cactus has also been found to have other psychoactive alkaloids.


Interview with a Sun of San Pedro

I am pounding damp plains
hooves pounding damp plains
South of sweet grass
meets openness too big

Lenses magnify
jawbone lenses
shrink rings of trees

Some thing lies
under matrix of cracked tibia
We can dance broken
invoke old directives about pain
Not told it's the fear of death
till orbits close toward immolation

He sees butterflies
believes he is climbing to gods
He's a brown skinned dervish rage
spinning break-beats to Mexico's mountains
Equatorial stairway to stars
always he neckcranes distant fires

I forget to ask if he knows their names
to call down sky striding deities
passing tongue to touch stones

His fists ball
on visits to northern cities
calling martyrs
to be crushed in dusty palm lines
Like universal consent to rape
could extinguish
our instinct to torment

He stutters and speaks
of spiraling levels
Tongue butterflies, magma's just a
push pause button
to molecular evils
Always ancient, always ancient
they back doored Gaia
before she passed to
tall grass and water

Some summer nights
he is medusa burn
tentacles to wrap
Siddhartha's glowing face
Some summer nights
he is unable to pause and draw
a single breath

.

3:43am: FYI
This laser level tilts wildly my sanity
Be it portent of more (semi) public words,
a return to persistent blather,
then much may be locked
to the unfriended
Lurker, come and state your case
or spare yourself
This shit don't matter

10:31pm: I don't know if this quote is real
but it did make me stop for a sec.

"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989