well i guess that's it then

maybe i am dead

but i hope to revive in 3 days

i swear

not much going on.

got a few ideas floating around my head for fics, some tf2, some l4d.

the one i really wanna work on involves the admin and ms. pauling but i feel like even if i write it it'll get like no views because it's not about scout getting 8 penises simultaneously shoved up his anus.

so, it wasn't smart to put the computer into sleep mode before i laid down. i realize this now, it was running for nearly 16 hours, it probably should've been turned off. i turned the monitor back on once i got up and the computer was telling me 'no response.'

i had to fucking restart the thing 3 times for it to take, and now since i didn't reboot the 'normal' way, i have to defragment and all that good shit to make it run faster than a snail.

i don't need this, the reason i was laying down in the first place was because i had a headache. but life sees fit to you know, give me another within the first 5 minutes of me being conscious. i think the reason i got the first one was because i had soda yesterday for like the first time in (years?) and i really can't stand it anymore but there was nothing else to drink and lol, we're poor so. i'm not sure how caffeine withdrawal works, but i'm pretty sure you might get a headache from it.

and surprise, there's nothing to eat in the house again. and i'm almost out of acid reflux medication and lol, we're poor.

edit: i don't remember when i used fapping or hell in my entries, why are those tags still there.

why do i tell my mother i like something when i know that's all she'll buy for the next week.

i liked this cinnamon roll pudding but not enough to eat four more packages of it. it's just going to sit in the fridge for months.

then i'll open the fridge and be like, "hmm... when did she buy this. was it two weeks ago? screw it, i'm not taking any chances." and throw it out.

i waste a lot of food. why can't i just have a magical oven that makes whatever i crave at that exact moment. also i wanted to hack maple but apparently there's no vaccum hacks that work on jumping monsters so that's a giant pain in the ass since every map that doesn't have jumping monsters has these fucking aliens that i can't even hit until like level 50.

my life is tough.

I'd like to go in my sleep.

Failing that, a manner that's peaceful/painless and wouldn't leave a mess.

The usual, not being able to face my fears and dying alone in this house. Losing the friends I've made online due to not talking to them like I did with my 'real life' friends. I'd like to hope I'll overcome them, it's been plaguing me for more than 2 years now.

I'm a terrible person.

So, the other day, I woke up with a sore throat. Nothing new, I'm used to getting them from sleeping with my air conditioning on and breathing through my mouth. It's now nearly a week later and I've still got the sore throat, as well as a feeling that I'm about to start spitting up stomach acid (slight exaggeration there, but acid reflux sucks so much). My ears feel like they're clogging up and I'm coughing/losing my voice.

I'm fanatically checking my temperature and no sign of a fever, so wtf self. Do I have a cold or what? I hate sore throats, feels like I need to constantly be drinking something to get rid of the feeling, which leads to an over-abundance of peeing.

Ugh, I know I'm full of empty promises, but I'll try to write out a drabble that I've been planning out soon. It involves Nick getting drunk, that's all you need to know. I don't know if I want it to have sex or not, probably not though.