http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/abbottmug1.html

Paranoia is an illness I contracted in institutions. It is not the reason for my sentences to reform school and prison. It is the effect, not the cause.
When they say”what doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger,” that is what they mean. But it’s a mistake to equate the results with being strong. I’m extremely flexible, but I’m NOT STRONG. I’m weakened, in fact. I’m tenuous, shy, introspective, and suspicious of everyone. A loud noise or a false movement registers like a four-alarm fire in me. BUT I’M NOT AFRAID-AND THAT IS STRANGE, because I care very much about someday being set free and I want to cry when I think that I’ll never be free. I want to cry for my brothers I’ve spent a lifetime with. Someday I will leave them and never return………
JACK HENRY ABBOTT…..IN THE BELLY OF THE BEAST ****