emillem

I was very intrigued at how un-normal me and my bestfriend talked. I mean, I thought it was normal but a normal person would think we, or more likely me, was totally insane and consisted of some mental disorder.... Well,whatever. But I decided to write a conversation, relatively normal conversation. I am noted as "M" and she as "S". (S stands for Sophie because thats her name. Actually her name is Sophie Galafaro but I shouldn't tell you that because you might hunt her down, but nobody even reads this damn thing so nevermind.) So here's our convo:

M: I'm on my period
S: Oh god, well that's not good
M: It hurts, Sophie
S: It hurts? Hmph, it's not supposed to hurt?!
M: Cramps.
S: Oh umm take some Midol?
M: I'm visiting my grandparents right now.
S: Take Advil? Haha, old people always have Advil
M: I'll ask in a minute
S: I bet you that they'll have it
M: We'll see
S: Yes we will! Imma be right
M: Hush up
S: I was right wasn't I?
M: I haven't asked yet
S: PROCRASTINATOR
M: No, this books is just  really good
S: Procrastinating
M: Really good book
S: Procrastinating
M: It's called Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
S: PROCRASTINATION
M: NO FRIGGIN WAY
S: No need for caps
M: MAYBE I LIKE IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL EMPOWERED
S: I am she woman, hear me rawr
M: Women don't rawr because only dino's roar. If you wanted to roar efficiently you'd have to do it in all caps like this: RRRRAAAWWWWRRR
S: Your so special.

~After boring conversation I decided to ramble, and this is what happens when I ramble. Also, Ambner is my boyfriend. You will see how this is useful later on. Ps, his name is pronounced Abner, the 'm' is silent. And he's a normal human being thanks for asking, and I happen to like his name so eff off if you don't. Anyways, here we go.

M: I want... dick. No wait I take that back. Well actually no, I mean I like dick, I don't like vagina because I'm not gay. And I don't want dick, unless it's Ambner's dick. Well I mean I don't want it to randomly appear in front of me, I'd want him with it. Wait no, I just want him, with or without his dick. It depends.
S: WHAT?!
M: What? Nothing.
S: You're talking about Ambner's dick?
M: No I wasn't.
S: Yes you were.
M: They don't have Advil.
S: Ugh, well you finally asked
M: Told you.
S: Oh fine I admit it you were right
M: Whoa, you just admitted you were wrong and I was right. This is a historic moment.
S: Oh shush up. I can admit it when I'm wrong
M: No you can't. Actatually, yeah you can. I just accidentally insulted you and basically said your wrong a lot. I'm sorry. It's just thats true you do admit when your wrong, and that why I said you can really quickly because I remembered all the times you did say I was right in one moment, and I remember you telling me I was always right so I really shouldn't be shocked that you just admitted you were wrong because you do that a lot. Nevermind.
S: Yeah I can totally tell your pmsing.

~ Then we got into this hilarious conversation about not having tampons but I figured you wouldn't want to here that, femal or not, or a transie, but if your a transie sorry for sayinng transie because I realize that may be offensive, but then again nobody reads this damn thing so nevermind.

~ After we talked about tampons and toilet paper, we got talking about this guy and this other guy, but that's not all that interesting that's when things actually get serious. Basically, the guy she loves was sad because the guy she dated before him, well, they did stuff together and he heard about it and was kind of upset. So this was advice to her:

M: Just tell him you did acid.
S: The drugs impaired my judgement.
M: Yeah, just tell him someone slipped you some acid.
S: Haha, I was on LSD
M:  It's a perfect plan.
S: I'm a druggie.
M: Let's be linked by drugs forever. Come on, just tell him you were fucked up when you and whats-his-face did stuff.
S: Okay, what a great idea. (This is sarcasm)
M: Well everyone knows you get insane hallucinations from acid, so you thought you fucked this dude because he had a gun to your head or take it a step further and be like I met this morphed up octopi that was holding my mom hostage and in order to save my mom I had to fuck the octupi. And in retrospect the ocupi was the guy and, hell, I don't know what the mom would symbolize.
S: Yeah that's true.

~ I love how she ignored my whole scenario.

Okay, well some people wear no makeup. That's good. And I didn't wear makeup for the longest time, I would say I was "natural". But then I wanted  to try it out. I liked it, and from there it began to root. Now I know how to do professional eye makeup - I know the tricks, I know how to make my eyes look GREAT.

Most people assume people wear makeup because they think they look ugly. That they want to look sexier, hotter, prettier. Or that they're insecure. That's not true! I wear makeup for various reasons, and this is NOT one.

1. I love putting it on - I love experimenting with makeup to see how it plays out, what eye design looks best with you.
2. I'm dramatic - I like making impressions, I want a dramatic impression. My eyes match my personality.
3. It's complimenting - Yeah, I'm not going to lie, it looks good! If it looked ugly, would I really wear it?
4. I love my eyes - I love my eyes, so why not make them pop a bit more? So I'm the opposite of insecure.

You might think I'm selfish. No, I just like eye makeup. So what?

      Thawck.
      It was the sound of a hard object contacting with bone. The echo of splintering bones sent chills up my spine. Raiders were everywhere, swinging their black, shiny batons into people's skulls.  
      I could be next.
      Instinctively, I started to run and panic like everyone else. There was no order, expect maybe the  Raiders, who were trying to corner us. I whirled my head around, desperately searching the crowd for an escape. To my luck, a couple of strides away was a staircase, possibly leading to a way out. I decided to take my chances, so I bolted for it.
     One... two... I'm so close... four - I gasped, a body slamming into me, an incredible weight thrashing into the ground. I coughed, trying to regain the air I lost. I tried heaving the body off of me, but it was useless. Thankfully, the body was lifted, and I was temporarily relieved. Until I saw who had lifted him off from me.
      A Raider gripped the collar of the person who was knocked into me; a man, well built with stacks of muscles. But despite that, his eyes were full of terror, wide and innocent-looking. The Raider slammed the man into a group of people, and that group of people toppled over into other people. It was like a game of dominos for the Raider, and it made me sick to my stomach.
      I needed to stand up. Being pinned to the ground would surely get me killed with all these people frantically running around, like chickens who'd lost their heads. Maybe they weren't the problem, maybe it was the Raiders, with their steel-toed, large combat boots, dragging tons of body muscle.
      I pushed my body up with my arms, but was hit in the shoulder by a pair of legs. A woman tripped over me, her hands frailing out in front of her in a dailed attempt to catch herself. I tried again, quicker, but my head collided with that of another runner, forcing me back down to the ground. That left one option. Crawl.
     I began dragging my body on the hard floor, my elbows driving into the brute ground, my knees scraping against its gritty surface. Finally, the skin peeling of my elbows and no doubt scratches on my knees, I grabbed hold of the banister. My relied only lasted a split second.
     A combat boot stomped on my ankle, a symphony of cracks playing out. The pain crawled up my calf and leg. Black splintered my vision as my brain registered what happened, trying to reboot. I wanted to scream out, but I kept my mouth shut, breathing heavily between clenched teeth.
     The Raider smiled, enjoying what he sees. Anger bubbled inside me, something wild coursing through my veins. He noticed the fury in my eyes, the trembling of my arms, and it just made him him more amused.
    I thought about what I could do to take him down. It was almost impossivle to recoil from under his boot without breaking my ankle even more. I'd be lucky enough just to get my ankle broken.
     The Raider bent down and grabbed both my ankles, giving a forceful yank. I grabbed at the banister, two halves of my bodies going in two different directions, sending a shock of pain through my joints. I tried concentrating all my force on my upper body, gripping the banister with both my hands. 
     The middle of my body went slack, but I still felt his strong hands on my ankles. I braced myself, tightening my grip on the banister until my knuckles were white and I felt like my knuckles were going to rip from their skin. I squeezed my eyes shut tight.
    The Raider haved with all of his body. The pain was like a wave, an axcruciating pain in my ankles, specifically the one the Raider broke. I felt the bone dislocate, felt the popping of bone from it's socket. There was a burning sensation in my arms, and an ache in my elbows. The back of my neck throbbed, did I pull something? The wave continued to my hands, where they remained in tact with the banister. But the banister was no longer in place.
     The wooden banister snapped under pressure, chips of wood buckling under the force. My upper body slammed onto the ground, an electrifying pain shooting up my chin. However, I felt the hands of the Raider release. All I felt were the throbbing pain where his hands had been.
     I took this opportunity to scramble away from him, pulling myself to the staircase and hurling myself off the top, tumbling down and hitting the potruded steps. The side of my body hit the door at the bottom, but I immediately made it to my feet, turning the door knob and barreling into a basement.
    Moonlight stream through a window, and I ran to it, heaving my body through the tiny space despite my physical condition. I fell onto the wet grass, then gathered myself and jetted away from the house. I barely noticed the full moon as I continued running. I just knew that I had to get out of there.
    I kept running, not looking back, not checking to see if a Raider was chasing me. Who knew how long I was running, but for the longest time I didn't dare look back.