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Self Portrait
By: Adam Zagajewski

Between the computer, a pencil, and a typewriter
half my day passes. One day it will be half a century.
I live in strange cities and sometimes talk
with strangers about matters strange to me.
I listen to music a lot: Bach, Mahler, Chopin, Shostakovich.
I see three elements in music: weakness, power, and pain.
The fourth has no name.
I read poets, living and dead, who teach me
tenacity, faith, and pride. I try to understand
the great philosophers--but usually catch just
scraps of their precious thoughts.
I like to take long walks on Paris streets
and watch my fellow creatures, quickened by envy,
anger, desire; to trace a silver coin
passing from hand to hand as it slowly
loses its round shape (the emperor's profile is erased).
Beside me trees expressing nothing
but a green, indifferent perfection.
Black birds pace the fields,
waiting patiently like Spanish widows.
I'm no longer young, but someone else is always older.
I like deep sleep, when I cease to exist,
and fast bike rides on country roads when poplars and houses
dissolve like cumuli on sunny days.
Sometimes in museums the paintings speak to me
and irony suddenly vanishes.
I love gazing at my wife's face.
Every Sunday I call my father.
Every other week I meet with friends,
thus proving my fidelity.
My country freed itself from one evil. I wish
another liberation would follow.
Could I help in this? I don't know.
I'm truly not a child of the ocean,
as Antonio Machado wrote about himself,
but a child of air, mint and cello
and not all the ways of the high world
cross paths with the life that--so far--
belongs to me.



Try to praise the mutilated world
By: Adam Zagajewski

Try to praise the mutilated world.
Remember June's long days,
and wild strawberries, drops of wine, the dew.
The nettles that methodically overgrow
the abandoned homesteads of exiles.
You must praise the mutilated world.
You watched the stylish yachts and ships;
one of them had a long trip ahead of it,
while salty oblivion awaited others.
You've seen the refugees heading nowhere,
you've heard the executioners sing joyfully.
You should praise the mutilated world.
Remember the moments when we were together
in a white room and the curtain fluttered.
Return in thought to the concert where music flared.
You gathered acorns in the park in autumn
and leaves eddied over the earth's scars.
Praise the mutilated world
and the grey feather a thrush lost,
and the gentle light that strays and vanishes
and returns.
REPLY

I built a snowcat with Deano last night

I'm going to Seattle this summer for a couple of nights in late June. Does anyone have a couch that my friend and I could crash on? We'll cook for you.

Current Music: CocoRosie - You Are My Sister (with Antony) | Powered by Last.fm

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ACCEPTED TO SCAD
I think I'm gonna go. SO EXCITED
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a hint of weakness blows through every pore
I catch myself crawling backwards on the floor
I struggle to stand upon my feet as I was before you showed

my candle for you now burns a gentle glow
exposure enough for me to see
this wick can't burn for all eternity

and i believe yours for me smothered long ago
dampening desires you would never show
desaturating illuminations of the light i wanted to know

when strength blows through and puts me out
with nothing left to burn and ashes freed from doubt
remains of your light removed from my heart
to live in my memory until forever falls apart

my candle for you now burns a gentle glow
exposure enough for me to see
this wick can't burn for all eternity

and i believe yours for me smothered long ago
dampening desires you would never show
desaturating illuminations of the light i wanted to know

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REPLY
we're all creations of our own experiences
and right now we're creating our own personal history
be aware of the choices that are made
because history repeats itself

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REPLY
all I wanted was your time
all you ever gave me was tomorrow
all I wanted was your time
all you ever gave me was tomorrow

and tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes

people stood in a line with the flowers
they were only waiting for the moment
people stood in a line with the flowers
they were only waiting for the moment

and the moment never comes
the moment never comes
the moment never comes
the moment never comes

and I know the feeling so well
I've been waiting for you for so long
and I know the feeling so well
I've been waiting for you for so long

and tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes

-espers
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in the ground in the soil where all the plants grow and grow and they bloom and they get all fuckin tall and then some motherfucker has to go and cut that shit. what the fuck bitch. why are you fucking cutting all that beautiful shit? instead you're growing all these motherfucking buildings in this neighborhood. this shit is ugly motherfucker.
The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.

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If I were to go away
Would you follow me to ends of the earth
To show me what your love is worth
Or would you go and buy a car
Shrug your shoulders say there you are
She didn't love me anyway
If she had, she would have stayed

If I were to go away
Would I always look for your beautiful face
In every crowd, every place
Or would I go and buy a hat
Turn my shoulders, say that is that
He didn't love me now its clear
If he had, he would be here

-Vashti Bunyan
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