I thought The Edwardians would focus closely on two well-to-do siblings, with everyone else as background to their development. That’s not looking to be the case. I was surprised to find observations about the servants, not just the masters, I think they’re called. I’m also surprised that the main character / sibling might have an undiagnosed psychological condition and is not simply a moody whinger or 19-year old trying to figure things out. What’s horrified me though is the mention of ortolan. I had to look it up. I knew little songbirds were eaten in some parts of the world but was unaware of the methods for ortolan. The French delicacy is eaten whole too, which makes it ickier to someone who doesn’t see songbirds as food. Ideally, I won’t ever be in a situation where I have to change that.

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My older self really has gotten used to the presence of not-good. It used to bother me so, when I was young and learning the extent of its existence.

My young self believed being good was the thing to do. It upset me when people weren’t good or didn’t do the right thing.

Becoming inured to not-good has been helpful, but what’s been more helpful is finding and experiencing the good that is present.

These days, people are upset, justifiably so. I, well, I’m not. … Spring has been kind.

Here’s a little piece of joy and good in the world.

Wednesday was one of the better days I’ve had in the past three months.

Sun with chilly temps is the best combo, my favorite combo.

Something magical is present. The previous journal entry is evidence. Shortly after posting it, my “call” for a book was answered. That’s not the magical part though; it’s the characteristic I thought was elusive. I said a work of fiction would be alright if it was close to real life events. This morning when I checked on my chosen book, I saw this in a review: “No character in this book is wholly fictitious.” Supposedly that’s in the author’s note, and I’m 99.50% sure I’ve never seen it before.

What are you reading these days, or have read recently? Any recommendations?

I’m in the mood for a book and haven’t been able to figure out what to read. I’m a little interested in Prince H’s memoir, after becoming aware of the media ecosystem built on his wife. However, I’m not drawn to his personal story, or any biographical story about modern-day royals. Besides, I crave something beautifully written, something with a literary touch, and I doubt his memoir has that quality. Only if Melville had written a memoir!

Dickens, maybe? Fiction would be alright if it was grounded in true events.

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If you’re a royal watcher (I think that’s the phrase), or if you have an opinion about the Sussexes, please tell me your take on M (the duchess). I’m trying to understand the hatred of her. I’ve watched some videos and see no justification for the animosity. I can see why some might find her fake, but the hatred is out of proportion.

I’m thinking the number of people who try to tear her down do not represent a majority. They’re just very vocal online.

I’m not a royal watcher but the connection between Epst–n and a certain branch of the BRF has my attention these days. That has led me to rumor and news about the BRF in general.

With a simple umbrella, I entered the diagonal flow of light flurries at 9:30 this morning. It had started sooner than I expected.

A slightly dramatic scene of scanty shelves and a few laggards at my go-to grocery store turned out to be fantasy after all. Barring a few items, the aisles had plenty of stock and shoppers too. In fact, some of my preferred items were available again after an absence, and a new product caught my eye.

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To my surprise I found myself interested in the new mayor’s inauguration. Even more surprising is I feel safer now that he’s in office.

I get it now, why people across the country took to him and felt some hope in his primary race victory and candidacy.

I think it’s very possible the quality of life will decline here, partly due to the mayor’s inexperience and partly due to those who want him to fail. Nonetheless, now that he’s in, I’m in too. For the city’sake, for the country’s sake, may humane, rational initiatives succeed.

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I don’t know what has come over me. It’s like I was in a loving, supportive, enlightened place and, without warning, have been inserted into a cold, small world.

I’ve noticed my mind has wandered lately to political people and events. I don’t think I’ve been much more exposed to the news. I, in fact, have resumed browsing a site lately that I had taken a break from. I doubt that’s the cause of this shift.

Anyone else experiencing somethung odd, or is everything humming along as normal?

When I look back at it, I don’t know how I got out of it, a depression-like thing in the plane of existence. The emergence looks like a miracle.

Make a little effort and really look … ah, yes, the YT videos, the eventual boredom, the slow laying of a foundation … I remember.

The rebuilding of my life continues.

Something I do occasionally is let my mind wander. It’s relaxing. And it opens the mind … whatever comes up, take a look.

Recently I had two deadly images appear. It didn’t feel scary, though. If it meant anything, I suspect it was the end of myself or life as I knew it. It was a wiping of the slate.

I see it now … the lucky moments, the good fortune I’ve had.