It's been a struggle of a Christmas season. A struggle to keep my Christmas spirit. The tree's fallen twice, three ornaments have broken. I've wrapped the same present three times now because the paper got wet, along with a bunch more. My grand plans for Christmas Eve (making creepy crawlies in Drake's new toy he'd open tonight) ended poorly when I didn't read well enough and didn't have the light bulb we needed to make it work. I solved that by letting him open a second present, but I still felt like I failed as a mom. And those are just the surface things. It's been a struggle period.

So while trying to put a positive spin on Christmas, there are some things I am very grateful for. I am very grateful for the happy tears a dear friend shed, and how my heart about burst out of my chest with joy while viewing her Christmas tree.... the one with lots of presents underneath.

I am also very grateful for the post made to me by a stranger, telling how her Christmas spirit was enhanced by a surprise package from Santa's little helper. Her post fed my soul, brought tears to my eyes, and made me feel good. They aren't kidding when they say giving is better than receiving.

Merry Christmas to these two girls, an old friend and hopefully a new one.

Merry Christmas to all of you - my dear friends. You make every day special.

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I took advantage of that lovely mass privacy editing tool to lock my entire journal in one fell swoop. I chose to lock them all because of those few sucky people that exist out there that you absolutely don't want reading an iota of your life. Know the kind I mean? The really sucky ones.

But now I'm faced with this blank journal staring back at me. Eight years of journalling here and what does a potential new friend see? Blankness. (And a lot of pretty leaves that I still contend are not pot leaves, but that's neither here nor there.) I personally go to potential new friend's pages seeing if I like the flavor of their writing, if they post interesting things, if they are someone I think I would enjoy having in my life. I really expect the same in return, but life and circumstance have shut my journal down except to the chosen few. (hear the "ahhhh" music? lol) And while I don't regret having the privacy, I do regret taking away some of the potential for new friends.

So if you've come here wondering what sort of person I am ... am I an interesting person ... does my flavor of writing appeal to you? Don't run away because of the blankness. Prove your lack of suckiness and leave me a comment.

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