Forced smiles and broken mirrors
My reflection makes me sick

Don’t try to fix me cause I’m not broken dead
Don’t try to love me cause all I feel is hate nothing

So this is how it feels to be insane in this sane world.

I’m sharing a drink with a memory
and a laugh with an empty seat
Maybe for once, I wanted to be happy
Nearly in my hands, but now everything is smoke.

But I’m just insane in this sane world.

I’m at the end of the world
or so it seems…

Stop the world; I wanna get off.

On this beaten path trodden on many before me, I walk…
As I struggle to remember, trying to grab on to the fragile silver threads
Somehow they manage to get away from my desperate fingers
No longer as clear as before, no longer beautiful.

I watch them fly away lightly in the gentle wind.
A little seed of sadness seeps itself into the heart, along
waiting for a drop of happiness to turn it into a beautiful flower of hope

Looking up into the blindingly dazzling sky,
the clouds slowly revealing such a picture which we rarely see ; a rainbow
I tuck it away into my pocket with me to lead me on further on the beaten path

Posted on January 30, 2009

I walk into a pitch dark room

I cant not see anything in front of me..

except for this very bright light which is shining on this solitary table with its companion chair.

Somehow it beckons me to go near simply with its strangely magnetic presence.

Stroking its strong texture, little bumps gently massages my palm.

I sit down.

My eyes are drawn towards the centre of the table.

There is a blue patterned china plate with a single blood-red apple lying crookedly

Very smooth looking with exotic green patterning decorating its body.

Not too big, not too small. Just nice to lie on my palm.

It lies like a small trusting baby in my palm.

Darling, take a bite of this beautiful apple you have in your hand

A silky smooth velvet voice out of nowhere

Heavy hesitation hangs in the suddenly-suffocating air.

Why.
Because it is in your hand
Why must I listen to you
Because you opened your doors to me.
It is not true.
Yes. It is. How else would your heart be still black like this room.
It is impossible. Absolutely impossible.

Pieces of the apple lay scattered at my feet

If I could describe, it was my blood spilled.

I’m alone. All alone with my blood on me.

I’m dirty with all my sins covering me like a cloak

God, where are you? Get me out of this terrible prison. I’m suffocated.

Storms are raging, the wind is roaring vulgarities

He is not here.

My ear drums hurts with the laughter still echoing everywhere.

No. It is not true. Everything is a facade.

Help me please.

Where are you, my salvation?

A friendship is broken.
all the memories we had
are so fragile like paper
torn to pieces.

Lost along with feelings of bitterness lodged in the heart,
it fly away into the vast empitness.
never to come back to us again

can friendship be set in stone
so that it will last forever?
can friendship be destroyed
by seeds of discord sowed?
can friendship be shared
with complete trust between two people?
can friendship be without
malice and envy?

A friendship is like a piece of glass
once broken,
it can never be the same again.
with a raw scar tearing them apart

Painful, it is,
but we cannot get it mended.
what can we do?
no choice to but to let it go

can friendship be set in stone
so that it will last forever?
can friendship be destroyed
by seeds of discord sowed?
can friendship be shared
with complete trust between two people?
can friendship be without
malice and envy?

A friendship can never survive
with malice and hate in this world
only if we can destroy them in our heart,
can the purest of friendships survive
in the big bad world.

can friendship be set in stone
so that it will last forever?
can friendship be destroyed
by seeds of discord sowed?
can friendship be shared
with complete trust between two people?
can friendship be without
malice and envy?

copright of jessica

Comment on this novice song if you like. I know this is like a depressing song but this is what i feel right now.

Posted on December 1, 2007

I’m always looking at your back… You leave me so far behind that I’m getting tired trying to catch up with you..Your words somehow comforts me at times yet I lie awake, thinking of the emptiness in the words.

In an instant, I’m on my knees. Hiding in my tears, the words I couldn’t say are falling down both my cheeks

It’s too much for me to want what I can’t have.

Memories swirls around in my head like seductive smoke luring me into impossible fantasies.
The fog has covered everything, I can’t wake up.. only if the dreams were real,
i would sleep forever, caught up in the unreal world.

don’t let me get me…

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?

Why can’t you look at me?
You have no memories of me
Why am I the only one struggling and hurting

When everything ends, something else starts, I’m ok
At the end of the memories I’ll be able to forget
I won’t ask if you liked me or what I was to you
I think I’ll become sorry if I hear your answers, instead I dream
I hope to not dream of you again
The last of my love that’s left, I leave without looking back

If I can’t tell you today
I won’t be able to tell you tomorrow either

It’s ok if you throw me away now
Bearing with my no good self all this time
That’s more than enough…