knowledge
My son is majoring in physics and minoring in philosophy, which means he’s smarter than I am most days. Given my academic background, I can manage conversations about philosophical thinkers, concepts, and ideas. Anything involving mathematics or science, though—you’d have better luck teaching it to a parakeet.
I still make it a point to read on the subject, or those closely related to it, so that it can be a point of connection between us. So, he knows that what interests him interests me.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent it’s that, as much as I’d like to teach my kids something, they have far more to teach me.
I’ve been reading a book about Quantum Gravity by the Italian physicist Carlo Rovelli. It would probably take a physicist well-versed in quantum theory to be able to calculate the infinitesimally small amount of the book that I can comprehend. There’s no way I’d ever be able to perform that kind of calculating. And yet, certain passages stay with me.
Rovelli says that “Quantum mechanics introduces an elementary indeterminacy to the heart of the world”. That “There is no way of knowing with certainty”. That “All the variables ‘fluctuate’ continually”. The more we look deeply at the world around us," “the less constant it is”. Somethings are not only unknown, but “genuinely unpredictable.”
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Some, too numerous and too painful to mention. I’m not even sure if all of them are past tense. Some I may still be making.
I question my own credibility when it comes to what advice I can hand down to my kids. There are few things, if any, that I can say with any real surety. But instead of sharing my knowledge, I try to share my ignorance. My questions and my queries. The power and potential latent in the words “I don’t know” and the opportunities that arise when you’re willing to say them.
I’ve given them plenty of examples of what to not to do. But the one thing I hope I’ve given them, if I’ve given them anything, is that curiosity and wonder will always matter more than certainty.
May you never confuse certainty with wisdom.
May everything you don’t know become a doorway to possibility.
May curiosity always make you faithful to wonder, no matter how the world fluctuates.
In case no one’s told you today, I love you with all my everything.
My son is majoring in business and minoring in philosophy as well. :) My husband is a philosophy professor, so conversations around hard questions happen a lot around the dinner table. :)
I love this post so much because I really relate. Raising kids is a tough job when you don't feel equipped to do so. But who is truly equipped? Looking back, I have made tons of mistakes and continue to do so. We are flawed human beings. For me it's always been about admitting my mistakes in front of them and asking their forgiveness. That's how they learn to ask for forgiveness themselves, I hope.
And listening to them, really listening to them. It's not always easy, but being open to what they have to say is huge. I agree, I have learnt so much from both of my sons!!
You sound like a good dad to me. You are humble, honest, and aware. That is a lot already and I am sure they know that.
Curiosity and wonder - I love that. That is what it is truly about.
It’s really great advice to try and actually learn from your kids.