Another day, another turkey.

Nothing else really newsworthy except that apparently my last entry was funny. *shrug*

I'm gonna draw a bunch of obscene cartoons for Jesus to read after I move out, and cover his wall with air fresheners. God he reeks. If the Lord God were to send me to hell this instant, a gigantic cookie-man would b.. um, hell would smell like Jesus. Anyway, the guy showers every day and still my nephew smells better than he does. Recall if you will the fact that my nephew doesn't change underwear. If you know any of the stories feel free to post them, I dun have the patience to.

Man I had some good ideas for this but I dunno where they went. Probably to the cartoons im drawing. I for one am glad I'll never see Jesus again.

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woo lord.

shit has hit the fan? i may be leaving school for the rest of the semester...possibly next semester as well. i will find out tomorrow how things can work out.

if i don't, fair chance i could be put on probation, and i'm not holding much hope after that.

however we did get some funny stuff, like the guy who pulled over at 4am to tell me that buses stopped running at 10. run into many people that wait 5+ hours for a bus? takes all kinds i guess. anyway i'm kinda not at my best due to things... send condolences.

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pimp of the year update

i went bowling with britney spears again

it was teh shit

im gona cap the next player hatin fag who tell me suberben white boys caint be strait ballin stuntaz b/c i am living proof lolol.

ps i am dating brittany spears and ur not

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Uh, read today's entries upside down.

Also please be understanding of my rather unique disability and PLEASE DO NOT EXPLOIT IT IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

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Goddammit.

OUR HERO: Nah.. she was all blushing and shit, i think she was more embarassed than I was
John: So did she say yes?
OUR HERO: Nah, she hadda hang out with her friends, they were all laughing. Seems I am quite suave..

Hilarity ensues. God only knows why.

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So bowl~

Yes it is that time of the week again. Wednesday, bowling night, more fun with three. Stephanie joins us again and reminds me how much I need to stop meeting weird people. Also in today's issue I am once again reminded how saying dumb shit often comes back to bite me in the ass. But at least it provides us with our highlight of the evening, the long awaited unveiling of my SUPER SECRET GADGET POWER... the ability to bowl and mack .. AT THE SAME TIME. Or at all. Anyway it was funny I guess, of course all the jokes were at my expense. A quote, if you will, much embellishment is added because frankly i do not remember

John: So how'd it go?
Step: I think she was laughing at him :)

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Health Update:

I have gastroenteritis, commonly known as stomach flu.

Spent 6 hours yesterday on an IV. Have a blood test pending to see if i have anemia as well. In short, all is not good.

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Well just got home from Daniel Johnston. Was good, of course. Hands still cold so i can't fucking type well.. it's hard or something. Sucks at any rate.

Oh yeah since I see so many people doing it I guess i will include one now-
Current Music - downloading every Ludacris and Outkast song on Kazaa because i want one song from each of em...have a nice bass line i like and i don't know what the song is. so yay. And no, it's not Mrs Jackson or Ho or Roll Out or any of those other ones you hear 90 times a day on the whiteboy radio station

Anyway.

Before Daniel Johnston came on, we saw the Orange Mothers, ... kinda progrock i guess, they were awesome. I suggest you all at least try to hear Angels, Aliens, and Big Blue House. If nothing else Big Blue House. -Just searched on Kazaa, couldn't find any. To my knowledge their CD (Big Blue House) is only sold at the Waterloo Records in Austin.. Now for the real reason you are all here.. me and my apparently horrible views of other people since so many people like to talk to me about it. Yeah before even the first band played (sounded like 14 year old kids trying to be punk, I wasn't even in the same building as their set tho, f em) John and I talked with this guy outside, as well as through all of the first band's set.. and after the Orange Mothers as well. My point you ask? I never even learned the guy's name. Nor really anything about him besides that he was an art student who worked at a bookstore, and basically got paid to read all day. In all fairness though John did most of the actual conversing, I pitched in a few lines when I wasn't too busy freezing my fucking ass off. I wish I was smart enough to check forecasts and stuff.

Anyway here's the basic idea I got of Daniel Johnston in person.. when the set started he seemed nervous as all hell, like a fat, ostracized, awkward man, which he seems to be.. but after playing a few songs and hearing the audience's reaction he really relaxed and got into it. Made me wish I could do that, to get up there and pour my heart out, sad, tired, lonely, old, and dejected, and to hear nothing but cheers, thunderous applause, and people screaming for me to stay up on stage when (after a double encore that he had never intended to do) I leave, saying i have to go, my wife and kids are waiting..

Which is news to me, I thought he'd never married after the whole thing with Laurie, I thought it really fucked him up for life and stuff. Anyway that's it for now.

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xellosWanker: DUDE
xellosWanker: I HAD THE MOST FUCKED UP DREAM LAST NIGHT
Palourde: me too
Palourde: two actually
xellosWanker: Get this
xellosWanker: I lived in an apartment complex..... and Jaii lived upstairs
xellosWanker: that was like..it
Palourde: oh yeah, well my first dream involved me and 3 buddies drinking gasoline, we then puked 1 minute later in a toilet, 4 of us in 1 toilet
Palourde: then I woke up as drool came outta my mouth, because I thought it was puke IRL
xellosWanker: AAAHAHAHAHA
Palourde: my second dream, this afternoon, while napping, was that I went to get food, I came back and I left my door unlocked I think because my computer, my bed, EVERYTHING was gone!! then I woke up startled
Palourde: it like stopped my heart thinking I lost everything :-)
xellosWanker: werd
Palourde: I better dream of hot lesbians tonight to compensate for these two

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bongonov: JUST WRITE ABOUT NIETZSCHE AND SHIT
xellosWanker: Ma
xellosWanker: n
bongonov: Just be all like NIETZSCHE WAS THE BOMB AND SHIT
bongonov: And like just talk about that for five pages
xellosWanker: ]this paper is about what this shield says about greek culture
bongonov: I DON'T CARE WHAT CLASS IT'S FOR
bongonov: FUCK GREEK CULTURE
xellosWanker: i can't tie nietszche in
bongonov: FUCK TYING HIM IN
bongonov: ARE YOU GONNA LET THEM TELL YOU WHAT TO WRITE
bongonov: OR ARE YOU GONNA TELL YOU WHAT TO WRITE
xellosWanker: you're right
bongonov: FUCK YEAH

It's so not my fault if I fail ;o

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OHHHHH GOOD

I feel like shit, i think i'm sick, and i have to write this paper today, will probably need to pull an all nighter, and then take a quick nap, and finish it up friday morning. But the way i'm feeling i'm hardly going to be able to write a decent paper.. much less the A/B paper I need to..well.. make an A or a B..

I guess you can find me at quad C next year. OH JOY

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OK so I wrote this earlier but livejournal was out when I tried to, so i wrote it in notepad and pasted this over..

Went bowling tonight. Oh. My. God.

Stephanie was a no show again, apparently out smoking pot instead of bowling... OR MAYBE SHE JUST HATES ME yeah anyway, before we even bowled, John and I watched the most amazing game - O W Odom owns all of you. Fuckin crazy. I am in awe of that man. He rolled a BAGGER (Four strikes in a row!), something I had never heard of outside those 14 year old fags at Tom Thumb and some Will Smith movie I didn't know about till it was at the dollar movies.

Jeebus.

In unrelated news I rolled Turkey number three tonight, and got my first cherry slurpee in fuggin months.

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Yeah so anyway I couldn't sleep last night. Probably got 2 hours all told, spent most of it just rolling around listening to Oakenfold on headphones because I couldn't find my earplugs. So anyway I roll out of bed around 730 and decide to head over to the Eckerd's and buy some earplugs, then go back to sleep. I probably will. So I walk down Guadalupe - it's a perfect day (to my ass backwards mind anyway, sky grey and overcast, rain written like a death sentence all over the clouds, not a hint of blue in sight) at that perfect moment, just before the rain hits and there's that electricity in the air, or something. Anyway, there were far less than the usual assortment of bums, maybe only one or two, but there was something sad about them today, maybe I was just feeling plaintive and sympathetic.. maybe it was the look of someone who wasn't going to get to eat today, something we all take for granted

Anyway i get to the eckerd's, and it's fucking closed. 745 in the morning, they open at 8. Gah. So I check my watch to find out how long i have to wait - er - i don't own a watch. So I check my phone to find out what time it is - er - it's 730, no fucking way i need the phone, i left it at home. So I walk around the block, come back, still not open. Once more, not open. Halfway through the third walk, the bell tower chimes 8. I walk back to the eckerd's, there's a guy outside in a blue shirt smoking a cigarette. I didn't think much of it as i'm sure you won't, dear reader. However the reason I point it out is this- that was the cashier ON BREAK AT 8 AM. How does I know this? because I picked up the earplugs and glanced at the register - nobody was there. Guy was still outside. So I went to get a drink, Snapple Rain.. of course they had none, they had every other damn flavor. Joy. So I got a Sprite which I still haven't finished drinking. Anyway I'm done here so I head home. Yay! More bums! One wants change for a coffee. One wants change for a beer. One is wearing an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. I'm sorry fuckers, but you won't get a penny. You aren't needy, you're just fucking lazy. Get some goddamn dignity. Oh yeah, it was raining while I was walking back, so while I was being rained on, those who survive on pity alone (I wouldn't call it the goodwill of others.. I'd say it's more like 'Oh hello bum, I guess I feel sorry for you because you can't work, or you smell funny, or you dress funny, or something, but anyway yeah I feel sorry for you..so here's a dollar. Good boy' Sort of a condescension. Yeah anyway I'm a horrible person.) shamelessly propositioned me from their cozy awnings. Anyway I think i'm going to sleep now

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Breathing hard as i walk up the stairs. I'm out of fucking shape. This is pathetic. Tromp tromp tromp down the hall to the last door on the left. Look at the lock for a second, fumble in the pocket for my key. I'm going to lose it some day. God knows I will. Slide the key in the lock, twist a little. Resistance. Locked. Thank God. I open the lock slowly and open the door with a sigh of relief- too soon. Roommate slams his laptop closed. OH BOY i almost scream ROOMMATE'S HOME, BETTER JUICE IT QUICK

Turn on the computer write a stupid story put in earplugs try to sleep. What a wonderful life it is

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Oh yeah, before I forget

GOD MADE THE WORLD
GOD MADE YOU
GOD MADE ME TOO

GOD MADE THE STARS
GOD MADE THE MOON
GOD MADE THE EARTH TOO

GOD MADE EVERYTHING
AND GOD IS STILL CREATING
GOD MAKES ME GLAD
GOD MAKES ME GLAD

So sayeth Daniel Johnston, prophet of the Most High God

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She forgot the words. She stood motionless wishing she had written the words on her hand with a pen. She should have been an ice skater. Her career was over.

Government Warning: This product has not been pasteurized and therefore may contain harmful bacteria which can cause serious illness in chidren, the elderly, and persons with weakened immune systems.

I drink this stuff every day. Life is good.

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