Being Ourselves

So the short story is we finally got in to see a specialist for our arm/shoulder pain that started months ago. He said we have to do physical therapy at a rehab place here for 5 weeks and then he wants to see us again. He agreed he thinks it is an injury to the tendons connected to the rotator cuff, and said the chiropractor was right about the bursa being very swollen. So nothing much going on here because we can't really do much. It's so frustrating! I can type on my phone some but LJ and my phone do not get along well at all. Most of the time it is impossible now to even log into LJ from my phone. After 5 weeks if the rehab doesnt fix the arm problem he is going to re-evaluate it and see if I need shoulder surgery. I cant even think about that. Not sure when we will be back on here.

We still dont have a laptop so trying to post this from our phone. Been sick with strepl throat and a stupid cold so Ive had lots of time to think. I think too much anyway so that probably isnt good lol. The question is, how do you go about moving to a new city on your own? If it isnt for work reasons or anything like that. If you dont know anyone there. How would you decide where to move and do it safely? I made a decision the other day that I can not let myself live here for the rest of my life. I also need to move somewhere there are psychiatrists, and other medical drs I need.

Beth

Your life experience score is 28%

You've had 121 out of 437 possible life experiences.

This means that your life experience score is 28%.


Currently, the average is 174 (40%). In comparison, you are more experienced than 14% of those who have taken this test.


Scores by category:

Academic/Civic	8%
Business/Financial	13%
Relationships	42%
Artistic	10%
Recreation	24%
Mischief	31%
Personal Life	44%

Take the test!



This is probably close to accurate except for the really bad things that Ive been through not being on the list. Also, I think they should ask if you've ever had brain surgey lol because that should count for at least 10points by itself imho. :)

Just wanted to say we are leaving a bunch of communities, including some graphics communities, only because we dont know how much we will be around lj anymore. Trying once again to get back into this but overflowing email from tracking graphics comms isnt helping. It isnt personal at all. If you are our friend its because we like you as a person, not just because you make graphics or whatever. If anyone feels the need to remove us for whatever reason, we dont blame you. We havent been very good at keeping up or commenting for a while now, and Im not going to make promises I cant keep.

Tazzie has 2 beds, 2 blankets, and a chair that he has claimed as his own. Yet if we leave a laundry basket out that is where you will find him every time. LOL What is it with cats and things like this? His latest new thing is scratching at a cabinet door when he wants to get in it. He is really trying to open them and sometimes he can....if he had thumbs we'd be in big trouble. He also has a habit of tapping on the window with his claws when he wants me to open it. That habit started when he saw his kitty friend wandering in the parking lot at odd hours of the night/early morning. Now sometimes he does it just because he wants me to open the window. Its cute when Im awake....not so much at 3am though lol.

ducklingpark ----> dissociative ...We just did it a minute ago so I dont know how long it takes to go through but our friends shouldnt have to re-add us or anything.

We went to the GI specialist yesterday, actually saw his nurse practioner not the doctor. Basically she said I need a colonoscopy and something else to check my stomach too. But she said the dr wont do either while Im taking coumadin. The risk of bleeding is too high. So she was going to call my primary dr and see if I can stop the coumadin for like 5 days, and then go back on it after they do the tests. If my dr or the coumadin clinic says no then I have to wait 2 more months before the GI dr can do the tests.

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I suppose it's too late to post this now because we dont expect anyone to make us anything being it's so close to halloween already. But here is our bucket thingy http://treat-or-trick.livejournal.com/55844.html

I forgot Abby signed up for it at the last minute one day when she was only out for like 10 minutes.

We got the computer monitor back and its working ok for now....I hope it lasts a while. So we are sort of back online, except Im still too sick with the stomach thing to sit here very long at a time. This infection has made me so exhausted and since the medicine ended several days ago, my stomach has actually been hurting more. It just makes me want to lay down even though Im sick of laying down, I wish I could sleep for more than a half hour at a time if I even get that much. I understand why the primary care physician didnt want to give me more antibiotics or really any meds at all last week. She did say to call her if it got worse again and she would consider giving me more dicyclomine if I called her Friday. Well of course I didnt start feeling a lot worse until Friday evening and by then she was gone so Im stuck waiting until Monday. Plus Id already taken dicyclomine for nearly a month along with vancomycin the antibiotic, and we agreed maybe my body would heal itself if I just left it alone. I didnt think the dicyclomine was really helping that much anyway, but I found out the hard way I was wrong. It is bad for my kidneys though and causes blurry vision and drowsiness so Id still rather not take it but Im tired of being in pain. Im also starting to fight a depression that Im sure has been caused by being sick for so long.

Beth

The computer monitor is being fixed. Somehow we got it go come on yesterday for a few minutes so my mom took it to someone she said can fix it. They said we should have it back by later today or Friday at the latest, depending how busy he is. We still want and need to get a laptop but thats going to have to wait until closer to christmas I think.

Im still sick which I know sounds ridiculous because its been like a month now but I start to get a little better and then it goes back to being worse again. I finally have the "follow-up" appt with my primary care physician today at 11:00AM. It was the soonest she could see me which is crazy but its finally here. Im hoping they can run some tests or do something to figure out why Im not feeling better.

We've been in the hospital since 9/26/12 with a disgusting stomach thing called c-diff
We r going home tomorrow even tho we arent 100% well bcuz nothing else they can do for us.
I swear this thing almost killed me.

Beth & all

This is at least 3rd or 4th Ive tried to make a post tonight and the last one was almost done and,my phone went black only right where the lj post words were and then the rowser crashed and I lost it all. So just saying for now we are home and surgery went very well. It got changed to the 6th. We got home on the 11th but I couldnt think well enough until now to update. Im still not really up to being online much but will try tomorrow some. It had to be less frustrating than this phone tonight. Thanks everyone for all the comments and for caring about us. You guys are awesome friends!

The surgery is being moved up to probably this Thursday or Friday. After the surgeon looked at my MRI film today he called my psychiatrist and she talked to him about how my symptoms have been last week and today at therapy. He said He doesnt like scaring people into surgery but that it should've been done a while ago and with my concentration/focus getting more difficult and having problems breathing, being dizzy, among other things that we need to do it ASAP. I have to call his office first thing in the morning when they open and find out when he wants to see me tomorrow. He wants me to come in so he can go over some things with me again. He also said the nurse told me wrong information and that after surgery I will go to ICU and then to a skilled nursing unit on another campus for a minimum of 5 days & nights and that is if everything goes very well. He said... people need to know its in the middle of my brain and is not minimal surgery so he understands its scary. He has been doing brain surgeries for 18 years and back surgeries longer than that, so he does know what he is doing, its just not an easy one because of the location. I have so much to do and its not going to get done before surgery. Still have to call at least one more person tonight to inform her she will be taking care of my cat longer than she originally thought. I called my mother and she made me so mad I couldnt believe how angry I felt. But I will post that another time if I can. I dont want to be feeling anger before surgery. It wasnt personal, just how she is and I should know better than to expect even this to be about me and not about her but I forgot for a minute.

Beth

POSTING THIS HERE TOO JUST IN CASE ANYONE NOT ON MY FRIENDS LIST HAPPENS TO BE LOOKING FOR US IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

I wanted to let makers know I am having brain surgery to remove a cyst which we recently found out has caused me to have hydrocephalus. It was a shock when the MRI showed hydrocephalus and the radiologist told my psychiatrist to get me to a neurosurgeon asap. Bottom line is I have to have the surgery if I want to live. :/

Surgery is scheduled for September 13th but that date may change. They are squeezing me in since the neurosurgeon is really booked through October already but they said I cant wait that long. In the meantime, I dont know how much I will be online, been having more bad days than good days for a while and its been getting worse over the last couple weeks. I wasnt in pain before, just weird seizure symptoms and hallucinations for months and everyone except my psych just chalked it up to "psychosis". She knew something was wrong because none of the anti-psychotics helped the hallucinations and some made them worse. We couldnt get any other doctor to order an MRI or CT scan so she finally ordered it herself even though she isnt supposed to.

Im just trying to find all our pickups and cant even seem to do that. Not looking for sympathy from anyone, just dont want people to be mad if I miss our pickups. My doctors are actually discussing putting me in the psych hospital temporarily up until the surgery. They are worried about the symptoms getting worse and me living alone so if that happens it will likely be today and this will be my last post before surgery.

ducklingpark@yahoo.com
beth_cassell@yahoo.com

The neurosurgeon's nurse left me a voicemail yesterday afternoon saying the Dr and her would be out of tge office until Tuesday. She said she scheduled a twnative date of September 13th for my surgery...but that she was squeezing me in that day since he isnt really having room for more patiens until October but they say I cant wait that long.

Typing this from my phone. As you know we have been very sick since February & not able to catch up. Early this morning we heard a loud crash & came in the living room to find the desk had totally fallen apart. My monitor & everything else was on the floor with the tower underneath the broken pieces of the desk. I finally got the living room all cleaned up & hauled the desk outside. Parts of it were still falling off as I drug it out the door. Its beyond repair which is fine it was free anyway. If the computer still works Im going to sell it on craigslist or somewhere so I can use the money to buy a laptop. In the meantime, I cant afford to pay the cable/internet bill this month anyway. So we may not have internet for a month or 2 until after we get a laptop.

Just want everyone to know we care about you all even when we cant be here. As for people being mad at us, we werent worried about our friends being mad. That was referring to not being able to pickup or graphics that we know some people had already made for us. We are very sorry about that. I cant save them to the phone because it loses the animation when Ive tried. Hopefully by the time we get all this money stuff straightened out & get a laptop, our eyes will be feeling better too. After eliminating so many possibilites the doctor thinks it may be a severe reaction mold allergy. We think its some kind of autoimmune disorder because of the loss of appetite that seems to go with the eye pain but nothing quite fits all our symptoms so the doctors are stumped at this point.

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At the medi-center about to get checked for pink eye in both eyes & get this rash on my hand checked out since its now starting to spread to the other hand too. I dont know if maybe the rash somehow got in my eyes too or if thats even possible. I thought it was just allergies bothering my eyes or cat hair but it started Saturday morning & all weekend my eyes were red and itching and painful. Our allergies dont usually do that. Went to see our psych doc early & she said go get it checked out just in case. I called to ask if they were very busy & they said not too bad, which really meant at least 6 people ahead of me. ugh lol so just waiting now.

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We all have a sense of humor here, some dryer than others but come on LJ really? The only thing more offensive about it than making fun of mental issues, are the people in the comments laughing at all the people who really are multiple on lj for feeling offended!

- TRINITY

we gots a froggy head! hahaha i luv him! we hafta go out agin almost all day i fink. i not no i jus no we aredy late. bcuz i maked us late oops! hugs all my frends :)

- buffy

There are so many problems that need solving. However, the one I would choose would be homeless pets. Dogs and cats depend on us humans (though I'm sure most cats would argue this point if they could) to take care of them. They don't ask to be brought into this world. It is our responsibility to love them and protect them. In return they give us total unconditional love, and it is kind of amazing how many little problems the love from a pet can solve all on it's own.