By which I mean it just took me seven miles to move on by an apparent two. The services being…
Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting
Those cats were [as] fast as lightning… Half past 0900 hundred hours o’clock and there’s already been one cat-spat around…
Escape From Das Boot
May we please have a two minutes silence in remembrance of Mr R Boot. Size 11, Boot was a splendid…
Living in a Parallel Dementia
I do seriously begin to wonder if there’s really any rumour in the truth that sometime of late we –…
Coming soon …
Stories for Humans – Bletherings. By me. Yours truly. Ian Hutson. If these figures are to be believed, the man…
Early-Morning Splendiferousness
There are advantages to being up before the Sun and out and about before it rises far. For one, you…
Buy One And Stop Me
Had a party of drunk boaters steaming past here. The water of the canal signalled their approach long, long before…
You May Telephone From Here
How, one wonders, did the large back-board from a red telephone kiosk (the proper sort) get from Ellesmere Port to…
The Singing Ringing Whistling Tap
Picture the scene. You want to get in and away as early as poss-eeb-ull before the breezes pick up again…
Countrycide
I hesitate to suggest the building of anything on our remaining countryside but it does occur to me that we…
Weapons of Mass Meteorology
If all of you foreign types who attempt to take the Micky out of the English for our purported inability…
Gone South For The Winter
Went out earlier to squeegee the solar panels. Couldn’t. Can’t. They’re covered in ice. No wonder my first impulse this…