Due to ominous rumblings from LJ, I'm backing stuff up to Dreamwidth.  Given my normal posting rate of "roughly once per decade," I don't expect that will see much use either, but it's nice to have a backup.  On the off chance that anyone is still following this and doesn't know where I've gotten to, I'm mostly on Tumblr these days.

This thing still exists.

*waves*

(22:12:04) Chris: you're my mentor
(22:12:09) Chris: you are the master of perv-fu
(22:12:13) Chris: I'm just your best student

I've run into a lot of discussions this week (in various places, mind) that have exploded into arguments between "oversensitive humorless whiners" and "uncaring ___ist douchebags."

( WARNING: Potentially offensive things behind the cut. Kinda the point, really.Collapse )

In short, one person's humor is another person's hate speech. And while stereotypes can be funny if done properly, it's still a bad idea to tell black jokes at an NAACP rally.

EDIT: This was done quickly, and may not be as coherent as it should be. Criticisms, suggestions, and the like are welcome and encouraged. This is a blog, after all. ;)

Dear customers:

We sell refurbished systems. Currently, we have a pair of laptops on sale for $100 each. They have Celeron 2.5GHz processors, 256MB of RAM, a DVD/CD-RW drive, and 20GB of internal HDD capacity. They come with a factory-fresh install of XP Pro. One has cosmetic damage to the left hinge. Neither arrived with an AC adapter, but we sell adapters that will fit for $35 each. With that said, I'd like to make the following points, to avoid further confusion:

-Yes, those numbers are correct.

-Yes, those two laptops are equally fast.
--Because they're the same model.
---No, we didn't falsify the model numbers.

-Yes, it will burn CDs.
--But not DVDs.
--Yes, it can play them.
---Yes, we tested them.
----No, we will not re-run the full battery of hardware tests in front of you to prove it.

-Yes, it has a Celeron.
--Which is neither a Pentium 3 nor a Pentium 4.
--It says so on the sticker.
---Which was put on there at the factory.
----I repeat, we did not falsify the specs on these.

-It has 256MB of RAM.
--Which shows up as 248MB available, because of onboard graphics.
---No, I'm not lying to you.
----Because they don't make 248MB sticks of RAM, that's why.

-Yes, that is a pretty slow system. It's also $100.
--No, we will not sell it for $50.
--No, we will not give you the adapter free.
---Laptop plus adapter for $120. Final offer.

Bonus fail: This was all from one customer.

I set off three Raid smoke cans over the weekend. I received this badly-written note:



We watched with trepidation
As foggers were deployed
Our rapid decimation
Left us most annoyed
It seems in your elation
You thought us all destroyed
But we're alive
Just look and see
Your legs are forfeit
Signed, Bad Flea

This song is brought to you by the recent crop of parasites the dog has brought into the house.

Little flea
See you there
Sucking blood
From my leg

Then you leap
Through the air
Off to lay
Tons of eggs
( With my flea spray I wil stop...Collapse )

To whom it may concern:

When driving in storm conditions, it is considered polite to turn your damn headlights on. This helps illuminate the road surface ahead of you and, more importantly, allows drivers around you to differentiate your blurry gray vehicle from the blurry gray environment.

Sincerely,

--The Bunny who passed by a few accidents on the way home, and barely avoided being involved in several more.

Less than 48 hours until the Humble Indie Bundle goes off the market.

Donating to charity and getting Gish, World of Goo, and all the others for less than the price of one of them? You know you want to.

I present, the trailer for [Generic Movie].