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| 03:08pm 01/10/2007 |
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DUDE I'M LISTENING TO KID FROST - LA RAZA RIGHT NOW. I AM FUCKING AWESOME.
YOU'RE SO COOL I'M GONNA CALL YOU A CULO. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| 02:18pm 01/10/2007 |
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I have the following essay saved in a text file on my computer from an old SA thread. Who knows why I hold onto things like this.....
I shouldn't do shit. I don't care about them they all could die and it won't affect my life. I know a lot about them but I don't need to think about them. They're just a waste of time koalas are stupid they don't help me with shit so why should I help them. If they all die there will be more room for the panthers and all the other hard animals. Koalas are weak a pit will get rid of their whole fucking family. That's why I don't like koalas.
Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they going to be crying like some little bitches.
Koalas aren't hard they some little bitches. They start climbing up the tree soon as they see a deer from like 50feet away. They stupid as hell they should put their brain in their pouch and put the kid in they ten they're be able to think better. They try to be in the fucking kangaroo family. They weak as hell, talking bout they got a pouch a kangaroo so they their cousins and shit. Kangaroo's have some big ass legs and whot do a koala got? Some little ass legs, they tails is little and weak as fuck kangaroo's got a big ass long tail that can kill a fucking koala.
If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe with its little short ass. It'd fucking drown soon aas it take one step into the water. While they at the river trying to get something to drink a bear could just come to him and snatch its ass up. It doesn't know protection because they don't have protection. What they little ass going to do? It can't scratch him. The bear will beat his fucking ass.
The important think about koalas is that just don't care about tem and let them die by all the other animals in Australia. They're not important just let nature do what it do and kill them. Koalas do not have a place in this world there's not enough room for all the bitches in this world. So let all the koalas that's in the zoos and shit. Let them go and put them back with their family. If you let them all go they won't nothing except for that's what they was put in this world for. Now you know why koalas aren't important. They have nothing to do except for sitting around in the trees. It's like they just was like they was sent have to die. Koalas don't do nothing to help anybody. Thre would be just one more relative of the kangaroo that will be six feet under. Now you know why koalas are not important because there are dumb. |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| 05:23pm 24/09/2007 |
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Mom abuse #2
I'm putting my laundry in the machine, all of it together.
Mom: "Aren't you going to separate th-"
Me: "I GIVES A FUCK ABOUT SEPARATED LAUUUUUUNNNNDRRYYYYY. UGGGNHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNHHHHHH NANANANNNANAAAHHHHHHH."
Mom stands still for a minute and tries to finish.
Mom: "Separate the wh-"
Me: "UHGHGHHHHHNNHHHHHH"
She leaves. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| 12:36pm 24/09/2007 |
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I'm so abusive to my mother. I'm regressing to my teens.
Mom: "Is that a Led Zeppelin shirt?"
Me: "I don't know does it say Led Zeppelin across the front in really huge lettering?" |
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Read 10 - Post |
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| 09:42pm 23/09/2007 |
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Even though the name sounds like a vaginal disease, I miss having Panera in my city. |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| 06:29pm 05/09/2007 |
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OH P.S. LOOK WHAT'S IN HEMET.
SHEEP AND ZEBRAS.
WHAT. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| 01:13am 17/08/2007 |
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Sometimes my eyes are blurry, then I blink and they're clear.
Ok, I'm done for now. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| I'm going to talk about TV. |
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| 07:20pm 21/06/2007 |
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- I watch a lot of Deadliest Catch. I now kinda know a lot about crab fishing and I also now feel horrible about ever eating crab and I might never eat crab again in my life, although I really like the show.
Sig is my favorite captain. I like the more trashy guy who captains the Time Bandit too during King Crab season but yeah I like Sig better.
- Man also I like watching Man vs. Wild and you guys know how much I love Bear Grylls. It's a new season, you assholes who aren't TiVoing or watching Man vs. Wild every Friday are losers forever in the mix. Bear Gryllllllssssss. <3 <3 <3 He does what I could never do!
- Also a show I'm finding I enjoy, How It's Made. It's very much like something you'd watch at school but man did you know how they make soda? It's kinda gross! It's very dry but it's good and I've learned a lot. I think it's Canadian though so it's not to be trusted. Just kidding, Canadian friends. (SERIOUSLY AMERICANS. DON'T TRUST IT. USA A-OK)
- My other favorite show, which comes on kind of rarely actually lately, is Honey, We're Killing The Kids! on like TLC I think. Unfortunately this usually comes on when I'm eating so it makes it hard for me to finish whatever I'm eating which lately is sugar free pudding and a waffle. I don't have kids or anything but if I did the family meal hopefully wouldn't be pudding and waffles. Man I'd be such a horrible parent. I'd be on that show. Anyway it's a good show but it's a little like wife swap where the first half you're supposed to think they're gonna fail and stay fat but the second half they're succeeding and doing good and everything's awesome. It's a little like those Nanny shows only with fat people. If there's one topic I'm interested in, it's fat people. They need to get Bear Grylls in there and be like "Let's go to a glacier" and then take them somewhere 7 days with no food where they have to eat bugs and then be like "WE DON'T HAVE PIZZA IN THE WILD" and then the kids are all "Yeah Bear Grylls we're horrible assholes, America is full of jerks who don't know the bounty of what we have, we could be fucking around in the wilderness squeezing elephant shit to get the water out so we don't die" and Bear Grylls would be like "I climbed Mount Everest" and the kids would be like crying and no weight would probably be lost but an important lesson would be learned and that's don't fuck with Bear Grylls, fat kids.
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Read 40 - Post |
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| Last Danielle Does EVERRRl |
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| 07:54pm 15/06/2007 |
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My very last show is tonight.
When I get to Fort Collins, that is.
My stupid ass slept in on my nap.
Anyway, listen to 88.9fm if you're local or here: http://krfcfm.org/stream/ in about an hour. If you're hearing Latin music, I'm not there yet.
I'm going out in style! Napping style!!!! |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| 09:18pm 11/06/2007 |
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Ootini has busted through BOTH of the screens in my apartment in order to escape from my bedroom window or hop over the fairly tall patio wall to get to me. This dog must really like me. In fact, I think this dog wants to be with me more than any creature could possibly want to be with me. It's actually a little creepy how much she digs just like, looking at me and smiling her dog smile. Anyway in case she escapes somehow or figures out how to open windows and/or doors, I bought her one of those little tags with her name and my phone number on it today at PetSmart. I also put her rabies tag with the nametag on her collar. She doesn't bite but in case she's got to become a crazy ass ghetto dog and bite someone in search of me, that someone will know they won't get rabies. The tags are also good for me around the house because I can hear her covert special forces crazy ass sneaking around.
I moved my DVDs into my bedroom. Usually I have the door closed, of course today the one day I have the door open and the window open and go to get her big bag of dog food from the trunk she busts through like the fucking Kool Aid man to come find me. Anyway she'd been chewing up DVDs so I figured I'd move them where she wouldn't be likely to fuck around with them when I'm at work. I've got to go back tomorrow.
In non-dog news.
Jenna bought me a gigantic fortune cookie for my birthday and wanted to see what they look like in person. Here it is with my head for reference. I've got bed head but it doesn't matter because the cookie is SO FUCKING HUGE IT MOSTLY OBSCURES MY MESSY HAIR. I'm going to eat it for lunch tomorrow! ALL OF IT. ALL 16 SERVINGS.
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Read 14 - Post |
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| Everybody out the back door. |
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| 11:07pm 31/05/2007 |
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I'm on the air tonight. I'm very very tired, haven't slept in days and I laugh at EVERYTHING.
No theme. Theme is my birthday also butts and Goodbye Horses and wild coyotes in the night stealing babies. Gifts can be sent to:
Danielle Does!!
c/o KRFC
619 College Ave Suite 4
Fort Collins, CO 80524
(Unless you know my real home address then send them there ok)
Listen here http://krfcfm.org/stream/
From 8-10pm MST That's 7-9pm PST do the rest of the time zone math yourself jerks. |
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Read 14 - Post |
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| 12:22pm 25/05/2007 |
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If there's one thing I've learned about Colorado, it's that they sure love their Jesus Pizza. You should note that although I'm an Atheist, nothing in this post is facetious. Any anti-Jesus comments will be deleted. This is a pro-Jesus zone. Also pro-pizza.
I took this picture yesterday
Remember this one from, when was it, last Summer? Well actually guessing by the surrounding trees and leaves it would have been Autumn.
Two different churches in two different cities. The one yesterday was closer to my house in Northglenn (one city over) and the one I'd taken earlier was in Westminster or something like that, farther north, maybe 15 minutes away.
If you don't have Jesus Pizza in your area, I think you can learn a lesson from Northern Denver, people. Apparently it's the delicious salvation of Jesus paired with the delicious taste sensation of pizza. Think about it. Two great things that go great together. I'm just saying.
Anyway the thing about the sign yesterday that kind of made me laugh was how it was obviously kind of geared toward to the extreme crowd. Like you need to sell Jesus to teenagers. Really I mean come on, it's Jesus. |
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Read 17 - Post |
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| 05:23pm 19/05/2007 |
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I went to pick up my dog.
Just to let you know, that poll wasn't binding, I had her name picked out after I played with her. Her name is Ootini.
And now here are pictures.
She just got spayed, so she's kinda post-surgery and feeling icky. She puked in my car.
She really likes the bathroom so I tossed blanket in there for her to chillax on.
Seriously does this look like the same scary homeless crazy dog?
I need to get one of her smile when she's not all doped up and in post surgery mode.
There she is getting a drink, for scale. She apparently weighs like 40 pounds. She needs a bath and haircut badly but I've got to wait for her to heal up.
I HAVE A DOG. |
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Read 15 - Post |
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| Expansive |
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| 01:02pm 19/05/2007 |
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THE COLORADO DMV IS FULL OF BIG JERKS
LIBERTIES WERE TAKEN AT THE DMV. LIBERTIES I DID NOT APPROVE OF. Either that or SOMEONE is dyslexic. I VOTE LIBERTIES. Look how less bloated I look in the more recent Colorado shot though at least give me that. I like how they identify you as a voter. LOOK OUT ROAD, VOTER ON THE MOTHERFUCKIN' LOOSE.
Click for very big.
Also check out my signature. All you need to know to forge my signature is how to draw circles. ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS!!!!
THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF COLORADO VS. DANIELLE WEGELIN
Okay so I got ready to go to court and I got kind of semi-dressed up or looked at least sort of nice, here's example in dirty mirror LiveJournal style before I left for work:
I even put on conservative makeup!
For those not paying attention, here's the deal with the court date. I got a traffic ticket. Colorado has this point system, you get 12 points against your record in a 12 month rolling period, you get your license taken away or some shit like that I don't know. Anyway, I got a ticket with two counts against me. One, for being a resident of Colorado for more than 30 days and not having a Colorado license. Two, being a resident of Colorado for more than 30 days and not having Colorado plates on my car. The Colorado license charge carried with it the penalty of three points, the tags, zero. For me to get a Colorado license, all I had to do was go "surrender" my California one (they punch a hole in it) and take an eye test and pay $15 and get my picture taken and bam, I'm a licensed Colorado driver. The tags were a huge pain in the ass and I don't have them yet because the car is in my mom's name and anyway, big story and it's a huge deal.
So I get papers together and go to court. I sign in, and there's this mass of gross humanity there in everything ranging from business attire to NASCAR shirts and sweat pants. The way it seemed to work is a public defender calls you up, discusses your ticket or case or whatever, comes to an arrangement, and then hands your paperwork to a clerk who then hands it to a judge who calls you up and assesses your fine or whatever. The public defender calls me up, and asks me if I got everything taken care of. I start to explain the registration and wanting an extension and blah blah and then mention I did get my license. He says "Oh, let me see that" and I get out the temporary license the DMV gave me. He said since that's the charge that had the points against me, he'd let me plead guilty to some weird lesser charge of allowing a minor to operate a vehicle or some shit like that, and completely drop the registration ticket, as well as the points against me. This would result in me being fined $60 and being allowed to walk away without ever coming back to court about the matter again. I was like hot damn!
So that was my day in court and it was awesome.
I ADOPT A DOG.
Ok this is her pound picture so she looks all like homeless and weird and gross so she really looks sweet and adorable in real life trust me but this is all I have:
This is going to be my dog. They said she's a Chow mix but they said all the dogs there are Chow mixes she doesn't look like a Chow mix to me she looks like some kind of Border Collie mutt or something I don't know. She's very sweet and she smiles and she's very submissive and she likes belly pats and she's going to be good to keep me company I think.
I've pretty much decided on the name but here's a fun poll anyway.
[Error: Invalid poll ID 987829] |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| 03:40pm 14/05/2007 |
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I'm so weak. I'm not even strong enough to rip this cable bill in half.
YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME, CABLE BILL. I HAVE SCISSORS. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 07:45pm 11/05/2007 |
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I'll be on the air in 15 minutes for two hours with a special surprise co-host! (Not Louis)
Listen via the following link http://krfcfm.org/stream/
Say hi if you're listening or whatever I don't know. 8-10pm MST. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| 07:19pm 10/05/2007 |
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Fyck I just took my nightteim medicine and it's kicinkingkickning in and I need water. Gallons aof water. I need water dlievery from the king of supers,.
DEAR KING OF SUOPER. WATER. YOU FUCK. YOU FUCKER. I HAVE MOENY TO PAY FOR THE AWATER. SO THEIRYSYT. CANT SEE THE SCREE FROR LIVEJOURNL |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Not really a spoiler |
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| 02:48pm 07/05/2007 |
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But I guess if you're psycho about every single detail about Spider-Man 3 and haven't seen it yet don't read this post ok.
You should know my very favorite part of Spider-Man 3 and probably ANY comic book movie ever is when the waitress asks Harry Osborn how he likes the pie he's eating and he says it's "So Good" or whatever and makes that face. That might be one of my very favorite moments in any movie EVER.
I will never be able to eat pie ever again without thinking about that face he makes and I LOVE THAT. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| Trip Report: Spicy Pickle |
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| 02:30pm 07/05/2007 |
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I unwrapped my sandwich and yelled "AW FUCKING SHIT THERE'S CORN ON THIS. WHAT THE FUCK."
Who puts corn on a fucking sandwich! Seriously! I did not thoroughly read the menu I guess. GOD DAMMIT.
I am eating it anyway. |
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