My Grandma just died and I'm half a world away. It's looking like I may not be able to get home. I wish I had money coming out of my ears like some people - it doesn't seem fair that some people can just book a flight whenever they might need one and I really have to get home and I have nothing and I can do nothing. Ugh. Any prayers/good thoughts would be appreciated.

This has been a great week. I know people talk about the 'honeymoon period' but I've never experienced it until now. I know I'm in danger of sounding like a loved up sap, so I won't gush too much, but I do really like him and I just want to be with him all the time. Which isn't so great when you think about the fact that I'm leaving in a week. Oh well, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. That's what my brother told me anyway. We've been out for a few drinks by ourselves this week, and he made me dinner at home at my dad's house when everyone was away. We also went out partying last night a bit which was good fun too. I really like spending time with him and he's pretty much my best friend over here, which is cool. People keep telling us that we act like we've been together a lot longer than a week, that we seem so comfortable with each other, that we act like best friends. It's nice to hear.

Did I mention I'm loving this? It's very nice. :D

So yes, I have a boyfriend. And you have no idea how weird it is to say/write that. It's been years, people. YEARS. We're talking...oh man, maybe 11 years? And really, when you're 14 or 15, it really doesn't count. This is the first time I've gone out with someone with the view to some sort of grown up relationship. AND THAT IS TERRIFYING AND AMAZING AND AH.

It's all very new and I'm not sure what's going to happen but I'm actually enjoying just going with the flow. Being over here has mellowed me a bit I think (not that I was ridiculously uptight to begin with but I did have certain ideas about how things should be.) and I'm happy to see where this goes, in it's own time.

So here are the particulars. His name is Stuart, Stu to everyone really, and he's 25 years old. He's from Ruislip in London, England, so his voice/accent is fabulous. Random thing I learned over here - I am most attracted to English accents. Good to know. Anyway, he was in the corporate world of Thames Water in London, high stress, high paid job. He gave it up to come traveling with his girlfriend at the time with the plan to finish up here in NZ as his dad lives here. Him and the girlfriend broke up, obviously, and she went home and burned all his stuff in the house they shared. Lovely girl. He's now living in Paihia doing a Dive internship to become a Dive Master, with the view to becoming an Dive instructor.

He moved into the hostel I live in at the end of March and we clicked immediately. I felt very safe around him as he had a girlfriend that he met in Auckland and I love being friends with guys who have girlfriends. It takes away all the awkwardness. Anyway, after a week or two here, he told me he was calling it off with Becky. They'd only been together a few weeks and he felt bad as he was planning to stay here then travel and she had two kids so wasn't in a place to do that. He didn't want to string her along so they talked and decided to call it a day. They stayed friends and she's been to visit a few times and she's brilliant. If it weren't for obvious reasons, I'd say he should have stuck with her! I love her and was very worried she'd be hurt and/or pissed off about me and him but she was amazing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So he told the guys at the hostel that he liked me, but I freaked out a bit and said I just wanted to be friends. I've never had a boyfriend and the thought of it was freaking me out a bit. We kept hanging out though and got pretty close and I thought it might be going somewhere and I was alternately freaked out and excited. Then one of the girls in the hostel told me that he had told her he liked her and I got a bit hurt. I overreacted a bit and didn't talk to him for two days. We eventually talked and again, decided to just be friends. This is becoming a theme, I know.

So we kept going as friends and this past week I ended up meeting this guy and then him turning out to be an asshole. I was gutted and ended up talking to Stu about it - he was great about it and comforted me a lot. Which I then felt bad about because I didn't know if he still liked me or not. Turns out he did! So anyway, we ended up getting pretty close, sitting together on the couch, cuddling, that sort of thing so I figured we should talk about things. We did, for about four hours the other night, we talked about everything, the whole no-sex thing, the faith thing, where we were both wanting to go in life (BIG things, SCARY things!!). We decided that even though we both figured that we'd be going out if we were at home, right now it wasn't the right time to act on it and we left it at that. I think we both felt crap about it but we thought it was more sensible this way, especially with me leaving in two weeks for three months.

Until, that is, the next day, when it became extremely obvious that neither of us was happy with just being friends anymore, especially since having that mammoth talk about everything, which ultimately just brought us closer. We decided to give it a go anyway and to hell with consequences! Defining it hasn't made it any less complicated but we're just going to go with the flow. We both don't have any interest in meeting anyone else while I'm away for three months so we're going to try and see if it works out. Long distance. Never thought I would try that, but we'll see how it goes.

So that is the story, the abridged version, would you believe? I'm sure there will be more to come soon. Right now I'm just ridiculously happy and enjoying the moment! Fun fun fun.

Oh, did I mention; I HAVE A FREAKING BOYFRIEND. That's all!

It has been a loooong time since I've written here. Things are very different now, I'm still in New Zealand, but I'm not technically staying with Dad anymore. I moved out after Elena and I had a bit of row - I think we both need our own space and things get a bit crazy in the house. That's a whole different story and I'm sure I'll rant about it another time, but suffice to say that I needed a bit of a break. So I moved into Dad's backpackers instead, which is super amazing and awesome and the best thing I've done since moving here. There are tons of people my age, my friends live here and I'm meeting lots of new people. There is always someone to talk to, there is always something to do and there is a pool. It's generally a completely different way of life than I'm used to, and I'm loving it. Drinking more than I have before, not getting smashed, just going out more than I did in Ireland, and also smoking a bit too. Roll-you-own cigarettes too - I'm just so arty and pretentious, right? In all seriousness, it's because it's cheaper and it's definitely a social thing here. I fully expect to not smoke when I go home, if only because it's so much more expensive there.

In other news, I work in a chocolate and fudge shop, and no, before you ask, I am not involved in the packing side of the fudge. Like I've never heard that joke before. I also just got a job on one of the tour boats, taking pictures of people and dolphins all day - I can't wait! I start next week with a bit of training and then I'll be out on my own. I get a flash new camera to use and a mac computer to edit on. Love it!

That's all the news just now, just thought it had been a while since I even looked here, so figured, why not update? And now that is done, I shall bid you adieu.

I'M GETTING A KITTY!

But I need your help - I need a name. I want a nautical name, something boaty or piratey or something. I don't know if I'm getting a boy or girl yet, but I'm getting it tomorrow, so I need names soon! Thanks so much for your help!

It's been so long since I've updated, but things have been a bit mental and whenever I felt like writing I tended to write an email to friends back home rather than update here. I get more response that way and I've needed to feel connected to people these past few weeks. I'm still at Dad's, of course, and Anna has finally headed home to Auckland. It's meant that there has been quite a few lonely days for me up here on my own, though I have met a few people now and had a few good days. I've got one job and I've applied for another, on a boat, so I hope I get that. I need to start blogging more so that I have a record of my trip here, but I guess I'm not too worried about getting starting quickly since I'm here for so long. As it is, I already don't feel like continuing this, so I'll leave it and perhaps update again tomorrow.

I've gotten so busy this week - the reality of moving to New Zealand has finally hit, I think, and there is just so much to do! I've packed up most of my room, and packed my bag for New Zealand. However, it's 7kgs too heavy and as it's €11 per KG excess baggage, I need to cut down on some things. I don't know what yet, but I'll figure it out. I've been particularly ruthless so far, so I'm not sure exactly what to leave behind, but I'm not worried. Worst comes to the worst, I'll cut it down a bit and just pay the excess. I don't want to pay more than €50 though.

It's hitting me that I'm actually going too - at odd moments. When I'm sitting on my own, or when I'm cooking dinner, or when I'm thinking of what to do with the odd bits and bobs that I need to get rid of, or give to someone or something. I'll miss everyone, of course, but I'm so excited about going that it's kind of eclipsing that. I am really worried about when I get there though - the last time Anna lived at home so I could hang out with her, and while that was a bit lame as she was my little sister, she was pretty much the only friend I had on the trip, other than Jonny and Bina, who I only got to see three times. So I'm hoping I'll make more friends this time, especially as Anna doesn't live at home anymore. Which is a shame, as she's 20 now, so not just my teenage sister but an actual adult who I can hang out with. (I use the term 'adult' loosely, Anna is a mess, most of the time, and not very grown up at all. I'm sure there will be MUCH more about her when I'm over there. She's already annoyed because I won't ditch my dad the first day I'm there and stay with her instead in Auckland - 3 hours from my Dad. Not to mention I'll be jetlagged. Ugh.)

Anyway, very excited, super busy, but wanted to update so I actually have a chance at remembering this mental time. More later (and by later, I mean next week, when I'm in England and actually will have nothing to do!)

A couple of things on my mind that I want to get down. Firstly, I am ridiculously excited about going to New Zealand. It's like my world has suddenly opened up and I'm not restricted or hampered by anything anymore. I've felt very bound in the lasgt four years, doing this degree, and I can finally get out and experience things for myself, as a grown up. It might sound stupid, but I really just can't wait - who knows what will happen over the year, where I'll end up going, who I'll end up meeting. It's all up in the air and it's exciting the pants off of me!

Secondly, I'm already planning another trip for when I get back (not immediately, of course, and the 'planning' is happening mostly in my head). I would love to go to America next, spend some time with various people there. I was telling two friends this yesterday, and when I mentioned that I hoped to spend some time in Wisconsin, with katu and then hopefully some time in Florida with Jamie (somethingpirate ), (along with visiting other people too in Ohio and Oklahoma) they both were quite skeptical and weirded out. This is mostly because I met Katu and Jamie on the internet. Now, Katu I've actually met, 'in real life' as they say, so that's not so weird, but they were all advising me to either skip Florida or maybe only go for a day or two, 'in case they end up being 50 year old weirdos'. It really annoyed me! There is this stigma attached to meeting people online and it pisses me off. I've met tons of people online, a few of which I've met up with and they've all been lovely. I think I'm old enough to know when I'm talking to a real person and not a persona someone is trying to pull off. It just pisses me off when people are so closed minded.

Anyways, that's my rant over. In other news, I think my visa arrived, but the bloody postman didn't ring up to the apartment so the package is waiting for me at the post office. If I had of known this yesterday I could have picked it up but now I have to wait until Monday. How annoying. Here's hoping it was approved though!

I'll do the meme thing later, I'm too tired to write out all my beliefs in detail just now.