DaBlackRose

So yeah. Pft.  About two years later, here is another update. I"m still in medical school. I don't know where the time's gone. I feel like i've been studying forever and then not enough. o.o

well for those who are interested I started a medical blog for chronicling my third year (the part where i finally go into the hospital and work with patients). 

LINK!

i haven't written in two years. That's like ridiculous! anyhow. how is everyone else.

so basically, we had our first test a week ago.

Unlike in undergrad, the goal on our tests is to be around the class average.  This was a big adjustment for me.  The test was all of 88 questions, which doesn't seem too bad until you realize that each question is 12 sentences about how your patient presents to you as the doctor and all the answers are so close to the real answer that if you didn't quite know or if you weren't 100% confident -- you can easily be talked into a wrong answer.   The test took me over 4 hours.  I feel ridiculous admitting that. But i wasn't even close to be the last person to leave the test.  I left thinking I didn't fail, but i definitely guessed on about a third of the questions.

Also, its only been 4 weeks and I have run out of INK in my industrial yellow highlighter.  What is that!?


The best way i can explain med school thus far is in undergrad, the instructors gave you a warm bowl of soup which you finished each semester.   Here I feel that they throw ingrediants at you, no reciepe, and tell you to make that soup for 50 people.   Its all the same information, you just have to figure out how to pull it together and memorize it way quicker than should be allowed.    I don't see why this portion of our education isn't simply three years instead of two.  It would be worth it in my mind.  

We went through my entire biochem classs in 1 hour.  Where we were expected to know every step of glycolosis, krebs cycle, PPP, and FA synthesis for the test.     Then next lecture!  Say what!!


meh, sorry if this is really disjointed.   I feel out of it all the time.     And for some reason no matter how many hours i sleep i always feel exhausted.  If i don't have a good hour nap, i fall asleep during studying.   Werid....


anyhow. that is the summary of my life.     now i think i'm gunna go take a nap. *yawn*  my final for this section is next week.... i would be panicking if i could manage some semblance of consciousness...   I'm not convinced this is the best way to train future doctors. ...

i dunno why but i finally woke up and realized, oh crap i'm IN med school.

Pft. after four weeks i still haven't fully realized, despite the innumerable cancer lectures and the information overload and the crazy schedule where i can't even remember what day it is.

When did i get to med school and HOW DID I MISS THAT?  

Whoa.  Crazy.

(more later)

o.o  Just one little week until I move in at med school.  And two weeks until school starts. They sent me an exam schedule for the YEAR. Whoo. A test every two weeks right on the dot. 

I hope I can make it through this year, this semester, that first week. I keep telling myself not to be nervous. But like that has ever worked before.  Being just a week away from what I've worked for for so long, It's hard. You can sense the change.  I"m just not so sure this is really what i wanted, but it's too late to stop it now. So I guess i'll have to change that to I HOPE it ends up to be what I wanted. 

My puppy, Hammie, is coming with me. I am more worried for his sake because I don't know how much time i'll have to play with him.

I am more excited to be moving out of my parents house, however. I'm actually more stoked for that. There is a certain age where kid should not live with parent, and that age has passed. I want out. Finally!  Thank God for med school and student loans.


Note to Self: Don't go to med School just to get out of living with your parents.

its strange how your viewpoint changes as you get older.  That is something my mother always used to tell me. And something i never believed until now.

I recently saw the tv mini series band of brothers at the urging from my grandfather. He sat me down and talked to me about where the movie was right.  He had been in world war ii and shot twice in the arm.  His life story was very close to that of the guys in the movie.  he even met his wife, my grandmother, dancing at a wounded soldier dance because of his wounds.

My grandmother was also apart of the war, not just because she experienced teh after affects of what it did to grandfather, but also as navy intelligence breaking japanese code. She still remembers some of it and was apparently invited to teh white house for breaking the battle of midway code.

I remember years ago how they had always tried to tell me these things and how i never listened. It is sad really, because they can't remember as much now. 

So i am trying to write up as many detalis as they remember so it can be written.  I mean they're both upper 80s now.....

its sad that i had to wait so long to care...

So i know i shouldn't use this journal for whining. but i need to. Because i need some advice. and because this has lasted far too long.

I am going to med school in two months. This will take over my life and leave no time for writing. So in these months I have left, i wanted to finish and post all the stories I have in the works.

I've been working back and forth on them and...  I suck. Like geniunely suck.  I have written several stories in the past before that i've been pretty proud of.  So I don't think its one of those false modesty types.... even the friends who always read my stuff and gush over it, stay silent or say 'its pretty cheesy'.

I thought maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself. So I went to the library and got a bunch of good books. I rented movies and didn't do writing except when i felt like it.  And i find i want to write, i just SUCK.

Am i out of practice that badly?  Could I have lost any skill that i had already?  I want the release of writing something good again. Of finishing a story and know that i can come back and it won't be embarrassing.   Maybe the s                  tories are beyond my capabilities. But that sucks.

I was thinking that maybe a good editor or two would help and force me to learn good writing again, but.... most of mine are gone or busy. And they are so rare to find. Anybody know anyone good at throwing around plot ideas and identifying weak areas?

Don't feel obliged to answer, but if you have any insight, i could really use some.....

I am morally opposed to twitter....also the song 'my heart will go on' and the major freakout over swine flu that is completely unnecessary!

w00t!  I finally started posting on ff.net again!

Its amazing what a new fan review can do for a good kick in the butt. :)  I have finally started revising and re-posting Curves of the Hourglass... Though i must admit that i'm only half into it. I sorta just want to finish it -- so i'm not totally putting my all into making the plot and stuff fantastic.  But hey, it means i'll re-post and start writing again (as long as the steaks aren't that high it might be a good place to start).

Then i hope i can start getting inspired again. Finish all my current works and get them out there! wish me luck!!

Hello everyone! As promised in the circlet newsletter, Baine, the_sweet, and I have been working hard to make a bunch of Sailor Moon writing user icons. However, we ended up getting a little carried away with some only writing icons and some others. So be sure to scroll down and check em all out.

We will be updating this every month with new icons, so please feel free to check back frequently. If you have an idea or request let us know by commenting to this post. We are taking requests!

If you like one (or many), they are FREE but  please give credit and leave us a comment.  To give credit, you can post the simple code:  <lj user="THIERNAME">  </lj>   Where THEIRNAME is please insert creator's name. This will link only in LJ! for linking instructions other than on LJ please comment and we will assist you.

Passion
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Yay! i just made myself a custom layout. Shweets!  I still have to mess with a few things, like centering the banner and whatnot, but i really like it & my new default user icon!  WIN. It only took me 2 hours to figure out WTF stupid LJ new themes.

I <3 LJ spring designing!