Very, Verily: Five Things I liked in Comics This Week
I'm usually a week behind on comics even with how much I read and this week is no exception. Therefore, 'in comics this week', for me means stuff from the Wednesday before last.
V. Keeping it real. (Ultimatum #1, Loeb/Finch, Marvel)
I have something of a soft spot for dumb shit that makes me laugh. This panel from Ultimatum hit it so sweet.
That panel couldn't sum up the appeal of the Ultimates better for me if it tried. The sheer shamelessness of that dialogue in combination with Finch's SUPERHERO STRIKE A POSE (Thor's chest what is happening there?) 'realistic' art.
I mean, that's it right there right? The pitch of the Ultimates is to have the Avengers only in a realer world than the regular Marvel U, a Marvel U minus the crack. You put someone like Hitch or Finch on pencils and you reference recent current events and maybe you make some powers or costumes more believable. You update shit like Hawkeye being from the circus and instead make him a government agent. You streamline 50 years of continuity and make it simpler, less convoluted because that's more 'real'. Just by attempting this you're adding in the ridiculous and it'll just keep circling back on itself, getting more ridiculous and more real and more ridiculous and you end up with an uber drunk Tony + giant naked men + horny Hulk domestic violence involving ants + a flashing Wasp + hippie Thor + gay Jarvis + grumpy asshole Cap + asshole everyone + Clint killing people with his fingernails and god damn but if that isn't ENTERTAINMENT.
Putting Madureira on pencils canceled the whole thing out and made the book nothing but boring stupid. With Finch, we can put that whole thing behind us and at least get back to having a stupid good time for the next five issues (good time so long as they don't do anything to fuck up Ultimate Spiderman's perfect wonderfulness PLEASE PROTECT IT BENDIS).
And boy does it promise to be a fabulous train wreck. Who will die next? Will Hawkeye's outfit get any uglier? Will Tony get so drunk he can't function? Will he end up in a hotel room with piles of blow and a Wonder Woman costume? (ONE CAN DREAM) What will Magneto temper tantrum destroy next? It's all. So. ULTIMATE!
Did I mention that uber drunk Tony is best? Because he really, really is.
'Very, verily, Steve.' He says saucily right before he passes out.
IV. Rocket Red Glares. (Invincible Iron Man #7, Fraction/Larroca, Marvel)
Every month I find myself looking more and more forward to this series. Why? BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING AWESOME THAT'S WHY. Fraction's got to walk this fine line - give the people Tony from the movie, but keep him 616 and don't forget about all that Civil War stuff, he's a dick, but you like him, deal with Extremis and come up with cool uses of technology, keep the comic feeling futuristic but more present and *NOW* than anything else in the Marvel line with the possible exception of X-men and seriously now, don't forget to make it movie but comics. And has he been able to do this? With aplomb. Not only has he managed to do it but he's thrown in bonus awesome with things like Stain's horrible t-shirt (Iron Man was Right over Cap's skull omg SOB), that scene with Pepper and Tony where she was *flying*, and best of all having Tony beat his villain in his black boxer briefs. F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C.
His first arc is done and if this issue is any indication it doesn't look like he's going to ease up on the greatness any time soon. For one thing, he put Peter and Tony in the same room. Teaming up. Not hating each other. Having this conversation.
Think about that for a second. Peter's spider tracer is so badass that Tony's ultra cool armor couldn't pick it up! Iron Man's book exists to make Iron Man look cool, giving us cool Peter at the same time is just extra cookies. To make him not only that cool but that . . . beautiful, that's the only word for Peter sometimes. If you ignore the handwavey logic of 'Well why don't you invent something else that awesome Peter? Something that won't give away your identity?', how perfectly Peter an explanation. Sacrificing whatever benefit his gifts/being Spiderman might bring himself for the sake of others. 'None of this is about me'. Fucking beautiful. On a Dick Grayson level even.
Tony dressing in front of him and Peter perched on the armor ain't bad either. It's a lovely scene all around. As was every bit of their interaction throughout the issue. There are continuity issues and questions that I'm still not all that clear on because of Brand New Day that Fraction didn't manage to completely clear up but I can't care (Hi, so I'm a DC fan). It makes me happy to see them come to some kind of peace and now that MJ is gone - slash, people. Slash them up! It's all kinds of wrong to have Tony tied up monogamously to Cap when there are other delicious options around. Even more wrong that there isn't copious amounts of Peter porn to be found. How can everyone and their grandmother not want to porn him up? He's so beautiful. Does whatever a beautiful can.
Best of all. Rocket wheelchair.
I will never get tired of comics so long as things like that continue to happen.
III. I feel the earth move under my feet. (Terra #1, Grey&Palmiotti/Conner, DC)
The only Terra I've had any experience with was the traitorous eww she's 16 and sleeping with Slade! Terra from Judas Contract. Needless to say, I didn't particularly care for her.
The only Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray experience I've had, that I can remember anyways, was on Countdown. Do I even have to say that I didn't care for it? No one in the universe liked Countdown.
The only Amanda Conner experiences I've had have been outstanding.
This issue had one thing going for it and to tell the truth the other things sounded so bad that I thought for sure they would cancel Amanda's artwork out. I only read it during a lull in the store because I was saving everything else I hadn't read for a better environment, one of total quiet, no chance of being interrupted, and hot chocolate. Thank christ for boring no one ever comes in Mondays. The issue left me so giddy and I-can't-wait-to-read-the-next-one comics satisfied. Which is always a great feeling but even better when you're not expecting it.
The writing is fun and well paced but Amanda Conner's art! I will never doubt its power again. It's spunky and humorous and charming as a motherfucker and could transform even the dullest script into something at least worth your time. And her women. Dear god her women. They're so full of spirit and expression. They're *fun*. They're what heroine sexy should be like. If all of the comic book T&A were to suddenly be like hers, I'd be the saddest little masturbator of them all, outperving even the grossest fanboy. She could draw Granny Goodness and make me fall in love with her.
That's what this was. Me falling in love with the idea of this previously unknown Terra person. She even managed to draw her powers awesome and if you've ever read anything with Geo-Force in it, you know what a feat that is.
Behold.
That's her saving some miners by wrapping them in a giant earth ball. After fighting off crazy rock monsters. While wearing those black boots with the white stripe. While having adorable butchy black hair and purple eyes.
Purple! With the hair and the boots and the powers.
. . . .
Saddest little masturbator, I'm telling you.
At least I'm not alone because midway through the issue Power Girl shows up and from first glance, this Terra is clearly rockin' her world too.
I'VE NEVER HAD A GIRL/GIRL SHIP BEFORE AND THE MIGHTINESS OF IT IS MAKING ME INCOHERENT AND REDUCED TO LISTING:
1) See how they are all cling, cling, swoon never let me go! With a side of let me bury my face in your cleavage.
2) How tender and gorgeous does Karen look gazing into Terra's eyes in the last panel? She's thinking mine, I want this to be mine. Please let it be mine.
3) Karen hip out and boot smashing while being protective = possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen.
4) How cool is that coral bridge thing in the first place? Again with the great use of a previously thought lame power.
5) Little rock dudes WIN.
6) They're like yin and yang. Similar bathing suit outfits with boots - one black, one white. Blonde hair, black hair. THEY LOOK AWESOME TOGETHER.
In case it somehow didn't come through, I'm a lot in love with Power Girl. The touching character work that Geoff's been doing with her the last couple of years, how could I not be? She makes me wistful sad. She makes me want to do nothing but give her hugs. Okay, a couple other things besides hugs. Wait, no. Thigh hugging my face is still a hug isn't it?
She also reads as gayer than gay to me. Like she is not touching dick. Nuh, uh. We're talking Tim Drake gay. If you've been reading JSA, you've seen what girlfriends she and her Earth's Huntress were. How heartbroken she is just seeing her again. How she ran to our Earth's Helena without knowing why because it made her feel safer. Because there was such a draw there. Now Karen needs a new girlfriend. I want to see her share something with someone, to have someone outside of the JSA. Someone more hers. She deserves it and at the end of the issue, we find out that Terra girl has the same dna as the Terra skank that was on the Titans and I'm calling it right now - this is a Terra from another Earth. A lost Terra just like Karen is a lost Supergirl. If the comics gods are good, THIS IS WHERE THIS MINI IS GOING. To be followed by tons of Terra guest appearances in the upcoming Power Girl ongoing.
If the mood strikes you at all, PLEASE GO BUY THIS BOOK! Buy more than one copy. We need to show DC that yes, we do appreciate good books with female pov characters and yes, we do like to see female artists and things written by people other than Geoff Johns. (Which omg is not at all a slight against Geoff Johns because I love him obsessively to the surprise of no one who knows me)
II. It's in his kiss. That's where it is. (The Avengers v.2 #77, Austen/Copiel, Marvel)
This issue was waiting for me in the quarter bin at Half-Price Books like a gift from God. I've been digging Copiel's work on Thor so his name on the cover caught my attention. Also, you know anything with Clint Barton in it calls to me. Literally. You can hear his heart pounding out I AM CLINT AND I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME. Try it sometime. Set your copy of Secret Invasion 7 on the table in front of you and give it a second. You'll hear it. I have to put all issues with Hawkeye in them in the longbox right next to all Nightwing issues because Dick says the same thing and they help to drown each other out. Universe destroying cross company otp, right there.
Wow, Clint gets me on tangents. BECAUSE HE IS LOVE.
So Copiel's name and Clint's presence for a quarter got me thinking score! Little did I know the true treasure of what I'd found. It was beyond my imagining. It was Clint giving Cap girl advice.
YEAH GO AHEAD AND HEART ATTACK. NO ONE WILL JUDGE YOU.
Even better than me talking about is the thing itself. Take a deep breathe and once you've gained control of yourself, LOOK.
We interrupt this magic to give you a second to steel yourself for the next bit because if you come into it unprepared who knows what could happen. The winsomeness of their relationship and the thought of Clint being alone now with no Steve to bug might send you into a downward spiral of WOE WHERE IS STEVE depression and before you know it you could find yourself not bothering to get out of your bathrobe and sucking back vodka at 10 in the morning while reading something awful like Ultimates. Or the force of Clint's lovability could short your brain out and ruin you for any other character and you'll give up comics because there is never enough Clint Barton in them and without comics your life will be empty. All because you didn't steel yourself.
We also interrupt because I could stare at Clint in this art for a long time. I love his shaggy hair and his sideburns and how much smaller his body is than Cap's. I love his jacket. I'm looking at the page and making a ridiculous leer right back at him.
Okay you ready?
The way that the Valkyrie and Thor panel is like a little thesis for the Ultimates - this panel is that for Clint. 'Then kiss her for all your worth' could be his tagline. It's in everything he does. Always putting his heart and all he's worth out there asking people to take it whether he's killing Skrull queens or visiting Wanda up in the mountains or fighting with Steve. Wanting love, giving it - his bruised up still beating heart - that's his superpower. You don't want to fuck with it. Just ask the Skrulls.
And along with the heart, the slightly off-kilter nonsensical way he has of saying things and that clueless endearing obnoxiousness. It's all there. Perfect ♥ Someone help me out and explain why fandom isn't besotted with him? Or why there aren't epic fics with nothing but Clint interfering in Cap's love life, causing disaster after disaster (Bringing Up Baby style), only at the end to finally kiss him for all he's worth? I can't be the only one who thinks the sun shines out of his ass?
Bonus Clint and Cap public nakedness!
Ow!
I. Mystery Bat theater. (Grant Morrison's Batman run #655-680, Morrison/Kubert, Morrison/Daniel, DC)
During one of our weekly gabfests,
isilweth and I had ourselves scared that Tim was going to be the Black Glove. To set our minds at ease/freak ourselves out more, we decided to reread Grant's run on Batman again from the beginning and play Try to Predict Grant. Which is a mighty fun game but ultimately impossible because it's Grant. We sat there for three hours in Target, stack set in front of us, stopping to discuss whatever clues we thought we'd caught and even after that, after inspecting each issue with a microscope, we came to the last page and we're still in total suspense and every bit as I HAVE TO KNOW NOW as we were when we started. Some might call that bad storytelling or Grant takes too many drugs. I call it thrilling.
My feelings for the first six issues or so are set in stone. They're probably my favorite Batman stuff ever. In my mind you just can't top them for zany Batman awesomeness. Manbats and art gallerys and little ninja Robin Damian and Bruce being cooler than James Bond.
What I didn't know till I reread it all was that I feel the same way about the rest of it. The lateness of the issues, my dissatisfaction with the art, my concern for Bruce, and my Alzheimer’s about what happened from issue to issue had taken the edge of the joy off. But together? What a romp it is! It's one big crazy adventure - exactly like something that might have happened in Bruce's black casebook. I might be the only one but I'm not at all anxious to go back to the super loner, less fantastical, dickhead type of Batman stories.
The less amusing Batman stories (keyword less because Batman is always funny). The Batman type stories without panels like this one -
That one panel has everything that The Dark Knight, for all it's greatness, was missing. That's comics Batman. That's brilliant. That's ace, top notch Grant Morrison dialogue.
There are dozens upon dozens of moments like that throughout his run. There's this bit where it felt like Grant was talking specifically toisilweth and me -
I'm trying to steer clear of the defensive stance and tone that wants to shout and make itself known because hey, if people want to hate, okay. But this is the biggest reason I don't understand all the Grant vitriol. His humor infuses his books. It's on every page! He knows he's ridiculous. He knows the comics are ridiculous. Only it's not 'ha ha look at how silly this art form is'. It's more like - 'Of course this comic is ridiculous because life is ridiculous and you're ridiculous and I'm ridiculous and we're all ridiculous and laugh, you fuckers, why not?' I personally, want more of that in my comics and a whole lot more of it in comics fandom.
That panel is closely followed by this one -
I love that the preppy school boy in the back saved from becoming an orphan or worse, reflects both Bruce and Tim. I love that Tim is describing what is about to happen to Bruce within a few scant pages. I love Tim's 'No'. Just No.
I love grocery shop cart pushing, crystal meth Batman. I love Batmite.
I love that that is the most Grant answer possible. I love that he has Bruce running around in the boots that he has a fetish for because he can't help himself. I love booby trapped Wayne Manor and Talia and Damien coming to save Gordon. I love the red police line phone from the tv series showing up. I love Tim fighting mimes and his stuffing his face with French fries.
I love the Wayne family portraits and knowing that Grant definitely has at least five stories about Mordechai and Silas Wayne stored in his head and that he would share them if only you could get the chance to ask him.
I love reading other people's guesses as to who the Black Glove is. I love that I'm still excited about the last issue not because I want it out of the way but because I want to get there with Bruce and Grant. Because no matter what crazy random thing Grant pulls from his hat, I do trust him to get me there in the most rollicking way possible.
V. Keeping it real. (Ultimatum #1, Loeb/Finch, Marvel)
I have something of a soft spot for dumb shit that makes me laugh. This panel from Ultimatum hit it so sweet.
That panel couldn't sum up the appeal of the Ultimates better for me if it tried. The sheer shamelessness of that dialogue in combination with Finch's SUPERHERO STRIKE A POSE (Thor's chest what is happening there?) 'realistic' art.
I mean, that's it right there right? The pitch of the Ultimates is to have the Avengers only in a realer world than the regular Marvel U, a Marvel U minus the crack. You put someone like Hitch or Finch on pencils and you reference recent current events and maybe you make some powers or costumes more believable. You update shit like Hawkeye being from the circus and instead make him a government agent. You streamline 50 years of continuity and make it simpler, less convoluted because that's more 'real'. Just by attempting this you're adding in the ridiculous and it'll just keep circling back on itself, getting more ridiculous and more real and more ridiculous and you end up with an uber drunk Tony + giant naked men + horny Hulk domestic violence involving ants + a flashing Wasp + hippie Thor + gay Jarvis + grumpy asshole Cap + asshole everyone + Clint killing people with his fingernails and god damn but if that isn't ENTERTAINMENT.
Putting Madureira on pencils canceled the whole thing out and made the book nothing but boring stupid. With Finch, we can put that whole thing behind us and at least get back to having a stupid good time for the next five issues (good time so long as they don't do anything to fuck up Ultimate Spiderman's perfect wonderfulness PLEASE PROTECT IT BENDIS).
And boy does it promise to be a fabulous train wreck. Who will die next? Will Hawkeye's outfit get any uglier? Will Tony get so drunk he can't function? Will he end up in a hotel room with piles of blow and a Wonder Woman costume? (ONE CAN DREAM) What will Magneto temper tantrum destroy next? It's all. So. ULTIMATE!
Did I mention that uber drunk Tony is best? Because he really, really is.
'Very, verily, Steve.' He says saucily right before he passes out.
IV. Rocket Red Glares. (Invincible Iron Man #7, Fraction/Larroca, Marvel)
Every month I find myself looking more and more forward to this series. Why? BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING AWESOME THAT'S WHY. Fraction's got to walk this fine line - give the people Tony from the movie, but keep him 616 and don't forget about all that Civil War stuff, he's a dick, but you like him, deal with Extremis and come up with cool uses of technology, keep the comic feeling futuristic but more present and *NOW* than anything else in the Marvel line with the possible exception of X-men and seriously now, don't forget to make it movie but comics. And has he been able to do this? With aplomb. Not only has he managed to do it but he's thrown in bonus awesome with things like Stain's horrible t-shirt (Iron Man was Right over Cap's skull omg SOB), that scene with Pepper and Tony where she was *flying*, and best of all having Tony beat his villain in his black boxer briefs. F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C.
His first arc is done and if this issue is any indication it doesn't look like he's going to ease up on the greatness any time soon. For one thing, he put Peter and Tony in the same room. Teaming up. Not hating each other. Having this conversation.
Think about that for a second. Peter's spider tracer is so badass that Tony's ultra cool armor couldn't pick it up! Iron Man's book exists to make Iron Man look cool, giving us cool Peter at the same time is just extra cookies. To make him not only that cool but that . . . beautiful, that's the only word for Peter sometimes. If you ignore the handwavey logic of 'Well why don't you invent something else that awesome Peter? Something that won't give away your identity?', how perfectly Peter an explanation. Sacrificing whatever benefit his gifts/being Spiderman might bring himself for the sake of others. 'None of this is about me'. Fucking beautiful. On a Dick Grayson level even.
Tony dressing in front of him and Peter perched on the armor ain't bad either. It's a lovely scene all around. As was every bit of their interaction throughout the issue. There are continuity issues and questions that I'm still not all that clear on because of Brand New Day that Fraction didn't manage to completely clear up but I can't care (Hi, so I'm a DC fan). It makes me happy to see them come to some kind of peace and now that MJ is gone - slash, people. Slash them up! It's all kinds of wrong to have Tony tied up monogamously to Cap when there are other delicious options around. Even more wrong that there isn't copious amounts of Peter porn to be found. How can everyone and their grandmother not want to porn him up? He's so beautiful. Does whatever a beautiful can.
Best of all. Rocket wheelchair.
I will never get tired of comics so long as things like that continue to happen.
III. I feel the earth move under my feet. (Terra #1, Grey&Palmiotti/Conner, DC)
The only Terra I've had any experience with was the traitorous eww she's 16 and sleeping with Slade! Terra from Judas Contract. Needless to say, I didn't particularly care for her.
The only Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray experience I've had, that I can remember anyways, was on Countdown. Do I even have to say that I didn't care for it? No one in the universe liked Countdown.
The only Amanda Conner experiences I've had have been outstanding.
This issue had one thing going for it and to tell the truth the other things sounded so bad that I thought for sure they would cancel Amanda's artwork out. I only read it during a lull in the store because I was saving everything else I hadn't read for a better environment, one of total quiet, no chance of being interrupted, and hot chocolate. Thank christ for boring no one ever comes in Mondays. The issue left me so giddy and I-can't-wait-to-read-the-next-one comics satisfied. Which is always a great feeling but even better when you're not expecting it.
The writing is fun and well paced but Amanda Conner's art! I will never doubt its power again. It's spunky and humorous and charming as a motherfucker and could transform even the dullest script into something at least worth your time. And her women. Dear god her women. They're so full of spirit and expression. They're *fun*. They're what heroine sexy should be like. If all of the comic book T&A were to suddenly be like hers, I'd be the saddest little masturbator of them all, outperving even the grossest fanboy. She could draw Granny Goodness and make me fall in love with her.
That's what this was. Me falling in love with the idea of this previously unknown Terra person. She even managed to draw her powers awesome and if you've ever read anything with Geo-Force in it, you know what a feat that is.
Behold.
That's her saving some miners by wrapping them in a giant earth ball. After fighting off crazy rock monsters. While wearing those black boots with the white stripe. While having adorable butchy black hair and purple eyes.
Purple! With the hair and the boots and the powers.
. . . .
Saddest little masturbator, I'm telling you.
At least I'm not alone because midway through the issue Power Girl shows up and from first glance, this Terra is clearly rockin' her world too.
I'VE NEVER HAD A GIRL/GIRL SHIP BEFORE AND THE MIGHTINESS OF IT IS MAKING ME INCOHERENT AND REDUCED TO LISTING:
1) See how they are all cling, cling, swoon never let me go! With a side of let me bury my face in your cleavage.
2) How tender and gorgeous does Karen look gazing into Terra's eyes in the last panel? She's thinking mine, I want this to be mine. Please let it be mine.
3) Karen hip out and boot smashing while being protective = possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen.
4) How cool is that coral bridge thing in the first place? Again with the great use of a previously thought lame power.
5) Little rock dudes WIN.
6) They're like yin and yang. Similar bathing suit outfits with boots - one black, one white. Blonde hair, black hair. THEY LOOK AWESOME TOGETHER.
In case it somehow didn't come through, I'm a lot in love with Power Girl. The touching character work that Geoff's been doing with her the last couple of years, how could I not be? She makes me wistful sad. She makes me want to do nothing but give her hugs. Okay, a couple other things besides hugs. Wait, no. Thigh hugging my face is still a hug isn't it?
She also reads as gayer than gay to me. Like she is not touching dick. Nuh, uh. We're talking Tim Drake gay. If you've been reading JSA, you've seen what girlfriends she and her Earth's Huntress were. How heartbroken she is just seeing her again. How she ran to our Earth's Helena without knowing why because it made her feel safer. Because there was such a draw there. Now Karen needs a new girlfriend. I want to see her share something with someone, to have someone outside of the JSA. Someone more hers. She deserves it and at the end of the issue, we find out that Terra girl has the same dna as the Terra skank that was on the Titans and I'm calling it right now - this is a Terra from another Earth. A lost Terra just like Karen is a lost Supergirl. If the comics gods are good, THIS IS WHERE THIS MINI IS GOING. To be followed by tons of Terra guest appearances in the upcoming Power Girl ongoing.
If the mood strikes you at all, PLEASE GO BUY THIS BOOK! Buy more than one copy. We need to show DC that yes, we do appreciate good books with female pov characters and yes, we do like to see female artists and things written by people other than Geoff Johns. (Which omg is not at all a slight against Geoff Johns because I love him obsessively to the surprise of no one who knows me)
II. It's in his kiss. That's where it is. (The Avengers v.2 #77, Austen/Copiel, Marvel)
This issue was waiting for me in the quarter bin at Half-Price Books like a gift from God. I've been digging Copiel's work on Thor so his name on the cover caught my attention. Also, you know anything with Clint Barton in it calls to me. Literally. You can hear his heart pounding out I AM CLINT AND I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME. Try it sometime. Set your copy of Secret Invasion 7 on the table in front of you and give it a second. You'll hear it. I have to put all issues with Hawkeye in them in the longbox right next to all Nightwing issues because Dick says the same thing and they help to drown each other out. Universe destroying cross company otp, right there.
Wow, Clint gets me on tangents. BECAUSE HE IS LOVE.
So Copiel's name and Clint's presence for a quarter got me thinking score! Little did I know the true treasure of what I'd found. It was beyond my imagining. It was Clint giving Cap girl advice.
YEAH GO AHEAD AND HEART ATTACK. NO ONE WILL JUDGE YOU.
Even better than me talking about is the thing itself. Take a deep breathe and once you've gained control of yourself, LOOK.
We interrupt this magic to give you a second to steel yourself for the next bit because if you come into it unprepared who knows what could happen. The winsomeness of their relationship and the thought of Clint being alone now with no Steve to bug might send you into a downward spiral of WOE WHERE IS STEVE depression and before you know it you could find yourself not bothering to get out of your bathrobe and sucking back vodka at 10 in the morning while reading something awful like Ultimates. Or the force of Clint's lovability could short your brain out and ruin you for any other character and you'll give up comics because there is never enough Clint Barton in them and without comics your life will be empty. All because you didn't steel yourself.
We also interrupt because I could stare at Clint in this art for a long time. I love his shaggy hair and his sideburns and how much smaller his body is than Cap's. I love his jacket. I'm looking at the page and making a ridiculous leer right back at him.
Okay you ready?
The way that the Valkyrie and Thor panel is like a little thesis for the Ultimates - this panel is that for Clint. 'Then kiss her for all your worth' could be his tagline. It's in everything he does. Always putting his heart and all he's worth out there asking people to take it whether he's killing Skrull queens or visiting Wanda up in the mountains or fighting with Steve. Wanting love, giving it - his bruised up still beating heart - that's his superpower. You don't want to fuck with it. Just ask the Skrulls.
And along with the heart, the slightly off-kilter nonsensical way he has of saying things and that clueless endearing obnoxiousness. It's all there. Perfect ♥ Someone help me out and explain why fandom isn't besotted with him? Or why there aren't epic fics with nothing but Clint interfering in Cap's love life, causing disaster after disaster (Bringing Up Baby style), only at the end to finally kiss him for all he's worth? I can't be the only one who thinks the sun shines out of his ass?
Bonus Clint and Cap public nakedness!
Ow!
I. Mystery Bat theater. (Grant Morrison's Batman run #655-680, Morrison/Kubert, Morrison/Daniel, DC)
During one of our weekly gabfests,
isilweth and I had ourselves scared that Tim was going to be the Black Glove. To set our minds at ease/freak ourselves out more, we decided to reread Grant's run on Batman again from the beginning and play Try to Predict Grant. Which is a mighty fun game but ultimately impossible because it's Grant. We sat there for three hours in Target, stack set in front of us, stopping to discuss whatever clues we thought we'd caught and even after that, after inspecting each issue with a microscope, we came to the last page and we're still in total suspense and every bit as I HAVE TO KNOW NOW as we were when we started. Some might call that bad storytelling or Grant takes too many drugs. I call it thrilling.My feelings for the first six issues or so are set in stone. They're probably my favorite Batman stuff ever. In my mind you just can't top them for zany Batman awesomeness. Manbats and art gallerys and little ninja Robin Damian and Bruce being cooler than James Bond.
What I didn't know till I reread it all was that I feel the same way about the rest of it. The lateness of the issues, my dissatisfaction with the art, my concern for Bruce, and my Alzheimer’s about what happened from issue to issue had taken the edge of the joy off. But together? What a romp it is! It's one big crazy adventure - exactly like something that might have happened in Bruce's black casebook. I might be the only one but I'm not at all anxious to go back to the super loner, less fantastical, dickhead type of Batman stories.
The less amusing Batman stories (keyword less because Batman is always funny). The Batman type stories without panels like this one -
That one panel has everything that The Dark Knight, for all it's greatness, was missing. That's comics Batman. That's brilliant. That's ace, top notch Grant Morrison dialogue.
There are dozens upon dozens of moments like that throughout his run. There's this bit where it felt like Grant was talking specifically to
isilweth and me - 
I'm trying to steer clear of the defensive stance and tone that wants to shout and make itself known because hey, if people want to hate, okay. But this is the biggest reason I don't understand all the Grant vitriol. His humor infuses his books. It's on every page! He knows he's ridiculous. He knows the comics are ridiculous. Only it's not 'ha ha look at how silly this art form is'. It's more like - 'Of course this comic is ridiculous because life is ridiculous and you're ridiculous and I'm ridiculous and we're all ridiculous and laugh, you fuckers, why not?' I personally, want more of that in my comics and a whole lot more of it in comics fandom.
That panel is closely followed by this one -
I love that the preppy school boy in the back saved from becoming an orphan or worse, reflects both Bruce and Tim. I love that Tim is describing what is about to happen to Bruce within a few scant pages. I love Tim's 'No'. Just No.
I love grocery shop cart pushing, crystal meth Batman. I love Batmite.
I love that that is the most Grant answer possible. I love that he has Bruce running around in the boots that he has a fetish for because he can't help himself. I love booby trapped Wayne Manor and Talia and Damien coming to save Gordon. I love the red police line phone from the tv series showing up. I love Tim fighting mimes and his stuffing his face with French fries.
I love the Wayne family portraits and knowing that Grant definitely has at least five stories about Mordechai and Silas Wayne stored in his head and that he would share them if only you could get the chance to ask him.
I love reading other people's guesses as to who the Black Glove is. I love that I'm still excited about the last issue not because I want it out of the way but because I want to get there with Bruce and Grant. Because no matter what crazy random thing Grant pulls from his hat, I do trust him to get me there in the most rollicking way possible.