
Ahem, is this thing on? Good evening. I wished to bequeath you a missive, that you may find suitable accommodation on this, your inaugural eve. I occupied your post betimes, and am, in point of fact, concluding my final week. Ergo, while I comprehend the potential for disquiet, I assure you there exists naught to perturb you. Indeed, you shall acquit yourself admirably. Let us, therefore, concentrate our efforts on ensuring your navigation through this first hebdomad, agreed? Pray, allow me to consult my notes; First, a prefatory salutation from the establishment, which I am obliged to recite. A mere formality, you comprehend. "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, an enchanted realm for progeny and their elders alike, where imagination transmutes into reality and mirth abounds. Fazbear Entertainment absolves itself of liability for any detriment to property or person. Should damage or fatality occur, a report of missing persons will be duly filed within ninety days, or when premises have been thoroughly cleansed and disinfected, and rugs replaced." And so forth. Such verbiage may strike a chord of unease, I surmise. However, in verity, there is little call for alarm. The animatronic entities herein are wont to exhibit a certain peculiarity during the nocturnal hours, yet can one fault them? Nay. Were I compelled to perform the self-same puerile songs for a score of years, and bereft of ablutions, I, too, should likely manifest a degree of irritability. Ergo, recall that these figures occupy a hallowed place in the affections of the youthful, and we must accord them due reverence, correct? Very well. Be mindful that the characters evince a tendency to roam somewhat. During the nocturnal hours, they exist in a mode of unsupervised locomotion, allegedly owing to a risk of servo seizure should they remain dormant for prolonged duration? They were, once, permitted to perambulate during the diurnal hours also, however, ensuing the incident of '87, such practice was termi