
(VENT. DO NOT VOTE HOLY SHIT)
This... Is long overdue.
Sunday.
Oh, how I've bottled this up for MONTHS. FUCKING MONTHS.
It started when she first commented on a comic I posted as a sneak peak as an announcement for my old series, Fallen Kingdom. Sunday commented (NOT DM'D, COMMENTED IN PUBLIC SPACE) that she missed when it was just her boosting, and that she missed the old me. I was confused and tried comforting her, saying it was okay and that I missed it too, but she said it was PITY, rather than my genuine sympathy and concern, then I called her by a name she doesn't go by. By then, she had not updated her profile, and she had not told me beforehand that she was changing her name, so then she got insulted at ME for calling her it and I didn't talk with her for a bit, assuming giving space was what was needed at the situation. I wasn't medicated at all, and I was still figuring out a lot of things, including my SA, so this was kindling to my anxiety. I wanted to tell her, believe me, I did, but I couldn't. From past experience with people who've done that, they don't react well, so I didn't say shit.
Then there was the joke.
For those who don't know, I made a pretty shitty joke, that was obviously a joke as I am a strictly Anti AI person, that I'd rather listen to that brainrot AI voca song than see another drama here, when this place was a dumpsterfire. I know, it was bad on my part for making the joke, and I won't dodge accountability, but this spiraled. She said she couldn't support me anymore and genuinely took a few stabs at my psyché. I told her it was a joke, and she NEVER apologized for her words. Fooshy, this was before the Spectrum incident, saw this convo (again as she didn't DM me so we could settle this privately) and was angry on my behalf. I felt sick and guilty, as a MAJOR people pleaser back then (Sunday knew this as I had a post up about my kins and one was a people pleaser, and I confirmed this). I actually threw up. (More is to be added)

(addition to the last post. Do not vote)
Sunday then got offended that I didn't defend her against Fooshy, when obviously I had been sick (throwing up) and I wasn't on during the time of those posts. Only after she said this, I kindly asked Fooshy to take down the posts and lied that I was fine, and he did. Settled, right? Eh, not really.
I grew more distant from her, not knowing which was the real Sunday, and eventually just... Putting on a mask when she was around of when I was the old "Fake" instead of me. When that callout post came out about the alt, I knew if I said anything, people would see me as a backstabber, so I feigned being confused. I was terrified of people siding with her if I said anything, because she's more credible. I know me even talking about this is risking my own reputation, but I can't fucking keep quiet anymore.
I know, someone's gonna probably tell her about this even though she's not here. I don't fucking care anymore! I just needed to get this out of here. I know my own actions were less than ideal, again, I'm not running from accountability and I will take punishment as needed, I just...
I needed these thoughts to be put into words. For people to know about this.
Thanks for listening, I guess.
Feel free to unfollow, I don't care.
---Mizuki

@Mega007