i'm used to stupid-ass "i'm better than you at food" shit from my mom but i don't goddamn need it from my dad too.

( choice quotes; cw: food policing, etcCollapse )

Okay, so:

In 2010 (my first year writing in fandom) I wrote (and posted) about 75,000 words.

In 2011, I wrote (and posted) about 53,000 words.

In 2012, I wrote (and posted) about 130,000 words.

So far, counting two original WsIP (one with feels_like_fire) and NaNoWriMo (also an original WIP) and everything from AO3, I'm at about 205,000 words on the year. Minus the unposted stuff (60K NaNoWriMo as of today; the other two are 7K and 16K as of this moment), that's still 122,000 words posted on AO3, which is very close to what I did last year. I don't really have anything on the horizon for fannish stuff, although I may dig around fandom_stocking and see what I can do.

I have no idea what I'm doing. It's awesome.

OKAY.

Can we have a brief conversation about how I am a horrible person? Or not, whichever. But I am, indeed, a horrible person--the kind of person who has stories written for her but doesn't notice for a week. A WEEK. A FULL SEVEN DAYS. IT WAS POSTED ON NOVEMBER 10th AND TODAY IS NOVEMBER 17th AND I FINALLY NOTICED AND READ IT.

Yeah, I've been busy, but THAT IS NO EXCUSE.

So, without further ado, I present you a recommendation for the story I got for avengersfest: An Honest Exchange, by anonymous, obviously (reveals are the 22nd).

It is about five thousand words long and it's rated E/NC-17 and it contains: Pepper still with Extremis, Natasha and Pepper talking about stuff, Natasha meta, Natasha and Steve sparring, honest conversations about desires and needs, straightforward requests for what one wants/needs, consent, and oh yeah, hot porn. :D

GO YE FORTH AND READ AND LEAVE LOVE TO MAKE UP FOR ME BEING TERRIBLE, PLEASE.

Title: Footprints in Mysterious Fire
Word Count: 30,000
Rating: NC-17.
Fandom/Universe: Mostly Marvel Cinematic Universe, with a little stuff mined from the comics for backstory
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff. Nick Fury, Clint Barton, and Phil Coulson do all show up briefly, but the rest of the Avengers do not appear on screen.
Warnings: One character, an OC, is injured to the point of needing amputation, but it is not on screen nor is it graphically described. Another character (Clint) suffers burns, described somewhat. Otherwise, canon-typical violence. Some mild D/s, graphic sex.
Summary: Someone is following Steve Rogers around and shooting at him and the people near him. Natasha Romanoff is following right behind him to see who it is. When it turns out to be the Winter Soldier, the question then becomes: who is the Winter Soldier, and why does he look so familiar to both Steve and Natasha?
Author’s Notes: Thanks ever so much to feels-like-fire, for providing the initial inspiration, and adorable_eggplant, for the beta work. Title from A November Night, by Sara Teasdale.

Art by viviantanner here!

It's been a while since I updated, but I am not, in fact, dead.

So!

• I turned in my marvel_bang with 25,000 words and then finished the actual first draft with 29,500. It's . . . I mean, it's done? But I might have some macrostructure issues. We'll see.


• feels_like_fire and I finished Whoever Fights Monsters, technically the sequel to her Slow Dancing in a Burning Room but sort of a standalone, a White Collar/James Bond (OOQ) crossover. It's over 107,000 words long, which, holy shit. And of course we've already started planning for part III. Of course.


• I'm staring at two things right now (most others have sort of fallen off the radar at the moment; yeah, I know): my avengersfest assignment, and a quasi-original-fic sort of thing. With the latter I'm desperately trying to get rid of the endemic racism in a world where there are elves and vampires and werewolves, but only since the '60s or something. (Yeah, I'm doing the crappiest worldbuilding ever. I do not care at all.)


• Related to that, feels_like_fire and I are celebrating what we're calling TROPEFEST 2013: write whatever the hell you want and worry about how many tropes it's falling into later. Anyone who wants to join is free to! I'd have banners and icons but I'm terrrrrible with that sort of thing.


• The kitten (who is almost three, by the way) has been eating cookies out of the cupboard. Even though we put a rubber band across the handles so she shouldn't be able to get in. That doesn't seem to stop her. *sigh*


• I survived my parents visiting. ( Barely.Collapse )


You?

Wow, so, uh, it's been a while. I'm not dead. I just . . . this time of year, I rarely seem to write much. Oh well. Have some random two-hour fluff.

Title: Another Kind of Prisoner’s Dilemma
Rating: T (language? I guess?)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe (some time after Avengers, not IM3 compliant)
Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Pepper Potts, Jarvis
Summary: Tony and Steve wake up tied to a bed.
Word Count: 1550
Content Advisory: Nothing I can think of other than the inherent “tied to a bed” issue.
Notes: Thanks to adorb_eggplant for misreading a text and inspiring me, and thanks to feels_like_fire for beta-ing. :D

( Steve woke up.Collapse )

Number of people trying to talk me into starting my own ebook publishing company: 3

Number of people trying to talk me out of it: 1 (me)

( some explanationCollapse )

stolen from ericadawn16

1. What's making you happy in one of your fandoms right now?
2. What's making you happy in your personal life right now?
3. What's making you happy in your work/academic life right now?
4. Name one celebrity crush.
5. Name one food you currently enjoy.
6. Name one kind of fic that always makes you happy.
7. Name one pairing that historically makes you happy.
8. Be randomly happy.

( my answers!Collapse )

I had a really, really productive weekend. I think mostly because of the deadline of feels_like_fire's birthday (Tuesday).

Title: The Best Ways to Shut Up Tony Stark (also on AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Tony; Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Nick Fury
Summary: Tony, Steve, a college AU, and a mud pit. And then cleanup. Dirty, dirty cleanup.
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Word Count: 9150
Content notes/warnings: [click to see]Rimming, but it's in a shower if that helps.
Author's notes: Written for feels_like_fire upon the occasion of her birthday, and betaed by danisnotasynonymforshitty (tumblr) and adorb_eggplant. Thanks so much to those two, without whom a couple of hilarious typos may have been perpetuated upon the world, and so many more commas would have run free. More notes in the first comment.

( One, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen . . .Collapse )

Title: Hardest of Hearts (also on AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Characters: Bruce Banner/Loki; they're the only ones who show up
Summary: This is, yes, the Bruce and Loki Canadian Shack-Snowstorm-Oh No There's Only One Bed story you never knew you needed in your life.
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Word Count: 13,600 total
Content notes/warnings: Nothing I can think of but please comment if I'm mistaken.
Author's notes: Written for jou. Thanks to feels_like_fire for beta work and also encouragement, and the title, which is from a Florence + the Machine song. Also, the book summarized in there somewhere is Vision in White by Nora Roberts.

Back to Part 1

( Part 2Collapse )

Title: Hardest of Hearts (also on AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Characters: Bruce Banner/Loki; they're the only ones who show up
Summary: This is, yes, the Bruce and Loki Canadian Shack-Snowstorm-Oh No There's Only One Bed story you never knew you needed in your life.
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Word Count: 13,600 total
Content notes/warnings: Nothing I can think of but please comment if I'm mistaken.
Author's notes: Written for jou. Thanks to feels_like_fire for beta work and also encouragement, and the title, which is from a Florence + the Machine song. Also, the book summarized in there somewhere is Vision in White by Nora Roberts.

( Part 1Collapse )

Anyone want to do a real quick beta (it probably doesn’t need much work and I definitely need it back by Tuesday) for feels-like-fire’s birthday fic? It’s Avengers, Tony/Steve, college!au, and decidedly NC-17, 9200 words, but like I said, I don’t think it needs much more than a read-through.

Yeah, I know it’s Easter but I can’t be the only one whose Easter plans involve Netflix and beer and maybe a YouTube video of the Hallelujah Chorus just for the hell of it.

I’m done drafting, and there is one possible squick, but I’m going to let you email (circ dot bamboo at gmail dot com) or PM me for it if you’re interested. I’d apologize for the late notice but I started it around 4pm Friday, so.

Got two, thanks, but if someone's going to be in the mood to beta some Bond/Q BDSM-y fisting fic in a couple of days (maybe as early as tomorrow), shoot me an email.

Why, yes; yes, I did just write an extra 600 words past brain-death time so feels_like_fire and I could hit 40,000 words total on our White Collar/Skyfall Epic Crossover of Doom.

Thanks for asking.

(This thing is going to hit, like, 80K easily.)

(Also, cowriting is kind of addictive.)

(I should note that we haven't even been writing for two weeks yet.)

Title: Somewhere That's Green (or on tumblr, or at AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Characters: Bruce Banner/Betty Ross; Bruce, Betty, Tony, Pepper, JARVIS, Audrey II.
Summary: Bruce expected an evening at the theater to contain excitement and drama--but somehow he'd expected it all to stay on the stage.
Rating: NC-17/Explicit/Adult
Word count: THERE WAS A 5000-WORD LIMIT (but it has 5077 according to AO3)
Content notes: Canon-typical but non-explicit violence; explicit sex
Author's notes: Written for the Marvel Throwdown, run by the marvelous Knotta. (I won!) Thanks to adorb_eggplant , who doesn't have a tumblr and therefore couldn't vote, for giving me a quick read-through and making sure I'm not completely nuts. More notes in the first comment.

( So, I have this ticket to a Broadway show, and I can't use it.Collapse )

( cranky rantingCollapse )

Oh, wait, I'm waiting to see if Anne Hathaway (and her magnificent dress) wins.

ETA: SHE DID! Yay.

Also, I am hideously amused that they're playing them off with the theme from Jaws.

• First and foremost, I'm one of the contestants in the current round of the Marvel Throwdown, with a pairing of Bruce/Betty and a prompt of "date night" with a few other things, so I'm scrambling through that.


• Then I'm trying to finish jou's Xmas/birthday fic, which is at around 9000 words and will probably end up in the 13,000-15,000-word range.


• Then feels_like_fire and I have a giant White Collar/Skyfall crossover we're plotting out, and that's a lot of fun at the moment.


• Then the Tony/Pepper/Steve Thing of Massiveness and Feels(TM) is poking at my brain again.


• Somewhere on the back burner, I've got:
  
  • A sequel to a thing that I wrote more than two years ago that I've got about 9000 words of and could stand to finish, even though I don't think anyone cares about the story
  
  
  • The rest of the Stevetasha series (there's an overarching thing that I could finish)
  
  
  • The sequel to the 00Q thing I wrote, which . . . I have no idea what's going to happen, really

And then all the other things crowding into my consciousness.

How are you-all?

I apologize for the extreme randomness, but I can't complain about this on fb for various reasons (mostly being that the mother of the recipient is one of my friends--well, actually my cousin, but still) so:

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS VERY SMALL TODDLER SWEATER I'M KNITTING AND IT JUST HIT ME ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO AND I STILL HAVE A SLEEVE AND A HALF AND SOME FINISHING TO GO BUT THE PATTERN IS BORING, BUT NOT BORING ENOUGH THAT I CAN KNIT WITHOUT WATCHING THE PATTERN AND TICKING OFF ROWS, AND ALSO I HATE KNITTING THINGS FLAT BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE TO SEW THEM TOGETHER LATER, SO WHY ON EARTH AM I KNITTING THIS PATTERN AFTER ALL?!

(answer: because it's cute.)

My next sweater is going to be stockinette in the round. MILES AND MILES OF MINDLESS KNITTING, WOO.

So there was that time where I complained about my poor life choices on Tumblr and then Kelly Sue DeConnick (who wrote the comic I was trying to buy) picked it up and then her editor, Stephen Wacker, OH, OFFERED TO SEND ME A COPY.

Yeah, that was kind of fun. :-D

( pro-Beyonce rantCollapse )

BEYONCE IS FUCKING AWESOME.

[content note: sex, orgasms, physiology, and quoted use of 'cum' as a verb *shudder*]

There's another one of those "men don't work like that" posts going around Tumblr--find it here--and I just have this urge to make a comment on one of the items, specifically #6:

( it gets explicit in hereCollapse )

[cn: suicide]

Orin Kerr is one of the few lawyers in the country who has been both a prosecutor and a defense attorney for IP and privacy related cases involving the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act and the Wire Fraud statutes. He defended Lori Drew in United States v. Drew (you might remember the case as involving the girl who committed suicide after getting bullied on MySpace and the government prosecuting the mother under this act for violating the TOS of MySpace) and, despite his presence on a libertarian-to-conservative legal blog, has no dog in this race. In fact, he's been calling for re-writing the CFAA for more than two years now, because he dislikes how vague it has become.

I highly recommend reading his extremely even-handed treatment of the case. It gets a tad legalese-y, because the main audience of the websites is lawyers, law professors, and law students, but it contains some very important information.

Part 1: The Charges
Part 2: The Prosecutor's Actions

And, as a bonus, Kerr's work on the CFAA.

The articles are not perfect; he falls into a couple of logical fallacies, but they do not invalidate his main argument. He apparently doesn't know literally everything there is to know about how JSTOR works, but he knows a lot more about how the CFAA is charged than anyone else on the planet.

I'm out of town visiting family (yes, still) so really, if you posted something, there's probably a 90% chance I missed it.

I wrote about 130,000 words this year, which is kind of strange, considering that around May or June I was thinking this would be my least-productive year ever. Lots of new fandoms, and I love all of them.

I've got awesome New Year's plans, although the person I specifically came into town to see won't be there, alas, but there's everyone else and booze and whatnot. I might do an actual meme later but I don't have the brain for it right now.

(The family-visiting has been fairly decent but it's stressful no matter what. *shrugs* I conked out for about 2-3 hours this afternoon and I don't regret a moment of it.)

Hope everyone's having a fabulous time, or at least that you haven't had your power go out during a snowstorm.

Title: Lay Hands On Me (or on AO3)
Fandom: Skyfall (Daniel Craig Bond, generally)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: Bond/Q (00Q); Moneypenny and some OCs also show up
Word Count: 5400
Summary: Bond goes to a BDSM club to get Q out of his mind, and guess who he runs into there.
Content Advisory: BDSM (flogging, whipping); also porn
Author's notes: feels_like_fire's holiday present! Or something. YAY! Totally her fault, top to bottom, for complaining that there wasn't enough BDSM in the 00Q fandom. Thanks to imachar for the beta and Brit-pick. All problems are of course my own. Title from "Wolf Like Me" by TV on the Radio.

( Bond, you need to get laid.Collapse )

Title: Time and Place (or on AO3)
Rating: PG

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Characters: Maria Hill/Nick Fury, Natasha Romanov
Word Count: 4200
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, nor am I making any money off of any of this.
Summary: Maria Hill gets tapped for a society gig, with Nick Fury as her dinner partner for the evening.
Warnings: None
Author's notes: Thanks to adorb_eggplant for beta work. Written for igrockspock for the avengersfest exchange. Anonymous until yesterday, which, for the record, is a really long time.

( Hill, what size bra do you wear?Collapse )

I don't suppose anyone's up for a quick beta and/or Britpick on a 00Q BDSM (whipping) fic? Don't need to know canon in particular.

... Yeah, I thought not. Oh well. Hey, lookit I got a new tag.