Confused

Okay so there is this guy most of you can probably guess who. He's like my best friend right now. I am getting feelings for him besides friendship and I want to act on those feelings but I don't want to fuck up the friendship if I do decide to do so. He is like the sweetest guy you'll ever meet he was there for me when Jesse was an asshole and fucked around with HER! Then after his girlfriend broke up with him I was there to be support (not in a sexual way). He has been so understanding through all the screwed up stuff I've had to deal with. I have been there for him. I mean we can cuddle and then go back to being friends the next minute its great. I don't want to lose that if I did I don't know what I would do.

I still can't get over the fact that Jesse would fuck such an ugly cow. But thats besides the point of what I am trying to figure out. I want to kiss him (not Jesse!) so bad but I don't have guts to do it. He was standing under mistletoe the other night and just kind of looking at me. I asked him did he actually want me to kiss him and he said I was kidding. I asked him what would be have done if I did kiss him and he told me that he would've kissed me back. I am kicking myself for not taking that chance that night and done something gutsy. It'll happen I hope, but like I said I don't want to mess up the awesome friendship I have with him. I like what we have and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

<3 Char