| ow |
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| 04:54pm 24/11/2008 |
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mood:  sore
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one palm badly bruised the other with a gash
check
heavily restricted movement in neck
check
bruised and stiff shoulders
check
damaged muscles and heavy bruising on both legs
check
bad hangover
check
sometimes you don't need memories to know you had a good weekend ^_^ |
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| 04:14pm 12/10/2008 |
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mood: lonely
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....I have so many wonderful friends who I care about deeply and care about me but right now I feel so alone...it's probably a bit of the effects of last night which ended rather badly but also just a way I've been feeling recently...
Everyone knows I'm a little confused when it cmes to what I want in terms of relationships and I know I need. To sort that out before really pursuing anymore or I'll just hurt someone else....but I can't stand being alone I miss having someone there...really i'd just like a companion someone to spend time with enjoy things with and share affections...that might sound a lot like just a relationship but yeah I dunno....just ranting, should probably ignore this
Pitty things are never that simple :/ |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| ergh quarter century >_< but yey kittens :D |
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| 10:55am 09/10/2008 |
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mood: bored
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Birthday tomorrow I be olds :/...at least people keep assuming i'm a teenager :P
I should be getting kittens hopefully(if we can find some in the time i have before work...could get postponed) and/or going shopping at mame :D yey for pretty new shiny's
and Covenent on Saturday :D who's going? |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| I blame Robbie for this |
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| 02:02pm 31/07/2008 |
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mood:  tired
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A few days ago a friend of mine in melbourne posted on his LJ he was getting a gaming tattoo, I thought that's pretty cool but I wouldn't get one...don't want a tattoo..still cool
two days later ( I think two days) my brain woke me up with one of it's "OH hey I got an idea poke poke poke) things since then i've been working on little concepts for it when I'm on the train and such or when one occurs to me
basically i'm considering getting across my chest (probably from the middle of my ribs to just under my collar bone) a collage tattoo of tons of gaming characters interacting with each other in various ways stretching out over to my upper arms then looping round to connect again on my back....this probably wouldn't all be done at once..I'd get the chest done then add characters over the years as new 'classic' characters appear...
The centrepiece was going to be sephiroth and cloud clashing together (of course) probably with Aerith floating dead in the lifestream underneath them with the lifestream extending out as an underline for the whole piece...other ideas of characters to put in included sonic and mario kicking the crap out of each other (neither winning) Kirby in the process of inhaling a moogle riding a chocobo it desperately trying to run away...larry laffer (leisure suit larry) 'hitting' on a little sister with a big daddy standing behind him about to slaughter him...
sam (sam & max) insult sword fighting guybrush threepwood with max part way through lobbing a prinny into the fray....jigglypuff with her texta out drawing all over a sleeping Nu (chrono trigger creature) Lucca working on Gato or Robo (probably Gato, again Chrono Trigger)
A companion cube and a 'no place for hideo' (metal gear) box sitting next too each other with the girl from portal standing on the cube kissing snake standing on the box with snake looking very suprised and a big ! above his head
a katamari rolling stuff up with a fruit fucker stuck in it :P oh and Niko (GTAIV) standing around drinking hot coffee :P
there's other ideas as well and alternates for these idea and plenty more I want to think of situations for....
So who wants to talk me out of/into getting this or add ideas? :D
basically I was posting this to see if people thought it was a terrible idea to get done cause i'm seriously considering it |
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Read 16 - Post |
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| It's been a while |
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| 09:37pm 19/05/2008 |
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mood: tired
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I realised I haven't posted in ages after that hiding thing partially due to the old reasons of not wanting to discuss certain things so as not to upset some people the things and people change but the reason stays constant, so I'll just be vague and let people know I'm alive
I'm not hiding any more haven't been for a bit...well have been on and off but not like I was when I posted that last message... I've gotten a job first in my life...Working at White Dwarf Books, a sci-fi/fantasy book store in the city, it's just casual so small hours (though was basically full time for the first few weeks while the boss was in Japan) but it's great, easy work and the customers tend not to be idiots thanx to the whole book store thing, that and working for a friend and with friends makes the whole transition into the workplace thing infinitely easier.
Other than that yeah I dunno, reading a lot due to the new job which was a nice incentive to get back into reading again...playing a fair bit of rock band (god that game is awesome even if it does brake fingers) oh and GTAIV (which I went to the midnight launch for..that was fun ^_^) which is also awesome though I'm more taken with rock band .... yeah and being thankful for people being wonderfully understanding and caring through difficult situations...still having some trouble with some familiar ghosts rising up but I guess I really am doing better nowadays with how things have been going...not easy but I'm not running...though I think a lot of the credit for that goes to the other people in the situation...
Guess I'll leave it there for now...there's a heap of stuff I've skipped I'm sure..hell I haven't posted in what 2 and a half months (wow seems like longer)
Oh and we almost had a major crash the other night!!..on the way home from sin all the bolts fell of Ceri's front left tire which of course caused it to run away from the car leaving the car on three wheels...luckily this happened near home with no other cars around at low speed...if it had happened about 5 minutes earlier we would have been on the freeway and possibly dead ^_^...that and apparently when he took the car in the mechanics found that there was something missing from his brakes which hasn't been there the whole time he owned the car and it was just a matter of time till his brakes randomly failed (which explained what was happening to his car earlier that day...they almost crapped out completely then got better) so we almost had no brakes as well...it's such a pretty car(metallic purple/pink old mini clubman) yet it wants us dead...oh well the price of beauty
*edit* oh and I've started stock trading finally..it's been going well have basically doubled my savings in a month which is pretty yey sept has just slipped under the radar will all the busy |
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| Hiding |
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| 04:39pm 03/03/2008 |
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ok so now I've moved on from the familiar old stage of me screwing myself up by wanting to run away from everything onto the even more familiar old stage of me screwing people I care about up by wanting to run away from everything...gotta love what happens when I pretend I'm all better
To the people I've confused over this I'm sorry...I feel like you should all hate me for this because of how little reason there is beyond my own personal crap...this is hurting you or someone you care about just cause of my issues...I know I hate me for this right now...
To Kat...I don't know what's going on in my head..I promise that when I do I'll let you know more clearly than I was able too...I'm so sorry for what I've put you through
I hope this message doesn't make things worse or hurt people more...
right now though I really am taking time out and looking for the help I need...call it running away or hiding or dealing or whatever but I think it's what I need to do right now, there's too many temptations to do things that will only hurt people more if I don't...hopefully it won't last long but I really can't say..Also while I am hiding..if there is anything you need to ask me I will still answer my phone... |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| whats happening... |
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| 01:40pm 27/02/2008 |
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OK this really isn't good...
my old self is starting to resurface and I don't know why...the more scary part is how damn tempting it is to be him again...
My tolerance is coming back I think...bad things are so much more appealing and so so much harder to resist...as is running away and hiding from the world...
Maybe I have just pushed myself too hard recently...but I don't know...this really isn't good |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| piccies finally |
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| 06:08pm 20/12/2007 |
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I have some other stuff to post about but that'll be done later for the moment I have pictures from the weekend (I've been lurking on flickr for days now) and I promised I'd post them so
( PicsCollapse ) |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| Wish me luck |
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| 12:40am 16/12/2007 |
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mood:  anxious
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Con today was awesome tomorrow ought to be too (might enter the cosplay contest tomorrow even though there was another wolfwood there today who WON the best male costume prize :'( I had a better outfit than him too...though he had a kick arse cross (the non covered version so all pretty weaponness)
but yes subject things
Wish me luck for tomorrow...I'll either be back sunday night horribly mopey and depressed or ecstatic and bouncy with a small possibility of coming back simply kicking myself for being a wuss...tomorrows the day |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| The Cross |
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| 08:53pm 14/12/2007 |
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mood: exhausted
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OWWWWWWWWWWW
OK I know I've gone quiet again, all is good I just dissappeared from most things for a while because first my immune system didn't like the recent surge of activity and I've gotten repeatedly sick (damn this being social and exposing myself to various bugs :P) and also the activity meant the time I did have between being sick got entirely absorbed with trying to catch up on things/people/events that had been being neglected due to sickness...now having said that what's been consuming me the past week is...
Some of you know that a few of the new friends I've met recently are a group of incredibly talented cos players, they and many others have convinced me to go to Wai-con this weekend which will oddly be my first (purely) anime convention (took me long enough)...
now along with going to the convention I decided to join in with the cos playing fun and find out what all the pain and grief was about (cause we all know if there's voluntary pain and grief I'm there ;P) so to that end I have just (like 10 minutes ago) finished building an almost 7' tall wooden crucifix as the main piece for a Wolfwood costume (Google Wolfwood and Trigun for those who don't watch anime if your curious :P) While the wig I bought turned out a little average (much thanx to Shasta for helping me get it too a point where it actually fit me ^_^) I'm really happy with the cross and the other pieces are good too, so for my first cos play effort (not the last I have 2 more planned for swancon and want to make a far more elaborate one for Wai-Con next year) and considering I had all of a week after I finally got round to deciding a character and starting I think I did pretty well (with tons of help from parents and support from friends :) ) I'll post photos once I get them after this weekend :)
I don't think the neighbours came outside while I was finishing the cross off...hopefully they didn't...They haven't really met me and they might get a little scared seeing me sitting in the backyard hammering away at a giant crucifix :P
Now hopefully I'll manage to make it through the whole con without accidently braining someone with the Crucifix....it's pretty fuckin hefty |
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| wtf |
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| 04:23am 18/11/2007 |
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mood: WTF
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Weird night on so many levels...
Sin of course..had fun..
Got randomly pounced on by someone I haven't seen since 2000 and I only knew for a few weeks really and they recognised me and remembered my name O_O theres an odd history behind it and stuff but it's 4:30 can't be bothered typing it out. But they weren't someone I ever expected too see again and especially not have recognise me so easily (apparently according to Helen I haven't changed at all basically since I was 16 :P). Not a bad thing (running into this person) just a random thing...still a bit stunned by it
some other strangeness....get the feeling it's going to be a theme for things in general for a little bit...hopefully a good strangeness to all things but more probably just a strange strangeness which is not necissarily a bad strangeness...anyway this post was just supposed to be WTF odd night...
so yes
WTF
:P |
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Post |
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| RIP Dawson Bradford |
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| 11:22am 15/11/2007 |
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mood: sad
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I hope release from the trap your body and mind has been gives you the peace you deserve and you are reunited with your wife you miss so much.
You were a wonderful kind and gentle man and even though I didn't get to know you as closely as I would have liked you still taught me the value in being gentle and polite, the value of a gentleman...
I'll miss you deeply
Goodbye Grandad |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| EYES |
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| 02:11am 22/10/2007 |
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mood: exhausted
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ok I'm exhuasted still a bit sick long weekend kinda stressy night but all is good now I'm just wiped so I'll make this short
went to sexpo today (some fun stuff some boring stuff good for a visit :)...go on the ride there it's awesome) ceri and I bought some cosmetic contact lenses...here's the pics ^_^
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Read 3 - Post |
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| a few awesome things |
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| 11:16pm 17/10/2007 |
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mood:  sick
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Ellen and Kitty look what Tim Curry's latest role is http://imdb.com/name/nm0000347/
Everyone else check this out
oh and I shouldn't be let near ebay...ordered a bunch of stuff including one of these
*edit side note* looks like the guy who played Albert did end up being cast as Rincewind...old but at least he's a good actor...didn't realise he was the voice of count duckula and danger mouse O_o...the casting for twoflower however confuses me greatly...and Filch(David Bradley) as Cohen seems like an awesome pic :D (such a pratchett fanboy...but he rules so it's ok) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Wedding |
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| 09:07am 17/10/2007 |
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mood: tired
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Was at my cousins wedding on Saturday...It was incredible...fancy dress, the theme was come as a actor/movie character ^_^. The bride was Velma Kelly(Chicago)I think and the groom was Dick Tracy. There were tons of great costumes there and thanx to my family on that side being nuts it was a fun day...the bridal party were well drunk before the ceremony (sept the bride and groom they just got drunk straight after) there was TONS of wine and beer and champagne and great food...
Somehow they'd managed to find two giant academy awards Oscar statues (like 10 foot tall) to hire and put in the marquee in the reception (who the hell hires out that)
Oh and they played all sorts of movie music over the night..when I arrived someone was playing "A whole new world" on violin and at the reception they played at least 3 Star Wars songs (the imperial march when the best man came up to give his speech :P) and the Flash Gordon theme song OMG
Great speeches like my Uncle telling the groom that it's all his responsibility that the bride is here tonight and 31 years ago he was doing it for him :P
Oh and the Bride and Grooms dance....omg...one of my other cousins is a very good dancing instructor and he'd been working with them for ages on this routine it was incredible..like watching something out of a movie not just them dancing a whole performance too "all that jazz"
Oh I went as Willy Wonka btw Pics after the cut. The pics are a bit crappy cause it was very windy where the ceremonies were and the camera died almost straight away so there's none of the bride and groom... There were ones taken at the reception but I don't have them so figured I'd post these.
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Yes its a crappy wig :P and I know this is probably boring as hell to everyone else but meh ^_^ it was really awesome.
Why am I awake this early >_ |
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| OLD |
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| 09:47pm 10/10/2007 |
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mood:  Old
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Hmm...day started a bit slow...odd for a day which was supposed to be busy from the second I woke up till I went to sleep...but I'm not complaining...
Woke up played TF2 (brilliant btw) Dad cancelled going to the gym (thank god) then arrived at 2 to take me out shopping for a computer chair (which I may not be getting for a couple of months cause it takes them ages to make)...
After that got food went to Nana's went home saw Mum for like 15 minutes then went out to laser tag ...which was awesome fun (I came first in one game...with a little help from a faulty pack apparently..but third in the second game on my own :D)...saw many peoples there bounced around a lot much goodness...
Got home plugged my new keyboard in and squealed at the pretty...plugged my headphones in put on Less Talk More Rokk (of course) and OMG EARGASM...these are going to make me deaf...but I'll be a happy deaf
And the shit part...places send you birthday emails right...like forums your subscribed too..I'm on a social site called okcupid has lots of cool quiz's and stuff (used to be sparkmatch back in the day for people old enough to remember thespark)...well anyway enough of me proving I'm sad...they sent me a birthday email with this in it
"Happy Birthday, Chaotic-Lusts!
Still single?"
....
okcupid = king of the buzzkill....fuckers
Tomorrow costume shopping for the wedding on Saturday(it's Oscars/movies themed)...people(many people independantly oddly) have convinced me to go as something Depp...which sounds entertaining...So I'm going to be looking for a Wonka/captain jack outfit/something else I find
stuff...this was going to be a small post...I'm just rambling...and I type"..." a lot... Time to go
*waves* |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Birthdayness |
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| 11:33am 05/10/2007 |
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mood: tired
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Hey all
First just wanted to say thanks heaps and huge hugs to everyone for all the responses to my last post...it means a lot...Like I said I'll probably be up and down a while, right now I'm ok but yeah...I did say I had a lot of wonderful friends and that proved it...thank you all
ok now other stuff.. It's my 24th (so fucking old >_<) next Wednesday..and since I can't do birthday celebrations the following Saturday due to my cousins wedding they have to be this Saturday(i.e. tomorrow)...I know it's bugger all notice I just haven't been up for organising stuff which is why I'm not having a party or anything. I will however be going to Sin that night and would love it if as many of you as are able could come along. I'm not sure when I plan on heading in there...probably round 11 11:30 since things don't really get started there till almost 12...If anyone would like to come round here before hand and do random stuff/laugh at me trying to put on make-up etc please feel free, I don't have anything arranged for the Saturday (that I'm aware of) so just let me know when your coming and I'll be here ^_^
umm..otherwise if enough people seriously object to the lack of party/gathering celebrations I may organise some small thing for next Friday or the Saturday after the wedding.
So stuffness...I'm getting old...come buy my fairy bombs...they are the elixir of youth |
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| Hitori |
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| 08:32pm 03/10/2007 |
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mood: Alone
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bit all over the place atm...
have been doing so much going out heaps have had more energy than I think i've ever had and probably coping with the increased activity and stuff better than I ever have in my life...
That being said I'm feeling pretty shit atm...I've said before I try to avoid ranty posts on here for various reasons which I can't elaborate on for various reasons but yeah atm fuck it...
Feeling very alone despite all the friends I have who are wonderful too me and I love dearly...just need something I don't have and I have been missing a long time...keep thinking of people long gone I'll never see again, people that were hurt because of how fucked up my head and emotions are which I know I'll regret forever...just really not good right now, don't know how anyone can help which is why I haven't really told anyone specifically but just needed to say it somewhere so here works...
This has been building for a while and probably will continue to do so for a bit cause I can't honestly see the cause of it changing anytime soon
Don't know what else to say...feeling a bit pathetic for feeling like this...which kinda makes it worse in itself...then again I always feel like that...
I don't handle being alone. I know I'm not in many ways, but in one way, a way which is very important to me I am and have been a long time...too long |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| back and hectic and umm...oops |
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| 10:52pm 16/09/2007 |
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mood:  bouncy
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Back in Perth now the trip over east was fantastic conflicted on returning cause I miss people here and wanted to sort stuff out over here but I'm really going to miss my friends over east too >_<....Perth seriously needs to move to the east coast....
Had LOADS of stuff on since I got back, tonight is the first time I've really had to sit at my comp alone and not be getting ready for something....flew in 8am Thursday morning (no sleep the night before cause it was easier than waking up at like 3am) then had Ellen's play on Thursday night (which was brilliant) with loads of IZ peoples which made me nervous as hell but yeah :P, then Kat's 21st on Friday which was very cool brilliant resteraunt then zone 3 for 4 hours and drinks after tons of fun..didn't get to sleep till after 7 so great night ^_^
then yeah Sin on Saturday and soooooo many people were there that I haven't seen in ages...like 3 cammies...bunch of people I've never seen there before but know from various places or through various people it was great...Oh and they have absinthe+energy drink in a can now OMG Fairy Bombs...so cool
One side note though...while I was having a great time at sin I'd taken some of my anti-stress pills so I could handle the social factor a little easier and had had a couple of drinks and was extremely relaxed enjoying myself etc....I did kind of do something (well not quite do but yeah) a little stupid that I shouldn't have...much apologies to the person involved in this hope I didn't create troubles :/
But yes aside from lack of sleep and me maybe not having the best judgement things have been really good...oh and some guy elbowing me in the head at the taxi rank in front of Perth train station...that was random...literally just walked past and elbowed me (very intentionally) in the head...apparently one of his friends then muttered something about us being in their territory O_o (Perth train station...) but yeah he missed hitting properly so it didn't hurt just made me O_o then laugh cause it was kinda random...some people were wondering why I didn't trip him or jump him or something since we outnumbered them...tried explaining I'm a pacifist and since he did just keep walking I would have had to 'start' the fight it would have been vengence rather than self defence...but yeah
ok this is long I'm rambling and I even tried to summarize just be thankful I didn't go into heaps of detail :P....oh I'm loving living in this house it's cool ^_^
ohhh shiny big daddy
*wanders away from LJ rambling* |
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