oxygen, rain, my sons, dvr, U2, landrover

wasn't a bad PEL day, had 1 pt together and a brief laugh over bifocals (we are that old) and omg he laughed actually "hee, hee, hee"
I want to send him an email telling him how much better my day is when i work with him and then can we have lunch... or s*x, but that would be evidential so I won't, at least not the non lunch part

B conversations too; separate house, his unhappiness, his disappointment, bleth, f-him
but I don't run, I don't go do I, suck

wow 3rd post in one evening
but today's moment blew me away

PEL was out waiting for/on a high maintenance pt with out his layers of fleece and jacket, I really wanted to help him, I may have been able to relate to pt more
as they wheeled her away, he was at the computer still, I wanted to walk up to him, press myself to his back, wrap my arms around his waist, it was such an over whelming want in the middle of the PACU, in front of the pt's family member, crazed
I want to ask him, are you married, gay, is there any chance you could want me, even just temporarily, to feel that for a minute or few

god i am insane

uhh, to the russian women out there newly following my rarely updated journal, I am an overwhelmed RN, mother of 2, who wishes I could afford a wife but can't so good luck finding your dream... but stop flist-ing me, please

finished college, became a nurse, took me 9 years over a 23 year period but I am RN BSN
almost equivalent to becoming mama

I've put all the Twilight audio books on my ipod in their own playlist and then hit shuffle and listen to the chapters out of order, bouncing between books, its very entertaining, figuring out which book I'm on, wondering if it will end before it gets to a part I love or hate (yet still love, just that they are sad & painful)
the still enabling the obsession

October 1989, New York City, Little Italy

2 guys walk out of a building and on to the sidewalk in front of 'B' & I and I swear this conversation begins and remember the accent, hair & chains, this is 1989 after all ;)

G "so Vin, where do you want to eat?"
V "I don't know Gene, where do you want to eat?"
G "yo Vin why do you got to give me so much trouble? wha do ya want to eat?"
V "what trouble, I don know, what do you want to eat?"
G "I don know..., maybe the usual?"
V "yah the usual"
G "I don know why you got to give me so much trouble."


It was so surreal, like out of a movie, sounds fresh in my head till this day,
that trip we also saw Danny Aiello walking in Little Italy, saw armoured truck guards with the guns drawn transfering money to/from a bank, got lost in Central Park for an hour from the Metropolitan Museum to Tavern on the Green and the nicest taxi driver ever drove us 5 blocks to Port Authority cause we were scared in the dark

so I have my Serenity inspired 'persevere' on my left hip/low back but it's getting that time, I have not forgotten the pain but I want more, they are empowering

cari buziak 'like' celtic 4 leaf clover on base of neck or on an ankle, her artwork is cool

Celtic animals or something on each shoulder for Dawson and Liam with a small shamrock or claddagh for Patrick, maybe a dragon and lion

and later the Welsh dragon, Scottish lion/griffin?, Irish harp?, English Unicorn?
or the Scottish thistle, English rose, Welsh daffodil (or leek, hee), Irish shamrock, I've seen some quote from Queen Victoria about the 4 intertwined
I love the number 4 but that's another post

my grandparents wedding photo, they are both in their WWII Navy uniforms, maybe Olivia's photo my boys

an acquaitence mentioned getting the Millenium Falcon, Serenity, the Enterprise, but I would want Moya, Serenity, the Tardis... not sure about Galactica

a Lotus flower representing birthing



and when I'm finally ready accomplishment or prevail in Chinese or another language

eeyore always

comfortable hands down, I look like a clown if I'm not comfortable, a big fat stupid old clown trying way to hard, where as if I just try to accent the curve but stay comfortable, movable, relaxed then no one is in any danger... of me tripping into them, popping a button in someone's eye or tearing of a head in anger and insecurity

fave outfit type; levi's hip level but above the pouch, empire waist/cleavage showing shirt, comfy keens or rocket dogs, cotton hipster unders & my freya dr who bra ;) and my queen bee bag... or legacy leather coach hippie if its fancy, hee