The Cherry Blossom Samurai

Ahh! Today's been so busy! I'm sorry I don't have time for a proper entry.

I did pick up a Kanji dictionary and a book on Japanese Grammar... When I began to look them over I realized just how ignorant I am. ^_^;; I hate to admit something like that, but grammar is hard!

I'm sure if I spend some real time with it, it won't seem that way, but it's very daunting right now.

I'll do my best!

Tomorrow a proper entry! I promise!

Inspector: "Next time, we'll be friends."
Kei: "Next time?"
Inspector: "If you're reborn."
- from the movie 'Moon Child'


Certainly reincarnation is not a new concept, but I have learned to see it in a new way. Or rather, find a new appreciation for it that I didn't have before.

This is due largely in part to the poetic speech of the Japanese.

In songs and in shows I watch they are always saying things like, "I hope someday we can meet again." or "If we are reborn into this world, I hope next time we can be friends."

Gackt, my favorite musician (as many of my friends are tired of hearing about), has many references to rebirth in his song lyrics. One example is his song 'Flower' from the Re:BORN album. The song opens with a quote;

"The words you imparted resonate within me even now. There is no future in which tomorrow never comes. Should there be such a thing as rebirth, I would want us to become entwined flowers."

The theme of rebirth continues with the last track of the same album, 'Lost Angels';

"When we are reborn, I hope we can meet again in laughter..."

I think this is a beautiful and romantic notion; that people can meet again in another time and place and be friends where there were enemies, have laughter where there were tears.

As much as I love the idea of being reborn, I have long felt that I will not be reborn again after this life. If reincarnation is real, and I believe it is, I feel that I have used up my time here in this world. I think this is why there has always been this terrible urgency to my life. This voice saying, "Hurry. Hurry now and find a purpose because this is your last chance. This is your last chance to do something great, to atone for your past."

Because of this voice, I want this one last chance to make a difference. Whether to one person or to many. I want to do something with purpose, with all my heart, so that when my time is done, I can move on with no regrets.

Even if I am not reborn again, I will still say, "I hope we can meet again. I'll be waiting for you in a place where the sun is always shining, in a place where we can laugh and smile together once more. I will be waiting to welcome you home when your own journey is done."

Growing up, I had no concept of such a thing as reincarnation. I was raised as a Presbyterian and left the church when I was 14 because I felt there were a lot of things about Christianity that didn't add up and that I didn't like. Around that same time I began to have recurring dreams about people and events that I couldn't possibly have known about. I began to study other religions, older religions and I found that I believed in reincarnation though I did not find it as beautiful a concept as I do now. Perhaps I was too young to understand, or perhaps it was because in my darkness, I couldn't see the true beauty of anything.

As I got older I studied more Eastern religions and philosophies and found they appealed more to me than Western ones. Zen, Taoism, Buddhism, Shinto and Confucianism made much more sense. They gave me a sense of peace I had been lacking.

Now that I have reached this turning point in my life, I can say that I do not know if I believe in a higher being. I don't know if there is one god or many. I believe in spiritual things such as ghosts, the transmigration of the soul, destiny, and the red thread of fate, but I am not a religious person as would pray to "god" for things. Perhaps there is a higher being out there, watching over this planet, but in my mind, they are only observing.

That may change one day, and I'll find faith again, but for now I am content without the help of the gods. I believe we have to make our own way.

Indeed, Miyamoto Musashi wrote in his final treatise;

"Respect Buddha and the gods without relying on their help."
- The Dokkōdō

And I also feel the same.


Rebirth is also used to describe a turning point in one's life. A new chapter to the journey.

I am not so cliche as to attach the word "rebirth" to my new journey in life. I do not feel as though my dream to become a samurai has caused me to be reborn, even though it has changed my entire life. Rather, I look at it as reaching Nirvana. I have become enlightened, but not reborn. I can see things clearly now, when I look back at the person I was, I can see so many things that I couldn't before. A path has been revealed to me and this enlightenment makes me realize things I hadn't before. I believe it will also serve me to help others because now I can see. I can become a light on the path, guiding others.

I wanted to expand a little on yesterday's topic; death and the samurai.

I don't know when I became aware of death, possibly around the age of 6 when my great-grandfather passed away. From then on, I would often think; "Maybe tomorrow I will die." "Maybe I won't live to be 8 or 9 or 10..." I don't know why I thought that.

From that point on, death was always on my mind. As I grew up into my teenage years, there were many times when I wanted to die and several that I almost did. But no matter how bad I felt inside, there was a little voice that said "Wait. Stop. There is still hope."

I hated that voice for a very long time. I wanted to die because I could see no happiness in my future. The agony of hope is sometimes unbearable, but if you can survive it, you can find your happiness.

When I look back now, I think I only lived not because I was afraid to die, but because I was afraid to die having never lived.

I am not afraid to die, but I want to live first. I want to serve some purpose and truly be alive before dying a good death.

I think that for modern times, the statement, "The way of the warrior is death", can be transformed into, "live a good life and die a good death."

Give all you have into your dreams, into life, live fully and without regrets and hope that your death will be just as good as your life.

Everything dies. Death is inevitable, it is something we have to face as mortal creatures. In the words of A. Sachs, "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives."

If you spend your life fearing your inevitable death, what kind of life would you have? Do not live in fear, simply live. Be alive as much as you can for as long as you can.

"Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye on us gently and then guides us into infinity."
- Cowboy Bebop

Death is not something to fear. I do not fear death because I know that on the other side there are people I love waiting for me. And when I meet them again I want to make them proud of the life I lived and the good deeds I accomplished so that they will be happy to welcome me home after my long journey.

Death is nothing but the next big adventure. I think that is why samurai were wholly unafraid to die. They lived and fought bravely without fear, so what is death to someone without fear? It is simply the next transition, the next phase for your soul.

On the other side of death is rebirth.

Which will be tomorrow's topic.

The way of the warrior is death.

Although philosophies varied little from century to century, the statement still stands; "The way of the warrior is death."

Sounds grim, ne?

The ultimate goal of any good samurai was to die a good and honorable death. That is what it means.

It was a concept that confused and repulsed Westerners when Japan opened up to the West and we were able to see more into their unique culture because they didn't understand.

I do not know that I can adequately describe such a philosophy, but let me pose it to you this way:

Would you rather die a coward or a hero?

This is something that the samurai of pre-industrial Japan thought of every day. Of course, you would want to die a hero and bring honor to your master, your family and your descendants.

It wasn't to say they lived every day wanting to die. It was quite the opposite. They bravely accepted death in order to be more alive.

A passage that perhaps can explain this better than I, is this;

"Those who are reluctant to give up their lives and embrace death are not true warriors.... Go to the battlefield firmly confident of victory, and you will come home with no wounds whatever. Engage in combat fully determined to die and you will be alive; wish to survive in the battle and you will surely meet death. When you leave the house determined not to see it again you will come home safely; when you have any thought of returning you will not return. You may not be in the wrong to think that the world is always subject to change, but the warrior must not entertain this way of thinking, for his fate is always determined."
- Daisetz Teitaro Suzuki, 'Zen and the Japanese Culture'

Those are the beliefs of Uesugi Kenshin known in the Sengoku period as the Tiger of Echigo. He was a legendary figure in Japanese history still celebrated today. Every year the Kenshin Festival is held in Joetsu in August. There is a parade, a taking of the field and flowers are placed on the grave of Uesugi Kenshin. We'll come back to him at a later date, he's a really interesting person.

A Jesuit leader, St. Francis Xavier (1506-1552), noted that "There is no nation in the world which fears death less."

If you placed too much value on your own life and were afraid to fight or die, you were not a true samurai. Though there have been notable samurai in the past who never fought a single battle, they still held firmly to the belief in a good death and had resolutely engraved the principles of Bushidō into their very core.

The message I give you for today, building on the words and beliefs of Uesugi Kenshin, is this;

In whatever you do, be determined. Be strong and brave and you will not fail. Engrave the business of warriorhood into your soul! Grasp the long and short swords and charge bravely into battle knowing you will surely die. For only then will you truly be alive.

We interrupt this samurai related discussion to bring you this important message:

Ok, so it's not that important, but I needed to update. I am so bad at updating this every day. >_< Fail.

You'd think on the weekends when I have so much free time I'd be able to keep up, but this past weekend was kind of busy so I didn't get the chance.

I will try to do better. Studying takes up a lot of time. Not to mention my total absorption in the Japanese music scene. ^_^;

So I've been making a list of all the things I need to learn. It's a big list. Can I do it all in 1.5 years?

...

I don't really think I have a choice.

Samurai were generally very accomplished, literate people. Not just in swords but in other traditional arts as well. At least, Miyamoto Musashi was. He was a skilled samurai and also artist, poet, writer, and proficient in traditional tea ceremony. He believed that to know your own craft you must know others as well. You cannot limit your knowledge to one specific art or weapon. If you do, you think too narrowly and will have difficulties when you encounter an opponent.

The more experience you have with weapons of all kinds, to know their form and function and techniques, you will become a better strategist on the battlefield. In the same way, the more arts you study, the more versatile you will be in the battlefield of life. You will be a step above your opponent who may only know one or two.

Since I have always had many interests in various things, this is a good way to think. Even if I am not particularly good at one thing, there may be another that I am better at and can thus forge my way, but having knowledge of other crafts will benefit me even more on the "battlefield".

So I am looking closely at things I should study, even if I do not have the intent to master them, the knowledge I gain will be invaluable in life.

Obviously the first thing on the list should be swordsmanship. Also there is calligraphy, tea ceremony, sumi-e, poetry, music, martial arts, and traditional Japanese cooking.

I want to be a more accomplished person and have a wide knowledge of things. After I master the Japanese language I would like to go back and study my French again so that I can master it this time. I would also like to study Kyūdō (Japanese Archery), Ikebana, the violin, the Erhu (Chinese Violin), and Muay Thai.

I realize that's a lot to cram into a year. Obviously I won't be studying all that at once. ^_^; I'd have to quit my job and do nothing but train... Which I'd LOVE to do, but like everyone else, I have bills that need to be paid.

The most I can do is try my best. On the weekends when I am off work I can take lessons in martial arts, tea ceremony, Iaido, and calligraphy. I found a martial arts school that teaches all those things. So I'm saving my money for lessons. I'm really excited to start, but it won't be for a couple months yet.

Until then I'm going to work out at home and get in shape with some Yoga and Pilate. On the weekends I can go hiking in the national park.

Tomorrow we return to the discussion about what it means to be a samurai.

More and more when I look at the people who inspire me and my journey in life, I think;
"I have such a long way to go... Why did I wait so long to take the first steps? How long will it be until I reach my final destination?"

Unfortunately I do not have time for much of an entry today, but I do want to leave you with a passage from the Hagakure that exemplifies the essence of a samurai;

"If one were to say in a word what the condition of being a samurai is, its basis lies first in seriously devoting one's body and soul to his master. And if one is asked what to do beyond this, it would be to fit oneself inwardly with intelligence, humanity and courage.' The combining of these three virtues may seem unobtainable to the ordinary person, but it is easy. Intelligence is nothing more than discussing things with others. Limitless wisdom comes from this. Humanity is something done for the sake of others, simply comparing oneself with them and putting them in the fore. Courage is gritting one' s teeth ; it is simply doing that and pushing ahead, paying no attention to the circumstances. Anything that seems above these three is not necessary to be known.

As for outward aspects, there are personal appearance, one's way of speaking and calligraphy. And as all of these are daily matters, they improve by constant practice. Basically, one should perceive their nature to be one of quiet strength. If one has accomplished all these things, then he should have a knowledge of our area's history and customs. After that he may study the various arts as recreation. If you think it over, being a retainer is simple. And these days, if you observe people who are even a bit useful, you will see that they have accomplished these three outward aspects."

The Hagakure, written by Yamamoto Tsunetomo, is considered to be one of the most influential texts on samurai philosophy. It is a collection of sayings, thoughts, and observations gathered over a seven year period when Tsunemoto was living in seclusion as a Buddhist monk in the early 18th century.

During his life, Tsunemoto did little that he is recognized for. He served several masters and held various low positions before being re-engaged as a retainer to Lord Mitsushige, whom he served until Mitsushige's death in 1700.

Forbidden from committing junshi, ritual suicide in sympathy with the death of one's master, Tsunemoto became a Buddhist monk.

The Hagakure is the result of his conversations with a young samurai, Tashiro Tsuramoto, which lasted about seven years. Tashiro would frequently visit Tsunemoto while he was in seclusion and write down the wisdom that came from Tsunemoto.

The original text has 1300 selections. In 1979, William Scott Wilson selected 300 pieces that most effectively illustrated the Way of the Warrior and published them for an English speaking audience.

If you are interested in the samurai's philosophy from the point of view of someone who was considered the most a most absolute (if not extreme) samurai, then I highly suggest this book. You can purchase a copy from any book store, as it is still quite popular. You can also read it online HERE.

The subject of samurai and their code of honor is one that will require a lot of work to explain. It is a deeply intricate world, spanning hundreds of years. There are so many people who shaped how we view samurai and their world. Their culture in ancient Japan is extensive and detailed and so will require much reading on my part to better understand the makings of a true samurai. I really want to investigate some of the prominent samurai clans and famous warriors who helped shape the country I love. So today's blog is a brief overview of samurai and Bushidō.

There are so many things to consider when writing about a class with such a long history. So much information to gather. I find I have a hard time keeping things simple, one thought leads to another... One paragraph reveals more questions, facts and points of interest. It is easy to get tangled up in the web of intrigue that surrounds the samurai and their life in traditional Japan. So many laws, teachings, prominent people, battles, and stories. You just keep following that glittering string of fascination, it winds and twists and binds you until you're utterly lost in a world of swords and honor.

So let's begin with a very brief overview of the samurai class;


If the samurai had been something native to America or Europe, they would only have been men.

In Japan, a country then free of the negativity of Christianity where women are concerned, samurai were both men and women; husbands, wives, sons and daughters...

The samurai class have a long, detailed and illustrious history in Japan. They were the fighting elite and ranked at the top of the class system. They enjoyed privileges denied to others below them in the social hierarchy; the others being farmers, craftsman and merchants, in that order. They were the only ones allowed to carry swords and were expected to set a good example for the rest of the populace by showing supreme loyalty and honor in their every deed.

I personally feel that samurai have always been there, even from the formation of Japan, so deeply are they threaded throughout Japanese culture, even today. They are the root of Japan, the guardians and teachers.

The original word, saburau eventually changed to samurai, and means "one who serves in close attendance to nobility". So highly regarded, they were almost nobility themselves.

The word bushi, from whence comes Bushidō, is Chinese in origin and means "armsman or warrior". In ancient Japan, Bushi was the name for samurai from traditional warrior clans, of which there were many.

At one time samurai accounted for 10% of Japan's population, flourishing as a class for hundreds of years until their eventual decline during the Meiji restoration that began in the 1860's with the landing of the black ships.

Though traditional samurai have disappeared from Japan, the teachings of Bushidō still live on.

Although the word Bushidō (the way of the warrior) wouldn't become a popular term until the 19th century, the samurai have always followed this code that has been adapted and influenced over the course of hundreds of years by many things such as prominent writers of the times and the philosophies of Buddhism, Shinto, Zen and Confucianism.

The 7 Principles of Bushidō are:

• gi (Rectitude)
  
• yū (Courage)
  
• jin (Benevolence)
  
• rei (Respect)
  
• makoto (Honesty)
  
• meiyo (Honor)
  
• chūgi (Loyalty)
  

It was a code that stressed mercy, justice, unending loyalty to one's master, and death before dishonor.

If you should fail your master or dishonor your family name, the only way to regain that honor was to commit seppuku, ritual suicide by disembowelment.

Seppuku was also used as judicial punishment if a samurai was found guilty of a serious crime, although this practice was discontinued in 1873 after the Meiji Restoration.

Warriors on the battlefield would also commit seppuku so as not to fall into the hands of the enemy and risk possible torture.

I could go on, but the topic of seppuku is a whole entry all its own and will be covered at a later point.

I've decided to start katakana after all. I want to learn everything as fast as possible. I am beginning to think that maybe I can really master Japanese in a year and a half. Maybe not completely, but I just know with a lot of hard work I'll do really well. All the progress I've made so far has bolstered my confidence... Although, I'm still really afraid of Kanji and I foresee many frustrations ahead. ^_^

My poor little toolbox at work is now crammed with notes and pages of romaji lyrics. Now that I've discovered the band Acid Black Cherry, and the translations of their lyrics by Kiku, it's about to get even more full. ^_^; Poor thing.

Happy October! It's my favorite month! Unfortunately the weather has been really terrible and I haven't been able to go hiking or enjoy the bright fall colors. But I hope that will change soon. I'd really like to get outside more.

As it is my favorite month, I hereby dub it "National Samurai Month"!

I promised more discussion on samurai and Bushido. I apologize for taking so long. There's just so much I want to talk about and the history of samurai is so long and detailed that it's difficult to know where to begin especially when it's all so interesting!

So as for this entry, it's just a note to let you know I haven't forgotten. I've been doing a lot of research and trying to divide up the topics into organized groups. So many interesting people to talk about! I'm trying to gather as much information as possible, which can be difficult given the lack of English translations on some subjects.

For now, I'm off to work! Have a good day everyone!

Even though I say "I'm trying really hard," sometimes I feel like I'm not actually trying at all. Even though my brain can move in many directions at once, I myself can only do one thing at a time. This makes me very frustrated sometimes because looking at it now, a year and a half seems such a short time, but also a very long time.

It's very far away right now because I want to be there so badly, but in the scope of all that I have to accomplish, it's only mere seconds.

Exhausted from a week of work and having a weekend of piled up chores ahead of me, Saturday is always my 'lazy' day. In which I always say, "I will definitely be productive!" always ends with me being ... well, lazy.

Today was no different. I spent a great amount of time lounging about with my 2 fat kitties, indulging in my Japanese culture obsession by watching movie trailers, interviews, scoping out new music and reading blog translations for my favorite artists. So much actual work didn't get done...

But even so, I try to look at the bright side. I don't think I should focus so much on what I didn't do, and look at what I did do. Looking at all the things you failed to accomplish will only bring you down. That is what I think.

- Today I got groceries and perfected making traditional Japanese rice without the aid of a rice cooker. Although my rice ball making abilities still need a lot of work. >_<

- Today I gave my grandma a lesson in hiragana where I explained how it worked and how to write compound syllables. It was very informative.

- Today I read an inspirational biography that made me laugh, cry, and think. It made me want to work even harder at my goals. After I finished it, I felt like I should run a marathon and start physically training very hard! Of course I didn't because it was after 10:30pm and I don't think my body would appreciate a run in the cold rain. Not with my recent breathing problems. Truth be told I probably wouldn't even make it 4 houses down the lane before I was completely out of breath on the pavement. ^_^; But it was truly inspirational and I'm going to do my best with the amount of time that I have.


Honestly, my Japanese lesson books are staring at me right now. I can hear them admonishing me for not studying harder. I've been too focused on the writing portion that I've been neglecting the actual language. I think the books are quite angry with me now.

Perhaps I should consider studying the language a bit more before moving on to Katakana... I really must work to balance out the language and writing learning.

Starting tomorrow we will talk more about Samurai and Bushido. I promise.