Turning Blessings Into Brotherhood

Did you ever scroll through LinkedIn and feel like you accidentally walked into a wedding where everyone is celebrating… except you? 

One person just got promoted. Another just raised funding. A third is smiling in a five-star restaurant with someone important enough that you feel like you should know who they are. And there you are, holding your coffee, wondering if your life RSVP got lost in the mail. 

Why Do I Feel Bad When I See Others’ Success? 

People feel bad when they see others succeed because of social comparison—a psychological process where we measure ourselves against others and feel behind. 

It’s not that people are trying to hurt you. They’re sharing their wins. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: studies on social comparison show that roughly 30–40% of people feel worse about themselves after seeing others’ success online (American Psychological Association).  

Psychologists call this social comparison theory—first introduced by Leon Festinger—which explains why we measure ourselves against others even when it hurts us. Recent studies show that passive scrolling (just watching others succeed) leads to significantly lower mood than active engagement. 

Why Does Social Media Make People Feel Behind In Life? 

Social media makes people feel behind because it shows outcomes without context, leading people to compare their full lives to others’ highlights. 

What are we supposed to do—stop sharing good things? 

Not exactly. 

Well, what does the Torah say about success, gratitude, and comparison? 

The Torah teaches that success and gratitude are meant to be shared with others, not kept private, as demonstrated through the korban todah (Berachot 54b). 

Berachot 54b states the four situations where you make the offering — surviving an illness that made you bedridden for more than three days, getting released from imprisonment, desert travel, and sea travel.  

The korban todah (Thanksgiving Offering) wasn’t limited to private gratitude. It wasn’t even limited to a public display of telling others what happened. It was designed to be seen, shared, and experienced with others. 

What is the Deeper Meaning of the Korban Todah? 

You didn’t just say “thank you.” You brought an offering… along with forty loaves of bread. The offering could be a male cow (a bull), goat, sheep, or a mincha (wheat) offering.  

From the time you offered your thanksgiving korban, you had until daybreak the next morning to consume the food that wasn’t given to Hashem at the Altar or to the Kohanim.  

A single bull can produce over 100 steaks. A goat yields around 45 pounds of meat. Even the most ambitious eater would tap out somewhere around steak number three—maybe four if there’s good chimichurri. 

Why Was the Korban Todah Designed to Force Sharing? 

The korban todah was designed to force sharing by limiting how long the offering could be eaten, ensuring that one person could not consume it alone (Vayikra 7:15). 

The food you didn’t finish had to be burned in its entirety, or else the offering would be nullified.  

Why is God intentionally forcing urgency? The commentators explain: gratitude delayed becomes gratitude diminished. By compressing time, the commandment ensures that the blessing spills outward immediately. 

What do you do with 100 steaks and less than 24 hours to consume them all? 

You invite people. Friends. Family. Strangers. The poor. Orphans. 

What Does Judaism Teach About Sharing Blessings? 

Judaism teaches that true joy comes from sharing blessings with others, not keeping them for oneself, as explained by the Rambam (Hilchot Yom Tov 6:18). The korban todah turns survival into generosity—it transforms ‘I made it’ into ‘come join me.’ 

Your personal salvation becomes a public celebration. 

Why Does Sharing Joy Increase It Instead of Reduce It? 

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov teaches in Likutei Moharan that joy expands when it is given to others. 

It’s like a flame that lights other candles without losing its own fire. When a person holds onto blessing only for himself, it shrinks. When he gives it away, it increases. 

How Can We Share Success Without Creating Distance? 

We can share success in a way that includes others through lessons learned, struggles sweat through, and value gained—rather than presenting it as separation. 

Let’s bring this back to your social media feed. I’ve seen this play out repeatedly on social media: 

Two people post success. One creates connection, the other creates distance. Same achievement. Completely different impact. The problem isn’t that we share success. The problem is how we share it. 

Is Sharing Success on Social Media Harmful? 

Sharing success on social media is not harmful, but sharing it without context can create emotional distance instead of connection. 

Posts like: 

“I got this—“ implies that you didn’t. 
“I’m here—“ says you’re not. 
“I know them—“ screams you don’t.” 

It’s like holding up a steak behind glass and saying, “Look how good this is,” while everyone else stands outside hungry. 

You might be thinking: “Come on. It’s just social media. People are allowed to celebrate.” 

You’re right. This is what the korban todah is all about – celebration! 

God isn’t asking you to celebrate less. He’s asking you to celebrate better. 

The korban todah wasn’t about climbing above everyone else. It was about returning from the edge of the abyss. It wasn’t, “Look how high I’ve gone.” It was, “Look how Hashem brought me back.” 

That’s something everyone can feel. It’s something we can all rejoice in. 

This is the key. When opening up about the source of the joy, make it something that everyone can join in on and genuinely feel a part of. A social media post celebrating something needs to focus on the tough, the difficult, and the experience because that’s the part everyone can connect to. 

Share the Steak for Today 

When you have something good to share, find where everyone can benefit: 

• Share the struggle 
  Let people know what it took to get there. Not everything—just enough so others don’t feel alone climbing their mountain.  

• Share the value 
  That powerful person you met? What did they say that could help others? That’s the real gold.  

• Share what you learned 
  Don’t just post the promotion. Explain the mistakes, the failures, the lessons. Turn your win into someone else’s roadmap.  

• Share the gratitude 
  Make Hashem visible in your story. Not as a slogan—but as the quiet force behind everything.  

Research on envy shows it isn’t triggered by success alone—it’s triggered by perceived distance. When people feel ‘that could never be me,’ envy grows. When they feel ‘maybe I could get there,’ inspiration takes over. 

People don’t resent your blessing. They resent feeling excluded from it. When you include them—even a little—you transform envy into inspiration. 

It’s like a sunflower. A sunflower turns outward, toward the sun. One stalk grows over 2,000 seeds, and these seeds feed others. Even the seed’s shells feed the animals! That’s why it grows tall and strong  — to help everyone in its environment.  

Your blessings are your seeds. Sharing them like the korban todah is how you can plant them into other people’s lives. 

When you do, something remarkable happens: 

Your success uplifts others rather than separates them. It stops being a spotlight, and becomes a table.  Suddenly, everyone has joined you for the meal.  

Key Takeaways 

• People feel bad when they see others succeed because of social comparison, where we measure our lives against others and feel behind—even when the comparison is incomplete.  

• The korban todah teaches that gratitude is not meant to stay private; it is designed to be shared, turning personal salvation into a collective experience.  

• Success creates distance when it highlights separation, but creates connection when it includes others through lessons, struggle, and meaning.  

• Sharing value—not just outcomes—transforms envy into inspiration, helping others see what is possible instead of what they lack.  

• True joy grows when it is given to others, as taught by the Rambam and Rebbe Nachman—what you share expands, what you keep shrinks.  

• Social media amplifies comparison by showing results without context, but it can also become a tool for connection when success is shared with purpose.  

• The deeper lesson: don’t show your blessing—share your blessing, turning success from a spotlight into a table where others are invited to grow.