How's My Driving?

This is my first time playing Sasuke, so yeaaaaah. CRIT, COMMENTS, FEEDBACK, RANDOM YELLING: it all goes here. Anon commenting on, IP logging off, screening on <3

ALL THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION MEME because I don't want to thread but I want to answer all the questions

so I guess this is headcanon facts 2.0? Whatever. Answered ICly but honestly! So ... mildly icly. At least for most of them.

( under the cut~ under the cut~ darling it's better down the street and not across the road~ ... waitCollapse )

WOOHOO DONE. Uh. Comment here for extrapolation or whatever?

Here's a list of Sasuke's jutsus/techniques and Sasuke's stats, as given by the databook! THIS IS ALL SO I DON'T FORGET SHIT BECAUSE I HAVE EPIC ADD.

( statsCollapse )


( SASUKE'S ATTACKSCollapse )

this will now be my gratuitous fic post because I am still technically working on an headcanon fic. Sort of. Slowly.

BUT FIRST, since for the Dite event Sasuke is getting sexswapped, here is a fic about that. For funsies.

( also called Sasuke-changes-into-a-girl-and-nothing-is-different-no-jutsuCollapse )

I AM NEVER LINKING THIS TO ANYONE FIND IT AT YOUR OWN RISK, ASSWIPES oh my god I suck so bad

CURRENT TIMELINE: Right when Team Taka gets to Iron Country/before the Kage Summit/chapter 456/457
PLANNED CANON UPDATE TIME: Whenever I can be fairly certain we'll see Sasuke soon I mean seriously to update him to his current most recent canon point I need to wait until his NEXT canon appearance DAMN YOU, EYE UPGRADES
What I think of recent developments: I am surprised they didn't happen earlier. I AGREE 100% WITH SASUKE'S DEVELOPMENT ALWAYS. Naruto being the only one to make him go back to not-completely batshit? Yeah, totally being Jesus'd into oblivion before the end of this manga. Will I love it? Hell yeah.
What I want to see most: Sasuke and Naruto teaming up to kill the shit out of Madara. Sakura can take Kabuchimaru down. (NO KAKASHI YOU CAN'T COME!!!)

I keep changing this post I'm bored guys BORED!!

◆ HATE; want nothing more than your blood on my hands
◆ INDIFFERENCE; why should I care who you are?
◆ INTEREST; maybe you're worth talking to
◆ ALLY; doesn't mean I like you
◆ FRIEND; we've got it all wrong
◆ IMPORTANT; for you I might just waste it all
◆ ATTRACTION; I'm wasting my time
◆ LOVE; too bad the dead don't talk

✯ STRONG; I want to fight you
☠ REVENGE; I'll kill you if it's the last thing I do
✠ SHINOBI; our world is better off gone

If you get to orange you deserve a medal. Heck, you deserve a medal at yellow. Pink is the only color that gets varying levels. (... Iiiif you get that far, and it is up to FIVE. Once you get past that you attain LOVELOVE levels WHY AM I MAKING THIS NOTE YOU WILL NEVER GET THAT FAR.) More than one color means mixed feelings.

( permanently in a state of updating ughCollapse )

NOTE THAT I AM TRYING TO KEEP THIS TO PEOPLE WHO SASUKE HAS SPOKEN TO MORE THAN ONCE/WHO GAVE HIM A LASTING IMPRESSION because otherwise I'd be here all month. If you feel I've forgotten you, though, feel free to comment and I'll rectify it because I have ADD and can't remember half the people my characters have CR with on a regular basis.

to add: Karin, Mikoto, Obito, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Killer Bee, Genkaku, Mieu, Sai, Madara, The Doctor (11th)
to update: NO ONE HA HA [as of april 1st 2011]

Stolen from Sakura because I can't play Birth By Sleep right now and I am not tired yet fuck schoooooooool.

( note: special snowflake status applies to Sasuke only in his own series, reallyCollapse )

Depressing headcanon tiem is go.

( under a cut because I make myself bawCollapse )

Because this has been bugging me:

I AM AWARE SASUKE'S SHIRT IS THEORETICALLY WHITE. I call it greyish because every time I saw it in coloured pages/the anime, it was... you know. Greyish. (LOL LIGHTING?!) See icon! (Sasuke's hair is also blue in that so this is a case of HILARIOUS COLOURS but shut up)

And as for why I coloured his shirt grey in all his icons, well. Colour makes it easier for me to catch tiny flaws in the icon. and it also makes it easier to shade.

ALSO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE STOP ME FROM ICONING EVERY CHAPTER I keep replacing my icons I have enough for a 200 iconset by now I bet sob

sob

Yeah, that's all.






[spam]

THIS POST IS TO WRITE DOWN MY ACTIVITY so that I can guilt myself into playing more and also because of the new activity check posts, because I like making things easier for myself to find. ... Also keeping track of who Sasuke has and hasn't met, because WOW I HAVE EPIC ADD.

( yes, the icon is part of the guilt process... or the scare myself shitless process, whicheverCollapse )

OOC:
Name: Zia
Are you over 16?: my mommy says yes
Personal LJ: rainbowlasers
Email: ziakuroku@gmail.com
Timezone: EST
Other contact: Aim: ChibiZia
MSN: chibi_maxou@hotmail.com
Characters already in the game: Axel (flamesilocks)
How did you find us?: I got drunk and fell into a wormhole

IC:
Character name: Uchiha Sasuke or Sasuke Uchiha if you want to be all WESTERN
Fandom: Naruto
Timeline: Before he attacks the Kage summit/right when he gets to Iron country (Chapter 456/457)
Age: 16
~*Magical*~ abilities and strengths: Sasuke is a ninja! This means he controls spiritual energy (chakra) to accomplish a wide variety of techniques! Including walking on ceilings, yes. just throw the cake up here plz

Sasuke has control over a wide array of fire techniques (ranging from teensy fireballs to GIANT MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON OF FIIIIIRE) and lightning techniques (ranging from the most unsubtle assassination technique ever to, again, GIANT MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON OF LIGHTNIIIING)! He's also an accomplished swordsman because what else can one learn from a pedo other than waving a phallic object around and has been honing his speed since he was, like, twelve, meaning that everyone ever comments on it.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, Sasuke has what we call a "bloodline limit", the Sharingan. It's a special eye technique that can read muscle movement and copy any technique! It can see chakra in color! It can hypnotize you! IT CAN CONTROL DEMONS! It is a godmod technique idek. Most recently, Sasuke acquired the Mangekyou Sharingan, which allows him to set shit on eternal fire just by looking at it, create SUPER POWERFUL ILLUSIONS and summon a GIANT FUCKING GOD as protection or something.

... He can also summon hawks!

Basically Sasuke is a fucking badass ninja. u_ub

Appearance: Sasuke is 5'6" still taller than Naruto and weighs 115 lbs. Apparently avengers do not eat sammiches. His hair is black like his soul and while it lays flat on the front it goes straight up at the back. Like a duckbutt. His eyes are usually EQUALLY AS BLACK, but the iris turns red and the pupil turns... special when he activates the sharingan. He wears a greyish high collared shirt that zips up at the front with the Uchiha clan symbol on the back (a red and white pokéball fan), black wrist warmers, loose-ish black pants, black ninja sandals!! and an emergency dark purple shirt or something around his waist. The whole outfit is held up by a purple assbow rope! The rope also holds Sasuke's sword, Kusanagi. ( IMAGE!!1 because god knows I don't know how to explain clothes)

It's also canon-ly established that Sasuke is so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind hey Sasuke /clap clap ... or, in normal people terms, SASUKE IS VERY PRETTY. Everybody comments on it.

Background/Personality: WHEN SASUKE WAS A WEE BABY NINJA, in fact when he was so wee that he was not an official ninja yet, his life was pretty sweet. He was part of a clan of badass ninja geniuses! He had a mommy and a daddy who he loved very much even if his dad kinda ignored him a lot and the most badass and perfect older brother ever who he loved with HIS ENTIRE TINY BEING! He was a going to be a great ninja, just like the rest of his (extremely extended) family!! He was also developing an inferiority complex the size of a small planet thanks to always being compared to his older brother, but that was TOTALLY FINE, really.

And then when he was eight his brother killed their entire clan, went mindrape no jutsu on his ass and told him he did it to test his capacity. Then he told Sasuke he wasn't worth killing yet, and since Sasuke had the potential to become strong enough to kill him he should live and hate him forever and ever, and then, when Sasuke was strong enough and had killed his best friend to obtain some special eye jutsu thing, come before his brother so they could have a FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

Let's just say Sasuke did not give out a "best brother ever" award after that.

In light of this event, Sasuke swore to himself he would avenge his clan and kill his brother. To that effect, he shut himself off to the world and trained to become the best ninja ever. He graduated at the top of his ninja class in ninja school with his ninja classmates at the age of twelve. From then on, he was made a genin (first rank ninja) and put into squad 7 under the supervision of Hatake Kakashi with Naruto (dead last of the class and incidentally Sasuke's first (accidental) kiss) and Sakura (who had a giant crush on him like all the girls of his class minus like one). Their team is unbalanced and kind of terrible, teamwork wise, but they still pass the first test and go on to become "official" genin.

Together they train and perform incredible missions, like pull out weeds in a garden, find a missing cat, walk dogs, build a fence, buy groceries for little old ladies and finally get on a mission to escort and protect a bridge builder who has the ninja equivalent of a mafia boss after his ass, who can hire the highest level mercenary ninja who will stop at nothing to kill our protagonists! ... Yeah.

The mission to escort Tazuna to Wave Country was supposedly a C-mission, but missing info rose it to, say, an A mission. Not too far from their village, team 7 is attacked by two higher level ninja-- Sasuke does not hesitate and manages to hold his own against them. He also throws himself in front of Sakura to protect her from certain death (and Tazuna, but who cares about the client)! ... Luckily Kakashi blocked the attack and incapacitated both enemies. When the danger clears, Sasuke uses this opportunity to mock Naruto for having frozen on his spot like a sissy coward. TEAM SEVEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Regardless, they go on their merry way with the mission because going back home so the mission can be assigned to a real team would suck for the plot! Once they arrive in Wave Country, they are stopped by one of the Demons of the Mist, Zabuza. Kakashi tells his genin to protect Tazuna while he fights, and Sasuke learns that his teacher has a sharingan eye. He wonders half-heartedly why Kakashi does since, uh, Uchiha only, bitch, but since they are kind of in the middle of a dangerous fight does not ask directly. This fight shows a few things-- first, this time Sasuke is the one who's scared at the killing intent coming from Zabuza (Kakashi manages to reassure him, however) and second, once Kakashi is captured like a loser, Naruto and Sasuke work together to defeat free Kakashi! AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS. Kakashi beats Zabuza and they bring Tazuna to his home and live happily ever after! ... Except Zabuza's still alive and got away thanks to a meddling boywholookslikeagirl, and they still have to guard Tazuna some more. So while Tazuna works on the bridge, Kakashi announces that team 7 will train!

They spend like a week climbing up trees. ... Without their hands. It's far more badass on paper, really. Naruto and Sasuke continue to establish their homosexuality rivalry, until finally the day comes when Zabuza comes back! With his kid partner! WHILE NARUTO IS ASLEEP!!! Zabuza and Kakashi face off, and Sasuke faces off against Haku! ... Unfortunately, he gets trapped in Haku's bloodline limit (ICE ICE BABY) and is then turned into a pincushion. Naruto comes to save the day! ... And walks right into the trap too. So then they get turned into pincushions. While fighting Haku with Naruto, Sasuke unlocks his Sharingan. Haku, realizing that this could suck, decides to use Naruto's fallen body as a trap for Sasuke, who rushes in and takes the hit! He says his body acted on his own and regrets not killing his brother... Then, he dies after telling Naruto not to die.

So when the fight is over and Sasuke wakes up to Sakura crying over his dead body and crushing him really how inconsiderate they find out HAKU FAKED KILLING SASUKE! Too bad the boy's dead and all, but Zabuza killed the mafia boss so all is well and good and they get the fuck out of wave country, seriously.

Once back home, it's back to routine training and boring missions, until it's announced to all teachers that the exam so the genin can go up in rank will be held in Konoha! Like! Now!!! Kakashi nominates his team for the lulz and team 7 embarks on the dangerous journey that is... the Chuunin exam.

Full of people who want to beat the crap out of Sasuke! They meet their fellow babygenin, older genin, genin from other villages! It's like a giant meet-up of NINJA! Sasuke wants to fight Gaara, the homicidal maniac from Sand! And just before Team 7 enters the exam, they encounter Rock Lee, who pretty much beats the crap out of Sasuke! Sasuke is humiliated but wants to have a rematch with him, especially since their fight got interrupted.

Then they take a written exam. ...Where the point is to cheat!! Sasuke is the only one on his squad to figure it out and uses the Sharingan like it's no one's business. Team 7 somehow manages to pass and move on to round 2: a survival test in the Forest of Death. They have to fight other teams for scrolls! ... About five seconds in the test Sasuke notices they are being spied on and comes up with a ridiculous plan to see if Naruto is a fake or not! Fake!Naruto is uncovered and Sasuke owns his ass! Meanwhile, Naruto is eaten by a snake. Then he meets another fake!Naruto, and this one winds up being a creepy snake man with killing intent the size of a small country. Sakura and Sasuke freeze on the spot, horror on their face!! ... Then Sasuke stabs himself in the leg so he can stop being frozen and they get away, but he's still in a panic! THEN NARUTO COMES IN AND CALLS HIM A SISSY COWARD FOR NOT FIGHTING AND TELLING EVERYONE TO RUN AWAY and then gets his ass handed to him! Sakura reprises the sentiment! Sasuke fights the snake man and ends the fight by setting him on fire!! He dies!!! ...

But it winds up the snake man was actually Orochimaru, pretty much immortal pedophile. Orochimaru bites Sasuke in the neck and gives him a pretty tattoo: the Curse Seal. Since there's a, like 90% chance of death, Sasuke passes out in pain. Stupid snake venom.

Sasuke wakes up again, possessed by the mark and proceeds to beat the crap out of the ninja who attacked Sakura, going as far as breaking arms! He is vengeful and blood thirsty, and then Sakura hugtackles him and tells him to stop and he comes back to himself and has no idea what the crap happened. Huh. ... TEAM SEVEN MOVES ON AND FINISHES THE EXAM, PASSING IT SOMEHOW.

They then find out that too many people passed part 2, and that there are going to be preliminaries to the 3rd part of the exam. Since the third part of the exam is a tournament, so is the preliminary! Sasuke curses his appropriately named mark because it hurts like a bitch and tries to take over his mind, and that is not conducive to fights. Kakashi finds out about Sasuke's mark and warns him that, should it start to take over during his battle (and it will if he so much as THINKS about using chakra!), he won't hesitate to stop the fight and forfeit Sasuke out of the tournament. Sasuke doesn't want that, as he has people he reallyreally wants to fight, so off he goes! And since his luck blows his fight is with a guy who steals your chakra with a touch. Sasuke somehow prevails, even forcing back the curse seal once it starts to pop out like evil, evil acne! This win causes everyone to be impressed and at least two people get a boner. Okay, that's unfair, Gaara's boner was only metaphorical.

Once the fight is done, Kakashi seals Sasuke's curse seal so that it can only come out if Sasuke wishes it to! And while Sasuke is unconscious and half-naked at Kakashi's feet, Orochimaru pops on by to mention he really wants Sasuke. Most specifically, Sasuke's body.

... Kakashi feels reasonably freaked out by both this and Sasuke's upcoming fight with Gaara "I Will Shed Your Blood For My Mommy" of the Sand, and he decides to take matters into his own hand and leaves for the duration of the month before part 3 to train one-on-one with Sasuke in the mountains, sending Naruto to train with someone else entirely kthnxbai. Sharingans only, bitch.

The result of this training is one month later, after being ridiculously late to his match (by HOURS), Sasuke is 100% faster, 50% better in Taijutsu, he's learned the assassination technique Chidori, and he really, really needs a haircut. But his training paid off, as he is the first person to ever be able to wound Gaara ever! Unfortunately this causes Gaara to go into a breakdown and start going RAAH I R DEMON MODE, and then the exams are interrupted by Konoha being invaded. Bad timing. Gaara runs off to go be a monster, and Sasuke follows him. They fight away from Konoha, Sasuke unleashes the curse seal so he can have some extra chakra, and then gets his ass handed to him and is left worse for wear. AWESOME. Luckily, Sakura and Naruto followed him, and Sakura receives a hit for him! ... This causes Sasuke to tell Naruto to save Sakura and get out of there, admitting that Sakura and him are precious people to him, as he says he never wants to see people he love die in front of him again. Naruto gets a boner is inspired by Sasuke's speech, and kicks Gaara's ass! Sasuke is slightly jealous, and wonders when Naruto actually became badass. :|


But everything is fine, and after a depressing funeral, things seemingly go back to normal. Except when Sasuke goes to see Kakashi at his apartment one day, he finds his teacher passed out in a coma and a random Jounin comes in and says O HAI IS IT TRUE ITACHI IS BACK AND IS AFTER NARUTO. Awkward. Sasuke rushes off to find Itachi to 1) finally kill him and 2) save Naruto's ass. Priority in that order. He gets to the inn Naruto's staying that seconds after Itachi invites Naruto to come with them. He runs at him headfirst and ... gets his ass handed to him! Sasuke is horrified to realize that the difference in power between himself and Itachi has not diminished in any way.

Itachi puts him a coma too, and makes him relive his family's murder over and over again through an illusion, because THAT'S what a loving brother does!!! Luckily Jiraiya comes in to save the day, and Sasuke is brought back comatose to Konoha. A month later, the new Hokage wakes up both Sasuke and Kakashi with her healing jutsu. Sasuke then ANGSTS HORRIBLY OVER ITACHI. His own weakness versus his brother, his brother's sudden interest in Naruto, Naruto's general power gain, everything causes Sasuke misery and anger, until he finally snaps at Sakura and demands to battle with Naruto right the fuck now. They go up the hospital roof, and Sasuke refuses to acknowledge Naruto as his equal and wear his headband in their fight. The fight culminates when Naruto starts using Rasengan and Sasuke activates the Chidori to counter, and Sakura runs in between them to stop them. Sasuke and Naruto are horrified because they can't stop. Luckily, Kakashi shows up in the nick of time and throws them at conveniently placed water towers. Sasuke is slightly smug that his water tower has a bigger dent in it... until he finds out Naruto's attack ripped out the entire back of his water tower and he starts getting pissy again!

Kakashi catches up with him and ties him up to a tree to rant at him. He says he regrets teaching that attack to Sasuke, and tells him to abandon his revenge. Sasuke lashes out, saying he can't possibly understand Sasuke's feelings and asks him what he would do if Sasuke were to kill everyone important to him! Kakashi tells him they're all already dead. ... Awkward. Sasuke is mollified and Kakashi tells him that they've both suffered loss, but they're lucky, as they've both found people important to them. Sasuke is torn at the idea to give up his revenge and stay in Konoha with team 7. Kakashi leaves him to think about it after untying him, and Sasuke stays there until nightfall.

... Then, Sasuke is ambushed by Orochimaru's men, who own his ass, tell him he's weak and generally try to goad him to come with them to join Orochimaru. Between Konoha and his revenge, Sasuke picks revenge and decides to defect. He grabs his things home and lays down his team picture in a ~symbolic gesture~. Sakura, who was worried something like this would happen, stops him on the way, declaring her love for him and telling him that if he'll go, she'll scream. Sasuke thanks her, but he's adamant in his leaving, and so in order to do that he knocks her out and leaves her on a bench. Lovingly.

Sasuke is then made to eat a pill that will cause him to ~die~ unless he is placed in a special box so that he can reach a higher level in his curse seal and become EVEN STRONGER. The recipe for a level 2 curse seal includes "let ninja stew until he is sufficiently evil and drag queen-y". While Sasuke is playing Dick In A Box, Naruto and other Konoha ninja go on a mission to bring him back. This means that once Sasuke is done stewing, he has to go run away to Orochimaru on his own, as the Sound ninja guarding him are busy fighting baby genin. Way to go, Sound nins.

Naruto catches up with Sasuke at The Valley of the End, and they start a fight for the ages. Sasuke tells Naruto he is his most closest friend, and then proceeds to try to kill the fuck out of him to get the Mangekyou Sharingan. Sasuke's definition of bestest friends including murder can be blamed 100% on Itachi. Naruto refuses to let Sasuke win or kill him, and resolves to bring him back by breaking his legs if he has to. I'm not sure who we can blame for Naruto's definition of friendship including BREAKING LEGS.

At first, Sasuke's got the advantage, what with the Sharingan and the Curse Seal working in his favor, but after he manages to Chidori Naruto through his right shoulder and lung he'd aimed for the heart and missed ha ha, Naruto's demon chakra kicked in, giving HIM the upper hand. Naruto tried to knock some sense into our emoriffic chicken butt, but Sasuke yelled at him that he could never understand what it was like to have bonds, to have a family, and then lose them, because Naruto had always been alone. It was losing these bonds which really hurt. And that's why he's trying to kill Naruto. Because losing MORE bonds HELPS!!

Sasuke's sharingan activated it's last level or well last level attainable through things not including murder at that moment, tiping the battle back in his favor! Then Naruto's demon chakra started creating a shield, putting the battle back in his favor! Sasuke, seriously tired of reenacting a Dragon Ball Z fight, activated the level 2 of his curse seal for the first time and transformed into a drag queen demon-like being, and announced that even though Naruto was special, Sasuke was even more special. In the head. Naruto and Sasuke go at each other full power, chidori and rasengan in hand, creating a ... huge... ball of chakra... that ... encompassed them... And then Naruto scratched Sasuke's forehead protector to prove a point. Or something.

The battle ends with Sasuke winning sort of and Naruto passed out on the ground. After suffering from horrible backlash pain and vomitting blood all around Naruto's head lovingly, Sasuke stares at Naruto's face in the rain lovingly and decides not to kill him. He leaves for Orochimaru and vows to surpass Itachi in his own way, because maybe always listening to the man who murdered your entire clan is not the best course of action.

Once Sasuke arrives in sound, he is given a snuggly bathrobe. ... And also told that he'll be trained since Sasuke came juuuust after Orochimaru had already switched bodies, and the pedo can only do that every three years. TIMING!!

[At this point, dear mods, you are now allowed to take a coffee break. Get up! Stretch your leg! Eat a sandwich! THEN COME BACK TO THIS BECAUSE GOOD GOD IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO OVER YET.]

Three years later, Sasuke makes his first reappearance when his replacement Sai is brought back to their current hideout. Sasuke doesn't give a crap about Sai and tells Orochimaru he's late, demanding to be trained right the fuck now. Sai tries to have a conversation with Sasuke, first about how they might get along (Sasuke responds to this with lovingly trapping him in genjutsu full of killing intent <3) and then by telling him about Sakura and Naruto still chasing after him (which he doesn't give a crap about)! Sasuke repeats his demand to be trained you promiiiiiised and so they leave Sai there like he's nothing more than a log.

Later on, Sai pops by Sasuke's room while he's napping and wakes him up because what kind of ninja doesn't feel snakes on his back when he LIVES WITH THEM honestly Sai. Sasuke doesn't even bother to turn around, simply asking what Sai wants. Sai tells him he wants to mend Naruto and Sasuke's bond. Sasuke is understandably pissed that he was woken up to talk about bonds and explodes half of the hide out for Sai's troubles. He's grumpy when he wakes up.

This alerts Naruto and Sakura to his hiding place, and they go see him full of HOPES and DREAMS that Sasuke crushes the second he sees them again by greeting them with complete and total indifference. He calls Sai his replacement and seems surprised that Kakashi isn't in the group, though! Sasuke tells them he's severed all bonds with them, and once Naruto asks him why he didn't kill him three years ago then, Sasuke first mentions being unable to do what "that man" said. When Naruto shows confusion, Sasuke simply says he spared Naruto on a whim, and this time, he'd kill him on that same whim.

FUN TIMES are had when Sasuke's improved skills prove too much for the poor new Team Kakashi to handle. Naruto panics and tries to access the Kyuubi, but he's interrupted in the middle of a philosophical debate with the Kyuubi on whether or not to remove the seal and by philosophical I mean Kyuubi goes "DO IT" and Naruto goes "um okay" by Sasuke, who is all up in his mind and he's like "Your mind being made up of an empty sewer system explains so damn much". ... No, actually he doesn't, but he totally could have. The Kyuubi compares him to Uchiha Madara while Sasuke finally learns that Naruto is the Kyuubi's container you'd think a genius would have figured it out before, seriously and Sasuke, in loving response to Kyuubi's totally wanted comment, squishes him right back in his cage like a good foxy. Naruto is like "oh well um fuck".

Just when Sasuke has made up his mind to kill the four people who woke him up from his nap the assholes, Orochimaru comes by and tells him not to, since they'll probably help in picking off the Akatsuki. Sasuke seriously doesn't care either way, and so they skip away happily. To have sex. Gay sex. Pedo gay sex. Pedo gay ninja sex. ... Really!!

A while passes before Sasuke makes his next appearance, apparently busy training by knocking out hundreds of enemy ninjas and refusing to kill them because he only wants to kill one man. See, he was just being grumpy because team 7 woke him up. really!!! Orochimaru, for his part, is nearly at his limit and really needs to switch bodies!

Sasuke kind of likes his body not being possessed by a snake pedo, however, and so he decides to kill the sickly and dying Orochimaru!! Orochimaru counters Sasuke's amazing killing blows by initiating the SOUL TRANSFER JUTSU, but Sasuke uses his sheer power of will, coupled by his sharingan and main character status to instead ABSORB and CONTAIN Orochimaru in HIS body. Then he hightails it out of there in the hopes to go ahead and have a go at Itachi again. BUT FIRST, HE IS GOING TO ASSEMBLE A TEAM TO HELP HIM OUT IN OCCUPYING AKATSUKI AND TRACKING ITACHI DOWN. Ladies and gentlemen, Sasuke used logic while thinking about Itachi. It's super-effective.

Sasuke frees Suigetsu from his aquarium, detours off to wave Country to grab Zabuza's sword for the fishboy and stare at the Great Naruto Bridge. They then grab jail-celler Karin, who is totally not following them because she has the hots for Sasuke or ANYTHING. Sasuke tells Suigetsu to free Orochimaru's prisoners, and Suigetsu uses this opportunity to tell them to pass on the message: Sasuke Uchiha killed Orochimaru and he's going to free them all and bring PEACE to this WORLD. Suigetsu may or may not have been drunk at that point to say something so retarded.

The third and last member of their four-man squad is Juugo, the boy from where the idea of the curse seal comes from. He's incredibly strong and agrees to go with Sasuke after Sasuke tells him he is Kimimaro's replacement/reincarnation in a sense and will be able to contain his crazy blood thirsty side that wants to kill everybody and everything. Including their little dogs.

Sasuke brings his newly formed team to a place with a cat lady an old friend of the Uchiha family so they can get armed and also get clothes and other fun things! Sasuke bribes the ninja cats with catnip he apparently parades around with. I don't care that it's not important it is hilarious.

Then, after he addresses his team to go look for leads on Itachi while he naps he stays behind and does something TOTALLY IMPORTANT, Sasuke is ambushed by Akatsuki member Deidara. And partner Tobi, but Tobi doesn't actually do much in this fight. Deidara, angry that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, challenges Sasuke to a match forcibly by, well, attacking him head on.

Using his Sharingan, Sasuke managed to counter most of Deidara's attacks, driving him insane with his pre-existing bias against the technique, because IT WAS NOT ART AND COULDN'T SEE HIS ART AND CONDESCENSION AND NNGH!!!1 Read: Deidara was in denial at his crush on Itachi. Sasuke refuses to kill Deidara at the end, instead demanding to know Itachi's whereabouts. Deidara blows himself up in a last-ditch effort attempt to kill Sasuke, but Sasuke manages to summon giant snake Manda in the nick of time and escapes through a weird... reverse... summon ... thing... which Suigetsu brings him back from! Manda dies from this, but who cares. Sasuke also lost a wing in battle, making his drag-queen form hilariously lopsided.

Sasuke then recovers from his wounds in a random inn while his team tries to find Itachi! ... Again! They move out of the village when they realize that Naruto&co are coming, and anyway Sasuke wants to go check out the hide-outs Juugo's birds found. In one of the caves, Itachi awaits!!! Sasuke stabs him and is then rewarded for all his prowess by it being a crow clone, who tells Sasuke to come see him so they can BATTLE TO THE DEATH. For real!!! Sasuke moves out, punching one of Naruto's clones through the chest along the way. This is love.

Sasuke's team is told to stay behind while Sasuke goes to fight Itachi. Sasuke and Itachi play a game of genjutsu tag, all the while Sasuke tries to force his brother to tell him who helped him pick off the clan as he's actually realized over the years that a thirteen year old picking off an entire clan of genius ninja alone was kind of retarded and impossible. Itachi tells Sasuke all about Madara Uchiha and the Uchiha clan and how the greatest Uchiha technique is acquired by STEALING YOUR SIBLING'S EYES, saving yourself from blindness. Or something. Itachi goes crazy and spends most of the fight going after Sasuke's eyes while Sasuke looks fairly disturbed. THEIR FIGHT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY CLOSE, STRENGTH WISE, mostly because Itachi is slowly dying and is pretty much blind, but yes. Sasuke uses too much chakra, meaning that he can no longer contain Orochimaru who SPROUTS OUT FROM HIS BACK, ew, but Itachi is like "gtfo my baby brother" and sends Orochimaru away for eternity in a permanent genjutsu. Or something like that. Basically it makes Sasuke's curse seal disappear FOREVER AND EVER. Then Itachi pokes Sasuke in the forehead one last time, a bright smile on his face, and dies. Sasuke passes out from exhaustion!

When Sasuke wakes up, he has been taken by the Akatsuki member Tobi, who is actually MADARA UCHIHA in DIGUISE!!11 He is extremely lethargic, even when he finds out that Itachi had booby trapped Sasuke's eye with Amaterasu to attack Madara on sight. Madara decides it is story time, and tells him that his entire life was based on a LIE and actually Itachi LOVED HIM VERY MUCH. Sasuke calls bull crap until Madara makes some very good points about Itachi sucking hardcore at villainy, and then he panics and starts to hyperventilate at the prospect of his entire being a LIE.

When Sasuke wakes up the next time, he is tied up forced to listen to Madara ramble on and on about the good old days like the old man he is. BACK IN MADARA'S DAY THE UCHIHA BATTLE THE SENJUU, ETC, ETC, and everyone tunes him out until he culminates his story by saying that Konoha ordered Itachi to kill his clan because they were planning a coup, and since Itachi was actually a pacifist and didn't want a war he accepted the mission but wasn't able to kill Sasuke! He then elaborated the most retarded plan EVER in order to make Sasuke believe the Uchiha was a loved clan and he'd kill Itachi and become Konoha's hero and bring back glory to the clan because Sasuke's life was more important to him than Konoha and BASICALLY SASUKE'S ENTIRE LIFE WAS A LIE.

Sasuke is reasonably fucked up with this news, especially as he recalls his loving brother of old, and then decides that he is going to kill the Konoha elders who gave the order (Danzo and Those Two Old Council Members). Madara bugs him into joining Akatsuki so they can work together to destroy Konoha and he'll even give him the power of a demon if he brings him back the container for the eight-tailed demon! Or some crap. Sasuke accepts just to see if Madara was lying or not, but later on mentions to his team that it's important to note THEY are the ones using Akatsuki and not the other way around. Kthnxbai.

Now armed with his very own special Mangekyou Sharingan insert anime flute sound here, Sasuke and his team embark on a mission to capture Killer Bee! The first part of the fight is Killer Bee making mincemeat out of Sasuke and his companions literally, and let it never be known that Sasuke's ribs aren't pretty when exposed to fresh air in a way that lets them all try to sacrifice himself for him! Sasuke is reminded of team 7 and is apparently deeply touched or something, which lets him unlock a new achievement jutsu: Ametarasu! He sets the demon on fire and they capture Hachibi! They bring him to the akatsuki and then decide to heal their wounds before going after Konoha. Because, y'know, ow.

After Konoha is destroyed, Madara realizes that the Hachibi was actually just a tentacle (seriously) and they've been had! He pops up in front of Sasuke to chastise him about failing the Akatsuki. Sasuke tries to kill Madara, but Madara is too godmod for that. Madara fails to care that Sasuke's kind of a brat. He then tells Sasuke that Konoha has already been destroyed anyway, and now Danzo is Hokage and heading for the Kage Summit in Iron Country. Sasuke is understandably confused at what the crap happened in Konoha, but decides they will go to the Kage Summit and KILL THE HOKAGE!!!

They arrive in Iron Country accompanied by half of Zetsu (... plant types)! It is cold and snowy!! ... AND SINCE THIS IS WHEN I'M TAKING SASUKE FROM I AM STOPPING THERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT BACKGROUND.

~PERSONALITY~: Sasuke's outside appearance is, 99% of the time, ~cool, calm and collected~. His facial expressions are generally blank, blank and blanker. It made iconing boring. INSIDE THOUGH he is a boiling volcano of HATE and ANGER and HURT and post-traumatic stress disorder and other nice things like that. He's made the choice to ~ignore the light~, and honestly doesn't believe there's anything else for him outside of revenge. He has no respect for his elders! He's a weird mix of EMO EMO ANGST, MENTALLY HAVING A TANTRUM, pure hate!!!11 and being so emotionally stunted it's not funny. He still won't attack/kill people not related to his revenge, ~true avenger~ or not, and honestly he's got both a superiority complex and an inferiority complex. He's mentally fucked but outwardly still in total control.

And honestly he doesn't care about you. And you. Or you. /no heart

1st person sample: There's no illusion that should be able to fool these eyes of mine. So, that means it's true. The world's been destroyed.

... Tch. It doesn't change anything. If I managed to survive, I can't be the only one. I won't rest until I've accomplished my revenge, even if it means waiting for them to come to me instead. There's no doubt to me that they're still alive.

There's a reason I survived the world's destruction. I still haven't accomplished my revenge.

3rd person sample: Sasuke wishes this situation wasn't painfully familiar, but it is. At least the last time he'd been told he was a "survivor", he hadn't been given paperwork to fill -- though that might have to do more with being eight at the time than no paperwork being around, he supposes.

He stares at the paper blankly and tries to wrap his head around the info, however scarce it may be, that he's been given. The whole world had been destroyed. Ninja, tailed beasts, samurai, civilians -- no one had been spared, save for those that could be found on ships identical to this. Whole planets being destroyed was apparently a common enough situation that there were ships for the survivors.

Sasuke doesn't really feel much about the destruction of his planet. Yes, planet, because his world had already been destroyed -- eight years ago. Then, recently... No. It wasn't the time for that. He'd avenge Itachi and his clan-- there's no doubt in his mind that Danzo had survived, just like he had. And, even in the slight chance that man hadn't, there was at least Madara to consider. Madara had escaped death long enough and often enough to be able to do it again.

But if neither of them were here, Sasuke would have to bide his time. He'd continue to train himself, then, and if he was lucky, Taka would find him later. Karin especially would be useful in tracking Danzo, the elders or even Madara in space. If he was unlucky, they were dead. Either way, he'd still have his revenge.

Ironic, how it was always the only thing he had left to live for.

Questions?: WHY AM I APPING SASUKE??? WHY IS HIS BACKGROUND SO LONG??? DID ANY OF YOU EVEN BOTHER READING THE ENTIRE HISTORY PART??? Also, how long was your coffee break? /innocence