Notes from a work holiday (It's MLK Jr.'s birthday) spent on my couch.


1- British bakers are making cupcakes on this rerun of Cupcake Wars.

Butterfly cupcakes! They slice the top off, cut it in half, sprinkle them with sugar and then stick them on top so it looks like a butterfly. SO CUTE. AND YUM.

This other guy made a 'scone' cupcake but I didn't get it. He sliced it in half and then put the frosting on it and then put the bottom on top and it just looked weird.

They're making them for the Queen's 60th (or 80th?) year on the throne but I am doubtful that the Queen is actually going to eat these cupcakes herself. (Unless they look like butterflies.)

2 - silverweave (hihihi!) mentioned podcasts to me in my depressing money-whine post, AND there was a new update to one of my fave podcasts from PTV. I had faded out on TWOP toward the end, but PreviouslyTV is hitting all my marks. Their recaps are full of visual aids and make me LOL even when I read about shows I don't watch. (I never watch the Bachelor but I LOL consistently reading the recaps.)

BUT - they are podcasting a rewatch of all the seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 and even though I watched them at the time when I was young, it's so hilarious to think back on the eps now. They also have visual aids so you can check out what they were talking about in the podcast, like fashion and expressions. (They've just gotten to the 'Dylan cheats on Brenda with Kelly' storyline and I am enjoying it immensely.)

3.
I have been 'reading' (aka listening to audiobooks) a lot more romance than I ever have before. Since I don't have a lot of sex, (aka any at all because that would require leaving my couch), I now consider myself a prude. Even the Regency recs (thanks overnighter!) make me cover my mouth and go "Oh my!" I just want to hand out rape whistles to every lady in a romance novel. "You don't even know him yet! It's only chapter two!"

I have read a few great YA Dystopian novels, but they are frustrating because they always end on a cliffhanger where you have to wait FOREVER for a second or third book.

I guess I just like books where falling in love and getting laid isn't the most important thing to the story.

4.
Captain Sassy, my current fish, is a punk. There's a little castle in his bowl and he doesn't come up when I feed him - OR when I shine a flashlight into the castle to see if he is dead. Then I get the sink all cleaned out so I can empty the tank and give him a soldier's funeral - and the little bastard is there floating around flaunting his tail. I am too old for his shenanigans.

Kay. I am trying to unfuck my life and no matter how many times I've done it before, I *totally* mean it this time.

So in order to start Un-Fucking my life, I've made daily checklists to try and get me some structure. I want to be more OCD because at least I'd have some order to my life. Journaling is part of that. I've never been the diary type, I honestly hate thinking about my own life - my headspace is not a happy or steady place to spend a lot of time - so I write fic and read about other people.

Today, I am journaling about Money. Joy. *sarcasm*

I know finances are not the base of happiness, money's the root of all evil for a reason - but damn if I'm not struggling every day.

There are, as always, remedies for this. And there are also, as always, excuses I have for not doing them.

- Smoking. EXPENSIVE. 5$ a pack and I'm up to 2 packs a day. That's 70$ a week. WTF. I have to quit. Fuck my health, I *have* to quit for my budget. I just get so *mean* when I don't smoke. I want to smash things. I have smashed things in the past when trying to quit.

- Student Loans. EXPENSIVE. I know I'm a hypocrite for complaining about it because I went so many years without paying them - but I had it worked out last year, you know? I had a manageable payment of 150$ a month and I was *on* that like butter on toast - but I had to renegotiate (every year apparently) and somehow fucked up on the website and it didn't go through so my payment's been $325 per month. That's like a car payment. I *cannot* pay it, I had to cancel my Netflix and my cable's next. If I don't pay them, they garnish my wages and I won't be able to afford to live. I am struggling and I hate it.

- Food. EXPENSIVE. I'm trying to eat healthy but it's so much more expensive and I end up wasting it. I have a bucket (it's a legit bucket for sandcastles that Mom gave me for Xmas) full of oranges and apples that I have not eaten. The oranges are WRONG but they were on sale and I bought too many. And blackberries and fancy rice crackers and all this shit because I have Gout now at 36 - GOUT - and don't want to take more meds and am trying to just eat low-purine food so I can walk without pain. Do I need to buy a garden? Is there any way for people to eat healthy without spending shit-tons of money? I can't have red meat or seafood or basically anything that's yummy. I am miserable and fat and unhealthy. I just want TACOS. And STEAK. And EVERYTHING FRIED EVER.

- Life. EXPENSIVE. My TV broke. I have a TV that is smaller than my laptop screen with a VCR attached. It's from the 80's. It's hilariously tiny and I have no remote so I have to get up to adjust the volume and it's awful. I know from watching LockUp all the time that even people in jail have bigger TVs than me.

I am a spoiled, lazy fat girl and that's okay. I've been okay with that for 35+ years. But I don't want to be a BROKE spoiled lazy fat girl.

This is my mid-life crisis.

So hi, if you're reading - and since this is supposed to be a journaling experience - this is what I want myself to remember when I read this later.

Reasons you are un-fucking your life:

- There are movies that you want to see before you die. They mostly come out in March. You will have money for movies in MARCH.
- There are books you want to read because you need to know what happens. You will have money for books in APRIL.
- There is so much TV you need to watch. SO MUCH.


Here are things that make you happy that you should remember:

- That song "Georgia" by Vance Joy. You really like that song.
- That Jeff Buckley cover of Bob Dylan's 'Just Like A Woman' is nostalgic and sad and you should listen to it more and find your old Dylan cd set that had that Isis song on it.
- Sometimes you are charming as fuck. That's from that other song you like.
- You are actually getting along with your mom and they are getting old and you are going to be the one responsible for them. Remember this because you owe your parents everything and they deserve to be looked after.
- You do not live with your parents. Thank fuck.
- There will always be sexy men with sexy abs for you to look at.
- You DO NOT HAVE KIDS. Thank fuck.
- You have friends that like you even when you are not drinking. This is important.
- You are not in jail. This is a good thing. Even if you don't have to pay rent and get free cable in jail, you would not have a couch. This is important to remember.

Okay, box checked off my list for Friday for journal time. Good job, me. Yesterday was Ao3, tomorrow is Tumblr and Sunday will be journal time again.

I know it's been a while since I dropped into LJ, but why can't I see my friends' page past 5/27? I can't scroll back to see what I missed? Boo.

I am feeling completely computer fail-ly today but I am totes blaming this outdated browser at work. I am trying to play over on tumblr - it's like discovering a whole new part of the internet I have been avoiding. It is apparently not as complicated as I am making it, but my head hurts a little.

Random notes -

1) My bff is moving back into my apartment building on Saturday. She is currently living at her parents' house and has been complaining since she moved in there. Now, she hasn't moved yet but has scoped out the apartment and found tons of things she hates about it. I'm just so glad she has something she can complain about. But I'm not sure the complex will allow her to cover up the utility box outside her door because they might not like having to take shit down when they work on the electricity and stuff.

2) I have Fall Out Boy tickets for July! It will be my first concert in multiple years. I'm totally excited. :D

3) I have been digging into forgotten folders on my HD and finding original fic and I'm like, 'oh, I remember what happens, where is that?' and then realizing I never wrote it. So many stories I have never put into words.

4) Work still sucks. I helped relocate the entire call center by disconnecting computers, loading them into office chairs because we did not have a cart, and reconnecting them in the new location. 35 computers. I don't think that requirement of lifting 10 lbs or more was in my contract. I hate this job, but I am seriously angling for a raise since I'm still here.

5) I was listening to 'This American Life' and they had a story about this dad who got 'challenged' to call his adult children once a day for a month to tell them he loved them. He made it three days and explained that he doesn't need to tell his kids that he loved them because they should know already.

So I texted my mom and told her and said that I loved her even if I didn't say it and she replied that she loved me too but that she didn't want to be like my Dad who says it so much that it doesn't mean anything anymore. Oh snap! (But you KNOW that she would be upset if he stopped saying it.)


Happy Wednesday!

Got an LJ PM asking me to post 'and now for something completely different' on Ao3. That thing is 129,108 words long. WHAAAAT EVEN.

Hope everyone is doing well!

(I did not get the job. The HR lady didn't respond to my emails after 4/7 and she was not 1) sick or 2) on vacation or 3) jail. She said in an email (finally) on Monday that leadership had changed the hiring requirements and I didn't get it. But she said she passed along my application to other positions in the division but what the fuck ever. SHE TOLD MY BOSS I HAD THE JOB. MY BOSS OPENED MY POSITION BECAUSE I WAS LEAVING. THAT could have REALLY FUCKED ME. So what the fuck ever.)

AVENGERS ON FRIDAY. SO. READY.



Remind me to blather about the awesomeness that Agent Carter and Daredevil have brought into my life.

( Boring.Collapse )

In more exciting and important news - my Mom is taking me to NYC because she apparently has a bucket list. We're taking a train because yay trains, and we're staying at the Comfort Inn near Times Square because my mom's bff wanted us to be "close to everything".

Those are the only plans we have. They might pay for a tour bus thing where they drive around and drop you off places and then pick you up again randomly, but I got my planning talent from Mom who has none either so her BFF is handling that. I don't like to walk much but my bff and I walked EVERYWHERE when we went last time but I am anticipating a lot of sitting/riding because Mom's BFF has a bad knee.

So starting Wednesday April 8th-11th, I will be here:

Comfort Inn Times Square South Area
305 West 39Th Street
New York NY 10018 US

I think I have harassed overnighter into meeting me and I'm still planning on stalking down loracj to see if she's free (I have issues entering subject lines since my work internet browser doesn't support gmail, fuckers, and it may have looked like spam) but I wanted to let all the Yankees know in case anyone will be in that area that would want to have lunch/dinner/snacks or just chat while I'm in the scary North. My mom told me to entertain myself so I may end up sitting in Central Park texting about how cray all the Yankees are.

1) I got nudged! \o/ Hi, mel39!

2) Watched tons of LockUp today and now watching lots of Snapped. IDEK. I'm done with trying to interpret the reasons for why I watch crime and jail shows, I just do. I don't have to get emotionally attached or wait to see what happens. You go to jail or you're in jail. No stupid cliffhangers.

3) The Walking Dead - Dude - if Rick Grimes tells you to stop - FUCKING STOP. God. People are so dumb.

4) Watched Troll 2 this week. I ♥ Troll 2 now. It has become my happy place.

5) Shuttled my mom back and forth to the hospital (her bff's hubby had a stroke) to save parking fees and realized that her van's signal light doesn't shut off when you turn. HOW. WHAT. God, I WAS that old lady with her signal light on driving through town. Is that how it always was in the old days?

6) Ooh, and I saw somewhere that Black Mirror is doing a Christmas Special! I love how British TV gives out Christmas presents.




( Read more...Collapse )

1) Why is one of my friends on Facebook a dog? I mean, my icon is a cat, but this is my friend's dog. Why would I friend my friend's dog? I am looking at my life and my choices.

2) My high school BFF that I lost touch with (her parents moved when she went to college and she could only afford one semester and legit never got in touch with me after) pinged me on facebook. Gah, that was like, 15+ years ago. I am nostalgic because we were close, stuck to the hip or whatever, close-close; but if people that have known me from LJ back in the beginning when I was still drinking and fun - this is before that when I didn't curse or drink or smoke and read *all* the time and went to movies with my bffs. THAT WAS WAYBACK OK. So I really don't know what to talk to her about, but - it's really really nice to know she's not dead and she's ok.

3) I downloaded a new game where you have a bunch of letters and you have to spell a word. Okay, if I have all the letters to spell "FUCKTARD" then it should COUNT OKAY, I mean, probability or whatever - that's a lucky group of letters. Then a I have to spell "TRUCK" instead. Not cool!

4) Mac' and Cheese, you guys, it's delicious. You have to try the frozen kind - the white cheddar bacon ones are omnomnomnom.

5) I quit smoking for 32 hours this weekend before my fake cigarette stopped giving me fake smoke. Currently, I have two cigarettes burning in two different ashtrays on the same table.



This is what my subconscious sends to me all day every day:

1) Spending my day off (for nano - I promise!) - watching WW2 documentaries. Why is France always the first place that goes down? It's not landlocked or anything, but everybody wants some of France. Why'd they have to bring poor Belgium into it? Running a country is HARD. I don't see why you'd want to invade more of them - that just seems like so much more work. There's so much out there on WW2, but man WW1 was fucking awful. I guess because the US didn't get involved as much, I don't as much, but damn, a ton of people died in that war, too. I totally have to read ALL the books I bought my dad for xmas. This bullet point is brought to you by the Smithsonian Channel that has appeared on my cable menu.

2) Back from a physical (BOO) where I was yet again diagnosed as 'fat and lazy' and the cure as 'stop being fat and lazy'. I kid, my friend is my NP so she doesn't scold me, she just gives me judgy looks. BUT - I don't understand why in 2014 we don't have a better way to piss in a cup. SERIOUSLY. They give you this thing when you do stool samples to catch your poo. Why can't they put one of those potty chair things in the toilet so I don't get my hand all wet and GROSS. WTF SCIENCE. GET ON THAT. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

3) The Flash is still cute. Agents of SHIELD is still awesome. The Walking Dead still owns my dark, black, angst-riddled soul.

4) In reference to #3, Michael Cudlitz KILLED it last week on TWD. I didn't watch Southland, but I think I should. I didn't get him at first on TWD, he's just zombie fodder, and they didn't give us enough backstory for me to care about him at all; but watching him break last week with his stupid red hair - he got me. To take a character that I don't care about apart from mild annoyance and pull so many emotions out of me, he's a damned good actor. I usually zone out in the offside episodes, but FINALLY seeing his motivations and the sparse flashbacks to how he got to now - I really want to give that Cudlitz a high-five. Watching him *break*, well, he fucking nailed it because I believed it. I know, now, after watching the aftershow, that there was a whole other element behind the opening flashback with his family from the comics that AMC evaded - but it worked for me because Cudlitz acted his ass off.

5) I want Joe Kenda to be my grumpy wise uncle or something. He's so judgy. I ♥ him.

6) My thumb hurts because I fucked up my cuticle. This is my spacebar finger, how can I write Nano in such a condition?




Now, back to writing with my crippled thumb.

Summing up my Avengers/Marvel work from Ao3 for anyone interested on stumbling into some superheroing.

Het:

chiseled out of brick - Steve/Maria Hill - fluff - series, so there are two fics.

you give me miles and miles of mountains and i ask for the sea - Steve/Natasha - angst/fluff

phobic - Steve/Natasha - fluffy angst.

learns to cry over love of constellations - Steve/Melinda May - fluffy angst


Slash:

swallow my heart and flee - Steve/Tony, Steve/Merlin, Steve/Logan (X-Men) - crossover connected drabbles (aka failed musings on immortality). (This is more gen than slash, but there are mentions so I'm putting it here.) - fluffy

burning out my sins until there's nothing but dust - Steve/Tony - soapy future!fic.

all your history's like fire from a busted gun - Steve/Tony - non-powered au angst

I drink to paradise and death and the lie of love - Steve/Tony/Pepper - apocalyptic angst

red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song. - humor/fluff college drabbles.


Gen:

Voluntary bros - Steve & Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four) are bros. - fluff

houseguest - Natasha and Steve are bros. - fluff

we're all choirboys at best - Steve & Johnny Storm soulbonding fluff & angst.

twisted up by knaves - pre/post Captain America 2 fluffy angst.

fade - Crossover with Agents of SHIELD, Fitz-centric.  (Will eventually be het.)

Stevie Buchanan - Steve gets picked up by Canadian fisherman, completely AU.  (Will eventually be het.)

I've never felt much smaller, since the fall - Steve buys a cat.  Post CA2.


Dirty & Shameful:

pet - Steve/etc - bdsm

strings - Steve/etc - casual sexitimes.

I am such a slacker. Every time I tell myself I'm going to start posting regularly again, I zone the fuck out and play the Sims Medieval and watch crime tv instead.

And as I sit at work and fail to write stories between calls, I still don't write anything.

I've finally accepted that I'm completely disconnected from life. I don't go out of my house, I have to psych myself up to go out for smokes and every morning is a struggle. I take my meds, I don't cry at the drop of a hat anymore, and I still write - but there's nothing.

I was talking to my bff about Nano last night, one of the chicks at her new job is doing it. My bff flat out told me what has been haunting me for years. I can't write anything of sustenance because I'm not having experiences anymore. I watch TV, but I don't have conversations with people, I don't have a life outside of my house. I don't even have an internet life anymore. I read fic and leave kudos, I don't take the time to comment. I'm barely existing so how am I going to be able to write about anything?

BUT I am still working on Nano. I have one original fic that's a very crappy romance (because I've never been in love) and a few Avengers things working (1 het, 1 slash, 1 gen) and I'm definitely going to finish at least one of them. Even if they're crap, they're something. Writing's been my hobby since I high school, probably before, when I used to scribble stories down the margins of my notes to pretend like I was paying attention. I've never been good at it and I haven't been *working* on improving but I should enjoy what I do.

I can't expect my writing to get better when 1) I listen to all my books now instead of reading them and 2) I don't have anything to write about.

I need to figure out how to actually care about things again. My house is a mess, my life is a mess and I have absolutely no goals in my life.

SO. On to other things.

1) Marvel, please give my soul back and let me think about something other than sexy superheroes and un-reality.

2) OMG you guys. Gotham is awful. I know it's my opinion because my BFF loves it, but I barely made it through episode one. What does it say about me that I can't support Ben McK in a superhero-esque show? I was obsessed with the OC for so long and now I'm obsessed with superheroes so it should be perfect, right?

3) On the other hand, I LOVE the Flash. It's campy and fun and ridiculous and doesn't take itself too seriously and I want to watch it all the time.

4) Someone voted in my weirdly formatted (what is up, LJ with the polls?) poll in my last post that they liked Outlander. OUTLANDER is totes the best. overnighter turned me on to it and my bff and I are totally stunned that we can lust after legitimate gingers. My bff was totally uninterested during the first half of the first one but she ended up staying at my place until after 2am so we could watch 4 eps in a row after that. BUT - we are saving the finale because what even is April? I am hoarding it and planning on streaming it over the holidays as our reward for making it another year.

5) I hung out with my Mom on Monday and it wasn't awful. She is obsessed with quilting now so we ended up at the fabric store and wtf that stuff is expensive. She wants some $70-ish cutting pad or something, she showed it to me so I have to try and save up and then remember which one it is. But I'm getting a quilt for xmas so yay!

6) My friend, once my really good friend who is now just a friend I text once a month for proof of life, sent me this really sad text this week asking me to come see him. He says his mom thinks I am mad at her. Okay, so I did yell at his mom the last time I talked to her when he was detoxing at my apartment and she refused to come out and convince him to go to rehab. I am not mad at his mom, I get it, and now that we've all realized it was a fucking boyfriend spat that caused all that, I'm definitely not mad at her. He wanted attention and he got it. He's a fucking alcoholic but he's not a junkie. ANYWAY, my issue is - how am I supposed to explain to him that I don't come see him because I don't like hanging out with him when he drinks and he always drinks? I'm a hypocrite, that's what he'll think because I didn't turn into this much of a weirdo until after I quit. Anyway, I replied back with a smiley face, told him he should move closer to my apartment and left it there.

7) I am very sad that ONTD has changed so much recently. There was some kind of lawsuit where they got in trouble for stealing news stories or whatever so now all they can do is 'rewrite' articles and only link to twitter or something. All I know is that where I used to get all my celebrity gossip by clicking on the source, now takes me to a twitter with no link to the story. I mean, I already had to adblock the site because of all the pornographic icons but it was worth it to be able to see a good gossip story and then click the link to read the actual story and IT. I think I'm just sad about LJ fading away. TUMBLR IS SO HARD YOU GUYS. I *hate* having to go there and scroll through the vitriolic comments just to find a link to a legit story. I know it's just celebrity gossip, but it's been a big part of my daily websurfing for years and it's fucking sad.

8) More later. I'm going to try and get in the habit of spamming again. Even if this turns into an actual journal/diary just for me, I think I need to use it. I need to reconnect to *something*.

How is everyone? . ( Here is a Poll.Collapse ) Here are a couple of macros in the spirit of me pretending to do nano again this year in order to take random days off work. Whatever. I never finish but I'm totally planning on starting again anyway. &

( and some extra lols.Collapse )

.

.

.

1. They are making a Baywatch movie.  But they can’t call it Baywatch.  And the actors are playing themselves.  But – “secretly working as CIA spies while travelling the world promoting Baywatch.”  Why didn’t I ever think of that?  It makes totally sense now.
2. Remember how I said Lindsay Lohan was doing a play?  Well, she’s already showing up late and hungover to rehearsal.  Oh, Lindsay, at least go hang out in France with Kanyesus or something.  THAT would be a party – at least for the tabloids.
3. Ciara got herself some dreadlocks.  Obvs, Future is a good influence on her.  (WTF, seriously?)
4. My bff and I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance – but last night we had friends over (who totally broke the ‘no talking when they’re dancing’ rules) and one of them ACTUALLY knew the dancing terminology.  I like our critiques better that consist of ‘ooooh, pretty!’ to ‘omg – her plié was awful’ or whatever the hell he was talking about.  It was pretty.

Now some pics to make up for yesterday’s suckiness. ( Macros!Collapse )

.

.

.

.

1. Paris Hilton’s got a new song out.  No one cares.  Still, good for her.
2. There’s a new show on TLC called ‘Buying Naked’ about nudists shopping for real estate.  There’s also ‘Naked and Afraid’ where people get dropped in the woods naked.  I have not watched either of these – and I think there’s a ‘Dating Naked’ or something coming on soon – I totally think I’m going to marathon these like I used to do Animal Hoarders.  Because what’s better than watching a bunch of censored naked people wandering through the jungle and then going on dates and then buying houses.  Naked.
3. Beyonce’s dad’s got another illegitimate kid that needs a DNA test.  I think he’s broke now but I’m sure they’ll get some money out of them.  I wonder if Beyonce goes to the family reunions anymore.  Or does she just stay home drinking wine and swimming in her money.
4. Robin Thicke’s album totes bombed in the UK (# 200!!).  Hahahaha.  I hope Paula is hanging out with someone hotter with actual swagger, not Alan Thicke swagger.  (Sorry, Robin has no swagger.)

( Macros!Collapse )

I send these emails to my coworkers every day, I decided I would start posting here since I used to post everything like this here.

1. 4 days.  I didn’t smoke for most of Friday.  Then I bought a pack.  I didn’t smoke for most Saturday.  Then I bought a pack.  Progress?  Ha, no.
2. I am eating all the chocolate.  ALL THE CHOCOLATE.  So good.  So fat.  So good.
3. The rich people in the Hamptons are mad that the Kardashians are filming/starting a boutique there. 
4. Kanye got booed TWICE this weekend when he was covering for Drake at these concerts.  I’m worried, you guys.  If he goes batshit, I will seriously have to start listening to 2 Chainz and I don’t even like 2 Chainz.
5. Michelle Rodriguez broke up with her girlfriend last week and now she’s dating Zac Efron.  Huh.  Considering how many DUIs she’s had, I wonder if he’s drinking again.  I’m worried you guys.  I want to start a support group where I can tell people what’s wrong with their lives.
6. No one watched Miley’s special on NBC this weekend!  How horrible for her!  She should come to the support group.

( Monday macros!Collapse )

Let's talk like old friends!

I'm not even going to do cuts for the poll! Clicking is good for the soul!



So, guys - how are you doing? LJ is dead and I'm as guilty as anyone because I read gossip and fanfic at Ao3 without coming over here. I am so much spazzier than I used to be and so much closer to being an agoraphobic hermit spinster - but I take my peace as it comes.

I miss you guys and during my most current deja vu, which is deeply humiliating to say the least, I found the coffee cup from the New York OC flist meeting that was FOREVER ago and realized how many flisters I've lost touch with. Even though this is the internet and I only met a sparse few of you in person - for a long time, many many years, you guys were my closest friends. I still maintain that my 'imaginary friends' from my flist know me better than any of my RL friends ever did. LJ was the only place I was ever really myself. *wipes melodramatic tear*

Every time I see a guinea pig, I think of helen. Every time I see a snapple I think of Smc. Every time I write a het story, I think of el and how there aren't enough words for vagina. Every time I see someone knitting, I think of zybysko. (I found my Ryan doll and he STILL has a broken arm! AND he lost a shoe!!!) Every time I think of the airport, I think of loracj and how she met me in scary Newark and looked after my clueless ass in scary NYC. Every time I see a duck, I think of silverweave. Every time I see a chicken, I think of cheeky. Every time I see a dragon, I think of Kat. I can't name everyone, but even if I never met you or kept in touch - I still remember you as a friend if you were an flister.

Whatever happened to teachertam? Or raggerga (remember him? I met him once! We drank beer!)? Monnie from New Zealand? Muchtvs? Emrose? Nemo? Finlee? Chazper? Southerngirl? Shakespearebint? Cianconnell? Dani? Joey? Who have you lost touch with that you still wonder about? Does anyone still talk to them? We are not really imaginary - where are we?


( And then there's this:Collapse )

I can't watch this at work, but I am excited!

I am trying and failing to write. But one of my prompt-writing books suggested haiku.

HAIKU. Food, pets, trees, phones and traffic poetry for Saturday.


slim jim oh i dont
know if you count as food but
om nom nom nom nom

a plastic dragon
sits where fluffy used to swim
lazy but shiny

trees without shiny
lights or decorations - but
pretty anyway

stupid busy buzz
why no call waiting - are you
an amish person?

my car is nice and
all but seriously, I
miss my couch yo - move.

To overnighter (who I recently got to SEE because I figured out how to Skype! Yays! I learn things! Still haven't figured out Tumblr but Skype! Yay!)

I am sadly more MIA than I wanted to be for 2014 but I've only been using the web for reading fic, not really anything else. Now that TWOP is dead, it totes makes me remember how much I ♥ my internet imaginary friends! We need to have a roll call, or a Skypeing party because it has been TOO long. I don't like The Facebook because I have friended a bunch of people from high school/childhood that I don't remember, plus every time I post something I find funny I get scolding texts from my Mom.

( Some RL rambles:Collapse )

6) AVENGERS 2 - GIVE IT TO ME NOW!



Now, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAKESPEARE!!





And Tom Hiddleston being awesome (as always)




What's new guys?

1) So this patient just called to register her boyfriend, his name was E. Israel. I asked "Israel spelled like the country?" And she replied, "What country?"

...

Really? REALLY? I am irrationally angry about this.

2) I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my entire existence is useless and am changing my goal in life to be the scariest zombie ever during the apocalypse. I will lead the zombie hoards because I have no contribution to surviving society. I am okay with this.

3) I am annoyed when patients call and whine. I know they are sick but whining and making those little 'ohhhh', 'uh uh' whimpering sounds - they aren't going to help you get in sooner. I mean this patient called and was sooo sick, whimpering and whining and then I heard her telling her kids to 'get out of there' in a normal, non-pathetic voice. What even, people. I mean, it's better than the assholes that are angry as soon as I answer the phone, and get all sweet and nice when I give them an appointment - like I'll forget they're assholes.

It just crushes my faith in humanity that people will be so unforgivably rude to phone people and on the web - just because you can't see someone, doesn't mean they're not human.

4) The lady behind me is driving me nuts.

5) I really want to go home.

* I work in a call center and a patient today told me I have "a personality like Jesus."  Win?

* They just cast Michael Douglas in one of the Phase 2 Marvel movies (or Phase 3?  I can't keep up).  Um.  Isn't he way old, and not in an insulting way, but yeah, in all definitions of old?  I mean, Robert Redford is in Cap 2 but he's not, like, a superhero.  I don't think.  I don't know.  But I guess since Paul Rudd is supposed to be the superhero in that one and he was the guy from Clueless that maybe it'll make sense because science?  I don't even know what I'm talking about.

* I, kind of, want to watch Being Human on SyFy tonight.  But it stresses me out soooo much that I feel like it would be safer to watch Strange Addictions on TLC.

* I don't like torrenting movies but I downloaded a bunch of Chris Evans' movies.  I think I have a problem.  I think I should start a support group for middle aged women slightly obsessed with famous people.  It's not affecting my life, yet, and I've been more obsessed with other things (see: The OC) but where's my support?  I mean, soccer moms and honor roll parents have stickers for their car - well, lusting after men I can never have is important to me and I should be able to have a bumper sticker.

* Pinochle sounds dirty.

1. MSNBC is doing a New Years LOCKUP marathon. I love Lockup. It's like a sign that this year will be my year! (I know they do these all the time but I have the day OFF and I can watch all DAY.)

2. If I'm getting a WHOLE year, then it's all mine and I can totally be excused for sitting on my couch as much as possible because it's MY year. Right?

3. I never *ever* want to go to jail.

4. I basically live my life in isolation as it is, only leaving for work or cigarettes - but their beds are so small that I know I would roll off onto the concrete all the time. There's no carpet ANYWHERE. That seems like total punishment.

5. Here are some funny pictures because I haven't shared or shopped for any for a while:



( 2014 Yay!Collapse )

6. Got to go, LockUp is on, ya'll. Stay out of jail! We can do it! We have the power!

7. But first, since I am still on an Avengers' thing, here are some Texts from Last Night featuring sexy Captain America, et al:



( lols for meCollapse )

8. NOW I can watch LockUp.

OMG. I just had that moment of clarity smart people always talk about.

Like, wow.

I am totally a bad singer if I'm not wearing headphones.

Brand. New. Information.

1. Music:

a. I'm an Eminem fan, idgaf about the politics behind it, I've always been a fan of his beats and his flow and his manipulation of words to twist it into rhymes. I guess I think about it in terms of storytelling, I'm aware it's not real. Dropping slurs into songs gets publicity for his album like Gaga's flying dress or Kanyesus writing abortion raps when his girlfriend's about to have a kid. At the root of it, it's storytelling and I've written stories about situations that I don't support or believe in real life. Hell, I'm a huge Cage fan and his older stuff's a lot more vicious and visceral for me than Em's stuff (Suicidal Failure's on all my rap playlists and it still makes my stomach turn). That said: I don't know if I like the new album and that makes me sad. When I'm old and sitting in the nursing home listening to oldies, I don't think I'll have this one on my playlist. Maybe it'll get better when I get through more than 5 songs.

Yes, my new rating system includes what I will listen to in the retirement home on my Oldies playlist.

b. I do like the new Gavin DeGraw album, it gets me in a better place when I'm having a 'meh' day. Not when I'm having a grumpy day, Kanye's for that. Gavin DeGraw is my 2013 replacement for Hootie and the Blowfish. And that's just fine.

c. Miley Cyrus. Ha. ILU, Miley.

2. Dudes.

a. Chris Hemsworth. Omnomnom. *insert Hammer joke here, I'm too lazy*

( clickCollapse )

b. Tom Hiddleston. Okay, okay, I get it now.

( clickCollapse )

c. Chris Evans. Beats a & b. (I should disclaim that I am about as patriotic as I am religious, which is not at all. But Captain America, fuck yeah. I support that ass and those abs.)



d. David Beckham. Goddamn. You know? Just.

( clickCollapse )

3. Nano.

a. 21364/50000. Not bad, yes/yes?

4. This was supposed to be a RL post but I have distracted myself with #2 and 3 and now have to get back to work.

5. HI HI HI HI.

ETA (because cute):

1. Still getting used to the new job.

Still Like: a) lack of stress b) saving of money (free parking + bringing lunch = more $) c) having time to listen to my books on Mp3 on the drive d) having time to write in a quiet room (between calls)

Still Hate: a) the drive (it's not even that far, but there's so much actual traffic that I am having to adjust.) b) internet explorer. *hates*

2. Yesterday on my cigarette break, I saw an ant carrying a huge piece of tobacco that had come from one of the many cigarette butts in the grass. I wondered if his ant friends were going to be totes mad for him wasting time on non foodstuffs, or if they were going to be totes happy for the nicotine fix.

3. I just spent way too much on cable so I can have a DVR and watch 'real tv' again. The Walking Dead, baby, BRING IT.

4. Speaking of TV:
a) I love 'Agents of SHIELD'. Totally here for all of that. Sure, the Whedon Touch is a good reason, but I think I would have enjoyed it regardless. It's light and fluffy and actiony and I want to watch it all the time. None of the characters really pinged with me yet (Except Coulson and Hill, but I already have a history of liking them) but when I realized that Fitz is the kid that played in the Fades, I knew I was going to be all in. Ming Na is awesome, btw. /squee

b) I was also totally impressed with Sleepy Hollow's premiere. A lot of shit was thrown in, sure, but I was sucked in the whole time. Ichabod is flaming dirty hot and I like the police lady, I think she's smart and awesome. And I was also impressed by the number of non-white characters - IDK why I noticed it so much but I was like, two white dudes got killed and there were tons of black/asian people still working at the PD - like real life, you know? I like that, and I like that it doesn't matter (i.e. it's not a plot point, it's not a show about racism or diversity, it's a campy supernatural procedural dramedy.) Go Sleepy Hollow, go.

c) I considered watching the Blacklist, but Bald James Spader is just...not right with me. I don't know why, I just *can't* with Bald James Spader.

d) Why does Curious George have no tail? SERIOUSLY? WHERE IS HIS TAIL?

e) What new TV shows are you digging?

5. I have decided that if I am going to bring sandwiches for lunch every day that I will make FANCY sandwiches. What this means is I have officially discovered: SANDWICH SPREADS. Seriously, how did I not know about these? I always go to mustard & a pickle but there are so many more things! I have a parmesan garlic spread (that I cover in bacon bits), and a horseradish dijon mayonnaise (I put a pickle on this one) and chipotle pepper spread (with blue cheese crumbles) and my newest find, Champagne Dill mustard. Omnomnom you guys. I still dislike bread, but I found this weird round bread that's only 50 calories (I think it's weight watcher bread or something) and while it has what looks like oatmeal (ew) on the outside, I think it's multigrain or something - anyway - it's less heavy and annoying than regular white bread. So, fancy sandwiches are saving me money and that's all good. Any and all fancy sandwich advice is welcome!

6. IT'S FRIDAY YOU GUYS. FRIDAYYYYYYYY.

1. Almost Friday! I get to look forward to Fridays again because I don't have shit to worry about all weekend, I will get to clock out and turn off my work brain until Monday. Yay!

2. My mom is making herself a Bible Story quilt, it has a panel for every book of the bible. I amused myself by trying to convince her that Abraham needed to be arrested for attempted murder for trying to sacrifice his kid because "God told him to." She was not as amused as I was. I was pretty proud that I could ID 95% of the panels, but I don't remember why Elijah was important.

3. I don't know if I have talked about my new reality TV problems (Totally missed SYTCD on Tuesday – dramatic.) but I *love* the new faux-reality show, SIBERIA. It's not real but it's filmed like a real one would be, with confessionals and tag-along-cameramen and CHICKEN MONSTERS. Seriously, the monster's footprints look like giant chicken tracks. I know that it is low budget because we never *see* the monster even though it randomly has been eating people (it ate a tiger, you guys – Siberian tigers are endangered! SAD.) Why don't more shows have Chicken Monsters? I would run from a regular sized chicken, believe me I would TOTALLY RUN faster if a chicken MONSTER was chasing me. I wish more people would watch so I could talk about it.

4. What else.

5. Anyone hear that rumor that Katie Holmes is dating Jamie Foxx? WEIRD.

6. I don't really like twerking, I think it's vulgar and don't really see the value of it other than it being dancing for normal people (i.e. dryhumping in the club which is what I consider normal people dancing) but is it really such a big deal that Miley is getting all this hate? As I was telling my friend who says she hates her & she blames it on the fact that she has a kid now; I think I like her more for her 'don't give a fuck, I'm rich' attitude. I used to hate her when she was a polished Disney princess, but I give the girl props now for doing what she wants. Man, I wish I was pretty and famous, I would be twerking all over town. And that's gross.

ETA: This makes me sound like a prude, but I'm really not - twerking falls under that same umbrella as non-pants (i.e. hotpants/shorty shorts) where it just makes me uncomfortable. I just don't find it valid in any way - but I respect those that do. It's just weird.

7. I have SO MUCH TIME to write at work now, it's crazy. But I usually get about 2500 words into something, get bored and start something else. This is a longstanding concern of mine. I have 20 pages of worldbuilding and outlining at home for an original story about a sociopathic villain but I'm scared to bring it to work because I will forget it and be sad. So I'm here pulling things out of my ass to write and failing to finish. Silverweave gave me a cute plotbunny that I hope to get written this pm, and it's OC related, so that should be fun.

8. Starting in September, FAMILY FEUD will be on every night from 6-7pm. This brings me much joy.

ETA2: Internet explorer is the BANE of my existence. Why is something this awful standard for the workplace? It's FUCKING AWFUL. It says the ad-blocker is activated but I still get ads and there is no tab functionality and BING can go fuck itself. WTF. RAGE.