Well, my wife is apparently on the mend quite well since she’s regaining her feistiness. I had to share the love from today, which has been almost non-stop:
Walking into the room while she was watching Hoda and Kathie Lee ooh and aah over some fattening hot mess that included lobster…
- DI: “Oh, lobster is my absolute favorite. But its expensive.”
- ME: “I thought I was your favorite.”
- DI: “You’re my favorite, babe.”
- ME: “But I’m cheaper than lobster…”
Driving around town to get more shit-sand for our two hairy shit factories (cats)…
- DI: “Watch it. This is a 30 zone. You’re going 31.”
- ———– driving…
- DI: “Bump! Watch it! Jesus!”
- ———– more driving…
- DI: “LOOK OUT HE’S TURNING!”
- ME: “Sweetness, please don’t think for a second that your current handicapped condition won’t stop me from slapping you up.”
- DI: [calmly] “F you.”
- ME: “Right.”
Coming in the front gate to our installation, on the way home with a stop at the Class Six (English: convenience store with liquor and smokes)…
- ME: “Okay, babe, so smokes and beer… anything else? What do you need?”
- DI: “Oh f-it. I didn’t shit myself silly or anything this morning, so get me a tiny vodka.”
- ME: [almost wrecks car into armed guard while laughing]
You can’t make this shit up, and we probably ought to sell tickets for it.
BrainRants 