While everyone else has been watching the new D&D film, I decided to go back and dig up this old relic that the world seems to have forgotten (a decision that was inspired by MushiMinion's review). And, well...

This is only just passable for me, by the narrowest of margins. And, even then, only by virtue of the fact that it feels like a live-action re-enactment of an actual D&D campaign, or what the hypothetical cutscenes would have looked like in some alternate universe version of Baldur's Gate, had they followed the trend that began in the mid-90s and used live-action FMVs. And hey, this is at least better than the first two films. I mean, I dragged my late…

A D&D movie featuring an evil party. Yes, this exists, and it's not an animation. It's very hard to track down. Apparently its' distribution company went bankrupt in 2018. I had to have a disk for my region free player shipped from over-seas for an out-of-print price point. Considering how big of a fan of D&D as I am though it was worth it. This didn't make for that good of a movie. But it certainly made for the film that feels tailor-made for the D&D geek inside of me. You straight get to see someone stuff a body inside a bag of holding to hide it, and other ridiculous things such as oddly phallic shrines and tipping the best…

Rec by Child of Chaos Chad Shark
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Rec me Daddy
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This is up there with Honor Among Thieves as one of the best movies with the D&D name.

Honor Among Thieves has Xenk, this has boobs. So you know it's a wash.

Why sell my soul to evil? Well, Akordia might give you some idea.

A knight of Pelor joins forces with a bunch of assholes. An evil sorceress, An Assassin, A Barbarian, and a Vermin Lord so he can get close enough to a "Mind flayer" that looks nothing like a Squid Head monster trying to create a book of vile darkness from the pain of a holy knight, to save his father.

For all the lore…

Das unglaubliche ist geschehen. Ich hielt es nicht mehr für möglich, aber der dritte 3 der Dungeons & Dragons-Reihe war tatsächlich eine Steigerung zu seinen beiden Vorgängern.
Ja, nur eine klitzekleine Steigerung und es ist immer noch die Wahl zwischen Pest oder Cholera, aber zumindest bietet Teil 3 Ansätze, welche, ich möchte nicht unbedingt gut sind, aber den Film immerhin etwas interessanter gestalten, wie die beiden vorherigen Filme.

Der Look wirkt nun nicht mehr komplett künstlich, sondern man hat eher das Gefühl, man schaue einem großen LARP zu, egal ob es die Kostüme oder auch die Kulissen sind.
Außerdem fand ich den Aspekt, dass man hier eigentlich bösen Charakteren folgt, wirklich nett und unterhaltsam.

Vielleicht liegt es an den beiden miserablen…

For what could at best muster a SyFy original movie budget, Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book of Vile Darkness, which I'm confident only begrudgingly allowed itself to be considered the third part of the theatrical Dungeons & Dragons canon, cuts all ties with either of the previous films and focuses on the most pen-and-papery role-playing plot we've had thus far.

We open at the phallic shine of Erectile where an eager Paladin experiences unfortunate Disfunction. Our budget Chris Pine protagonist (note the proximity to the Abrams Trek movies) mopes at his predicament as his father (Anthony Howell, or as I better know him, Foyle's crippled assistant Paul) advises his son that it happens to every guy and that there's nothing to…

I had been searching for this Dungeons and Dragons movie ever since I learned of its existence years ago. It was only shown in the UK and never made it across the pond to the US… not even for a bargain bin DVD release. But finally, some kind soul put it up on the internets and my quest came to an end.

This isn’t nearly as bad as I was led to believe. It’s not entirely good by any means, but I’ve seen worse. The sets and costumes are cheap, and the plot isn’t terribly interesting. However, there are some D&D easter eggs to look out for, and the creature design was pretty cool (the dragon was technically a wyvern,…

This movie fucking rules???

I mean, it is pretty bad, but bad in a specific way such that if you interpret it as the story of an unseen D&D campaign, it all makes perfect sense. The reason the party travels and sticks together is pretty contrived, yes; that's how these kinds of stories work. The quest is explained through an absurdly long expository prologue that is mostly irrelevant – I guess it was something the DM read out loud in the beginning. And the plot is directionless because the players are just being led through random encounters with the assumption that they will eventually run into what they are looking for.

All the characters are recognizable archetypes of weird or…

"The purity of my heart isn't some commodity that can be traded or bought."

I am not even a novice when it comes to Dungeons & Dragons, but I see people calling this the best one of the original three. And I have no idea why because I thought this was absolute shit. There may be some lore that I am not recognizing, but this felt like larping meets generic fantasy, meets the early 2000s made-for-cable TV budget. I would never consider myself a prude, but this has some of the most pointless nudity and sex I have ever seen in a movie. The costumes and makeup look cheap. And the set designs look like they were left over from a…