we watch them so you don't have to: lowest rated quest
recommended by: michael and sin

(lowest rated quest watchlist - ranked)

had an asthma attack from laughing at the scene where the guy uses a fucking mystic shield to fight off the fireballs that the ghost shark was spitting at him. jack thought i was actually dying on the other end of the phone. besides that, all i've got is quotes from jack and i. idk anything anymore. i think my brain melted out of my ears while watching this.

[me] is this supposed to be on some mythology-type shit?
[jack] i don't know, probably 
[jack] i don't know why they even bothered 
[jack] i don't know why anyone who made this film even bothered to continue existing

[me] okay this was filmed on a motorola 
[jack] this is like something i'd see in a student film class

[jack] all the long shots of them walking 
[me] ugh, it's birdemic all over again 

[me] have they never heard of a tripod? just wondering

[me] i can't believe people recommended this to me 
[jack] i mean.. you "can't believe it"? really?
[me] i mean, i can. i just don't want to 

[jack] i always say this, but we should've written the script. at least it would be funny 
[me] we could definitely do better 
[jack] i reckon we could make trash 
[me] we could definitely make trash

[me] i can't believe i'm about to say this, but this movie makes ghost shark seem like it actually makes sense 
[jack] the ghost of ghost shark. that should be the third film 

[jack] i just want it to get to the shark part cause that'll be when it gets funny 
[me] jack, you know it'll take 45 mins 

[me] can they get a microphone? i can't even hear anything they're saying
[jack] they don't even have a boom operator in this film 
[me] they couldn't afford one 

[me] i'm ready for this to be over 
[jack] this is all your fault 
[me] no it's the fault of the people who recommended this to me 
[jack] did people really recommend this to you?
[me] at least 2-3 people specifically asked me to watch this
[jack] they saw your recent watches and said this sure looks like an olivia film. that's how bad they think your taste is 
[me] i mean, i don't blame them 
[jack] you're probably embarrassed to even log this 
[me] logging 1313 was worse 

[me] i don't care about any of these characters, they could all die 
[jack] did you ever care?
[me] nope

[me] imagine we watched this with someone who got mad at us for talking through the entire movie 
[jack] they can't expect us to pay attention the whole time. that would just be cruel 
[me] imagine they start yelling at us for talking too much
[jack] imagine them telling us to shut up because they're missing the plot 

[jack] if this was the only quality of cinema i'd shoot myself 

[me] we're not even a half an hour in 
[jack] SHH i'm missing important plot 

[me] this is so stupid 
[jack] this is all olivia's fault 
[me] it's the people who recommended it to me's fault, i told you 
[jack] i'm still blaming you 

[me] i'm getting angry of how bad it is. do you feel angry of how bad it is?
[jack] yeah

[jack] this is like the worst thing that's ever been written down on paper and filmed
[jack] this is a new low for us
[me] does it have "new worse movie we've ever seen" potential?
[jack] just that scene alone was the worst thing i've ever seen in front of my eyes 

[jack] i don't even know what the fuck to say about this film
[me] there's nothing *to* say 
[jack] i'm embarrassed to log this 

[jack] if i was the director i wouldn't even be able to finish filming this because i'd be too embarrassed. it should've never seen the light of day 

[jack] we need to start looking up these studios to make sure they're actual legit studios 
[me] before we watch the movies?
[jack] exactly 

[me] for 70 mins this film feels so fucking long 
[jack] it would've felt long at 40 mins 

[jack] ugh i'm never watching another kickstarter looking film again 
[me] so you'll be back next week?
[jack] *silence*

*horrible scene*
[jack] olivia please strangle me to death 
[me] only if you strangle me at the same time 
[jack] okay 
[me] real friendship 
[jack] putting each other out of the misery of watching this

[jack] whoever tf recommended you this film, block them 
[me] but they're my friends jack 
[jack] block them 

[jack] i don't think i've even got the energy to trash this in a review 

(2020 - ranked)